I couldn't get through this title. It ended up not being for me, but I hope it finds a hope with other readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

I didn’t have time for this book when I was approved. I plan to read it in the future though. Looks informative!

I no longer want my review of this book on Netgalley. I no longer want my review of this book on Netgalley. I no longer want my review of this book on Netgalley.

I thought this book was so informative! It really helped explain so many things, and it had such an open mind to the topic. There was such a wide variety of information, and I loooved that there were first hand stories and knowledge involved in the book. It felt like a guide that wasn’t too hard to read or boring, which was quite nice.

As a whole, it’s informative and would be a very useful tool for anyone wanting to learn more. I absolutely loved the stories from other people and would have liked more. The author’s passion and bi activism really shines through.

It did get rather repetitive. Things are repeated multiple times in one chapter and brought up again later. There was a lot of information thrown at you; I’ve identified as bi for over 20 years (and pansexual for around 5) and I’ve done the research so there wasn’t really any new information for me but I can see how it would be overwhelming and too negative for someone questioning.

It actually felt more like a rant in some sections. I mean there’s a lot that makes me want to rant, especially bi-erasure and biphobia, but that’s not what I was expecting from this ‘bisexual guide to life’.

Unfortunately, there’s a part early on that gave me a bad taste.

“When everyone is accurately educated on bisexual history and what bisexuality really is (and what it is not!), I don’t think there will be any reason for the ‘pansexual’ label to continue.”

Pansexual is not a new term and it is not born from biphobia. A lot of people who identify as pan, myself included, are very aware of the history and what bisexuality is. I think it’s rather rude, hurtful, and unfair to basically call pansexuals uneducated and say their sexuality will go away. It’s funny how a book that addresses bi-erasure is so quick to do it to another sexuality.

“In my mind, the overlap between bi and pan should not be a cause for friction but of celebration;”

Then maybe your shouldn’t have said pan sexuality was created from biphobia and it will eventually go away. Just a thought

I had such high hopes for this but unfortunately I wouldn’t recommend it.

Sadly I didn't really like this book. It wasn't at all what I expected and felt less like a celebration of bisexuality than constant complaining about the hardships that come with identifying as queer. I also really didn't like the way pansexuality was discussed. I refuse to believe that there is no way to talk about bisexuality and biphobia without tearing down people who identify as pansexual. Needless to say, I will not be recommending this book to anyone.

Proof was hard to read on kindle, copy still had a lot of spelling mistakes/typos. I didn’t love the presentation of the topic. It wasn’t what I expected

This book is a really thorough look at the different aspects of what it can mean to be bi+. It covers a range of topics from coming out as bi, bi history and biphobia. One of the things I really enjoyed was that it includes many personal accounts from a wide range of people who identify under this label which really helped to make it feel authentic.

The only issue I had with this book was the discussion around pansexuality that can be harming to those who identify as pansexual and the author should have done more research before deciding that they had a right to discuss this.

Overall, I gave this 3 stars.

DNF- not a guide to life as a bisexual in any way. Reads more like a “this is how hard life is going to be if you identify as bi”. Very dismissive of pansexuality which you wouldn’t expect from someone who is spending their book complain about biphobia. Not for me I’m afraid.

2.5

While it feels like a collection of essays, the bias is very present, and sometimes personal ideas get conflicted with fact, most ideas do feel representative of discussions that are had, and most concepts are transmitted correctly. I can see a questioning youth using this book as a resource. I think the biggest sin is that the author did not approach their ideas of pansexuality in the best way, and it gets confusing and comes across borderline pan-phobic to the reader.

The writing is very reminiscent of articles, which make sense, accounting for the author's background.

I wish the structure was a bit more polished, namely when it comes to the third parties accounts' throughout the book - blocks of text are stylistically different, having small paragraphs taken from different bi+ contributors. However, the connections between the text to these paragraphs and the text again was hard to see, and it could take me out of the reading experience a little bit.

Filled with stats and personal ramblings, which can either be your thing or very much not - i personally love facts and figures.

I really enjoyed reading about the bi+ community, as it was one of the hardest things to grieve when i gave up my bi label.

Didn't love the way that bi+ community was made to be the martyr of martyrs, and in my perspective, there a bit of broader picture missing throughout the book.

I am bi myself, so finding this book was a wonderful moment. However, there were quite a few moments I didn't enjoy. The book features a lot of panphobic messages, which I absolutely do not support. For a book about making people feel included, that gives the complete opposite message.

I was excited to read this book as a bisexual woman who hasn't really had access to a wealth of information or friends in the queer community, and there were certainly aspects I enjoyed; the personal stories and histories of people in the book were often really emotional and uplifting and I felt validated by reading them. However, like many other reviewers, I was quite concerned by the attitude towards pansexuality and ultimately did not finish the book.

This is a book that I wish I had had as a young queer person, just discovering their sexuality.

The author has clearly spent a lot of time on their research because every section is well explained and includes supporting examples and quotations that really increased understanding in the topics that were new to me. I particularly loved the inclusion on the interviews with real bisexuals about what their identity means for them. They were so valuable as bi voices are so often missing from LGBTQ+ Literature and I frequently saw myself reflected in the words on the page.

This is definitely the best and most comprehensive book on bi identity that I have read and I have bought a copy for my fiancé who has just come out as pan because it’s just that good.

