DNF
My many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for an early copy of this book!

I tried reading this book when I first received the arc, and I remember just not being able to get into it at all, I found it slow, and the writing style very jarring. I kept telling myself that I would eventually get around to finishing it, and yet here we are two years later, and I still have no interest in picking it back up.

This was not my style of book. While I enjoyed the premise of the book, a man dying of cancer going back to his hometown to see if he can find someone to be a guardian to his granddaughter, the magical realism or fantasy or whatever it was that intertwined with the story was not for me. I just couldn't get into it for that reason. The story was well-written, but just not for me.

I received this book from Revell and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.

Shawn Smucker has once again written a fabulous tale. in his latest release, The Weight of Memory. It was one that was thought provoking for me and I was captivated from page one. Five stars.

While I got sucked into The Weight of Memory very quickly and was getting pretty emotional at the beginning of the book I feel like it went downhill very fast.

Our main character Paul is diagnosed with cancer and given a few months to live so he takes his granddaughter Pearl back to his hometown. There were a lot of things that rubbed me the wrong way from the book but the biggest one was the lack of hope. As a Christian fiction published book I feel like hope should have been the main theme, but instead Paul is just suffering with the weight of memory and wallowing in things that happened years ago.

This was my first Shawn Smucker book and I would like to try another one but I hope it has a more encouraging message than this one.

First sentence: Her words hover in the air, hummingbirds, and I hold my breath, glance up at the clock above the door, and watch the red second hand twitch its way through a minute.

Paul Elias, our protagonist, has just received shocking, life-changing news. His life expectancy is "anytime to three months." He is the primary caregiver of his granddaughter, Pearl. His only other family being a drug-addict son, John, whom he hasn't seen--or heard from--in four plus years. So what does he do? Well. He decides to pick up his granddaughter from school and go on a road trip back to his hometown of Nysa. He doesn't have family there. He doesn't even know if he has friends there. He hasn't been back to Nysa in forty years; he left soon after his wife's disappearance with his newborn son. I doubt that Paul has even googled his hometown. (Though he should have, in my humble opinion.) Still the pair head off to Nysa despite an increasing number of foreboding experiences on their journey. Hint: If you're heading into town and every person you meet says GO AWAY, THIS TOWN ISN'T SAFE ANYMORE. BAD THINGS HAPPEN HERE. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GO OUT ANYWHERE NEAR THE LAKE, if you're smart you'd rethink your hasty, reckless, life-changing decision.

So what is Paul's plan? Paul's plan is to find somebody--anybody to raise Pearl. Yes, you heard me. He has driven across country to find a complete and total stranger to give his granddaughter to. And his criterion seems to be so low-key it's almost non existent. Are you breathing? Well, that makes you a possible caregiver for my one and only granddaughter.

There being no hotels in his hometown, he finds an emotionless person to go home with. True, forty years ago, these two knew each other way back when. But still. Despite forty plus red flags that are literally screaming out DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, he is thinking Tom is the best choice for Pearl's next caregiver.

What else should you know about The Weight of Memory? It's written in the second person. The "you" being Pearl. The style is...atmospheric, eery, literary. The chapters alternate between the present and flashbacks of the past. Most of the characters, if not all the characters, are SUPER creepy. Despite being published by a Christian publishing company, there is absolutely nothing Christian about the text. In fact, I'd make the case that the book goes out of its way to be non-Christian in its supernatural-ness. I'm not sure if the right word for this one is supernatural OR magical realism OR perhaps a blending of the two.

I guess what bothers me most is that this book is published by a Christian publisher and yet stands against--or in opposition--to a Christian world view or perspective of death and the afterlife. Like Paul doesn't seem to have any clue whatsoever about what happens when you die, or, more importantly what happens after you die. It's not that he has doubts or questions. He's not even asking the questions. Or thinking about asking the questions. He's not seeking God. He's not seeking peace or assurance. Readers never see him praying, talking to God, thinking about God, nothing, absolutely nothing. And what the book presents instead....is...well disturbing.

