I wanted to read "Better To Have Gone" because I actually had a slight connection to Auroville and was curious about it. We were living in Singapore, and every year the kids got to go away for a week with their school. My two young teen daughters went to Auroville. There is really nothing sillier than young teenage girls en masse, and they came home dramatically talking about how every room had pictures of Mother, and the place was haunted, and they couldn't sleep because of the photo of Mother in their bedroom, staring down at them.

Better To Have Gone is a story told by Akash Kapur, who grew up in Auroville and married Auralice, whose parents died there. The two met again years later in New York, and sharing such an uncommon back story, perhaps it was inevitable that they would reunite in marriage. At some point they decide to return to Auroville with their two young sons, and Akash wants to solve the mystery of his wife's parents' death.

Diane was one of the earliest Europeans to go to Auroville, and she had Auralice with one of the men she lived with. Years later John, the wealthy son of an East Coast family, came to Auroville, searching for meaning in life. Eventually he will become Auralice's father in all ways that matter. But there is mystery surrounding how John died one afternoon, and the next day Diane also died. It was a bit of a modern-day Romeo and Juliet story.

In the book Kapur talks about the creation and development of Auroville but always uses the story of Diane and John as the lens through which he studies the place. For me, the Auroville information began to drag about halfway through. It is interesting, but there is a lot of it. But I found all the personal story of Diane and Auralice, and also John, very interesting. I was amazed at the recall of people for facts so long ago. I don't know if all these info bites were from Akash and Auralice, or people he interviewed, but there is such detail for events that happened over forty years ago.

Overall I really enjoyed reading about these people who chose such an alternative, but sometimes misguided, way of life. I admit towards the end I skimmed through some of the pages about the Auroville "civil war", but only because I tend to get impatient with details. This was an enlightening read and I appreciated the effort that must have went into solving a family mystery.

In the late 1960s an intentional community was formed in Southeastern India outside of Pondicherry by a Frenchwoman referred to as “The Mother” who claimed to have achieved enlightenment. The goal was to build a town as an experiment in “human unity and transformation of consciousness.” While the town, Auroville, now has a website and a PR team attempting to attract tourists, at the time, the land was arid and spiritual naïveté rampant. Attracting people from all over the world searching to build a just and equal society, the town also attracted extremists who did not believe in traditional school or supervision for children, eschewed the medical establishment, and explained fully preventable deaths as part of the “universe’s plan.” Amongst the early inhabitants are the author, Akash Kapur’s, in-laws, who both died preventable death’s when Kapur’s now-wife was 14. This book is Kapur’s exploration of their lives and the intersection between their beliefs and the development of Auroville.

This is not a book for audio - there are too many characters to keep track of and too many political grievances and tangents briefly explored. Further, although Kapur is obviously not an objective narrator, the ending of the book left me thoroughly confused. Kapur spends the first 300 pages telling a story about an idealistic “utopian” community gone wrong - including the traumatic deaths of his wife’s parents - Kapur becomes an apologist for the community in his conclusion, arguing that Auroville is special and a wonderful place to live and raise kids. His previous descriptions of the town gave me no impression that this is a place I would want to visit, let alone live, and the “ideals” that he speaks about so reverently seem to be debunked by the naive and dangerous behavior described throughout the entirety of the book.

https://twitter.com/mallikavsen/status/1463325197155672071, https://twitter.com/mallikavsen/status/1463325201765216265

I love a communal utopia book and this one did not disappoint. What makes people join these groups especially ones so far removed from their own background? What happens to the kids of the adults who make these choices. This book really addressed all of that in a compelling way. It also talked about what happens when the leaders of these places die and the followers remain or leave.

This was a decent read. I liked the details of how the place came to be and the minutia, but it kind of lost me other than that. It took quite awhile to get through; however, I do recommend it to others who like non-fiction, semi-cultish books.

I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher through NetGalley. Opinions expressed are my own.

I'm not usually much of a nonfiction person, but I was very intrigued when I saw the cover for some reason. When I did some quick initial research, I had to find out more!

