Silent treatments, secret contracts and silly bedroom shenanigans! What marriage cannot relate to moments where the man asks the woman, "Anything wrong?" And she merely replies, "I'm Fine." The silent treatment starts and the guy knows he needs to say Sorry, but for what?!?!? The words Thank You and I'm Sorry have so much depth, but after many years of hearing them they lack the finesse needed to maintain the vows of marriage. With the divorce rate being what it is, learning how to fight with your spouse for the long term was a new concept. Why fight? Because the making up with your soulmate, best friend, lover, and the person you love more than the air you breath is worth every bit of the vow you originally made....and this book hones in on how to fight for life with the gloves down and the win is always a tie.

During COVID, I feel in love with The Holderness Family. They gave me joy in a dreary time. I enjoyed watching how they were on the screen, but when I saw the book it enticed me by the title alone. How can these fun loving people ever fight? W.H.A.T? And then to learn Kim is an introvert? I was spellbound as I too have a marriage of opposites. I cannot thank these two crazy kids enough for this book.

I loved how Kim and Penn were brutally honest, even about the sexual aspect of their marriage. And I was surprised, shocked and powerfully moved by these revelations, as I too have struggled with blatant honesty in the bedroom....and to learn the bond we share in the bedroom leads into more intimacy in all aspects of our marriage. It was not earth shattering knowledge, but it was compelling to learn how after so many years of taking each other for granted we find ourselves locked in rolls, 'secret contracts' and find we aren't as honest as we thought we were.

Dr. Edmondson, their amazing pastor/counselor/friend had insight into their marriage that I found applicable to my own. I think a person who has been married for mere months to many years would gain wisdom from this book.

I have received this book through HarperCollins, but have already purchased to give to multiple friends who I think would also benefit from the wisdom within these pages.

This is a good book. I loved reading the stories and seeing the different perspectives. It really shows you that we all aren’t thinking the same thing and how important communication truly is!

I really enjoyed this book! I loved the stories told from each perspective (husband and wife) and how issues are seen in different ways. I also found the advice very easy to implement and helpful. Some of the stories were a bit long winded for me and I felt at some parts of the book they seemed to be bragging about their success. A fun read that has some great tips - 4 stars from me!

Review coming soon. Thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the ARC; the opinions are mine.

Pub Date 3.30.21
#EverybodyFights #NetGalley

I received this book from NetGalley. I wanted to read this book because I follow them on Facebook and love their videos. This book shows us how as a married couple they work and live together without killing each other.

The authors interested me as I first heard of them through their videos on Facebook. They are hilarious and when I saw this book was available for review, I had to request it. I’m so glad I did. I liked their style and how they were able to weave humor throughout. I felt that they got real, shared some of their challenges in an authentic and humble way. They reinforce they aren’t perfect and have to work on their marriage everyday. It’s an interesting read with lots of great practical advice. #holdernesses

This book was so meaningful, it was exactly what I needed at this time in my life! I'm so glad I read this.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually read a self-help book before, and I solely picked this one because I absolutely love the Holderness’ videos on Facebook :-). My husband and I don’t fight nearly as much as it seems some other couples do, and a lot of the advice in this book are things we already do (like validating feelings - that’s just always been my natural reaction to people expressing big feelings; or the fact that we’ve always talked about our money, spending and budget so no problems there - although I really liked their idea of a values budget to guide your priorities on where to spend extra money!). But there were some parts that hit home (that whole chapter on avoidance, for instance, I’m the queen of being non-confrontational! And the one about your ‘secret contract’ for tasks around the house - assuming things will be done because one person has always done them - we’ve totally been there!) Then some of their advice is just generally good to do even if you’re not fighting about anything (e.g. that part about treating your spouse the same as treating a stranger/waiter - saying thank you for everything they do! And just the basics on actively listening to your partner - that’s a concept I’ve learned in an academic sense but making that connection to personal life is important too!)

