Member Reviews
This is a book about Julián, a senior in high school who is in the closet in Texas. The novel follows him as he comes out and meets a boy online. He is also juggling family issues and insecurities about being gay.
Pros: Every main character in this book is a person of color, which is awesome! We can have diversity with no white people. It can be done and this book shows it. I thought the fact it focused on a Latinx teen was a refreshing perspective. Even though the coming-out story usually feels cliche, the different perspective elevated it to something a little fresher.
Cons: I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style. It felt very okay and relied too heavily on physical description at the expense of emotional weight. I wish it spent more type building the emotional weight and connections instead of describing the clothes people were wearing or the food they were eating. BUT that is just me. I also thought the plot didn't really go anywhere. Things happened and that was basically it, but this would probably be good for younger YA readers making the jump from middle grades to more complicated YA narratives.
I really wanted to love this book but it sadly didnt do it for me. The writing style felt very flat and boring to me and the plot very unrealistic. The relationship felt very confusing to me as they met online through twitter and in the span of days were dating. It progressed way to quickly and lacked any chemistry. And I loved cemetery boys for the spanish integrated in the text, but this one went a bit to hard on it to the point it was hard to read as a nonspeaker.
I will admit that, when I first finished Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun, I was overflowing with so much emotion, I wasn't sure what to do with it. Happiness, grief, love... it all warred within me. I didn't know what to feel first, and as a result, was a bit overwhelmed for a little while. So, I'm sure you can understand from an introduction like that, I had a lot of feelings for this book.
Julián Luna is one of the most likable main characters that I've read in a long while. He's an adorable disaster, the type that somehow manages to pull it together at the last minute, but only by chance, force of will, and sometimes the sheer audacity that he and his friends circle have honed to a fine weapon. The book itself covers a full year in Julián's life, including a less than graceful announcement of his sexuality, conflict between friends, home stress, re-found connections, and most of all, love.
There were so many instances in this book where I literally laughed out loud at some of the antics, and there were more than a few times that I teared up, both in sadness and in utter and complete happiness. Also, I loved being able to read all of the Spanish in the book. It took me back to being a kiddo, when my father and his sister used to fire back and forth at each other with quips and playful insults, and I couldn't wait to learn more Spanish so I understood more (we are Puerto Rican).
The author has a playful way of making everything seem so real. These aren't characters in a book, they're people you might hear about, or even know. What happens in the book isn't just a story, it's something that your curious tía might share with you over dinner or drinks. I felt that I was a part of the story, that I was so heavily invested in these kids, their struggles and triumphs, their happiness and their sadness.
Honestly, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It's both comforting and compelling. I wasn't able to put it down, and on the few occasions that I managed it, all I wanted to do was pick it up again. I read it over two days, and I cannot wait to have the physical copy in my hands so I can read it again. Please go read this book. It will absolutely brighten your day, week, month, and maybe even year.
A gripping coming of age insta love YA novel. There was a lot more Spanish in this book than I expected, but I could sort of figure out it from context clues. I am always happy to see queer representation in YA books and this one felt so realistic to me, especially when Jules wonders why it can't be like in the movies (although by the end it kinda was ;))
4.5 stars --
This book was unlike anything I've ever read.
It navigates some really important topics about sexuality, family, friendship, culture, romantic relationships, and self-discovery, and the author tackles these with an achingly beautiful (and engaging) voice. What results is a captivating combination of heartbreak, humor, meaningful messages, and SWOON. OMG SO MUCH SWOON. (Also, s/o to the Texas nods!) It's an unapologetic, but compassionate story of love, hope and healing.
This YA is important to me, and I know it's going to be important for SO many others. Bravo, Jonny!
A big thank you to Skyscape and NetGalley for the e-ARC in exchange for my honest, unbiased review.
I just finished fifteen hundred miles from the sun thanks to the arc netgalley gave me and I need a few hours to process everything but this is probably my favorite book of the year and Jonny Garza Villa might became one of my favorite authors ever. I'll write a better review once I processed everything but I am the happiest ever with being able to have the opportunity to read this book and fall in love with every character in it, being a Latin American lgbt+ teenager and seeing myself so represented in this book made me cry so hard like a hundred of times and you can really see the love they have for their characters and their history. It hit too close to home so many times but i saw myself in every character and in every little piece of Latin America I read. I honestly think everyone should read it I wanna thank them for such a great job with everything in this book and the representation, even seeing so much of Argentina made me happy. Sos une gran autore, gracias por hacerme sentir aun más orgullosa de quien soy y por darme el mejor libro del 2021.
