I'm not sure what originally drew me to this book, but once I started, it definitely fell in the hard to put down category. I identified with the main character who is an academic, moved away from home, and always felt different from her sisters. Her sisters always made the decisions and she was supposed to go along, quite a familiar dilemma. Her father makes an observation from his deathbed that leaves Nell wondering about everything.
The plot twists and turns are neatly connected yet takes your imagination on a roller coaster of an adventure. Kudos to the author for allowing me the privilege of an advance review copy and taking me along for the ride.

On his death bed Nell's father whispered to her: “I want you to know that I’ve always loved you. I never stopped, even for a second. You have to believe that. You need to know that I’ve always loved you even thought you were never really mine to love.” Stunned and having no idea what he is talking about, Nell tries to get him to explain but the morphine has taken hold by then. At the same time that she is losing her father to cancer, Nell is losing her mother to Alzheimer’s Disease. She knows that her mother’s memory is not reliable enough to ask her what her father had meant.

Packing up her mother’s house in preparation of moving her to a senior care facility, Nell finds things that she has trouble making sense of. There are photo albums of her 2 older sister’s first years, but the albums of Nell begin much later. Why would that be? She also learns that there was a boy, born between her and her next older sister, who had died of SIDS. Why has she never heard of him? An old adoption flyer is crumpled up in a ball in the trash bag. What else doesn’t see know?

The story alternates chapters between “Then” and “Now” and through them we learn of the family’s history and its secrets, those long ago and those long kept. "Lies and truth are not always divisible they do not always fit into neat, separate, compartments”.

This book was well written and captivating - I could not put it down. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thank you to #LakeUnionPublishing #Amazon.com and #NetGalley for this Advanced Reader Copy in exchange for a fair and honest review. Sale Date: October 2021

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Thanks to the publishers and Net Galley for my free e-copy

From the very beginning we know that something terrible has happened in the past to a yet unknown woman and a new born baby. The book is set as a dual timeline, between the past and present , between a mother and daughter.

As Nell the daughter visits her ailing Dad in hospital, he makes a mysterious statement that she can't seem to make sense of or shake off

The language is powerful and the books has topics that cover heavily of death, raw grief. I thought it was very well written, heartfelt and emotional.

Over the course of a few days we follow the family as their history changes and secrets are revealed.

This book definitely kept me wanting to read more and was utterly heartbreaking at points

I read this book very quickly as the story is absorbing and I really wanted to know what was going to happen to the likeable Nell, the main character. There is a lot going on in her life, her parents are both ill, she isn't sure about her boyfriend, her sisters are several years older and not very nice to her, and then suddenly she has a shock from her Dad's last words to her which throw everything out even further. You follow clues all the way through the book, trying to work out what happened, what is happening - just as Nell follows clues about her family. It's a mystery story in some senses, but without any ramping up of suspense at all as you know that the writer will reveal everything in the end and you will know eventually

I liked the structure of the book which flipped between the past and the present. I don't want to include too many spoilers, but it was interesting to get to know the young woman of the past who is also the elderly woman with dementia in the present and try to see both at the same time. Both the past and the present were interesting stories and the book has a good heart and the emotions are authentic not manipulated or manufactured. You felt someone was writing who knew these things or who had some knowledge of them.

There is a lot of sadness in this book, and some people might find the content about loss quite upsetting because you care about these characters and it's not easy to see them suffer and also you might have had similar losses in your own life which will make it hard to read. There are no villains in this book but it's a book which speaks plainly and with authority. The only thing that frustrated me was the ending. I knew it was coming and there wasn't time enough left to deal with it, but I so wanted that final scene to happen in the book and see how it played out! If you read the book you will see what I mean because so much of it leads up to that final scene and then you are left to imagine after everything had been described in great detail throughout the book to that point. I understand, though - it is best to be left wanting more and the final scene would play out in the way you'd expect and I doubt there would be any surprises. Always leave your reader wanting more!

The struggles grab you from the get-go. I was immediately invested in the family struggles. I thought telling their story in a series of back and forth between the past and present brought a deeper context to their dynamic and created more tension. It’s a book that stays with you.

This is a beautiful and haunting read. It is a touching account of family; motherhood, daughters and parents, tragedy and trauma.

The narrative is shared between Nell and her mother, Annie. Annie is speaking from the past and Nell is focused on the present day where she is dealing with the loss of her father and Annie's deteriorating mental health. A comment made by Nell's father before he died and some things her mother says, cause Nell to re-examine her life .

The novel is richly descriptive, tenderly written and contains wonderfully created characters. There are elements which are difficult to read but they are treated with respect and dignity.

I recommend The Impossible Truths of Love very highly.

