Working in education, I know that what Blythe Grossberg writes is true. No, I don't teach in the type of neighborhood that she works in, my solid mid-to upper class kids and their parents have experiences like she describes. The story is told with not a lot of passion, but yet Grossberg's "love" for her students shine through. She doesn't talk a lot about her teaching job (mostly the book is about her tutoring kids), but I'm sure she is a wonderful teacher and she carries that over to the kids she works with after school. I think every pushy parent should read this book, because she is right on point about what all the "encouragement" produces in their kids.

I think we all love a peek behind the curtain of the uber wealthy, especially if that peek shows that their lives are not as perfect as they look.. Grossberg writes with empathy and tenderness for her students whose parents push them to extreme limits in order to secure their place in top tier schools.

A fascinating look at the lives of the children of New York Society's 1% and the high achieving culture that pushes teens to perform. Blythe Grossberg shares her personal insights tutoring these teens for over 15 years and observing the amount of pressure that gets placed on earning top marks, getting into prestigious colleges all at the expense of any leisure time (so many of these teens are overscheduled and overworked) and often resulting in severe mental health problems and/or alcohol and drug abuse. Highly insightful and empathetic, I really enjoyed this insider look at a culture that is increasingly spreading to mainstream youth. I also appreciated the contrast between Blythe's more middle class lifestyle and absurd expectations many of the parents had for her role educating their children. It was also nice to hear from a working mother of a child on the autism spectrum and how she learned early on that there is nothing to be gained from trying to compare or push your child against their peers. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my advance review copy.

Eye-opening and relevant

So much to talk about. This book shows that problems aren't wiped away because you have the means to purchase material things. Having the best of everything and at your finger tips doesn't exclude you from pressure from peers and parents. The book showed that anxiety and the pressure to measure up has no financial status attached to it. Poor or rich we all can be struggling mentally and emotionally. Coping with the pressure to be your best at such a high level was very difficult for parents and children alike.

I recommend. I apologize for scrambled thoughts.

This book was just so fragmented I couldn't finish. I felt like the author was all over the place with no structure at all. She would bounce between points and then back again. I did find some of the information really interesting and wanted to know more. But the lack of organization really got to me. Thanks netgalley for the advance copy.

When I was just starting school, I took a placement test and my parents were granted the opportunity of having me skip a grade and attend private school on a scholarship. I can't imagine what a strange life I would've had if they had accepted that offer. As a working-class adult, I still revisit this notion from time to time and think about whether or not I would even enjoy that alternate path in life. The world of the extremely wealthy has long fascinated me; reading nonfiction about them gives me the same feeling that I imagine I would get if I had rifled through their medicine cabinets. Blythe Grossberg's intimate look into their world is a good-enough substitute to satisfy my nosiness.

While I most benefited from the narrative aspect of the memoir, there are many important statistics that will encourage readers to examine their biases about both the moneyed class and the have-nots. Through a great deal of research, she effectively dispels stereotypes that are of completely unknown origin but are secretly harmful; we learn that wealthy families are the most likely to have more children, and that substance use, disordered eating habits, and struggles with insecurity have never discriminated and affect children across all class statuses.

Grossberg's anecdotes also give us an unfortunately grim look into the relationships that these parents have with their children, which often feel cold, distant, and transactional. Much of the actual one-on-one time that the kids get with their parents is spent reviewing academic plans, which start as early as the kids are born and of which the sense of urgency never relents, from K-12 and beyond. Preoccupied with getting their kids to the Ivy Leagues, the parents often overlook their own children's agency and maintain a take-no-prisoners approach to getting what they want. Grossberg often reflects upon her own role as a mother throughout the book, observing how dramatically different the parents and her students are from her and her son.

Largely due to her history in teaching as well as her role as a parent of a neurodivergent child, Grossberg has a valuable and broad skillset for understanding and creating gameplans for students of every ability. She writes with such careful, empathetic regard for the children she teaches, a gift that isn't often granted to them by even their own parents. At the end of the book, there is also a thorough and and sincere look into the kids' futures, citing where they are now and always wishing only the best for them. The result of this combo of anecdotes and statistics is this healthy balance of memoir and scientific journal, which I truly enjoyed reading.

While I have mostly praise for this title, I did notice a great deal of repetition, particularly when Grossberg revisits the topic of peak experiences and how they prevent kids from looking forward to anything in life. One does not simply forget the words 'axiomatic' and 'insouciant', which were mentioned three and five times throughout the book, respectively. There was also a great deal of referring back and forth to The Great Gatsby and As I Lay Dying, although a reader's unfamiliarity with the titles shouldn't prevent them from understanding the text. Since this was a galley copy, it is also likely that the repetitive parts were reviewed and excluded from the final publication.

Let’s just say, I am glad I didn’t grow up in a New York City Park Avenue family and this memoir gives me more evidence. Blythe Grossberg, a learning specialist, tutors the children of the 1%. Attending private schools, these children must excel not only in academics but often in some sport as well, ensuring from lower school on up that they will be admitted to a top-tier school. Private schools have no tolerance for learning differences. Working with ADHD and dyslexic children, she must tutor them to meet the rigorous academic standards of their schools. In this job, she must compete against heavy sports schedules as well. Kids are exhausted. There were times when parents told her because of the child’s schedule, academic tutoring may not take place until 11pm. Along the way she continually shows the different lifestyle of these kids. One boy, lives in a hotel room by himself, while his parent travel extensively. Another tries to buy a $2.00 bagel with his Gold Amex card. Throughout this, images from The Great Gatsby are interspersed and how the ultra-wealthy relate differently to it than the majority of Americans.

Grossberg writes a very revealing book about affluent students she tutored over a 20 year period in Manahttan. I felt so much empathy for the students she discusses. They were over scheduled, led a much too structured life, and felt nothing but endless pressure to get the best grade and get into an Ivy League school. As I read, I just kept shaking my head at what I was reading. The parents who blame everyone else for a B grade, students who have no common sense and who don't read but expect to pass comprehensive exams with flying colors. It really is a depressing reality. Hats off the the author for being a tutor to these high strung students. This world is so different from my life and how I was reared, and for that I remain grateful. It's an enlightening read.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advanced review copy.

I wasn't expecting this to be as compelling as it was. I figured it would just be a bunch of gossip about rich people--(I watch RHONY, I know who vacations in the Hamptons.) And yes, it has a bit of a gossip-y tone, but that enhances what is at it's heart a story about the students that Grossberg tutors and the lengths parents will go to ensure their children's success (measured in academic standing, prestigious school attendance, followed by the Ivy League and, presumably, a high-powered career and wealth). But we also see the students for who they really are--kids. Kids who are smart, but unmotivated. Students with anxiety. Students with learning differences. Students who have their parents advocate for their needs. Parents who rely on expensive tutors and donations to keep their students enrolled. This was a fascinating read--one which would appeal to educators or viewers of shows like Real Housewives of New York.

This book was an interesting peek into a world I won't ever know and an interesting perspective from someone who was intimately connected, but not a member of it.

Read if you: Enjoy books like Bobos in Paradise and other studies of the 1%.

However, this is not a gossipy look at Manhattan's elite and their children. Grossberg sincerely cares/worries about her tutoring charges and their futures.

Although at times I did have (very!) limited patience for these families, I did empathize with the fact that many of these children are overscheduled, overindulged, and under-prepared for reality after high school.

Many thanks to Harlequin and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review.