My full review in goodreads will be posted tomorrow on my account @drkduet and it has been already been posted in my Twitter Account @drkduet
It’s been a while since I could definitively say I got a new favourite YA contemporary, and I am thrilled to report Jonny Garza Villa’s Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun has joined my list of auto-recommends. Poignant, heartfelt, unflinching in its portrayal of the very real and often undiscussed bigotry faced by gay Latinx teens, and buoyed with enough love and support to show a different path forward, I loved every minute of this book.
Julián and Mat, our two main characters, captured my heart from the very beginning. When Julián accidentally outs himself after a drunken night at a party, it paves the way for a long distance friendship with his Twitter crush Mat, a friendship that quickly becomes more.
The way an online relationship was portrayed in this novel was one of my favourite things about it. Especially in the world today, our online connections have become more valued and necessary than ever. Particularly for the queer community, oftentimes our online communities are our ONLY sources of support. Mat feels just as and more developed as Julián’s other in-person friends, and the way they navigate the challenges of their long distance relationship is both authentic and touching in equal measure.
Julián’s friend group definitely gave me all the found family vibes and they were a vibrant, distinct cast in their own rights. One thing done particularly well in this novel is capturing the teenage, Tumblr-esque voice without coming off as stilted or awkward while doing so. Everyone is so charmingly a senior in high school in this novel all the mess and emotions and love that come along with it. I also appreciated working in frank discussions of safe sex practices in a YA appropriate way; normalizing those topics especially for queer teens is so, so important.
Though the heartwarming romance and wonderful friendships take center stage and will win over many, this novel isn’t without its serious topics. There is enough trauma (in particular homophobia and child abuse; please check other reviews for more detailed content warnings) that I would recommend making sure you’re in a place to handle it before beginning. I promise the support and love makes it worth it—unlike some other YA contemporary novels I have read in the past year—but to ignore the more difficult subjects would be doing this novel a disservice.
I just want anyone who remotely enjoys YA contemporaries to read this novel. Not only am I thankful Fifteen Hundred Miles From the Sun exists because it’s a wonderful and expertly told story, I am extra glad for this to find its way into the hands and hearts of QTBIPOC teens. Please pre-order and/or buy and/or library request this one because it’s amazing and absolutely worth it.
Thank you to Skyscape and NetGalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Thank you so much, NetGalley and Skyscape, for the chance to read and review this book!
TW: homophobia, homophobic slurs, emotional, physical and psychological parental abuse, forced coming out, bullying
Julián Luna only wants to graduate, get into UCLA a move away from Corpus Christi, Texas and the people's, above all his own father, expectations. He's forced to live an inauthenthic life and hide himself, fearing for his safety and struggling with intrusive thoughts and feelings. But a drunken mistake leads to an unexpected coming out on Twitter and Julián's life is abruptly changed. The world knows and while Julián is afraid of being rejected and even more bullied, the upside is that he can finally be his real self. When a cute and kind crush starts to message him on Twitter, Mat, Julián right away connects with him. They can tell anything to one other, they click, they fit, but when Jules's fears about coming out come true, Mat is fifteen hundred miles away and he's forced to face them alone.
Fifteen hundred miles from the sun is one of the most beautiful novel I've ever read. It's a story about coming out, first love, being yourself, even in the face of the world and the people who should protect and love us no matter what.
Jules is the main character and he's brilliant, sardonic, funny and strong, so relatable in his desires, fears and wants.
He's been forced to hide himself all his life, pressured to be the kind of man his father wants him to be, "this rigid presentation of heterosexual machismo Mexican American young man" (quote from the earc, so it can be subject to changes) in order to keep the peace, to feel safe, not to anger him. The fears, the hiding, the hope for something better, Jules struggles with these feelings, wanting to get away from his city and his father and reach the sunny California and his dream college. The forced outing, the tweet sent by mistake changes everything, forcing to face the reality and letting him to be, finally, himself.