Overall, what I liked most was the way they formatted it. Each chapter started with a detailed description of a fight they had had, told from each of their own perspectives. Giving advice is all well and good, but when you have an actual specific situation to see how it was applied makes it much more understandable to me. It also made it easier to put myself in their shoes, and to compare situations to my own life (although, I got the impression that Penn’s ADHD, plus Kim’s anxiety and instinct to flee contribute a lot to their fights and luckily we don’t have either of those things in my marriage).

All in all I think there’s at least something for every couple to glean from this book, and even if it’s advice you’ve heard before (like the ‘yes and’ technique, or active listening) it was helpful to see one couple’s experience with applying those things to specific times in their life.

I received this and as an eARC to read for free in exchange for my honest review. Thank you to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson--W Publishing for giving me access.

Let me start off with I love this couple, so when I saw they published a book, it was instant need! (I bought the audio because, this is 1000% better when you listen to it.)

Kim and Penn bare it all about marriage. They don't hold back like most couples do where you believe marriage is a blissful party all the time. The personal stories they shared, I could really relate to and am honestly interested in incorporating some of their 'fighting' techniques into my marriage.

Even if you aren't married, Everybody Fights is still a good book to read for a good laugh, cry, and everything in-between.

I appreciate Penn and Kim’s lighthearted and genuine take on life in this book. I enjoy following them on Facebook and their videos always make me laugh, and this book was no different. A lighthearted read with some good nuggets to take away.

If you're familiar with the hilarious videos produced by Penn and Kim Holderness, you'll see they're surrounded by fun. But in real life, this famous couple is no different than their neighbors. They disagree. They argue. But there's a big difference with their fights. With the help of a Christian counselor, Penn and Kim have learned "how" to fight. Not physical fights, but how to recognize the meaning behind the words. How to look at the causes, and not just the conflicts. They've shared their advice, along with a dash of Holderness humor, in their self-help book that offers insight into how to "fight" with results, not just repercussions.

I really did enjoy the audiobook version of this book and want a physical copy. I think it would be helpful for me to have both as there are parts where they encourage you to jot notes for you to think about or activities for the couple to do.

The audiobook version played more like a podcast and I think that keeps the tone more upbeat and it moves quickly. There are many personal stories that the reader can relate to.

Some of my favorite chapters and or take always were the “secret contracts” and “don’t leave the airport”. These are two aspects I struggle with so they gave me great practical advice.

The Holderness family does not claim to be experts on relationships or communication in this book. They take the lessons they have learned over the years and pass them along to the reader. I appreciated it, I found value where I needed to.

I will say that there is some Christian marketing to this book and there is absolutely nothing Christian about the book. There are a few cuss words and no scripture to be found. Not this this book is bad at all, just wanting to make sure people are aware.

Overall I really enjoyed this book 4.5/5 stars.

𝘍𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦.⁣⁣

When you start out 2021 talking with your spouse about how you can communicate better, you absolutely devour Kim & Penn's first book! Such great stuff, my friends! I was still in the introduction when I told my husband that we needed to read this together. ⁣⁣
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I loved this audio! The authors narrate and their intended meaning definitely came through in each of their voices. They are vulnerable and authentic as they begin each chapter sharing an actual fight they've had. (*𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.) They then follow up with communication strategies they've learned over the years to resolve and de-escalate conflict.⁣⁣
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From 𝘙𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘞𝘢𝘳 to 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴, I learned so much that I'm actually excited to apply not only to my marriage but also my relationships with my kids, family and friends. This book is for absolutely everyone because 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. You will learn something that will make you better. I promise.⁣⁣
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𝐀 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...⁣⁣
𝟏. There is one chapter focused on intimacy but all other chapters are applicable to any type of relationship. ⁣⁣
𝟐. While this is technically classified as Christan non-fiction, other than mentioning church and their pastor a few times, there is nothing overtly faith-based about this book.⁣⁣

I love them and I loved reading this book!!!! Fabulous read and highly recommend!! The way it was written was good and it reminded me of Jana and Mikes book fighting the good fight!

