Divided into three sections, the first part, Loss, is spectacularly beautifully written and poetic. It’s about the loss of her father, who had been ill for many years, which in no way blunted the grief she felt afterward, but it’s also about how much of life is about loss. Sometimes things that are just irritating to lose like keys and phones and wallets, but also the much bigger things that can’t be replaced. I highlighted so much of this memoir because of the insights and gorgeous writing.

It’s not written linearly. She’ll be writing about the grief that continued to hit her in waves after her father died, and then go into scientific explanations about all manner of things.

The second section of this book is about falling in love with the woman who would eventually become her wife, and the wonders of finally finding love several months before her father died.

This is a memoir from a smart, well-educated person intended to be read by smart, well-educated people. The first part alone makes it worth the although the entire book is compelling and wonderful.

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book, which RELEASES JANUARY 11, 2022.

What a powerful story. This book has stuck with me for awhile. As someone who has had to deal with death this one hit hard. Definitely a great read.

I too lost my father in the past year, and when I saw this memoir I was immediately drawn to it and also afraid of it. Turns out I was right on both counts...

Schulz understands loss, and she encapsulate what it means to lose in a profound sense that is moving and devastating and marvelous all at the same time. I had to read this one in small fits and starts because I simply couldn't go through page after page because of all the emotion it stirred up. It is a beautiful book about the cycles of life. The loss sections resonated with me profoundly. The sections about finding - hope, optimism, love, a new way of looking at life - are also beautifully written but were more difficult in some ways for me to read right now, because they were not as immediate for me emotionally.

This is a powerful read.

I was not initially prepared to read Lost & Found. My first attempt to read this memoir came while my own mother was in the hospital facing possibly her last days. Now that time has passed since those uncertain days, I was hopeful when I began again reading this personal memoir. I would have loved a memoir about the author's father's life. He was such an interesting man and appears to have lived a remarkable life. This memoir felt almost invasive at times as I was reading. The emotions are so near the surface. I didn't come away with anything from reading what is at times a wandering exploration of her father's death and her finding her partner.

Perhaps this book is too personal for me as well. I recognize the impressive writing of the author. Unfortunately, I had to push through to finish.

Thank you Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group for the e-arc.

The author is clearly a talented writer. But, this one didn’t hit for me. Quite depressing and rambled. Cathartic for the writer, less so for the reader.

This book beautifully captured the events of losing her father and finding love of her life and I liked the message it is trying to convey that we are not in a controlling position but an observing position of the life events that happen to us. Felt like reading a personal journal of a good friend who also happens to be a great writer.

This was so beautiful! I was captivated right away. The author had such a profound way of describing the struggle between happiness and grief coinciding.

A beautifully written memoir.
Kathryn Schulz shares the highs and lows of her emotional journey; the discovery of a new love followed eighteen months later by the loss of her father.
Her father, a Jewish refugee, funny, brilliant, charismatic and absentminded is losing things as she is losing him. The pitfalls of her grief and the weaving of the highs of her relationship with her partner, so well suited to her reveal a sensitivity that is telling, profound and one that each of us will identify with at some point on our own personal path.
I read this book slowly and thoughtfully. It is touching and revealing. I laughed and cried and felt great joy and sadness in the acknowledgement that this is life. This is the mixture of who and what we are and how we learn to cope and to heal.
Many thanks to NetGalley, the author and to Random House for an ARC in exchange for an honest book review.

Oh I just couldn’t finish this- I think I need a better head space to read this- very sad and depressing. Also I could not adjust to he authors writing- it was very rambling and I felt like I needed a break every few pages.

Vicissitudes and Viewpoints

The memoir opens with a loss and history of her beloved father, a Jewish refugee. He was brilliant, sometimes a lawyer, misplaces everything and had a sense of humor. Smart man, passed it on to his two daughters.

The book evolves into the author’s acceptance of loss and her gracious acknowledgment of new beginnings, one being a new partner aka marriage.

The writing is excellent but there was no revelations for me in terms of her writing (she writes for the New Yorker, Pulitzer Prize recipient). She has all the credentials. Not her fault, but I needed more excitement in this memoir.



My gratitude to NetGalley and Random House for this pre-published book. All opinions expressed are my own.

I’m not sure what this book is about. It starts with the author grieving for her father. Then it looks back at how he was always losing things. But I don’t know what conclusions the author was drawing. It’s kind of rambly.
I the second section, which is on “finding”, she talks about her own magical discovery of her life partner (whom I think she later loses). But again, I’m not sure what the point of her story-telling is. I guess it’s that sometimes you find things unexpectedly.
This is a memoir and reflection, something I didn’t know when I requested the book. Even so, I just didn’t find it engaged me. I made it through half the book before I gave up. Perhaps someone else will find it is just what they need.

The foundation of Lost and Found is an essay which appeared in The New Yorker Magazine called “When Things Go Missing”. It is a superb essay, both entertaining and profound. Schulz weaves stories of her father losing things, why other people lose things and finally the loss of her father. Unfortunately, when transplanted as the “Lost” part of the book it did not take root. I think the reason for this is the material Schulz added regarding grief and loss. It was as if someone decided that Munch’s The Scream would look ever so much better with the facial features drawn in.