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Throughout the book, there is a mysterious white-haired/silver-haired lady that only a few people can see. Pearl being one of them. Paul's wife, Mary, being another. Throughout the book, Paul stumbles across a few others that have seen her. She is a spooky/scary/haunting/creepy character that is often encouraging characters to do really super dangerous, not at all safe things. Things that will more often than not cause people to die. Yes, die. Hence all the foreboding, obvious warnings saying DON'T LIVE HERE. DON'T STAY HERE. GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

The fact that Pearl is conversing with her almost every single day and listening to her and doing her bidding....well it's just like someone waving a million red flags. Paul is oblivious. Like totally and completely clueless. Like, well, things aren't that bad. Pearl has always had her imaginary friends. Pearl has always like running away. (Which don't get me started on Paul's nonchalant parenting.)

DEEP DEEP DEEP
SPOILERS

Pearl goes on a mission for the mysterious lady (whom we learn is Death), and this has her essentially drown...traveling to the after life...which is an ocean/beach. There's a white house with her grandmother in it. The two have a conversation together...and Mary has a message for Paul that she is waiting and will be waiting for him to join her on the other side. Again, no mention of heaven...or hell...or Jesus...or God...or anything remotely Christian. Just this peaceful beach existence.

But putting ALL OF THAT ASIDE. I still wanted to yell and scream at Paul the entire book. WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID?????? ARE YOU REALLY THINKING OF WHAT IS BEST FOR PEARL???? IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE HER WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER, WHY NOT DO IT IN THE PLACE YOU'RE LIVING NOW?????? DO YOU NOT KNOW ANYONE IN TOWN???? DOES PEARL NOT HAVE FRIENDS????? SURELY AMONG THE TEACHERS, PEARL'S FRIENDS' PARENTS, OTHER RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEINGS YOU'VE ENCOUNTERED, YOU CAN MAKE A PLAN THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. WHY DO YOU NOT CARE THAT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER IS RUNNING WILD???? THAT SHE IS SEEING AND HEARING PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT THERE????? THAT HER ACTIONS ARE HAVING HARMFUL CONSEQUENCES???? IS THE TUMOR EFFECTING ALL OF YOUR LOGIC AND REASONING SKILLS????

And don't get me started on the ending of this one. There are a million reasons why the ending is just all kinds of WRONG.

Quotes:
We paddle where we think we want to go, but all along it's the hidden current that takes us.
Grief is hard and good. It is the disease and the medicine, all at once.

The Weight of Memory
Exceptional writing! A captivating story that kept my attention all the way thru.

Nobody writes speculative fiction like Shawn Smucker, and his new release, The Weight of Memory is positive proof that he’s at the top of his game. In his golden years, Paul finds himself as the sole caregiver for his granddaughter, Pearl. After a terminal diagnosis, Paul must find his way home to provide for Pearl beyond his days on earth. But Nysa isn’t the same place Paul remembers, and the murmurs he hears sound suspiciously like the stories Pearl tells of the silver-haired woman only she can see. It seems that Nysa is the only way forward, but getting there is going to take several steps back.

Returning to the lake where his wife drowned within days of their son’s birth, Paul must also face his old friend Tom, who struggles under the burdens of his own memories of their youthful days. Paul doesn’t know how to tell his friend about the diagnosis or about Pearl’s fanciful tales of the silver-haired woman. But Pearl’s exuberance begins to pull Tom from the depths of his own struggles. Together, Paul and Tom try to unravel the mystery of this woman before it is too late and Pearl is lost to them the way they’ve already lost their loved ones. In their grief, they find a path toward life.

Thank you to the author and publisher for allowing me a copy to read and review. All opinions here are my own and are completely genuine.

The Weight of Memory
By Shawn Smucker

Forty years ago Paul Elias left his hometown behind forever. But when he learns that he has little time left he returns to Nysa - the place of his greatest joy and his greatest loss. But he is doing it for Pearl. His granddaughter has no one other than him and he hopes that somehow he can find someone to give her what he no longer has - a future.

The Weight of Memory takes the reader on a journey - a journey of life, of memory. But returning to Mysa is not what Paul expected - it is a town that under a cloud. This very sadness is something that touches Pearl, who has a depth that is beyond her years.

