Reviewed in Big Gay Fiction Podcast #330

Jeff: But it’s been kind of the summer of memoir for us. And this one just fit so much into the things that we just love.

We are both big fans of James Whiteside, who is a principal dancer with the American Ballet Theatre. We’ve seen him perform a number of times at Lincoln Center in New York City, as well as seeing some of the performances he created online during the pandemic. We were super excited when it was announced he was writing a memoir. “Center Center” released just a few weeks ago. And honestly it’s just simply wow in every sense of the word.

In “Center Center,” James not that only tells stories about his decade plus journey to becoming a dancer with ABT, with all sorts of ups and downs and sideways journeys, but we also look at his other creative personas that he’s actually named. There’s a musician named JBDubs, and a drag queen called Ühu Betch. Reading about James’s pursuit of the ballet dream was so inspirational, how he kept driving forward from the time he was even a preteen to get what he wanted. But, we also see how he wouldn’t compromise for that goal either. I really admired how he set his sights on what he wanted and he kept at it.

And it’s really interesting to see how many of the stories, stories of his family, of boyfriends, and other events in his life are heavily influenced by his work and life as a creator. Some of these stories are bittersweet and sad, such as his telling of his mother’s passing. But then there are others that are absolutely hilarious like his flight from hell experience that turned into a chapter called “Stranded in Casablanca, The Pussycat Dolls Musical,” because yes, if you’re going to have a bad flight experience, why not turn it into a musical. We’ve all had those super bad travel experiences and James’s is especially horrible and yet, in fact, made better because he spun that chapter into this musical. And this chapter is actually done as a script. So it’s really an innovative way to tell a story within this memoir.

While so much of this story relates back to his pursuit of ballet and other creative interests, there’s also the story of a gay boy growing up, coming out, dating, figuring out how all of this fits into his life with his family and friends and, and yes, his work too. I really loved how he lays everything out, the good, the bad, the sloppy, and even things that I would call downright dangerous.

There’s a couple of segments that really highlight that such as getting a project called “The Tenant” off the ground. That was one of his projects away from ABT in some experimental dancing and oh my God, the things that he endured for his art sometimes is just really insane. And then there’s the last chapter of the book, about a trip that he made with friends one summer out to the Pacific Northwest, that is kind of just one side of what could become like an American Horror Story installment, because there’s some really crazy stuff that goes on there.

In the acknowledgements to the book, James thanks his mother for quote, instilling in me a sense of freedom and curiosity, and a general indifference to normal. And I think that this really sums up the stories that James tells here so well. You could just see those qualities that make him thrive and kind of are the driving force to what he does and what he documents in the book.

I really loved getting to read about one of my favorite dancers and to learn a little bit more about how he approaches creativity in life. There’s even some interesting areas of the book, where he talks about how he came to grips with the fact that he didn’t have the quote dancer’s body unquote, and how he started to spin that to his advantage and to understand the whole, the body image thing that so many people can get caught up in.

Plus all of the things that he describes, why he has these other creative pursuits, the musician, the drag queen, and how it all kind of comes back to form who James is. All of that creativity was just so wonderful. So even if you’re not into ballet and have never heard of James Whiteside, I still highly recommend “Center Center” as it’s a very entertaining and enlightening look at a life that is so well lived. And I hope he writes another memoir like another, you know, 30 to 40 years down the line so we can see how everything has evolved from him, where he leaves this particular book.

Will: The thing that struck me as I was reading this is that this book is like one hundred percent James Whiteside. It’s like his stories cannot be contained within a single through line. The tales of his family and his mother, Nancy are essentially a book within a book. In the way he presents his wacky travel stories as the script for a Pussycat Dolls musical, it is all like one hundred percent James. And he also covers some really kind of dark stuff, but in his own quirky, weird, humorous way. He is definitely a storyteller.

Jeff: Yeah. You could really see this becoming like an evening with James Whiteside at a theater where…

Will: Oh, God, exactly.

Jeff: Where he tells you these stories. And you did the audio book presentation, so you actually got to hear him tell you the stories.

Will: Like I said, he’s a storyteller.