I posted my review of this book on Youtube on April 1, 2021. Here is the link to my full review: https://youtu.be/3xGQ_cIYvbA

I tried to read this book...I really did. I guess I should have read the description before I downloaded it, but I didn't and oh man, was I ever sorry.

I'm sorry, but I wanted this book to be funny and while parts of it were, some parts were so absurd as to be downright farcical. It was a terrible book and I just could not force myself to finish it because it was so terrible.

I’ve loved the Holdnerness family since they burst on the scene with their viral video “Xmas Jammies” in 2013. Since then, their following has grown by leaps and bounds. Their videos and parody songs kept me company during the pandemic, and their content is so genuine and funny. So I was pretty excited when “Everybody Fights” hit the shelves.

Penn and Kim don’t claim to be experts, but they give us a candid peek inside their marriage and the techniques they’ve learned from their pastor that have helped improve their relationship. This is no dry self-help book – this feels like you’re catching up with old friends over a glass of wine. Penn and Kim are honest and their disagreements felt so relatable. I saw myself and my husband in so many of their anecdotes. I can’t wait to put some of these ideas into practice in my own relationship!

The Holderness family are familiar to people on Facebook, because of their song and dance routines. I was delighted to find out they published Everybody Fights. It is specified towards married couples, but several pointers are good for those not married. After all, everybody fights!
There's a saying, "There are three sides to every story. His side. Her side. The truth." Kim and Penn detail some of their fights, who said and did what. Then there are suggestions on how the fight could have had a better outcome. I used some of the pointers while reading the book, and noticed a difference.
Highly recommended.

This is one of the best relationship books that I've read. I don't follow the Holderness family on any social media, but they pop up enough on things people share that I've watched some of their videos. They divide the chapters up by fights they've had and share each side of the story. Most of them are extremely relatable (if my bra is off, I'm home for the night), but the way they share them also brings out the bigger picture. Then, they describe what was going on and what they learned from their marriage coach. Usually, there are blocks of "tips" for using the information and they frequently have sections where they each tell you what they learned and how they used it. As half of a DINK couple, I really liked that the focus of their arguments/learnings was relatable for all couples. The tuning out chapter especially got me - one of my friends and I joke all the time that if we can't get our SO to hear us, we just have the other say his name and they suddenly can hear again. I like how they flat out dismiss that romantic, perfect relationships exist. "In a healthy partnership, it's not so much that your partner completes you as it is that they bring out the whole you and let you be your real self....The ideal mate is more like a lamp shining its warm light on you than a puzzle piece snapping into place."

Everybody Fights by Kim and Penn Holderness is a great starting point if you’re looking to improve communication with your long-term partner. This is not a book for relationships that need major repairs. Kim and Penn Holderness are known for their hilarious parody videos on YouTube and being # couplegoals. I enjoy their videos and the book description piqued my interest as I’m in a similar demographic, being married 10+ years with young kids. They have written this book, part memoir/part self-help, largely with the help of their pastor who has counseled them over the years. (FYI, there is very little reference to God, church, or faith.) Each chapter begins with a fight the couple has had and associated issues, whether it be a toxic style of argument (silent treatment, leaving, personal attack, etc.) and a common topic like division of domestic labor, finances, sex, preference for social outings, etc. They go over what happened, what they learned, how they could do better, and ended with tips on communicating better and reflecting. I found hearing the real-life examples of their fights so helpful and relatable. Throughout the book they encourage the reader to dig deeper into their communication style and treatment of their partner. A lot of the advice is fairly common sense, but so much of it many of us don’t regularly do. Communicating clearly with our partners about our needs and actually listening to them and learning to argue and reflect in effective ways that garner better communication and future improvement. I listened to the audiobook, which I would highly recommend. They have great speaking voices and there are even some added musical numbers!

Thank you Thomas Nelson / W Publishing and NetGalley for providing this ARC.