Oh, I hate to write this review as I really like the author and can tell that he's a kind and knowledgeable man. The problem is that he's in his late 70's and his advice is just not current and will be of questionable use to most modern parents. He refers to teens and preteens throughout the book as "youngsters" and says things like most teens have a vague idea of what pornography is. Sigh. I'm sure he is/was a fantastic father, grandfather, counselor, teacher, principal and I think his biography said he was a guardian ad litem as well. But these are such different times and our parenting styles have also evolved. He believes parents should be in control of most of their preteen and teen children's lives, while gradually releasing control. He says things like teens may like the idea of dyeing their hair a colorful color but most parents would not allow it. Why on earth not? It's a temporary way to express their identities in a very benign, fun way. He talks about divorce rates these days and gives the reasons for divorce as mainly things like getting bored. He gives an example parenting scenario about a teen who resists turning off her TV program at her bedtime of 9:30 (!!!!) and gives us some understanding of why she might be reluctant and how her mother could nicely get her to cooperate. He says something about how most teens communicate through email these days and I laughed out loud because email is considered way too old fashioned for most of the teens I know.

I do appreciate his heart and the basics of much of his advice. He says parents should not physically discipline teens and preteens, which I agree with and appreciate. He encourages lots of talks. He does seem to care. But his examples of how to communicate (including a copy of a letter he wrote his son when he left for college) seem so formal and old fashioned, and he just is so far removed from what modern parents of teens and preteens experience. He gives a couple of sentences to gender identity and LGBTQ issues and is generally supportive, but that could easily be a whole chapter for modern parents. He talks about bullying and cyberbullying but I don't think he understands what most modern cyberbullying even is -- again, referring mostly to outdated versions. The section on sex is short and without concrete information. There is no information about mental health issues like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, etc. The end of the book congratulates the parent as the child is now 18 and either in college or working but out of the house and in a more removed relationship with parents. Everything will supposedly have sort of magically come through with the 18 year-old fully mature and finished (the roller coaster analogy that takes us through the book is completed and the ride is basically over).

The book is also brief, reading almost like the cliff notes of a long lecture. It wasn't something that I ultimately felt was helpful with my own "youngsters" and I can't relate to using this kind of parenting with the two who are in their early twenties. Looking back I think I did plenty of things wrong, but none that were in this book. With my three still at home, I am very happy with how everything is going and I really admire the kids they are. We got there through a pretty different parenting style than this, though we agree on the basics like unconditional love.

I'm not sure who to recommend this book to except perhaps very conservative, traditional parents who have not read any other parenting books or magazines. While it was written by an "expert," it really would have been the perfect book for a much earlier time. That said, others may find it helpful.

I read a digital ARC of this book for review.