There are times that this book has an almost spooky feel to it but as it unfolds the reader gradually is made aware that there is more to the tale than first meets the eye. This is a layered story that has a subtle yet powerful appeal and is one that should not be missed.

Shawn Smucker has once again created a world that you'll want to revisit just reexamine everything once you've reached the climax. You'll want to search through it all to discover what you may have missed the first time through. If you have read Shawn in the past you won't be disappointed in this newest work. The back and forth between the present and Paul's memories is typical of his work and in no way has it lost its power to reveal a complexity of thought while entertaining. I highly recommend this book.

I was provided a complimentary copy of this book with no expectations but that I provide my honest opinion. All thoughts expressed are my own.

This is another incredible book by author Shawn Smucker. If you are on the fence about reading this book, I'll save you the time of wondering, and tell you to just read it. This was a very well-written book about a grandfather raising his granddaughter and facing some tough decisions about what to do. So he takes her to his hometown in hopes that some of the answers he needs will be there. What he doesn't know is what answers he will get. Have your tissues handy as this book made me cry at the end, mostly because I felt so invested in their journeys, and I'm sure you will too.

I received an ARC from the publisher, but if I hadn't, I would have purchased and read this book on my own. This review is all my own.

It's not often that a book will make me cry. However, out of the three books of Smucker's that I have read, two have made me bawl. This is one of those books.

After learning his health is faltering and he doesn't have much time left, Paul Elias decides to find a suitable guardian for Pearl, his beloved pre-teen granddaughter. He is all she has, due to her father David's drug addiction. How will he break the news to Pearl?

Paul quickly learns that Pearl has already been apprised of the coming changes, as she's been seeing a "kind lady with silver hair" who helps her draft a map of Nysa, a place Paul has never mentioned to Pearl. Readers soon learn Pearl is a very special girl, one who hears and sees things other don't. "The kind lady needs my help," Pearl shares, and Paul can't decide if he should be concerned or accept Pearl's explanations at face value.

Faced with the prospect of someone taking care of Pearl, Paul decides to return to his hometown of Nysa, the scene of many young adult highs as well as deep lows. He returns to a town that is merely a shell of its former self, chased by ghosts from the pasts of those who live there.

A chance meeting at a local diner brings a long lost friend back into Paul and Pearl's lives. Tom invites them to stay in his beautiful home, where memories from their young adult lives begin to resurface, opening doors to the unknown and forcing all three of the main characters to process through things they thought they'd already overcome. Pearl continues to drift into the arms of "the kind lady" and her behavior is unpredictable, putting them all at risk.

"The Weight of Memory" is beautiful and heart wrenching all at the same time, with themes of young marriage, raising children, loss, grief, cancer, addiction, mental illness and accidental deaths. But there is a tenacious hope wrapped within this engrossing story that will even out the hard. Smucker's writing style is one I look forward to and do prepare myself for...it's hard to explain. Powerful, challenging and forever laced with second chances, this book will change your outlook on the way we live, love and what legacies we leave behind for the ones we call family.

I was an early reader, thanks to the publisher and #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

At first I didn't like that it was all narrative by Grampy, but I got used to it and it did make sense. It was just not my preferred type of reading. Premise: grandfather at 58 is full time parenting his grandchild, 11 going on 12, when he learns he will die shortly. Who can care for the child? Her father took off years ago and there is no one else. He decides to take her back to where he grew up to see if someone else there will be willing to take her.

Imagine his surprise when he goes to pick her up from school, to learn she has spent art class drawing a map of where he grew up, yet never mentioned to her. Who was this white/silver haired woman who she said helped her, but the teachers said no one was there.

Imagine also that his wife, 40 years ago, saw this same woman, though no one else did. Was his wife, and now his grandchild, mentally off a bit or what?

At the town of his childhood he is warned to leave, that the town is dying. His oldest friend in the world invites him to stay and they have a stilted relationship after 40 years apart. And then there is the white or silver haired woman back again..