Thank you to NetGalley and Amazon Publishing for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A very emotionally charged novel.... grips you from the start. Nell is in her thirties and gets a death bed confession from her father that doesn't make any sense.... on top of losing her father, her mother is suffering from dementia and begins to drop confusing comments. Loved how this novel was structured with the dual-point of views between Nell and Annie (her mother), the story slowly unfolds from the past to present. I loved this set up, as a reader each chapter pulls you into the story further and it truly kept me guessing till the end. Beckerman nailed the feelings and emotional state of Annie's loss and really captured the roller-coaster of motherhood and all that is felt. I loved how Nell kind of goes on her own scavenger hunt in her parent's house and slowly uncovers snippets of information that make her second-guess the life she has ever known and the family she thought she knew. The ending was absolutely perfect - as I said, I was guessing till the end but Beckerman took a heart wrenching topic and kind of lifted the entire mood by the end, giving you closure and a feeling of triumph for Nell. Warnings: infant loss, postpartum depression.

This was a painful but fabulous read about mum Annie and daughter Nell told in dual perspectives of Annie from prior to Nell’s birth and from Nell in the current day struggling to make sense of her dying fathers last words to her. Although I did anticipate what the underlying problem was from the start it was good to read it play out from Annie’s viewpoint and read Nell very gradually unravelling the mystery. This is a very heartfelt look at loss and family ties and the impossible situation is empathetically told.

An emotional story about family, illness and truths.
Nell is the youngest in her family and has never felt as if she truly fit in.
Her mother always doted on her and never allowed or encouraged Nell to go on class functions, and gatherings outside of her family.
But... why? Told in dual timelines we start to learn the answers.
Her father is now in the present, terminal, and has a final sentence to Nell that rocks her world as she sits at his bedside.
Her mother is not much help, as she has dementia and each day is losing more of herself.

When Nell begins her search to look for answers, she will find so much more!

Well done and definitely not what I was expecting as I read quickly to get to the answers with this woman and her family. There are many twists that kept me guessing even when I was sure I knew the end!

I loved how even while lost in dementia, we ofter can find bits of the past that come through.
This was well described and definitely heartfelt!
I truly enjoyed this book!

I really enjoyed reading this book.

Nell is the main character. She has a successful academic career at Oxford. As a child she felt left behind as her sisters were much older, and her parents had her when they were older.

Her dad is very supportive of her. She is renowned for her work in stem cell therapies. Her sisters are resentful that she moved away and are very jealous of her success and freedom. They enjoy making negative comments about her any opportunity they get.

Her dad, Bill, is in palliative care, with only a few days left. He tells her a secret that makes no sense to her. Her mum, Annie, is suffering from dementia. What help can she be?

Nell has to know the truth. We go back 35 years in time. Something tragic has happened to Annie that affects everything.

This is a poignant and intriguing story. It is very well written. I was very taken with it and read it over a short period. I highly recommend this book to others.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. (less

On his deathbed, Nell’s father alludes to a long held family secret. Her mother’s quickly advancing dementia makes it difficult for Nell to find the truth. Told in dual timelines, then and now, we see how the secret came to be but not before our heart gets ripped out in some of the most gut wrenching scenes. There were moments that felt a little predictable but overall this is an excellent story of family drama, a parent’s love, and desperation.

“Grief, she is learning, is love’s echo: it is not possible to have one without the other.”

Hannah Beckerman's novel, The Impossible Truths of Love, is compelling reading. Rather than romantic love, this beautifully written story is focused on parental love, of every kind. I hardly know where to begin. My own emotions are in such a turmoil having completed this novel, that a mere summary cannot do it justice. I loved this novel. The twin narratives, separated by time and memory, are beautifully complex and yet also incredibly simple. These are two stories of love and the secrets that families try so hard to hide. Beckerman's narrative made me wish that I could have had a re-do on parenting; while at the same time, I relived the loss of my own baby so many years ago. Dredging up those memories tells me that Beckerman's writing contains the power to reach deeply into her readers' psyche. This was a terrific novel. I want to thank the author, publisher, and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read and reveal this ARC. It was a privilege to have read Beskerman's novel, The Impossible Truths of Love.

A really thought provoking, emotional and poignant piece of writing. Tackles taboo subjects sensitively and beautifully with care and love. Just beautiful.

The Imposed Truths of Love by Hannah Beckerman

An intense read of family secrets untold. love and heartache mainly through the eyes of Nell.
Nell had always had the sense of something missing from her family , a terrible secret that has never been spoken about . On visiting her dying father he speaks about something that sends Nell off on a quest to find out the story.
I enjoyed the story which was poignant and heartbreaking at times , and it truly showed that some families are not always as they seem.