There is no question that Schulz has a wonderful, searching intellect. Her writing style is almost Talmudic, starting out on one subject, digressing to another and then, pages later, returning to the first in some surprising way tying the two together . However, I became weary making my way through the padding, refreshed only when coming to a quote from C.S. Lewis or Elizabeth Bishop.

The Found portion of the book is more successful. Schulz meditates in wonder how she came together with a woman so perfectly suited to her. The story of their partnership radiates with happiness. Alike in so many ways, different in others, C. is a perfect complement to Schulz. C., also a writer, also highly educated, is a Christian with deep roots in the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Schulz understands that in order to fully describe C. she must also do justice to the Eastern Shore which she does with lively, descriptive prose.

Schulz at one point realizes that C. is the intellectual doppelganger of her beloved father. This would have been a more successful book had it spent more timehighlighing the lives of these two people, separated by decades, personal history and gender but united in intelligence and their love of Schulz. I received an ARC of this book from Random House through Netgalley.

Wow! What a beautiful book! I am not usually a fan of nonfiction or meditative type books but this one hooked me. I dipped in to get a quick sense of the book and wound up sitting down and finishing the first part at a most inconvenient time.

The structure of this book works so well. Lost, then Found, and then And. The structure has its own sense of growth from lost and sad to found and happy and onto the idea that community is where life is best. The writing is mesmerizing and her musings on grief were innovative, creative, real and heartbreaking. There were so many gems regarding grief that I need to purchase a hard copy so I can do my underlining and highlighting. I reread a few paragraphs so masterful was the prose. The very fiction genre like story was a lovely addition to the second part, Found. This author can write and is a wonderful teller of tales. The last part fed my love of learning, and I am grateful at the world history and new vocabulary I picked up to add to my general knowledge of our planet. As mentioned, I normally shy away from such material, but the writing carried me through, and I knew I was in good hands. I love that I learned some etymology too!

Her father comes alive on these pages, and I had no problem visualizing his life even while he was dying. As does C, and the treatment and meditation on love, relationships, marriage, religion, was insightful and lovely. The author herself is a character I want to be best friends with; she is so human and real. I appreciate her sharing so much of her inner life. How brave!

The combination of really good story telling along with straight up information and meditation with a good dose of philosophy works SO well in this book. If you love language and life, you will enjoy this book. Big questions are considered, and all angles are explored. I do hope to see a lot more from this author and hope she writes a novel for me soon!

Thanks to NetGalley, Kathryn Schulz and the Publisher for granting my wish to read this book. It was SO appreciated. What a gift!

Thanks to Netgalley and Random House for the ebook. This is a very smart memoir about love and death. The author, a New Yorker staff writer, meets the love of her life eighteen months before her beloved father passes away. How to deal with the greatest happiness while trying to deal with crushing grief? The author gives us loving profiles of her family, her wife and her wife’s family, but also expands out to how history and some of her favorite authors have also dealt with love and death. An observant and very thoughtful book.

I finished this book and waited a while before doing my review. There is so much to take in and process in this book and the writing is beautiful. I really like how the author split the book into three very distinct sections. Part primer on grief/grieving and part love story.

I highlighted (digitally) so much of the first section (LOSS) to refer back to and then realized that because this is an ARC it will vanish from my bookshelf in about 50 days. Ah the irony that I will lose it! I will definitely be getting another copy when it comes out next year to re-read and highlight again.

So much good stuff in there regarding loss and dealing with death. I can't quote any of it here as this was an ARC but the first section on loss could be a self-help book for people in the throes of loss/grieving. I have not dealt with the loss of my aging parents yet but this will be extremely helpful when that occurs. The author does not gloss over any of her grieving process and it was heartbreaking to read. It also was a good reminder to spend as much time with my folks as I can.

Reading this book made me wish I was part of her family and made me love her dad. I am sure that wherever he is in the Universe that he is proud of his daughter. Highly recommend this one.

Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for the ARC of this book. What a treat this was to read!

This is a poignant, insightful memoir with beautiful prose. The excellent pacing carries the reader along, but Schulz also makes you work to understand her intelligent observations. And oh my god, I look up to her so much after reading this. I found myself highlighting many passages because they were incredibly relatable. Her outlook on love, family, and life, in general, are so refreshing, and I learned so much from reading "Lost and Found". As a young lesbian writer myself, I feel so inspired by Schulz. I believe this book will appeal to sapphic readers who enjoy literary journalism, but I highly recommend it to anyone. I will definitely be purchasing a print copy of this text because I'd love to reread it in the future.

Very intellectual examination of the loss of a father and falling in love with the person who will become one's spouse. For me, it was a tough read because the emotionally charged issues were written didactically.

Moving, touching, full of emotion and truly incredible writing. We are lucky to be reading Kathryn Schultz’s work.

I totally cried my eyes out reading this. I think that memoir readers who don’t mind a sadder story will love the writing and pacing here. Truly excellent.