I've been struggling with how to review David G. McAfee's "Hi, I'm an Atheist!: What That Means and How to Talk About It with Others," a sort of introductory glimpse into what it means to be an atheist and how to, essentially, "out" oneself in a way that is healthy and observing of self-care.

The first point to be made is likely to acknowledge that I am not McAfee's target audience for the book - I'm not an atheist and I'm not seeking to learn how to share that side of myself with others. It's pretty clear throughout "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" that McAfee is targeting his writing to like-minded individuals who've already done the work to determine themselves to be atheists even if, perhaps, they haven't decided to claim the "title" or they're in the infancy of what that means for daily life.

Now then, this opens the door to the possibility that I, perhaps, approached "Hi, I'm an Atheist" with an axe to grind and some sort of spirit-driven gleam in my eyes ready to rip it apart.

This is also not true. While I would likely identify as a Christian, though certainly on the more progressive end, I'm comfortable with atheism and have spent a good amount of my life in interfaith communities. I've never surrounded myself exclusively with like-minded individuals and as someone who is ordained have officiated weddings for atheists. I have many friends who are atheists and I embrace them for who they are.

After all, as McAfee points out repeatedly throughout "Hi, I'm an Atheist!," there are an awful lot of reasons to turn away from church and to turn away from belief in a God.

I get it. I really do.

Like McAfee, I grew up in a dysfunctional home made more dysfunctional by the presence of organized religion (in my case, I was raised a Jehovah's Witness). It was church I would eventually be kicked out of as a teenager - one of two occasions in which I was kicked out of churches.

My brother, who recently passed away, was an atheist. We were born 12 years apart and his birth was at the tail-end of my mother's journey with Jehovah's Witnesses. Our upbringing was different yet the same in many ways - yet, essentially, we decided on two different paths. It's compelling to look at the influences of birth, development, and upbringing.

Essentially, when I review a book I examine everything from writing to structure to narrative to "Does the author accomplish their goal for the book?" This goal may be stated, and certainly is here, but often is not. The narrative, however, should state it and typically does.

As a film journalist who critiques professionally, I take a rather serious approach to my reviews. It's also fairly basic:

A 5-star rating is reserved for that rare flawless literary experience. While I've become somewhat more lenient as I've begun reviewing arcs/galleys, I still hold the 5-star review to the highest standards.

A 4-star rating is a very good experience and likely my most common rating. A 3-star rating remains above average, though I have some reservations with the book. Generally speaking, I find value in the book and consider it above average but it's not likely a book I will revisit again.

A 2-star rating, as assigned here, is mostly a book I don't believe accomplishes its goals and that I didn't particularly enjoy reading. It's not a values-based review but one based in critical thought. As an example, though film-based, one of my best known reviews is an endorsement of the original "I Spit On Your Grave" film. I could easily say the actions in the film violate my values, but it's a film I consider to be incredibly well made for a variety of reasons. I believe the filmmaker accomplished, for the most part, his goals.

The 1-star review is, to me, a failing in writing and I book I simply will not recommend.

I bounced between 2 and 3-stars for "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" precisely because I do believe there's an audience for this book, though I question how much it will actually help or support them (as is part of the stated goal for the book). I'm deferring to 2-stars because, quite honestly, I think that McAfee falls short of his stated goals for the book and, at times, simply writes poorly. This may very well work itself out before the book's late 2021 release, but as someone who read an Advanced Reader's Copy (ARC), I have to review based upon what I received.

I wanted this book to succeed. McAfee correctly notes that atheism is massively understood, though the belief that many compare it with satanism is a tad histrionic.

Labeled as "the essential guide for the non-believer," "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" is a cutesie title and perhaps the friendliest thing about the entire book. It offers up a tone the book never delivers on.

In the book, McAfee notes that once he realized and accepted that he is an atheist he very intentionally set out to tell others about it - this is especially those who struggle with openly sharing their own atheism AND those who are devoutly religious.

"Hi, I'm an Atheist!" is somewhat successful at the former while a complete failure at the latter.

