How can you an author talk about biphobia then lead in with some panphobia? I have rated this as a 2 star although normally I wouldn’t rate as it’s the authors own view please anyone who is bisexual out there get read more own voices!

This was a good read. Nothing spectacular, but I think that’s simply due to my positionality, being bi and relatively knowledgeable around the whole thing. So for me. I didn’t really get anything new out of it. I do think this would be amazing for people that are questioning, or would just like to learn more about the LGBT+ community!

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an ARC of this book--a great Pride Month read! This book was really good and I learned a lot. It was just a bit more academic & dry than I expected based on title, marketing etc. (Bi The Way sounds like a fun read!). Still, I would read again and recommend to many friends.

**Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for providing an e-arc of this book**

When I saw this book listed on Netgalley I was so excited. As a Bi person, I thought this would be a fun "guide to life" but in actuality, it's a mixture of a history lesson (which is interesting), a guide to activism (which also pretty dope), and then just an info dump based on the author's own experiences.

One particular thing that struck out to me was Shearing's dismissal of Pansexuality. It seems she classes it as 'woke' bisexuality created to make us bi people feel bad because we're not as inclusive and you know what I get where she's coming from because a few years ago I kinda felt that way too but through discussion with Pan people and looking into the history of the label it became clear that it's a separate VALID identity and it's not us to us Bi people to tell anyone their identity is invalid. Someone with so much lived experience in the community and who clearly spent a bunch of time researching for this book would be able to discern that difference and should be able to at the very least acknowledge the validity of other people's chosen identifiers.

To be completely honest I ended up skimming most of the book and struggling to finish it which is no fun. I wish this was an actual guide to being Bi/bisexual identity but it leaves a lot to be desired.

DNF’d at 7%

The line “Some people use pansexual instead of bisexual because they erroneously believe that ‘bisexual’ refers to attraction to men and women (sometimes people go as far as to say that bisexual people are only attracted to cis men and women; this is deeply transphobic as it implies that trans men/women are not ‘real’ (men/women).” Was enough to make me drop this book faster than a hot potato.

The authors toxic views in this line are very evident and I do not want to read a book where someone is pushing their own views and agendas on the reader.

I was super excited to start this book, and was ecstatic to see my ARC request had been approved. After starting this book I realized it was nowhere close to the type of book I was expecting. I expected a more fun coming to age story of real bisexuals and getting to hear their stories. While the book did share some quotes and passages from bisexuals it felt more like a research paper than a book. Right off the bat this book was just shoving fact after fact down my throat. I don't know who decided to put this in the teen section but as a bisexual teen I can confidently tell you its not gonna interest to many young adults. I love that the author is trying to help share their experience to help out many bisexuals and that is so admirable, but I think that the format of this book is not going to make your readers want to keep turning the pages. I do however think that this book would make a great educational tool for schools or to help students with papers, I just wasn't able to find much entertainment value from it. Overall I would give it a 2.5/5 because well it was not my normal book there was certain parts I found interesting and I do think I learned something. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they are very very very interested in every detail behind being a bisexual and what comes with that.

I think this book is wrongly categorized as being for teens. As a teen librarian, I was excited to see this title, but upon reading it, it is way too heavy and academic for the average teen. It's not a bad book, it's very informative and important but I will not be purchasing it for the teen collection (I will, however, recommend it for the adult collection).

I, unfortunately, ended up DNF-ing this. I found that included a lot more personal stories from the author herself, among other activists, than any type of guide for the reader. While this is not a bad thing, it is just not what I prefer or was looking for. And while it did have a lot of good information, I found some of it worded confusingly as well as hard to point out when it is shoved in the middle of an anecdote/story.

Trigger Warnings: contextual references to biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, rape, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, self-harm, suicide, and drug abuse.

Bi the Way: The Bisexual Guide to Life by Lois Shearing is a non-fiction book that explores bisexuality including its history; biphobia and bi-erasure; finding the bi community; and understanding what bisexuality is in the first place.

