This is my first book by Morgan Lee Miller and I’m happy to say it didn’t disappoint! Miller’s writing is evocative and readable, and her characters are well-crafted, interesting, and lovable. This is a heavier romance that involves strong themes of loss and guilt, but I’d say that the overall tones are hopeful and sweet.

Surgeon Eliza Walsh (31, lesbian) is still struggling with the loss of her first love, Tess. She has PTSD and has panic attacks when certain memories are brought up, and it’s stated multiple times that she’s been to therapy. I found Eliza to be a nuanced character who’s reserved yet quirky in her own way, and I related to her journey of allowing herself to be seen. Losing Tess has made Eliza guarded when it comes to love, so she’s surprised when she starts to fall for the fun, incorrigibly flirty chef, Blake Navarro (30, lesbian, Mexican American). I smiled throughout their entire meet-cute and knew I’d end up having a good time with this book.

Blake’s voice throughout the story is distinct from Eliza’s, which was great to see. Blake is hilarious and has the kind of personality that lights up an entire room. She’s able to empathize with Eliza’s loss because she lost her brother, with whom she was very close (while Blake’s loss is definitely acknowledged, this book is more about Eliza’s loss as it directly interferes with her ability to find love). Aside from their shared feelings of grief, I thought Blake and Eliza complemented each other well: Blake is often impulsive to the point of reckless, but Eliza is there to talk reason into her when she needs it. Likewise, Eliza is often extremely cautious, and Blake is there to remind her that she doesn’t always need to be afraid.

When either of the main characters thinks about or confronts her past, the emotions are intensely palpable. There are a few flashback scenes throughout, and boy did they make me ache. The dynamics between Eliza and her estranged parents were frustrating, sad, and very realistic. On a lighter note, this book is full of delightful side characters including Blake’s entire family (gosh, I’d love to just hang out with them!), Eliza’s sister Violet and niece Emma, and Eliza’s friend and roommate Allison. There weren’t any pointlessly annoying side characters, thank goodness!

I thought the conflict was okay. It was maybe a little forced, but I thought it could be realistic considering their life situations at the time. (view spoiler)

Overall, I thought this was great and I will definitely be reading more from Miller in the future.

The plot of the book sounded very promising, and when I started reading I thought it would be a good book. However, several chapters in, I was just zipping through the story instead of reading slowly and savoring every detail (which is what we all want in a good book, right?)

The characters just seemed so one-dimensional and the way the story was told needed some work. I'm a slow burn kind of girl and don't like when "flutters" happen immediately. I like the story to work its way up to that, so I was overall disappointed.

[Content warnings: panic attacks, PTSD, motor accidents, loss of loved ones, surgery, hospitalization, homophobia, outing, conversion therapy (pray the gay away)]

I loved Miller’s YA duology ALL THE WORLDS BETWEEN US and have been looking forward to BEFORE. AFTER. ALWAYS. for months. And I wasn’t disappointed.

Dr. Eliza Walsh (31, lesbian) lost her girlfriend of four years when she was eighteen in a car accident where she was the driver. Now, thirteen years later, she is a surgeon on her last year of residency and still not entirely ready to love again. When Blake Navarro (30, lesbian, Mexican American) enters the ER with multiple fractures after a motorcycle accident, Eliza becomes intrigued by this flirty patient. After discharge, Eliza decides to take up on Blake’s invitation to Mezcal Cocina where she works as a head chef. Would it be so wrong to get to know this reckless woman?

Told through dual third-person points-of-view, the writing and emotional descriptions were great right off the bat. Their voices were distinct in the beginning but that sort of faded as the story went on. While I never really felt a lot of chemistry between Eliza and Blake, I rooted for them from the start. They were good together. Both of them have lost people that are important to them—Eliza’s girlfriend and Blake’s brother—and the understanding they have for each other on the subject of grief is wonderful. Miller captured the froze-up brain of panic attacks well and the trauma of losing loved ones was palpable through the thoughts and narrative. There is always a sense of longing in the sentences.

The story is a little bit more about Eliza making peace with her past, her experience of losing her love at eighteen and her nine-year estrangement with her parents, than about Blake. We have the contrast between the Walshes, who seem to be not understanding of Eliza, and the Navarros, who are very invested in Blake’s personal life. I like that Blake’s heritage is clearly acknowledged given that she is a head chef at her uncle Hugo’s Mexican restaurant. During the read, I had to order some burritos and chips with guac because all the food Blake was cooking made me so hungry.