His relationship with Mat is one of the most beautiful and intense story. I love their conversations, how they slowly get to know one other, becoming friends, starting to feel something more for each other, trying to make their relationship works even with so many miles apart. Jules and Mat are incredibly cute and sweet and I love how they right away understand, support and love other other. In his struggle, at school, at home, with himself, Jules finds a beacon in Mat and Mat finds the same in him. Their conversations, jokes, flirting, pictures and so on were such a pleasure to read. I was so involved in their relationship and I ship them right away, because they were perfect for one other.
Their love is so pure, intense and strong enough to face miles apart, problematic family members, misunderstandings and problems. I really loved their relationship, I swooned, laughed and cried so much while reading this book.
Jules's journey isn't an easy one. It's intense, filled with sad and hearwrenching moments, above all with his relationship with his father, his fear of not being accepted and loved for who he is. Not only he struggled and struggles with his thoughts, fears and desires for his future, but also with miles separating from Mat, family problems and homophobia. There's pain in this book, from physical and psychological abuse at home, homophobia, fears and hiding.
BUT it's also a book about so much joy and love, filled with intense and cute moments, supportive friends and family, wonderful and sweet boyfriend.
Jules is surrounded by wonderful and supportive friends, his sister Xochi and his grandfather, and I really loved the way they were always there for him, ready to catch him if he struggled and fell, offering him a place to stay, support and inconditional love. So many sweet and cute moments, filled with laughs, cooking, jokes and support.
I really enjoyed reading this book and I fell in love with it right away, because Jules is such a relatable character and his relationship with his friends and boyfriend is wonderfully written, making me feel like I was there with them, laughing, joking and loving one other.
This book is amazing and I'll never stop recommend it enough!
Everything about this book is just fabulous. The overlaying story might seem simple when you think about it. Boy is closeted. Boy accidentally outs himself. Boy meet boy online. They become friends. They become more than friends. Father is homophobic. Friends are family.
But, the truth hidden with this story is breathtaking. Jules struggles with accepting his own sexuality paired with the aggressive masculinity that his dad forces on him. If he comes out, will he lose anything? What will his friends think? What will his sister think?
Jonny tackles all of these things, and so much more, in a splendid way. He weaves together a love story mixed with powerful friendship and acceptance. Jules is not just a gay teenager. He is a Mexican-American teenager as well. Both of these were explored and discussed from Jules POV in this books.
There were so many lines in this book that I highlighted because they felt so authentic and truthful. There were moments where I just said to myself "Yes! This is what it's like being a gay teenager!" Jonny captured so much of this authenticity.
This book reminded me of Simon vs. The Homo Sapien Agenda mixed with elements of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe with little sprinkles of Here the Whole Time.
You have to read this book. You really just have to.
first things first, this cover is gorgeous,
this book is emotional, heartbreaking and the writing is lovely. I loved both Matt and Jules.
This was a quick and cute read. The story was pretty generic, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If you enjoy cute, gay, romance books with little conflict, this is the book for you. While there were situations in this book that could be triggering (abuse and homophobia), the story did not focus too much of the story on this and, instead, focused on the romance.
I wish there was more depth to this story. Everything felt very rushed and unrealistic. However, the diversity in this book was remarkable and I appreciate seeing all sorts of representation in this book.
I actually started this book after finishing A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire because I needed a break from fantasy and I had to catch up with arcs. Let’s just say that I FREAKING loved this book. Seriously, throughout this book I keep going “awe” and “omg so cute” in a whisper (since it was 1am). This book warmed my heart so much I couldn’t stop smiling. The chemistry and all the things that Mat and Jules went through since they were in long distance relationship was very realistic and I loved how Mat was always there for Jules while he was going through being out in his small town. They started out as friends but they just had so much in common and chemistry that they just couldn’t stay away from each other. Also, the side characters are AMAZING in this book. Jules’ best friends are seriously the best found family that he could have when coming out to his high school and the things that happened with his dad. His actual family like his sister and grandfather made me tear up and just feel wonderful whenever they were there to support him. I’m definitely getting a finished copy when it comes out JUNE 8TH!