Jeff: It was really fun to read and I don’t read honestly, a lot of memoir. You’ve pretty much here on the show have heard the number of memoirs I read. And usually the ones I have read are, you know, they start with somebody young and move on to where they are. James’s story is really all over the place and the way he’s threaded these stories together to form what is “Center Center” was a very interesting look at storytelling too, and how to tell the story of a life.

So, yeah, highly recommended. And in fact, I’m super excited to tell all of you that James is actually going to join us here on the show in a couple of weeks on September 13th in episode 332 to talk about this book. It was amazing to talk to him and it really intersects our love of books and dance and queer creatives, all in one big package. So hope you’ll join us for that episode in just a couple of weeks.

Full disclosure, I have known and loved James since he began dancing at the small CT studio and I am very good friends and life-long supporters of the studio owners Steve Sirico and Angie D’Valda.

This richly detailed essay collection explains who the “Man behind the Instagram Account” truly is. Like a 3 legged stool, James’s creativity and artistry is balanced by his 3 personas: ballet dancer, pop music creator, drag queen. A difficult, hard fought, yet rewarding journey, is packed with honest discovery and profound heartbreak. I especially was moved by his family history and can attest to its authenticity.

I am fully aware that the unvarnished story was the intent, but think that the graphic components and language will be off-putting to many readers. I sincerely hope that is not the case, as I enjoyed every word, but feel that some of the more graphic scenes and descriptions of sexual encounters will overshadow the intriguing story James has to tell. Due to the uniqueness of this book, I feel it unworthy to gauge with a starred review comparison on a platform such as Goodreads, but plan on featuring it on my bookstagram page @bookshelfbybeckwith closer to publication.

I share my honest opinion with you, and appreciate the advanced copy in exchange.

This is easy, breezy, and mostly fun, so I think my students may like it, but I found it kind of exhausting the longer it went on. I thought Whiteside started great, and the highlight was the section about his childhood and his mother's subsequent illnesses. Those sections were very thoughtful, emotional, and deeply human. I related to Whiteside when he was being vulnerable.

But then it all kind of falls apart with throwaway chapters on his pets, past hookups, and a dreadfully long, utterly pointless scene about missing a flight written in the style of a script (for a musical set to the songs of the Pussycat Dolls, for some unknown reason that truly adds nothing). That no editor thought to say "this isn't funny, and it's kind of annoying to read" is beyond me.

Center Center does move quickly and is mostly entertaining, though!

In Center Center, readers are gifted an insider's view of the world of dance, and ballet specifically. Told by a gay male dancer, this memoir provides a much-appreciated glimpse into a profession that many associates only with women or hypermasculinity. Reading about Whiteside's experiences was an utter delight.

"I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats!"

James Whiteside, principal dancer with ABT, has written a personal memoir about growing up gay, a professional memoir about becoming an artistic athlete, a creative memoir about his expansion and personal expression of his craft, and a meditation about growing wiser through all the difficult changes getting older brings- all in the same book. The stories are told with empathy, understanding, and a wry and sardonic humor that engages the reader from the very first pages.

James describes vividly and meticulously the process of becoming a professional dancer. His path was rocky and he is open and honest about his disappointments and successes. The same can be said about his writing about growing up gay, his relationships with his family, and relationships with the men in his life. His frustration with the heterosexual pigeonholes for male ballet dancers inspires his creation of alternate personas and avenues for himself as an artist. This evolution and his subsequent involvement in the wild NYC club scene is described colorfully and joyfully.

The memorable final segment of the book, a harrowing tale of being deathly ill on tour in Lake Placid, brings the various tones throughout the book together. Recalling this frightening time on the page, he engages the reader with humor, vivid description of physical pain and emotional alienation, and finally insight to share for the future.

Center Center is a welcome addition to the ballet memoir canon, and also to the ever-expanding LGBTQA memoir canon. Bravo, James!

Center Center is a really good autobiography of James. Throughout the book are his life stories. The mistakes he has made, the choices he’s made, and everything that made him the person he is today. I loved reading about all aspects of his life. My favorite parts were his ballet and drag stories. Overall this really is a fun book to read!

I felt like happenstance that I stumbled upon this book after mere HOURS of finding James Whiteside's Instagram account. It was such a WONDERFUL memoir. His essays were an in-depth look into an utterly charming, funny, almost fantastical human. I was so thrilled to read this book!!