The Impossible Truths of Love explores family secrets, love, grief, and the coming to terms of them. Before Nell was born her parents suffered a dreadful tragedy that she has never known about but which affected her mother immensely. When Nell visits her father on his deathbed he makes a surprising remark that sends her off to explore the meaning of. Her mother is now suffering from dementia and her memory has failed while her two older sisters appear resentful of the fact that Nell was the favoured child and cannot throw any light on her dilemma.

Once again, a beautifully written story from Hannah Beckerman. Many thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Amazon Publishing for a free Advanced Review Copy of this book. I haven’t read this author before, but after this stunning read, I’ll be sure to check out her other stuff.

This is one of those reviews where I can’t say too much without putting in spoilers. Suffice it to say, this is a WOW read that I would have read in one sitting if life had allowed. As it was, I finished this amazing novel in two stints.

The narrative is split between “then” and “now” and follows the main character, Nell, and her mother, Annie.

Nell’s father is dying of cancer, which has taken him down at speed. Meanwhile Annie has developed Dementia. Nell’s world has turned upside down already, and then her father says something on his deathbed that changes everything she thought she knew about her life. The rest of the story unfolds from there, and the truth is revealed in stages via each trip back in time.

Here are some lines that stood out for me …

“Her breath smells tired, musty, like air that has been trapped in a room for too long.”

And …

“… the urgency creeping around the corners of her consonants.”

And …

“… bland euphemisms filling the space where her worst fears lie.”

And …

“The rest of Bill’s question hangs in the air, unsure whether it wants to settle or fly away.”

I could go on. The imagery, description, and emotion in this is superbly done. The Impossible Truths of Love gets a resounding five stars from me. Go and read this book!

***

NOTE ON RATINGS: I consider a 3-star rating a positive review. Picky about which books I give 5 stars to, I reserve this highest rating for the stories I find stunning and which moved me.

5 STARS: IT WAS AMAZING! I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! — Highly Recommended.
4 STARS: I WOULD PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER — Go read this book.
3 STARS: IT WAS GOOD! — An okay read. Didn’t love it. Didn’t hate it.
2 STARS: I MAY HAVE LIKED A FEW THINGS —Lacking in some areas: writing, characterisation, and/or problematic plot lines.
1 STAR: NOT MY CUP OF TEA —Lots of issues with this book.

3.5 stars. This is a novel of family love and to what lengths members of a family will go to keep that love strong and intact. Nell, a young woman who is dealing with her mother’s increasing dementia, hears her father on his deathbed tell her "You need to know that I've always loved you even though you were never really mine to love.” As she works with her sisters in clearing their parents’ house after her father’s death and her mother’s move to a care facility, she begins to unravel what secrets have lain hidden in her family’s past — and why they did.

This is a heartwarming story that I enjoyed. My only quibble is that some of the introspective scenes (and this novel is really a series of many introspective scenes) are far too long. All in all, though, this was a good read, and I look forward to reading more from this author.

A book of identity, family, and love. Gripping and compelling, it manages to avoid the usual tropes, and is fresh and up to date.

Packs an emotional punch right from the beginning.
A dual timeline story that works really well.
There's a lot of love in this book that shines through.
For me,I think the star of this book is solid,dependable Bill,who seemed like the best man.
Families are complicated,and this one more so than others.
Enjoyable.

4.5 stars. What a lovely, heart-rending story about the nature of identity, family, and love. I received this ARC yesterday, and finished the book today (on publication day). It was such a good book that I could not put it down.

Right before her father passes, he tells Nell, "You need to know that I've always loved you even though you were never really mine to love." Nell has no idea what her dad means, and her mom's dementia means that her mom is not reliable. Told in two timelines: Now, when Nell and her sisters are adults, their father has just passed away, and their mother is battling dementia; and Then, when Nell is an infant, the storylines converge at the end in a tangle of overwhelming love.

"When Nell’s father makes a deathbed declaration that hints at a long-held secret, it reignites feelings of isolation that have plagued her for years. Her suspicions about the family’s past only deepen when her mother, Annie, who is losing her memories to dementia, starts making cryptic comments of her own.

Thirty-five years earlier, Annie’s life was upended by a series of traumas—one shock after another that she buried deep in her heart. The decisions she made at the time were motivated by love, but she knew even then that nobody could ever understand—let alone forgive—what she did.

As the two women’s stories unravel, a generation apart, Nell finally discovers the devastating truth about her mother’s past, and her own.

In this beautifully observed and emotionally powerful story of identity, memory and the nature of family, Hannah Beckerman asks: To what lengths would you go to protect the ones you love?"

Thanks to NetGalley for the free ARC in exchange for my honest review.