*Thank you to @netgalley for my free advanced copy. All opinions are my own.*
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This was really cute and heartwarming! I appreciated the author’s note with the content warnings because I started the book with realistic expectations of this story. That is to say not every moment is cute and heartwarming. There are really scary and difficult scenes to get through in addition to casual homophobia in the main character’s everyday life as a gay teenager in a conservative Texas town.
The relationship between Jules and Mat was really sweet. This story covers a full year, and I think the progression of their relationship, although developed mostly online, felt real and natural. The author nailed the banter between these two. They tease each other but they’re also really vulnerable with each other.
Big casts of characters in a friend group are sometimes hard to pull off, but I was absolutely convinced that these characters were 1) best friends and 2) fully developed characters who didn’t only exist to propel the main character’s arc. I really liked Rolie’s development from a cautious friend to a huge supporter of Jules.
I was especially moved by Julián’s relationship with his sister and abuelo. And I liked (sort of spoiler alert) that he cuts off his toxic dad. YA has a tendency to always admit toxic family members back into a character's life but that's not reality for a lot of queer folks.
I will also add that I love that Jules is vegan, makes vegan Mexican throughout the book, and loves salsa verde. Finally, a book with a salsa verde agenda!!!
in short: this book has the best found family i've ever read. it physically hurt me to say goodbye to these characters and i think that says enough.
- this book has one of the BEST friend groups i've ever read. no cap.
- when i got to the end of it and i realized that, like jules, i was also saying goodbye to piña, and lou, and rolie, and jordan and itzel, i basically started tearing up and i think that says enough.
- i absolutely love how this book is so POSITIVE. it discusses very hard topics of abuse and machismo and toxic masculinity, but it's also trying to be this beacon of light and i appreciate that so much.
- mat and jules are so adorable it hurt.
- THE FOOD. this book has so much delicious food in it, it actually made me hungry.
- i do wish the narration allowed us more inside jules' head at times. it felt like i was watching a movie more than reading a book.
- on one hand, that's actually pretty great, because it made it so the book was extremely visual. the descriptions of L.A and corpus christ, when we see both mat and jules showing their own city around to the other person, it felt like i was watching a movie montage and it was great!
- on the other, i felt like i couldn't fully connect with jules' character, because i was watching him rather than being inside his head. like when he first meets mat, i could *see* that encounter happening, but i wasn't inside jules' head - we didn't get to read about him being nervous on whether or not mat would like him now that they were face to face; we didn't get to read about him reflecting on the things about mat that felt different in person, like his voice or his laugh or his body; we didn't get to read about him wondering what would that encounter be like if had been mat visiting him in texas - would he have been able to jump in his boyfriend's arms if he thought someone he knew could be watching? and maybe i'm being extra picky, but i do wish the book had just gone *deeper* at times in terms of the character's thoughts/feelings.
- the sex scene in this book was also really awkward lmao i don't think this is relevant at all for my review, but something i learned about myself when reading this, is that: don't throw me into a sex scene if these characters haven't made out or hooked up at least ONCE. pls.
- i still enjoyed this sososoooooo much and i urge anyone reading this to pick it up
I love this book. I think you can tell it's from a debut author, as there is wiggle room for improvement in style and narrative, but it's really really good.
The main character is Jules, a 17 year old who comes out as gay on twitter "accidentally". His life is turned upside down as he deals with what it means and he worries about his future. Jonny tells his story with another gay teen, Mat, who lives, you guessed it, 1500 miles away.
The two characters are adorable. Not just in appearance, but in their personalities. They seem very authentic. Jules is the only point of view we get, but Mat comes across as equally thought out and developed, as are Jules' friends and family. You will root for them all (except the jerks). Jonny has written it so you understand decisions, fears and victories so well.
The supporting cast is fantastic. Each with their own vibes and equally as authentic as the main guys. They tease each other like a group of friends and family would do and it feels a little like you are spying on a real group of people.
The story, while I won't spoil it, is touching. I cried a couple times. I cheered a couple times. I nodded in understanding a couple times. And I enjoyed the range of emotions while reading it. The plot was simple, but the book isn't just the plot. It's really a story about Jules and his support system and it doesn't need to be flashy. It also wasn't completely predictable. There are a lot of moments that something could go either way, and you will push yourself to read faster to find out how they resolve.
