After listening to the Happiness Lab podcast I became interested in searching for more information about positive psychology. This book fits the bill, it contains many thought-provoking ideas and tools to help you live a happier life.

Ben-Shahar’s book should have been available in 2020 while we were in Covid-19 lockdown because it offers up some reasons (and actions to take) into why we weren’t feeling that great after weeks of not seeing our friends and some family members. He divides the main areas of the book into five parts of well-being that lead indirectly to happiness -- the SPIRE: spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational and emotional. You can see how working on these areas might relate to what could make us happier. He reminds us that success doesn’t lead to happiness. We may get a temporary high or low after some news. Even lottery winners return to the level of happiness they were at before their winnings. We can pursue elements that lead to happiness (indirectly) but Ben-Shahar mentions the paradox of happiness – “the more we value it, and therefore want it, the more elusive it is.”

I appreciated that this book mentioned the Harvard long-term study and its results that showed what the number one predictor of happiness was and what the best predictor of health was. It is one of the few books that I have seen where the psychological safety concept of Amy Edmondson is mentioned. In the emotional well-being chapter, Ben-Shahar pointed out that we need to accept that we might need to cry when we experience painful emotions instead of trying to be “strong.” How we perceive painful emotions makes a difference between a happier and a depressed person. We need to be reminded of that. Finding something to be grateful for each day is another component of helping ourselves to become happier. The section on the gratitude letter and cultivating hope were very good.

After each chapter, the author presents a way to score yourself on the part of the SPIRE the chapter is about such as determining the degree to which you experience S,P,I,R, or E well-being and score yourself from 1 (very little) to 10 (very much). Then you are to describe in writing why you gave yourself that score. This is one way the author tries to help the reader apply some of the book’s content. But I wish there were more visual ways to break up the text; perhaps including pictures of the works of art he mentions.

Given that the author is a professor of psychology, he cites research here and there to bolster his assertions. I appreciated the list of references in the Notes section of the book. I noticed on Amazon that Ben-Shahar has an earlier book on being “Happier” but after looking at the table of contents from the “look inside” feature of it, this new book appears more comprehensive in its coverage with the SPIRE elements and with more recent research behind it. A few times I felt the research was stacked a little too much for the average reader to go through and needed more real-life examples or illustrations, such as what he does when he talks about the Gratitude Letter. He spent too many pages (about 9) for my taste on meditation and mindfulness, when much of that information can be found elsewhere. This book is a good compilation of a positive approach to improving our levels of being happier that hopefully helps us not pursue some avenues that are very short lived and provide false promises of happiness. Thanks to NetGalley and The Experiment for allowing me to read an advance copy of the book in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion.

I love how positive psychology expert Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar explains his reasoning for the title of this book. He claims that there is no such thing as happily ever after, but that we can continuously learn how to become happier, no matter what. His approach involves self-reflection and experimentation to improve our wellbeing in five areas: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. He refers to this approach as Climbing the SPIRE, which I think is a very helpful mnemonic.

I’ve read quite a bit on positive psychology, so many of the author’s ideas were familiar to me. However, I really liked his presentation, and I did pick up some new ideas to explore. I found the text thought provoking, and particularly appreciated the discussion of deep learning and the discussion of intimate relationships as a crucible for growth. I think his approach of periodic SPIRE Check-Ins is a great way to continually assess and incrementally improve your wellbeing.

I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in personal growth and experiencing more wellbeing. As I was reading, I kept thinking of people I would love to gift a copy to.

Thanks to The Experiment for providing me with an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.

Written by al Ben-Shahar (also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar), an expert in organizational behavior and positive psychology, Happier, No Matter What is organized around Ben-Shachar’s SPIRE system. The acronym stands for five core categories of wellbeing: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. Chapters of the book are then dedicated to each wellbeing categories, providing both a strong basis for understanding why the category is important and providing practical tips on how to enhance or reflect on one’s wellbeing in each category. Clearly intended for a general audience, Ben-Shachar’s evidence is drawn from history, biological science, neuro chemistry, psychology, religion, and literature. There’s also a nicely laid out (if at times surprisingly dated) reference section. Individuals already highly familiar with positive psychology and happiness studies probably won’t findmuch new here in terms of actual content, but for individuals new to the topic this serves as a solid and highly readable primer.

I have enjoyed several of Tal Ben-Shahar’s works (as well as learning with him at Kripalu). He is a gifted story teller, educator and this latest work was no exception.