¡Hola Pali! is a memoir/collection of essays. Each chapter starts with a question from a reader, and then the author spends the chapter telling a story from his life that relates back to that question and provides advice and validation.

I was drawn to this book because I follow JP Brammer on Twitter (no idea when I followed him or how I found him) and his takes always make me laugh or think to myself “yes, huge same.” I just finished reading a heavy series before this one, so I thought to myself, “this will be perfect!! A light, funny read from this funny guy I follow on Twitter who tweets about eating pine cones!!”

First and foremost, that was truly an incorrect assumption on my part — while this book does read like you’re talking to/listening to a friend, or someone you’re familiar with and love, it’s definitely heavy. It contains chapters about suicidal ideation, mental health struggles, sexual assault, heavy bullying, losing/finding identity, and homophobia (both internalized and external). A lot of those chapters are, obviously, tough to read because they’re about sensitive subjects and they’re coming from someone’s real, lived experiences. That being said, JP Brammer speaks on these topics very candidly and the way he’s so open makes you feel so seen and validated while you’re reading. His experiences and they way he reflects on them are so universal and validating, even if you haven’t lived them exactly like he has.

I would recommend this book for anyone looking to read about love, identity, purpose, self forgiveness, navigating feelings of otherness, being a millennial, and trying to figure out who you are and what you’re doing here (from someone who is also trying to figure all this out too, and who doesn’t have all the answers, but he’s willing to share what he’s learned along the way).

I’ll leave this review with a quote that doesn’t really encompass the true depth of this book, but one that simply made me laugh:

“I sipped my midday mimosa and refocused on the penis before me. Oh god, I thought. My abuela picked fruit in this country for me to become this.”

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster. I received an advanced copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.

Where to start with this wonderful breath of fresh air? I found myself wanting to savor John Paul’s writing as he describes growing up, coming out, and finding himself. At the same time, I wanted to rip through this book because I kept wanting more. I couldn’t put it down. I found myself in tears several times, laughing at the way John Paul wrote about pivotal moments. One passage that stood out was a high school JP meeting Corey, who attempted to get him to join his “Christian youth cult.” I couldn’t help but think of some similar moments from my high school years, even down to being lured in with promises of free pizza and skateboarding.

There were other moments in the book where I did not laugh, but I instead felt sadness for John Paul. Sadness for his heartbreak or his loss. Pain for his aloneness. I appreciate that he relates to his letter writers and shares his stories. I hope to read more from him in the future.

¡Hola Papi! is everything. Wise, warm, clever, heartbreaking, heartwarming, an intricately woven account of the absurdities and profundities of life, etc. John Paul Brammer’s writing is (as always) a balm. Definitely going to be a favorite of mine this year!

This was a warm, often funny, but heartfelt collection of essays. At times I found the structure a bit repetitive--a question, a story from Brammer's life, a conclusion--but I still sped through it and enjoyed every minute. Brammer's voice is so easygoing, even when he's talking about serious stuff. It's a nice blend of humor and wisdom.

In a year full of disappointments, you can be sure that JP Brammer's Hola Papi!, is not one of them. This book is everything: heartbreaking, funny, real, witty, and so much more. Brammer, best known for his syndicated advice column of the same name, offers a similar concept of advice-giving, but through his own life stories. The setup is perfect, told in "Dear Reader" format without being cliche or cheesy, and it's refreshingly honest. He shares his life as a member of the LGBTQA+ community, a Mexican-American, and someone who has spent much of his life in search of answers, happiness, and truth. The writing is beautiful and tangible, placing you alongside Brammer as he shares moments from his childhood in Oklahoma to New York City. Every chapter is a conversation that you will want to be a part of, taking you outside your comfort zone at times to challenge or understand everything from mental health, family ties, and heritage, to sexuality. It is a privilege to be privy to the many private thoughts and moments that Brammer shares in his own unique way, and to get glimpses into the life of someone who has seen success and failure (and is willing to share both!) Hola Papi! and Brammer are deserving of all the accolades, and I hope that this is not the last book Brammer plans to publish! Thank you to Simon and Schuster for the advanced copy- I am certain that this won't be the last time I read this book and I can't wait to get my own copy when it comes out.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review!

I was *thrilled* to receive an ARC of this book. I love JP, and Hola Papi is the only newsletter I actually read. If you've read and enjoyed the column or anything he's written, you'll enjoy this book. It is Hola Papi--turned up a few notches, but with the same humor and heartbreak. I was honored by how much of himself JP was willing to share with us, though it did lead to a lot of content warnings (see below). It's witty and uncomfortable and engaging and validating and I'm just really glad that this book exists in the world.