For a nonfiction book, this is written pretty well. (And by that I mean "not like a textbook.") I was definitely interested in the story and the history of the village, etc. as well. I didn't particularly enjoy the preach-y aspects when it came to the environment and such, but that seems to kind of be expected, given the creation of the community and such.

An interesting read, even if you don't like nonfiction.

Better to Have Gone is a non-fiction book about a village in India called Auroville. In 1968, the village was founded, and it was a barren land where people from around the world gathered in hopes to create a better society. The Aurovilians are a hard working people with incredible grit and determination. Working together and through much sacrifice, they transform the barren, parched earth into a flourishing forest complete with new animal wildlife. The members work hard each day in the belief that they are making the world a better place and dig deep spiritually through the practice of yoga. However, all utopians are not perfect. Two members of the community end up dead. What led up to their deaths?

This book was extremely interesting especially as a non-fiction work which is bound by a certain set of facts. It was like Dune, Jonestown, and a mystery all rolled into one! It was written in a way which was really intriguing, and I wanted to know more. It also spoke about the environment and working for a cause greater than oneself. Especially in these turbulent times, it is easy to imagine how people would be attracted to a quest for deeper meaning and making a real difference in the world. Previously, I had never heard about Auroville so this work was truly unique. It is incredible how so much has been accomplished in terms of enhancing the environment as well as constructing the village.

The author was very articulate, and it was clear that he spent a great deal of time researching this book. He also had a number of photographs in the book as well which were a real delight. There were also some great quotes that I would love to share upon final publication.

Overall, this is an amazing non-fiction book that you should read especially if you love Dune and/or Jonestown.

I’m a student of utopian history, mostly in the US. While I had heard of Auroville, I didn’t know much about it. The author grew up there so has a first person ability to make the place real. I found the content fascinating but awkwardly written. The tense bounces around and the use of present tense for most of the backstory was very clunky. I wasn’t so much pulled in by the main deaths as the warts and all history of how the place came to be. I enjoyed the book but often wished it was in the hands of a more skillful writer. The images will stay with me a long time however.

I am not a believer in utopian communities or their preachings. However, I find some of them interesting to read about. I had never heard of this community in India before reading this book. I found the personal stories the most interesting. I skimmed all the philosophy stuff and the gurus of the community, focusing instead on the stories of John and Diane. I found it interesting that the author and his wife returned to live in the community and raise their family. It was an interesting read.

Gripping sad look at the small town of Aruroville a true page turner.A look at the people their connection to each other will be recommending.#netgalley#scribnerbooks

Akash Kapur has written an intimate gripping account of the tragic loss of two lives in paradise. With a forensic scientists eye he explores the deaths of his wife’s parents in a southern Indian community.

It’s the later part of the 1960’s. A time of peace, love, hippies and karmic yogis. American, John Walker and a Belgium beauty Diane Maes envision building a utopian community in Auroville. This is where Akash and his wife Auralice were raised and where her parents died tragically on the floor of a thatch hut. Deaths that have plagued his wife for years with unanswered questions.

Beautiful in prose, Kapur writes with clarity and intimacy as he unveils the atmosphere, characters and the high cost surrounding this ideological quest for perfection. The mystery and the memories gel making this a captivating and moving read.

I highly recommend this book and thank NetGalley, Akash Kapur and Scribner for an ARC in exchange for an honest book review.

Better to Have Gone is part memoir, part historical account of a utopian experiment: Auroville. Kapur blends writing styles, sometimes bringing the reader into his family's intimate experiences, and other times leaving us a step removed--seemingly witnessing an academic account of the events. I struggled with this juxtaposition. I found myself deeply engaged with the "main characters", and itching to reach their stories' climax while wading through the detailed scene setting. While I understand and respect importance of the detailed contextual web Kapur wove, I struggled to deeply engage with those portions of the book. I'm grateful to have been able to witness this story and am interested in further learning bout Auroville. Thanks for the ARC, NetGalley.

Loved the book. Heartbreaking and poignant in equal measures. There is so much that goes on in communities like Auroville that is opaque to outside observers. Kudos to the author for giving an insiders account.

I love this true crime book. It was really informative and fast read but provocative an interesting at the same time. I highly recommend this book.