The conflict was pretty dramatic. To be honest, I’m not sure why it blew up the way it did; it felt less like not talking and more about them not listening to each other, but I felt both of their frustrations and anger that it didn’t end up as a surprise. I also like how it didn’t happen too late into the story and the ending didn’t feel rushed. Most of the things I could see coming from miles away so none of the events seem too random. Could it have been avoided? I don’t think so. Loss is such a central theme that a dramatic conflict was the only way to wake the both of them up.

Miller tackled the tough subject of grief in BEFORE. AFTER. ALWAYS. It didn’t feel too painful reading, but all the emotions were there. The story between Eliza and Blake is mostly cute, and after all the suffering they endured through losing people they loved, they deserved the very sweet and happy final chapter.

This was a really good book. Kept me engaged and reading to the very end. I can understand where the author was going with this when she wrote it. Yes, it's about grief, but it's about so much more than that too. I could feel the anxiety, hopelessness, loneliness, and love in this story. When you have people who are intolerant or ignorant of how their words and actions affect others especially if they are your children then you can do so much damage that it's hard to even have a decent adult life or move on is really heartbreaking. I was happy to see that in this story that Eliza had a sister and friend that supported her through some of her tougher times, and her feelings for Blake in the midst of overcoming some of her challenges was great to see. Blake and Eliza the main characters were so sweet and loving to each other and the supporting characters were just awesome. I loved every chapter of this book, and will definitely be looking out for more from this author.

Unfortunately I had to DNF this book because i simply couldn't get into it. My main problem was that both the characters and the writing style seemed very juvenile and more like a fanfiction than a book, and I found my focus wandering while attempting to read it. I do appreciate the sapphic rep, however, I just couldn't get past the almost immature behaviour of the two main characters, They felt a lot more teenager-ish (YA) than the adult age they were written as. Perhaps it gets better as the book develops, but I'm not invested enough to find out. I'm sure there is a target audience that could love this book, it just wasn't for me.

This is my first read by Morgan Lee Miller and I can see the potential in the story and the writer, but in this book, it was just a bit off the mark for me.

As a person who is sadly very familiar with loss stories like this one are very emotional for me because they either hit close to home, or they miss the mark and annoy me. Before. After. Always. falls somewhere in between. When you are familiar with a certain subject it influences how you enjoy a book and look at what is going on. In any other romance I'd say the story of Eliza and Blake is sweet, however, the narration of their loss and their story just doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like the author at one point maybe decided to switch the story from the first-person POV of Eliza to a third person of both mains. But Eliza remained the main focus and Blake doesn't get the attention I think is needed. Most things about Blake are narrated first and told by Blake to Eliza after, this makes for weird reading. I do like both characters, they are passionate about their careers and are really cute together, they complement each other. Level-headed and slightly overthinking everything doctor Eliza and chef Blake who goes through life at 100 miles an hour searching for the next adrenaline rush. Both just want a woman to fill their heart and understand the pain of their loss.

Blake lost her marine brother to the war in Iraq and Eliza lost her girlfriend in a car accident. What is confusing for me is how long ago these events happened. Blake's brother died between 17 and 19 years ago and Eliza's girlfriend 13 years. The blurb made it seem like their losses were more recent. Continuity is a bit off in the book as well that's a real nuisance. Also Eliza's sister is her best friend and a therapist, how come this family is so shattered and no one is trying to make amends? Makes no sense...

Look, I'm probably being extremely critical because of how I feel about the subject of loss. Some parts of the book were enjoyable and as I said I like both characters. Please read other reviews of this book to decide if it is for you or not.

Eliza Walsh is a chief resident at Bellevue Hospital in San Diego, California. Thirteen years ago she was driving a car that was involved in an accident that killed her girlfriend/fiancée, Tess. Her life hasn't been the same since. With the exception of her studies and her career, Eliza, has been drifting through life and hasn't had any close relationships and has drifted apart from her parents.

Blake Navarro, a chef at a family Mexican restaurant, is brought to the hospital where Eliza works with yet another reckless injury, this one involving her motorcycle, Giselle. Eliza treats Blake's injury and does surgery for her broken leg. There is an immediate chemistry and connection between Blake and Eliza that especially overwhelms Eliza. Although I won't reveal how, Eliza and Blake connect a few weeks later after Blake is no longer Eliza's patient.