Split over ten chapters (and with ample resources at the end) Bi the Way is the only book you’ll need to begin understanding bisexuality. Every chapter title is a question and these begin with the ones anyone questioning their sexuality is likely to have at the front of their mind: “Am I Bi?” and “What If I Have a Preference?” These chapters explore the fluid nature of bisexuality and look at it in comparison with other broad sexualities such as pansexuality. The book then moves on to explore whether bisexuality reinforces the gender binary (it doesn’t), the choice of whether or not you should come out, and what dating is like for bisexuals.

The second half of the book looks at the history of bisexuality and the issues faced by bisexuals then and today. The chapter on history was especially eye-opening as it showed how bisexuals have always been around and also heavily involved in the gay rights movement despite a popular narrative that shows us as riding in on the coattails of gay men and lesbians “without actually being a part of the fight.” The concepts of biphobia and bi-erasure are explored in detail before an in-depth look at the issues faced by bisexuals today that include vastly increased rates of mental illness, homelessness, domestic abuse, and self-harm over any other group. These high rates are even worse for bisexuals who are marginalized in other ways including those who are disabled, transgender, and bisexuals of color. The book ends on a positive note, however, with a look at bi communities around the world and the work they are doing—despite extra hardships—to help bisexuals in every part of the world.

Bi the Way is a well-researched book filled with the voices of dozens of people who identify as bisexual, although, as the author notes, there is a very strong Western bias to the experiences shared here. There are, naturally, many sections that are hard to read including those that detail the increased risks faced by the bisexual community and many of the anecdotes that have been included, but these are outweighed by the positive experiences shared across dozens of stories about finding an accepting community and becoming comfortable with who you really are.

I would thoroughly recommend this book to anyone questioning their own feelings and wondering if they may be bisexual themselves, and also to friends and family of anyone who has recently come out as bisexual as it will help them to understand much more about what it means and how to support their loved one.

GeekMom received a copy of this book for review purposes.

I DNF'd around 50% through, not because the book was terrible, but because it was all things I already knew. I think this book would be great for family members or friends of queer people looking to educate themselves and support their loved ones. But for actual queer people, I don't know how helpful this "guide" actually would be.

It was more of a series of anecdotes and analyses than a "guide." Nothing wrong with that at all, anecdotes and analyses are great! But the title made me think that this would be a humorous and relatable book for bi people to commiserate haha which it wasn't.

There was one part that really resonated for me where I think it was either the author or someone they had interviewed who said that the word "bisexual" made them feel dirty. For me, that really hit close to home and I appreciate that it was included.

The author does explicitly state their privileges at the beginning of the book. However, as a brown person, there were a lot of times when I wished the book was less eurocentric. Once again, the author did explicitly state that she's white at the beginning of the book. But I think that did create this sort of gap for me where I felt like I couldn't connect with the book as much because the author isn't familiar with my own cultural struggles and the intersectionalities between being bi and a colored person.

I would've loved to see more perspectives from people who are POC or immigrants and struggle with the issues they face with bisexuality in the western world and the struggles they face as bisexual in their own culture.

I guess I'm just saying that I didn't feel seen by this book.

To be honest, the bulk of the useful information in the book can be found in the introduction. For people who are struggling to understand different labels, I think that part could be super helpful.

Once again, this book is not terrible by any means. If you're someone who had a loved one recently come out as bi and want to understand more, this could be a good resource! But if you're a queer person looking for a funny "guide" I don't think this is exactly where you're gonna find that.

Thanks NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for a thoughtful and honest review!

This is a well researched and nearly comprehensive title on what it means to be bisexual, the history and stigmas against the bisexual community, and the kinds if overlap that can happen with other sexualities, romantic preferences, and gender identity. Shearing has gifted us with a book that can be given to our children as they discover their sexuality as well as parents or friends when we are explaining ours. I haven't felt so seen--in a good way--by a book in a long time. If the publishing house were to also present us with similar titles for gender identity and Asexual/Aromantic people I would be a strong advocate for them based on this book.

As a sex and relationships educator I al always looking for more books about gender and sexuality and particularly as a bisexual person myself I was intrigued to read this book. I think it offers an new perspective of the Bi+ community and thoroughly enjoyed reading the more personal stories and experiences. Whilst this book is much better than most of the previous explorations of bisexual in non fiction i have read I did however disagree with the way it explored Pansexuality.