Going back and forth between the present and the distant past was fine and it did get tied together. I'd give it 3 stars. Thank you NetGalley and Revell for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest opinion.

The memories we carry in our heads and hearts are substantial things that affect the way we see the world, present tense, and if we give them permission, they may even shape our future. When Paul Elias is given a diagnosis of only three months to live, his past and his future coalesce as his priorities immediately sort themselves into an arrow pointing at the task of finding a home and a good life for Pearl, the eleven-year-old granddaughter in his care.

Uniquely crafted in second person, The Weight of Memory by Shawn Smucker follows Paul’s decision-making process and the flow of his memories in a grandfatherly interior narrative with Pearl. Tendrils of magical realism begin to wrap themselves around the story from the moment the mysterious white-haired woman shows up in Pearl’s art class.

The story of Paul’s past and the story he is currently living both invite the reader into themes of loneliness, emptiness, and what it feels like to function with a soul that’s living in “the wrong size outer garment.” Pearl, precocious and insightful beyond her years, keeps readers guessing. Given to abrupt disappearances, her observations lend an unsettling feel to the narrative arc. For instance, when she stated lightly, “Secrets are heavy things. They’ll drag you down if you don’t let them go,” I was challenged to assess my own authenticity.

Shawn Smucker consistently delivers fiction with a riveting plot, engaging characters, and an undercurrent of truth that challenges the reader to think deeply and pray courageously.

I love this book! I loved everything about it. The story, the narrator, the writing, the tone. It was so good! I think it is Smucker's best book yet!

I decided to stay up late last night to finish reading this story. It’s good…not the kind of good I expected, or maybe even looked for, but it has still made me think. But since I can’t decide whether I like the story enough to want a copy on my shelf, or if it’s one that I’d likely shelve and never read again, I thought I’d offer three likes and dislikes about the book.

I disliked:
1. The “ghost” that appeared throughout the book. It creeped me out several times, and I was VERY thankful to know I was just reading a book, and that this kind of thing doesn’t happen in real life!

2. At least half of this book is written in first-person present-tense, which I found really jarring at times. I’m the kind of person who loves to experiment with writing in this style, but finds it difficult to read.

3. It was a sad story, and though it had a redemptive ending, the ending almost wasn’t enough to make up for the rest of it (in saying that, I thought the same about the last Smucker book I read—These Nameless Things—and then I ended up changing my mind and loving it when I re-read the ending several months later).

But lest you think it’s all bad, here are the things I LOVED about the book!
1. The richness of the characters, the way they (and the wording itself) drew me into the story. The story crafting was beautiful. I could study it all day, and that would be one of my main reasons for reading this again.

2. The way this book made me think…about regrets (or the things we don’t regret), how good decisions can greatly impact our lives in the future, about secrets and the way they can affect us…I loved that it wasn’t just a story to experience, but one to think about.

3. The grandfather/granddaughter relationship in here—it’s not something I’ve seen in many books, but the care he had for her and she for him were beautiful.

I could say so many things about the book, but I’ll leave it as it is. It was a bittersweet read. One I wasn’t sure, halfway through, if I’d even finish, but one I’m glad I did finish in the end. Would I read it again? Possibly—once I’ve had a good few years to mull over the story.

Trigger warning: Drownings and near-drownings are a theme in this book.

I was given a review copy of this book, and this is my honest opinion of it.

Shawn Smucker, it seems, has plenty of questions about death, sacrifice, redemption and forgiveness. It’s evident in previous novels and is once again explored beautifully in his newest.

In The Weight of Memory, Paul Elias leaves his doctor’s office knowing two things. One is that he could die today or he could die three months from now. Either way, the terminal diagnosis leads to the second thing he knows for certain: He has to find someone to take care of his granddaughter.

From that opening chapter, Shawn Smucker weaves a tale that follows Paul’s journey back to his hometown of Nysa to find a solution to his current problem while exploring a time of tragic loss some forty years earlier. Mixed into his journey is a precocious 11 almost 12 year old and a mysterious woman only she can see who leads her on increasingly dangerous escapades.