TW: Bullying, homophobia, homophobic slurs, internalized homophobia, depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm, HP reference, eating disorder, sexual assault

John Paul Brammer's memoir is sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, and very relatable even as someone who isn't a member of the LBGT+ community. These are stories from his life written in short 'advice column' style letter answers. He examines his life, and his failures, and reflects on them, but in a way that allows the reader to peek in and see that "hey, nobody is perfect, and we can all learn something from our past". This was a quick read that allows a brief glimpse into the insecurities, trials, and what its like to grow up not really knowing who you are, and how it can shape you long after you leave your formative years behind.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

Trigger / Content Warning: discussions of suicide, hate speech, sexual assault (I'm sure I'm missing others)

I've been a fan of John Paul Brammer through Twitter and not surprised the book reads like his voice.

I like how it started with an introduction of how he started since I wasn't aware of it.

I identified with him *way* too much about a White dad and Mexican mom and that disconnect from your Mexican side.

Thank you for sharing this title with me! I included it in a roundup of must-read LGBTQ+ books coming out in 2021 for Cosmopolitan.com https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/books/g35283160/lgbtq-books-2021/

Thank you netgalley for this ARC!

I really enjoyed this book it was a quick read and it was really entertaining it touches down on stuff that alot of LGBT people go through growing up finding themselves etc. And sometimes while reading i related too alot of the stuff i was reading. Like when drag race was mentioned because when i was 17 that show helped me accept myself more and seeing people like me on national TV etc.

I didnt know john until i read this book but i am glad i read this book because i love a good memoir/self help book. Just reading about people and how they grew up or went through etc.

John had some really great stories to read about and also touched down on alot of stuff in the LGBT that people sometimes dont like to hear about regarding needing someone for validation from gay apps etc which isnt a bad THING but it could become a bad thing depending on the person and what it can do to your mental health.

Overall this book was great!

Outstanding and overtly honest and uncomfortable in a way you don’t see in common LGBT+ media/literature. It doesn’t glorify stereotypes, nor does it stray from them in an effort to be “different.” I’m thrilled to see more LGBT+ authors being published, and even more settled knowing he is Mexican.

I think I have more to say, but I’m still reflecting on it.

I really enjoyed JP Brammer's essay collection based on his popular advice column Hola Papi. Brammer's essays are witty, sharp, and down to earth. I flew through this book and would definitely recommend!

TW: homophobia, bullying, suicidal ideation

Thank you to Simon & Schuster, the author and NetGalley for providing a copy for review!

I flew through this funny and honest book. It had the tenderness of Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugars mixed with the awkward sexual discovery of Sex Education and stirred with the funny snark of Samantha Irby,

The author is a popular online advice columnist. The book is structured with advice seekers’ questions and Brammer’s response, an experience from Brammer’s own life where he faced the same dilemma.

This book reminds readers of the power we each have to write our own stories. We each grow through awkward and painful experiences. A funny and easy read, this book feels like a warm, snarky hug.

As someone who is afflicted with “being gay on the internet,” JP Brammer has always been a light. His advice column, “Hola Papi,” injected his personality into genuinely moving answers to questions about the gay experience, and helped him develop a devoted internet following.

In his debut essay collection, Brammer borrows the setup of his column to structure the book, recounting his childhood experience with bullying, tentative first loves, millennial ennui, and his experience in online media while blogging at a number of publications (some now defunct.)

What comes through in each section is his warmth, sense of humor, as well as profound empathy for those he has encountered in his life. Brammer’s tales provided much-needed comfort during this dark era. Anyone familiar with his work will love this collection, and those who aren’t will have the pleasure of discovering the best person on the internet for the first time. This has my highest recommendation.

“I’m no one at all, except for my experiences. I am the things I’ve seen and the things I’ve felt. I am the people I’ve met.”

From the author of the the popular queer advice column “Hola Papi” comes this captivating series of personal essays of the same name. JP Brammer delves into questions with chapters titled everything from “How to dress yourself in silks and linens” to “How to be a real Mexican.” Brammer tackles difficult subjects of bullying, homophobia, identity, and culture using his experiences growing up in America’s heartland and working in cities such as DC and NYC. His sharp and witty voice make this an important and engaging book to read from the author’s note onward. ⁣

TW: homophobia, bullying, suicidal ideation

Thank you, JP, for sharing your stories and advice with us. Thank you for being an advocate and a mentor. And thank you, Simon and Schuster and NetGalley, for the opportunity to read and review this advanced copy!