I connected with this book on a number of different levels including the characters, the grief of loss that both Eliza and Blake were suffering, and how it takes time for a heart to heal. I thought that this was a well developed story that included both Blake's and Eliza's families. The progress of their relationship and their relationship issues felt real including the miscommunication. I would recommend this book to others. 4 stars

I received an ARC from Bold Strokes Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

NetGalley ARC Educator 550974

Grief can cripple you, change your world and how you love. This is the story of two women whose experiences and lives were changed in an instant. Together they help each other through waves of grief, reconnecting with themselves and family, and finally love.

If you are grieving, this book may be hard to read or might trigger you. It is a good book and a one sitting read. The author is very descriptive and takes the time to develop the story.

Potential not seen through

I picked this book up as I absolutely loved the previous book I read by this author. And this book had so much potential! The beginning of this book had me hooked yet, somehow along the way, I started to be less engaged. By the end, instead of feeling elated at the immense HEA, I just felt disappointed.

I’m unsure what went wrong. I mean, long-term effects of PTSD is a thing and therapy doesn’t always help with completely taking away the anxiety and panic attacks, although it should help in easing them. Especially after a certain amount of time has passed. Eliza most definitely doesn’t have CPTSD (Complex PTSD), as that, as its name suggest, is a far more severe form of PTSD, caused by years of repeated trauma in childhood. Yet Eliza has never moved on from a severely traumatic event when she was eighteen (now being thirty-one). She’s achieved so much, is accomplished in so many ways, yet part of her is still stuck in the past. It is certainly possible, but for someone who is so strong in other ways, it’s not necessarily a hundred-percent believable. It’s not to say that otherwise strong and accomplished people do not have panic attacks and suffer from anxiety, but long-term PTSD is usually so debilitating that it prevents you from pushing yourself as much as you otherwise would, strong or not.

Then there’s Blake, broken in her own ways, still sore after losing her brother. She just gets on with things, only breaking down at the anniversary of his death. Yet she is still hung up about a bad breakup with a long-term girlfriend, from about the same time ago as Eliza. Blake has had a few short-term flings, but nothing serious in recent years, happy with that even if she does eventually want more. Eliza has barely dated at all since the accident, just going through the motions a few times hoping to find a spark.

How these two come together, through the understanding of loss, is cute. And when they eventually decide to call each other their “girlfriend”, that’s cute too. Yet their strange bout of miscommunication, not understanding each other, that wasn’t. Every relationship goes through it at some point, yet it was the lack of communication between the two that left me banging my head. They’re both stuck in their own world with their own fears, and neither wants to tell the painful truth of why they’re hurt. It takes yet another traumatic event to bring the two back together again.

I guess that parts of the story felt slow. Other parts felt predictable. Then there were little bits of repetition. Tension is good, but even the tense parts didn’t feel tense enough. I still had moments of rooting for both of them, with their slow progress towards going further in their relationship, yet something was still missing. I wish I could be less vague, but sometimes a book just doesn’t click.

All in all, not a bad read, but not as great as I was hoping.

Final rating: ★★★☆☆ – Sort of liked/OK

*I received a free digital ARC via NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.*

Good, but Not Great
Eliza is a Chief Resident at a busy hospital. She chose to become a trauma Dr after an accident left her fiancée dead thirteen years before. Since then, she has closed off her heart, unable to get past the loss. Blake is the head chef at her Uncle’s restaurant. Although she lives life to the fullest, she still feels the loss of her older brother who died in Iraq. A motorcycle accident brought the two women together and slowly the women get to know each other, bonding over the loss of a loved one. As they begin to fall in love, they begin to heal, but when pressures of the past and the future start to mount, will they have what it takes to stay together?

I liked this book for the most part. It was well written and interesting with characters who are very easy to care about. I loved watching these two women get to know each other and connect on all levels. There are all kinds of feels in this story and I found it moving and genuine, but there are believability problems for me… My main complaint is that no one really talks to each other… Eliza is estranged from her parents for nearly a decade when a simple conversation would have cleared up everything, Eliza and Blake break up over something so little that listening to what the other was saying would have kept them together, all the conflict was self-inflicted… another thing that bothered me, which is really silly, is that they both blush a LOT! Too much for me to believe and then later they don’t blush at all when they face new things that would have made them blush earlier…. This isn’t the best work by this author but I didn’t hate it and I would read it again. I hope this helps.

I feel like a lot of people's enjoyment of this book will be related directly with how much they dislike conflict based upon miscommunication.

With that said, I enjoyed Before. After. Always. Very much.

I've been a fan of Morgan Lee Miller's since the All The Worlds Between us books. I really enjoyed them and appreciated how she handled character growth over those two books, And when I saw she was writing a book about two very hurt people coming together and healing, I was very excited as I'm a sucker to see people heal.