This is my first gay YA book. I would call it romance, but it is lacking in detailed sex scenes. To me, it didn't feel like they were left out. I'm not sure if this is a YA thing or a non-romance book thing. It didn't affect the efficiency of the plot or the authenticity of the characters. If you are only looking for m/m sex scenes, this book isn't for you. But there isn't hetro sex either.
I love ranting about this book and I hope everyone gives it a chance. It's so soft.
Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun is at times heartbreaking but always has a lot of heart. Julián knows he is gay but his Mexican-American dad will never accept that. So he keeps that part of himself hidden from family and friends until one night he drinks too much and comes out on social media. The story of Julián was all too familiar to me. As a cis-gendered straight woman, it was clear that in my immigrant family it was not ok to be gay. I saw cousins struggle and endure abuse from the people that were supposed to protect them. This was tough to read and reflect on because there are still many Juliáns out there and we need to collectively do better for them. I teach in a school with a primarily Latinx population and I still see and feel the homophobia. Things are changing but they need to change faster and we need to do better now.
Clearly the book has had an impact on me and I think there is an audience for it and stories like these.
There was a romanticization of California and Los Angeles that I think is not a reality. However, Julián needed Los Angeles to play that role for him and so I do see the usefulness of that in the story.
CWs: Verbal and physical child abuse; physical assault; homophobia; homophobic slurs (English and Spanish); bullying; non-graphic allusions to suicidal ideation; disownment; descriptions of PTSD, panic attacks, and depressive episodes; some exploration of grief; references to underage drinking, some graphic allusions to sex
Jonny Garza Villa really and truly didn't have to write the perfect book. But they did, and I'm forever grateful.
Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun very much feels like a successor to Ari & Dante, especially in its deliberate, slow pace. This is a story that meticulously takes you through the seasons of Jules' senior year, reveling in moments of friendship and love while also confronting homophobia head-on. It's a story about love in all its power and its limitations—exploring what love can do and what it can't. Love can support you, protect you, and keep you going when things get tough, but at the same time, love can't make up for everything when it's not supported by action.
Whether that means a father who refuses to acknowledge his son's queerness or a long-distance boyfriend who's struggling to figure out how to show up for someone when you can't physically be there, the story deftly explores both love's power and its failings. Even though this is a book that's not afraid to acknowledge the hardships queer people face, it's also largely about finding out which friends are true and learning to find joy in the communities we build for ourselves. This is a story that perfectly captures those high school friendships where buying a $2 soda from a fast food drive through on your way to the beach after school is an adventure you'd take over and over again and where piling onto the same bed together is an appropriate response to someone's depressive episode—those ride-or-die friendships that make your soul sing.
Not only that, but FHMFTS is a love story for the ages and exactly the love story we need right now. It's very rare that we get to see a story that both understands and celebrates online, long-distance romance. Not only is this a story that validates long-distance relationships, but it shows how integral online relationships can be in day-to-day life. Besides his physical presence, you miss nothing of Mat throughout this story. He is every bit as vibrant and present in Jules' life as Jules other friends from school are. He supports Jules, cheers him on, and wants the best for him, all while trying to maintain clear and open communication.
They run into pitfalls along the way, and the distance definitely tests both of them in different ways, but their relationships is every bit as real and beautiful as any other romance out there. They have A-plus level chemistry and banter, yes, but I think their relationship is so memorable because they're both learning not only how to see the other person for everything they are, but how to allow themselves to be seen in return. Letting yourself be known, in all your messiness and in all your mistakes, is an act of love and bravery, and that is ultimately what makes their relationship so satisfying to read.
Oh yeah, and they're funny as fuck.
Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun is a book that will make you laugh, a book that will make you smile right after it makes you cringe, and a book that will make you feel above all else. Trust me when I say you do NOT want to miss this book. I would wholeheartedly recommend it to absolutely everyone.
i'm sure a lot of you will fall in love with this one. it's a very heavy read, but it's also full of strong friendships, romantic phone calls and supportive siblings!
the mc is mexican-american, the love interest ist vietnamese-american and there are a lot of latinx side characters, as well as other queer characters and BIPoC.
i was very happy to see that there were trigger warnings included before the first chapter. i'll say it again and again, but this should be the standard for all books.
even though our mc is facing a lot of problems regarding his homophobic and abusive father, he still has a support system (friends, sister and grandfather). however, be aware that homophobia and abuse play a huge role in this book. there's a lot of casual homophobia, but also physical violence against the mc.
the romance is cute, but i have to admit, it felt a bit rushed. nonetheless, i think that a lot of people will be able to relate to it (me too!), because a lot of relationships and friendships nowadays start through social media.
i wish the side characters would have had stronger arcs and stronger subplots though. i feel like this was missing.
if you're into ya romances, i'd definitely recommend it!
