This dark academia book is everything I’ve been looking for since reading The Secret History.

Six friends return to their university for their ten year college reunion. They used to be known as the East House Seven until one of them was brutally murdered. Before the murder, they were inseparable. Now they barely know each other.

Jessica Miller has always been ambitious and she returns to Duquette University determined to amaze everyone with her success. She’s got the perfect job, perfect looks, perfect everything, and she’s sure everyone will be awed by her perfectness. She’s put her life back together since her best friend, Heather was murdered and Jack, one of the East House Seven was accused of murdering her. The cops couldn’t find enough evidence to prove he killed her, so charges were eventually dropped.

But not everyone has moved on from the murder, someone has been compiling evidence long after the police have given up on the case. And they plan to force a confession from the killer and to reveal everyone’s secrets.

This dark campus tale is told in dual timelines and is taut as a bowstring. It really delves deep into how far one would go to achieve everything they ever wanted. Ashley Winstead excellently shows the dark side of ambition, obsession and love. The characters were so well-developed, their heart’s desires and flaws were exceptionally told.

I wanted to reread this book as soon as I finished. That feeling almost never happens these days. I could not put this book down and resented when I had to; this book is that good. And that ending! Wow! For a second I wasn’t sure if it made me love or hate the book. I decided I loved it. Obviously.

I think I saw that the author has another book coming out next year. I can’t wait to read that one.

Thanks to Netgalley and HarperCollins Canada for the digital arc in exchange for my honest opinions.

A fantastically addictive thriller focusing on a group of friends brought back together by a college reunion, “In My Dreams I Hold A Knife” is a well-paced page turner that is a must-have for readers in the summer of 2021.

Told with dual timelines, this twisty book takes a dark look at friendship, love, obsession and ambition. Characters are engaging and the campus setting offers a true sense of nostalgia for those of us who carry our college or university days in the past.

Some may find the first 20 or 30 pages a little slow but shortly after readers will be propelled into a story that grabs their attention and does not let go until the very last page.

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the advanced readers copy.

Six friends attend their ten year college reunion, and are made to confront the truth behind a tragedy they'd all tried to leave behind. In college, a seventh friend, Heather, was murdered, and her boyfriend Jack was the prime suspect and immediately ostracized by his friends. But Jack was never convicted, and at the reunion, Heather's younger brother Eric confronts the group, proclaims Jack's innocence, and announces that the real murderer is among them.

In My Dreams I Hold A Knife is a good campus thriller. The story switches in time between the present-day reunion and the characters' college years, and as the events leading up to Heather's murder unfold, many secrets -- and possible motives -- are also revealed. I didn't guess the murderer's identity, nor did I guess their motivation, and the ending has the kind of ambiguous happiness that leaves the reader wondering if justice has been achieved.


I think I would have been a lot more captivated by this novel if I hadn't read a similar campus thriller earlier this year that I thought was much stronger. The Girls Are All So Nice Here goes full throttle in giving us an anti-hero protagonist -- Amb isn't just unlikeable, at times she's downright despicable, yet author Laurie Elizabeth Flynn manages to inject her with just enough humanity that you can't help but feel for her a bit. As a result, that book is probably one of the most disquieting campus thrillers I've ever read. I called it bleak in my review and recommended allocating some time for self-care after reading, and that was because the story tore into my gut, and left me feeling disquiet throughout.

Jessica, the protagonist of In My Dreams, pales in comparison. She's both unlikeable and sympathetic, but more in the mould of what you'd expect for this genre. She's not as wealthy as her classmates, which makes her insecure and resentful, and she wants to fulfill her father's dreams, which makes her ruthless in her ambition. She's a complex, well-written character, but not one that will stick in your mind months after you finish reading the book. (Ironically, her main insecurity is that she's often overlooked and forgotten, so maybe the author did her job too well?) It's mostly that she's exactly the type of protagonist that I expected, down to her having a quasi-love triangle with the golden boy and the bad boy. That's all fine, but it's also a bit of a disappointment after The Girls took me so much by surprise.

There was also something almost workmanlike with the reveals. The story is structured so that the set piece moment -- where all the suspects are in a room with the detective figure (in this case, Eric) -- happens about halfway through. Eric pretty much goes around the room, mentioning a clue, then pointing out that a particular suspect or the other is now revealed to have a motive. In classic mysteries, this set up works because it all happens within a few pages, so as the reader, you're treated to a dazzling array of sleights of hand before the detective reveals who the killer actually is.

But this book spaces it out over several chapters, with interludes from the perspectives of each suspect. This format works in that it gives each suspect their time in the spotlight, and their opportunity to explain their actions. But the sleight of hand dazzle is lost, and by the third or so suspect, it's already fairly obvious that the reveal is going to turn out to be a fairly minor one. That being said, the spacing out of reveals succeeds in showing us why each of the friends is somewhat complicit in the murder, even though not all of them are technically guilty of the crime.

I also like how the book delves into the lives of all these characters, and shows us what they're dealing with, beyond the trauma of the actual murder. There's an almost Rashomon-like feel to how each of the suspects gets to say their piece, and while the execution fell a bit flat for me, I like the broadness of perspective the story provides on the crime.

The ending, as I said, was unexpected, at least to me. I'm not sure how I feel about the way it ended, but in a way that this uncertainty is a positive. The author does give us a firm resolution and insight into all the secrets surrounding Heather's murder, but I don't know if I would say the ending is a happy one necessarily. I still feel that a character got away with murder, and I thought that was a nice, slightly uneasy, note to end on.

+

Thank you to Harper Collins Canada for an e-galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I loved this book! I couldn't put it down, reading into the wee hours of the morning until my eyes closed themselves and I dropped my Kindle on my head.
This psychological thriller has everything you want from the genre, suspense, mystery, hints, and twists, juicy twists. Best of all, no plot holes, which I find often happens in books of this genre!
Sometimes books with several lead characters can get confusing, but not this one. Eight main characters, all developed so well with unique personalities, I never had to pause to think about who was who. There's even dark and twisty romance, a little steam, and a little heartbreak.
This book is captivating, written so well with a well thought out plot, and is sure to be one of my favs of 2021!

I'm a sucker for books about college and reunions so I had to check this one out. And I was not disappointed! The author takes us back and forth between past and present to create a tense story where any one of the six friends could have killed their friend, Heather. A twisty, compulsive read about friendship, vanity, secrets and lies. Really well done; I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. I look forward to reading more from Ashley Winstead!

This psychological thriller definitely kept me guessing until the very end! Right from the start, the author did a great job creating this dark sense of suspicion and unease. The story was built upon layer after layer of secrets and hidden motivation -- and the slow reveal of the events leading up to Heather's murder was brilliantly done. While I enjoyed the complexity of this novel, Jessica truly was a difficult character to like and that did make it a little harder for me to get into the book. For whatever reason, this book just didn't connect with me, but I do still think it was very well done. I can see this being a popular read for others -- especially if you enjoy thrillers with complex character and multiple twists.

Ashley Winstead is a master of now vs then, the tease, as she moves from twist to twist on her way to a mystery that though you may think you have solved it, just wait! A need to be accepted, to be on top, going back, but it is never the same. All this and more combine to be the read you wont stop talking about! 4.5 Stars