Both Eliza and Blake are dealing with extreme loss in their lives, Eliza from the loss of her long time girlfriend (and subsequently her family), and Blake with her brother. And this has put them both into a long term stage of arrested development. And it's after they meet and are drawn to each other where they feel comfortable enough to open up to each other and begin to grow and heal.

And I'm going to be honest, I'm a feeler, and a cryer and this book had me in my feelings in many different occasions. This book was incredibly touching throughout and I really enjoyed it and how it explored broken people healing.

There is the main conflict though. And it is based primarily upon miscommunication and Blake and Eliza not listening to what the other really wants. This is kinda difficult to get through. Miscommunication definitely isn't among my favorite tropes as a reader, but also I get why it works in this book- and it's because of what these characters have been though in their respective pasts and the walls they instinctually can put up. So while I didn't love it exactly, I do understand it here. <spoiler> and on a personal sidenote, I definitely have gone through a breakup asking someone to move in with me before she was ready. Oops. </spoiler>

I liked this book, And quite a bit actually. It hit my heartstrings hard and had lovable characters. 4.25/5

<i> Thank you to Bold Strokes Books and Netgalley for providing me this ARC in exchange for an honest review </i>

A great book with some angst. Eliza a chief resident at Bellevue Hospital suffered a devastating loss as a teen.
Blake is an award wining head chef who was involved in a motorcycle accident and is Eliza's patient

Both main characters are totally the opposite of each other. Eliza is cautious and suffers from some PTSD whereas, Blake is fun, easy going, open and take risks.. They share one thing in common. Blake has also suffered the loss of her brother.
This was an easy read and the story flowed smoothly. However I must say I was surprise it took so long for Eliza to connect with her parents.


Thank you NetGalley and Bold Strokes Books Inc for this ARC.

A beautiful romance starts with an accident. Eliza is a surgeon and Blake a chef. When Blake is insured on a motorcycle accident, she is treated by Eliza and sparks began. The plot of this book is good with both Eliza and Blake being broken and lonely. The characters are completely opposite. which makes love an interesting problem. Each bring their own baggage with emotions both good and bad. I enjoyed this book and would recommend this book for romance lovers.

This is the most frustrating book I’ve read in a while. There’s so much potential but I almost dropped it several times. I didn’t because this is my fourth book by this author and I had faith in her.

At eighteen, Eliza Walsh lost everything: the love of her life, the plans they had made for their future, her respect for her parents. Thirteen years later, as she enters the last year of her residency, Blake Navarro, an easygoing and very talented chef, makes her experience feelings she hasn’t known since she was a teenager. Not only is the spark she’s been looking for – and dreaded at the same time – in full bloom, but through Blake’s welcoming family, Eliza comes to realise how much she misses her own parents.

Seriously, people, talk to each other. And listen. Communication goes both ways. You know, I love second chance romances and one of the reasons I do is that authors have to work hard to make me believe that what once went wrong can now go right. The second chance in this novel isn’t romance, it’s the relationship between Eliza and her parents, and the reason they’ve been estranged is so fucked up it made me cringe. I’m not saying it’s not plausible, because life can fuck up too, but damn, it’s frustrating. In real life, I don’t do regrets, or not much. I move forward. I don’t believe in dwelling on the past (my anxiety doesn’t always agree but I treat that as an epiphenomenon). I learn and move on. If I read a book about time wasted, I need to believe it was worth it. I’m not entirely convinced here. I can, with a little effort, persuade myself that it works because Eliza was so young and in so much pain at the time.

Another issue is the redundant commentary that makes some sentences feel like more tell than show even though the showing is there too. A good example of that is how Blake got into cooking: the reader is told the story, then a couple of pages later, Blake tells it to Eliza in almost the same words.

All this made it rather difficult to get – and stay – into the story. I’m glad I didn’t give up, however. The characters are wonderful. I loved both MCs at first sight and the secondary characters are fantastic too. They’re mostly family and I wish Malai, Blake’s best friend, played a bigger part.

And the Christmas moment is beautiful and so moving. Every interaction with Eliza’s parents brought tears to my eyes. A book that makes me cry is clearly worth reading and I’d recommend it even if only for those moments.

I received a copy from the publisher and I am voluntarily leaving a review.

This is the first book I read by this author. I loved the title and its connection to the story.