This was a super cute book and I definitely recommend! I really enjoyed the characters and the story was really creative!
What you’re in for:
- Sweet and sappy gays
- Long-distance dating after your crush slides into your DMs
- Latinx Mexican-American protagonist and Vietnamese-American love interest
- Coming out narrative
- Trigger warnings for parental abuse, physical abuse and homophobia
Review:
“I— I’m glad you’re here right now. That you’re safe. And alive. And I know that you have all the willpower and determination to get through anything in life, Jules. But I hope you know now that you can tell me anything. Always. Everyone needs somebody, and I want to be your somebody. I want to be your person. And I want you to be mine.”
Be right back, I’m in my feels.
After a rocky start to the book where I wasn’t quite sure whether this was going to be heavy or fluffy, Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun turned out to be what I’d call a cleansing reading experience for anyone who’s on the LGBTQIAP+ spectrum. Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun is a story about coming out, falling in love for the first time and acting on it, and figuring out how to be yourself when there are outside forces telling you to do everything but that. Villa captures the good and the bad about coming out and perfectly balances the sad with the fluffy content.
My favourite part of this book was, of course, what will be known as the internet romance of a lifetime. It was just so enamouring to read about this digital dating between Jules and Mat because it reminded me not only of the friends I’ve made in the LGBTQIAP+ community online, but also of that feeling when you find someone online who seems to speak your language, the way you become dependent on them and how hard it can be when they cut you off out of the blue. Jules and Mat’s relationship—from the insta-love to the slowly falling in love for real part to finally meeting officially for the first time in person—is rocky and all-encompassing, complex and deceptively easy at times and it perfectly captures first love in my opinion. Things are messy and Villa doesn’t shy away from showing the advantages and struggles that come with dating someone who lives hours away from you. Thank God for the internet, am I right?
Besides the whirlwind romance that will take readers by storm, there is also the found family trope in this book and I loved Jules’ group of friends. They’re all so diverse and have their own struggles, whether it’s about love or their plans for the future and I enjoyed how they kept teasing Jules about his relationship but also (for the most part) being supportive about it.
Also, can we take a second to talk about how supportive, genuinely kind and strong-willed Mat is? He’s basically the poster boy of what you want your first boyfriend to be. I loved all the discussions he and Jules had about coming and being out to the world, how family can both protect you and make you feel like you’re alone, and most of all, how Mat fought for Jules time and again. There are so many moments where I wanted to clutch the book to my chest and just smile at the sheer adorableness of it all. Steadfast and honest and so dreamy, I can see readers falling in love with Jules and Mat all over the world.
One of the hardest aspects of this book to stomach is the relationship between Jules and his father. For the longest time, Jules has kept being gay to himself because his father doesn’t accept “that lifestyle” and it is incredibly sad yet impactful to read about how Jules adjusts his performance around his father to escape physical and verbal abuse. When his father eventually learns about Jules and kicks him out, even going so far as blackmailing him to keep him on the straight path, my heart was breaking for Jules and any kid who has ever experienced this sort of shunning. While Jules’ and Mat’s families are largely supportive and believe that love is love, Jules’ father’s reaction was jarringly realistic and definitely not for the faint of heart. I think what I love most about this book is that Jules takes his time to come to terms with what his father’s ignorance means for their relationship in the future and that he realises that blood does not always mean family. It’s one of the hardest decisions to make to put yourself first even at the cost of a love you thought— and hoped—to be unconditional, and Villa portrays this with such a careful hand that it stays with you even after you close the book.
An homage to finding your tribe on the interwebs, Villa’s authentically tender debut Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun brings a cleansing gay happily-ever-after to any reader who’s ever found their soulmate online— only to find out they live half a world away.