Beyond my reservations with co-opting the whole "coming out" phraseology (a poor and lazy literary choice), McAfee openly talks about a variety of issues he thinks relevant to the atheist who is preparing to tell the world and live openly. These conversations are hit-and-miss and most successful when McAfee incorporates both research and resources into the conversation. The book's final chapter includes a wealth of resources and is easily one of the book's highlights. The biggest concern I have is that a book like "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" should draw the reader closer to atheism. It should make the journey more compelling, more attractive, and by book's end I should easily be drawn into McAfee's life journey. Even if I don't agree with him, I should get it.

While McAfee regularly asserts being happy and well loved and having resolved early conflicts with his family, the truth is there's a negative tone that weaves its way through the tapestry of the book. It's in language usage and structure and, quite honestly, editing that feels unfinished. Again, I'm hoping this tone changes by the date of publication because right now I felt like I needed a shower after all this negativity. "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" is a relatively short read, but it's a book I had to regularly put down because of McAfee's exhausting negativity that was mostly passive-aggressive in its approach. Here's the thing - I actually believe McAfee - I just don't believe he's captured it well on the written page. While the book may provide some guidance for those who are atheist, there's nothing here that would draw someone to atheism. If someone on the fence was reading the book, I can't imagine them reading this book and going "Yep, that's the life for me."

In terms of conversations with the devoutly religious, despite his assertions otherwise McAfee regularly writes with a passive-aggressive hostility that is far from engaging and creates an environment where no one is going to listen. If this is the same attitude the professor he describes saw, it's no wonder she saw him as having an "axe to grind" and not appropriate for the program.
McAfee asserts throughout "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" that he has positive relationships with those believers and openly engages in dialogue but with the tone in the book it often feels like the conservative who exclaims "But, I have gay friends" or the racist who says "But I have Black friends." It feels oddly fundamentalist in tone. Again, this is a language and structure issue more than anything. He projects that atheists should not be feared, but essentially spends the entire book vacillating between hostility and defensiveness.

I was troubled by the fact that in discussing an experience with discrimination in the academic world that he chose to openly criticize and identify the university, who wrote a letter of apology for the experience as he requested, yet doesn't openly criticize or identify the professor involved. While I understand legal standards, it reinforces the hostile tone to openly identify an institution that made some gestures toward resolution. This story would have been more effective had he either chosen to not directly identify the institution (despite the fact it's fairly easy to figure out) and/or if he'd shared an attempt to try to resolve the concern. This strikes me, again, as a writing language issue as writers everyday are able to communicate difficult truths without violating confidentiality or crossing that legal line.

This leads to my biggest concern with the book - McAfee's atheism seems to depend entirely on Christianity/God rather than standing on its own. McAfee spends far too much of the book sharing why he's not a Christian rather than why he is an atheist. For someone who turned away from belief in god as a teenager, it seems like (or at least is written like) his entire life structure is more grounded on those negative experiences rather than positive experiences with atheism. Would McAfee's atheism exist without his early childhood experiences? For someone who openly writes that we're born atheist, I'm not convinced. McAfee has failed to cut his umbilical cord to atheism.

I'm anxious to read the final version of "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" because I'm anxious to see if my experience reading the book changes. There are other aspects of the book that I appreciate including his inclusion of an interview with Rebecca Vitsmun and the wealth of resources McAfee offers. There's a sincerity in his desire to let people know they need not go through these experiences alone and he backs up that desire quite nicely.

In the end, for me McAfee falls short in his stated goals and has crafted a book that feels incomplete and like a work-in-progress. There are some good ideas here, and certainly some needed ones, but "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" never gels into the book that McAfee wants it to be mostly, at least in my perception, because McAfee never gets out of his own way. A relatively short book, most will likely finish it in one day except for those who, like myself, grow weary of the negativity and need to set it aside from time to time.

I do reviews because I aspire to empowering authors and, indeed, I'd still say that despite the fact that "Hi, I'm an Atheist!" didn't work for me it still has an audience and here's hoping it continues to be tweaked and edited prior to publication and ends up being a book that lives up to McAfee's otherwise admirable goals for the book.