Thanks to netgalley for the eARC of this book

I got about half way thru and I had to stop. This seemed more political when it came to sexuality which turned me off. I do love that they are trying to get their point across on the subject of Bisexuality. But this isnt the book for me. maybe I will pick it up in a couple years in a physical copy and give it another shot. but for now this was a hard DNF for me.

Thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for the free e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Bi the Way by Lois Shearing is an examination of bisexuality: what it means, historical information about bisexuality and bisexual people, different facets of bisexual identity (including overlapping identities), and the daily lives of bisexual people.

I related to a lot of passages in this book, as someone who has dealt with biphobia from all sorts of people. I can only hope that someday we won't have so much to talk about when we discuss the issues facing bisexual people today. This is a somewhat dry book when it gets into the nitty gritty research, but the personal anecdotes definitely helped to keep it interesting.

I disagree with a reviewer who said that Shearing was blaming other people for all the problems that bisexual people face. Shearing presented their arguments with facts and research, and they made sure to focus on the positives of bisexuality too. The joy that comes from being with other bisexual people, the wonder of finding your identities, and so on.

I wish I could've had this book when I was younger and just figuring out my identity. It could've helped me better understand how to explain my identity to others and to process the many instances of biphobia I've faced since then.

The author states very early on that Pansexuality is a result of Biphobia, and that Pansexuality is not real/is only a byproduct of Bisexual people hating bisexuality. While I enjoyed reading about bisexual history as a bisexual who has never learned bisexual history due to lack of media coverage, this and other oddities completely took me out of the book. For claiming to be open minded... the author wasn't.

I wanted to like this book because I want more representation of Bi culture. Let this be a review that stresses that while also noting the shortcomings of this book on an individual level.
There is no hook. I was not inspired to keep reading, and although the author ties their personal information into the pages of this book, there was little emotion shown through their work. This book is heavy on definitions, and gloomier than I would like. I want to feel something when I'm reading, and not necessarily positive emotions, but something that draws my empathy and connects me.
The marketing strategy feels a little off - it doesn't seem to hold information necessary to your day to day. Rather, it provides some information that you may or may not need, and opinion that you may or may not connect with. Unfortunately, this was not a style I enjoyed, and therefore I cannot recommend this book.

I had mixed feelings about this one! It's one of my most anticipated reads of the year, and there was a lot that really did love up to expectations for me - I particularly love the passion with which Shearing discusses bisexuality. As it's an identity which is doubly stigmatised both within and without the LGBTQ+ community, it was really refreshing to read someone write about it in an obviously fond and non-judgemental way. Having said that, I was disappointed to see that Shearing does often transfer this judgement onto other identities; the way pansexuality is discussed (or, in this case, entirely invalidated) was really unfortunate. I don't think anything is gained by erasing other identities in order to bolster your own. This is one of the biggest issues within the queer community today, in my experience, and as bi people are so often on the receiving end of it, I was disappointed to see it being dished out on our behalf in this one.

I would still recommend this one, but I really do think that the publisher, who have published such great, inclusive work in the past (and are my absolute favourite publishing house accordingly - I think I own nearly their entire catalogue!) should consider whether these particular paragraphs and chapters best serve their ethos.

Bi The Way is a very informative and thorough book that goes into the many aspects of being Bisexual.

As someone who has identified as Bisexual for three decades, I had been open to learning from other testaments, the personal experience of those who have possibly recently come out or like myself, lived a long time etcetera. Whilst this does occur it is brief andrhe stories repetitive, and instead there is often more rants rather than education.

I also began to feel uncomfortable that the author whilst bringing up other aspects of sexuality including being Pansexual. Shearing becomes dismissive of the term and that time and education will lead to the disappearance of that identity. It is that dismissal that has led to such things as Biphobia and abuse for others.

Whilst Bi The Way could have been informative and helpful for many it became overly focused on the author's personal experience and bias towards how they have felt themselves treated. I was extremely disappointed if I am honest of the dismissal of others who identify as LGBTIAP+.

This is a really interesting non fiction on all things bisexual! As a bisexual woman married to a man I often feel the heavy hand of bi erasure and this book was fascinating to me!

An easy to understand and comprehensive guide to all things Bi. A much appreciated book for those wondering about this community. A much appreciated read!