Eliza, 31, was the chief resident of a hospital in San Diego. Her career was her life and basically had little or no social life. She wanted to have a special someone in her life, but the devastating loss of her first and only love, her high school girlfriend, continually lingered on her mind and in her heart for the past 13 years. Eliza also suffered from PTSD as a result of that deadly car accident.
Blake, 30, was head chef at her family’s restaurant, and like Eliza, suffered from the loss of a loved one. Blake was also a risk taker. She loved the thrills of riding her motorcycle, but unfortunately her latest ride ended up with a visit to the hospital and a much needed surgery by Dr. Eliza Walsh. Blake was instantly captivated by Eliza, and so was Eliza with her. When they were no longer doctor and patient, they began to see each other. But overcoming the aftermath of the heartbreaking past proved to be more difficult than either woman realized.

For some reason, it took me a while to become invested in these characters’ lives. The first few times they interacted, they reminded me more of teenagers than adults. But that changed as the story progressed. Eliza’s hidden pain began to surface resulting in emotionally driven scenes, especially between Eliza and her estranged parents. Eliza needed to confront the past hurts, both the before and after, in order to move forward and live in the present. Those interactions were sad but also heartwarming.

I liked how the author used flashbacks to explain the depth of Eliza’s love for Tess and how it was almost torn apart by ignorance and hate. These flashbacks allowed the readers to fully understand Eliza’s struggles with committing to a new love. I also really liked how this part had closure with a strong emotional depth to it that can only be experienced by such a deep loss.

Overall, I found the loss storyline interesting and emotional. It felt realistic and very relatable. Some stories are engaging right from the start. Other need time to develop, like this one. But once it happened, it became a very good read.

An ARC was given for an honest review.

An OK read. Some angst but not overwhelming. Past issues with a set of parents resolved (misconception on MC's part rather than perceived transgression). Miscommunication on part of both MCs leads to unhappiness but is subsequently resolved.

Before. After. Always. is a great book. Eliza is reeling from a devastating loss in her teens. Blake is also healing from the loss of a close family member. This hits home as I lost someone this year and it is a great book not only about romance, but learning to live again and still cherish those who departed this world too soon.

3.2 stars for Before. After. Always.


The story is about how to heal from trauma, how to trust again, and 'attempt' to move on with your life after a loss. The book was ok, some parts felt a little unnecessary and in parts slightly predictable. Nothing massive happens, and I felt myself losing focus in some areas of the story. But it's a lovely outcome, with getting the chance to reconnect with loved ones.

This was my first book by Morgan Lee Miller, and I look forward to reading further books by her.
I was given a copy for an honest review.

Eliza and Blake knows what loss is and how hard to get over it.

Eliza is chief resident where she meets patient Blake they go out to dinner where they both learn they suffer great loss as they get to know each other they start to heal.

I like the character of Blake she was flirty and didn’t push Eliza she let her open up when she was ready. Eliza who finally found someone where she can be seen and understood felt like she can breathe. Eliza relationship with her parents took awhile to heal despite having her sister as mediator well I say barely reconcile.

Overall a good read although some parts I felt the characters weren’t acting their age which I assume they are in their thirties I don’t know maybe it was dialogue that felt like they were much younger.

I received an ARC copy of this book from the Publisher via Netgalley and voluntarily leaving my review.

Eliza Walsh is chief resident at a hospital in San Diego. Her life is stunted by a car accident that took her girlfriend's life before they left for college together. She achieves in her medical skills but not much else. Blake Navarro enters her world as a flirting patient. Later Eliza takes her up on an offer to have dinner at the restaurant where she is the head chef. Blake has known loss too with a brother who died serving in the Marines. As Eliza opens up to Blake their friendship and attraction grows.

I liked how the author shows two people dealing with grief differently. Blake is wonderfully patient in not demanding more than Eliza can share. I like Eliza, but she is still in a PTSD world, that is surprising for so long after the accident and years of therapy. I can’t imagine how she is surviving in SO CA and not choosing to drive. And I was also surprised at how long it has taken to give her parents another chance, especially with her sister as a connector. I cheered for Blake and Eliza coming together as a couple and particularly love the few sentences where they declare themselves girlfriends. But overall there isn’t a lot of happiness to make the book more enjoyable. Eliza barely has reconciliation with her parents when the dark moment arrives with Blake over their futures. Thank goodness the epilogue left me happy and believing in their HEA.

I like the book overall and it is a sweet romance. But know that dealing with grief is a driving force to the plot. (This isn’t a surprise, it is in the blurb.). Thank you NetGalley and Bold Strokes Books, Inc. for an ARC ebook in exchange for an honest review.