Oof, I feel really bad about how this book turned out! The first few pages started off really well, being very empowring and validating about how you don't have to have everything figured out, how you're still bi even if you have a preference, even if you have never been in a relationship, how you're always valid as a bi person in general... and then this went on to throw pansexuality under the bus, and by throwing pansexuality under the bus I mean making some very panphobic and just wrong comments that I really hated seeing! Had to DNF

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an arc of Bi The Way: The Bisexual Guide To Life by Lois Shearing in exchange for an honest review.

After questioning my sexuality for years and finally coming to the conclusion over a year ago that I was in fact Bisexual, and coming out to my friends this year, I was so excited to receive an arc of this and began reading it straight away. However I very soon had to stop. Some parts were informative which was definitely interesting at first. However, I not only found it quite difficult to read, but some of the things that were said were not only upsetting but also damaging to communities, especially the Pansexual community.

I do not agree with the panphobic messages. I know how upsetting biphobic messages can be, so to spread messages of panphobia and pan-erasure was really upsetting and damaging towards the Pansexual community. Pansexuality is not born from biphobia, and spreading views as such eliminates a whole community of people. I didn’t like this at all. From then on it read more and more like a bit of a rant-charged essay and was such a disappointment.

I really hate giving negative reviews, but this really wasn’t what I expected at all. I was expecting “A Bisexual’s Guide To Life” and to feel uplifted about my own bisexuality, but it felt like just a very negative space in general. As I said I don’t like giving negative reviews, but I really cannot stand by the panphobia presented in this book and not say anything. I feel like Bisexuality is often erased or warped into something that many people who are Bisexual do not identify it as, so to see a book that is supposed to focus on bisexuality and mentions these struggles, do the same thing to the Pansexual community is just not it.

Bi The Way was described as “your essential guide to understanding and embracing bisexuality” but I was left feeling so negative. At first I was like wow I feel SEEN. I’ve not felt seen like this before. Then whoops, no, it all went downhill. It left such a sour taste in my mouth.

Pansexuality is not an identity born out of biphobia, and presenting such views is very damaging.

Bi the Way: The Bisexual Guide to Life is a book that from the blurb and the intro shows so much promise. But it falls incredibly flat. It's not a guide but more a personal essay from the author on the hardships and injustices that the bi community have faced. Which would be fine if the author didn't invalidate other members of the lGBTQ+ community. The invalidation and disregard for others make this a read that will be hard to stomach for some and many will struggle to finish it, which is a shame. As the author makes some interesting points and some of the personal stories from the community in it are interesting and eye opening.

Bi the Way
The Bisexual Guide to Life
by Lois Shearing
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
LGBTQIA | OwnVoices | Teens & YA
Pub Date 21 Jun 2021
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4103310154

Bi the Way is pitched to readers as "your essential guide to understanding and embracing bisexuality." The blurb gives the feeling of openness, understanding and acceptance.

Unfortunately I decided to DNF (Did not finish) this book. I was hopeful when I started as I was blown away by the Introduction but the book dived from there.

There were things I enjoyed about the book, the boxes that held personal experiences from other people were really emotional. The authors rants were not.

Yes I understand that the author has a right to rant but with one hand they were damning Bi erasure and with the other they undermined the Pan-sexual members of the community.

When they were talking of the injustices facing the Bi community I could feel myself becoming out ragged but a few lines later they would basically denied the need for the term Pan-sexual and then try to include the group later as to not be divisive. The author swung from inclusive to erasure.

As someone who identifies as Pan this was infuriating, I just wished they had chosen a view. Suddenly the fact that anyone like me is attracted to more than two genders is irrelevant. If that approach was given to sexuality in general there would be no LGBT+

I did learn some new information from the book that I hadn't known before. However after fifty or so pages I had enough of Shearing's hot footing it on and off support for Pan-sexual's and DNF''ed the book.

The imaginative cover and intriguing blurb were not enough to save the book for me. Perhaps if it had been more of other peoples experiences and information on the history of the Bi community and less of Shearing;s personal opinions I might have finished it. As it was though I was finding some parts interesting I struggled to want to read it.

I would suggest that only those who consider themselves Bi read this book. If I wanted to be told I am not what I think I am I would hang out with homophobic relatives.

Archived right after I was approved, so I didn't get to read it. Judging from the other reviews, I'm glad I didn't read it.

Finally DNFing this nightmare at 60%. The writing is like I’m reading a middle schooler’s essay. More than half the book is quoting other people’s work. Not a “guide” to being bisexual at all, just reminders how bi people have and will always be oppressed. Lots of language seeming to bash lesbians & pansexuals. I will steer my queer & ally friends away from this for sure.

I had the pleasure of speaking to the author Lois Shearing for a radio project and in preparation, I read this book. As a lesbian who has had a couple of relationships with men and am not shy in talking about it, I thought I was completely cool when it came to understanding all things bi. How wrong I was! This book helped me unpack my misconceptions, explaining that bi people don't have to be exactly 50% attracted to males and 50% to females (sorry to sound like Martin Goodman from Friday Night Dinner), and not least because that idea enforces a gender binary I don't actually believe in! I found the history of bisexuality chapter most interesting, particularly Lois's reminders that so much of it is told by white, middle-class males, but she also manages to uncover some interesting tales of activists at the forefront of US Pride movements, who were bi and had to deal with having their sexuality erased or dismissed while suffering from some of the same issues as their gay brethren (death from HIV/AIDS for example). If you can keep an open mind, this is a rewarding and generous-spirited read.