Smucker’s often poetic prose compelled me to keep reading not only to discover who the mysterious woman was but also to figure out exactly what had happened decades earlier to cause Paul to leave his hometown without much of a second glance. There were revelations and surprises throughout the book that kept me guessing about what might be around the next corner or, more apropos, under the still waters of Nysa’s lake.

It may be selfish but if his questions can keep taking readers on journeys like this, I hope he keeps coming up with the questions.

Given a few months, at most, to live, Paul Elias sets off to his hometown to find a new family for his granddaughter, Pearl. Stories that Pearl tells bring up memories from Paul’s younger days, and visiting his hometown makes things even more complicated, and dangerous.

Shawn Smucker has a unique way of telling a story that seems a little random, but still makes perfect sense. Flashbacks and current happenings mesh together to complete the story. Through all that went on, you could understand what the characters experienced and how they felt. Most times, I could see myself there as the plot unfolded. The ending was bittersweet, but I think it fit the theme of the book just fine.

There are plenty of mysterious goings on to keep you interested, and enough action for it to be anything but boring.

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

“The Weight of Memory” by Shawn Smucker is a fascinating story that deals with secrets, memories and sacrifice.

When Paul Elias receives a death sentence, he decides to take his 11-year-old granddaughter Pearl to the place where he grew up — a place he hasn’t seen in 40 years since the death of his wife. When Pearl, who has always been able to see special things, starts seeing the same silver-haired woman Paul’s wife saw before her death, he becomes concerned for her mental state.

Upon returning to his very different hometown, he reconnects with Tom, his best friend from his teen years. When strange things begin to happen with Pearl and the alleged silver-haired woman, Paul must face both his own mortality as well as Pearl’s.

“The Weight of Memory” is a very intriguing story, one that opens the reader’s mind to a broader world and just what is possible. Uniquely told from Paul’s perspective, as if he’s narrating his story and observations to Pearl, it’s filled with a minimal set of characters, all of whom have their secrets.

A major theme is dealing with the weight of memory (thus the title) and how it impacts everything we do, as well as the fact that secrets are heavy things and will drag you under.

Smucker does write in an incredibly beautiful and descriptive manner, like even the book’s very first sentence: “Her words hover in the air, hummingbirds, and I hold my breath, glance up at the clock above the door, and watch the red second hand twitch its way through a minute.”

Fans of authors like James Markert and Mike Dellosso will enjoy this novel.

Initially the story dragged a bit, and the ending was a little inconclusive, so four stars out of five.

Revell provided this complimentary copy through NetGalley for my honest, unbiased review.

This story really pulled me in with its lyrical style and the secrets being uncovered from the past to the present. This was a little bit creepy and very much a fantastical story.

It was very hard to put down as I felt like I was running out of time with Paul due to his illness. He is looking for someone to care for his granddaughter, Pearl, and he needs them soon. So he decides that he and she will go back to his hometown, where he had forty years ago ran away from. But things are not quite the same, and everything is eerie and the people he meets are a bit off putting and those he knew have changed. There are many secrets and I like how as he reminisces about the past his memories are a little bit more focused and he sees things he had not before.

This is not a horror story by any means, but I did not want to read it at night, as I said there is a layer of creepiness woven in. This story reminds of the George Macdonald book At the Back of the North Wind and the past ambience and friendships I found in the show Stranger Things. This really was a unique story that kept me riveted and I can't wait for more from author Smucker's pen.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher Revell through Interviews and Reviews. I was not required to post a positive review and all views and opinions are my own.

Interesting book. I think this is the first novel by Shawn Smucker that I have actually finished. Mostly, they have been too far fetched for me. I would recommend this to others.

I can always count on Shawn Smucker to tell a tale that seems simple and straightforward, yet I find myself thinking about it long after I’ve finished the book. On the surface, The Weight of Memory is a tale about Paul and his granddaughter, Pearl, returning to Paul’s hometown of Nysa, which he left decades before after the death of his wife. The story weaves the past and present to create a story about the true meaning of family and the places we come from, as well as the lengths we will go to to reach the truth. I appreciate the gentle way Smucker brings God into his books, as well. Pick up this book and be prepared to think.

Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.