My husband and I read this book in anticipation of our newborn baby, the book provided a lot of really great tips and insights. We still think back to what we learned in this book, great read for anyone expecting!

As a new mom (3 month old baby), I’ve found this book so helpful mostly in the way of good reminders and suggestions because the time is passing by so quickly, making time for your relationship / partner is something you have to purposefully do (at least in my case!)

This parenting book focuses on the quality of the parents' partnership as key to their health and happiness, as well as that of their child. The author writes from a counseling perspective, with lots of good advice for how parents can navigate the major changes of parenthood while still tending to the health of their own relationship and making it a priority. She shares insights from attachment theory and from other elements of psychology, and she writes in a way that makes this information accessible to people regardless of their background with or interest in psychological concepts.

This book is easy to read, and it also feels personal, since the author shares stories about her experiences with her husband and son. The book has a casual, personable tone without being artificially chatty, and some of the advice is exceptionally good and hard to find elsewhere. I would recommend this to couples who are preparing to have children, and to those who already have kids. The author primarily targets this to people adjusting to life with a firstborn, but she mentions near the beginning that this book can also be helpful to people who are adjusting to life with a new baby when they already have children.

This book includes examples from different family structures, and many of the illustrations include LGBT couples. Personally, I found the illustrations cheesy regardless what kind of couples they represented, and some of the dialogue felt forced as the author tried to illustrate ways that an interaction could go wrong and ways that someone could approach the interaction differently or salvage it later based on the principles she has introduced. It's definitely helpful to see the concepts in action, but I found many of the examples contrived.

My other critique has to do with statistics. The author sometimes provides clear context and nuance surrounding data that she reports in the book, but other times, she brings in data to make a feminist point without providing nuance around it. For example, when she writes about the challenges that women face when returning to work, she provides statistics about working mothers' reduced earning power without acknowledging that many women deliberately, freely choose to return to work with reduced hours, or take a lower-stress job, so that they can spend more time with their baby.

I am not claiming that wage injustice never happens, because of course it does. Still, there is a tremendous difference between saying that some women face unfair obstacles in returning to work at their previous wage level and claiming that all wage differences are based on discrimination, not also women's personal preferences and lifestyle choices. The author states that "working mothers earn only 71 cents for every dollar paid to working fathers," but she doesn't cite this information, and she doesn't acknowledge that many families with two working parents bring in unequal wages on purpose, because Mom wants to spend more time at home.

I would recommend this book to people who are planning to become parents, have just had a baby, or want to continue fostering their own relationship years into having kids. This is a very helpful resource with lots of clearly explained psychological concepts and practical advice for prioritizing the couples' relationship, meeting each other's needs, and working through obstacles as a team. It's important to read it with discernment when the author makes sweeping claims without nuance, but I would definitely still recommend this.

When you are bone-tired and mentally drained from caring for a newborn (and learning what works for your newborn), you need something that's easy to understand and pleasant to read. This book delivers: The authors explain the concepts will and illustrate them with sample conversations I could totally imagine my husband and I having. It's frankly good advice for couples who don't have kids, but it will help modern couples navigate the minefield of having a child in the 21st century.

After having a baby, it’s like a bomb has gone off in your marriage. Welcome to the Baby Bomb, a roller coaster ride of a time when you go from a couple to a family of three. We get more than enough information when it comes to pregnancy, what to bring in your bag to the hospital, breastfeeding vs. bottle, sleep strategies for baby but what about information about this transition as a couple? Baby Bomb A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents by Kara Hoppe and Stan Tatkin would be one that I would add to your stack of books to read before baby gets here.
Kara and Stan tackle the main issues that occur in a marriage after having a baby from communication issues, individual needs and as a couple, finding balance and the sexual relationship. Here’s the thing; we all have styles of communication that we bring into the marriage as well as coping skills that help regulate our emotions and all is pretty fine and dandy until we add keeping a human alive to the mix. It is such an intensive time that any difficulties we had in those areas before babe, just come out three-fold. The book is very helpful in explaining these issues and emphasizes how the couple needs to put the couple first, how to work as a team and how to support each other through the parenting years.

Add this to the stack BEFORE baby gets here!

Thanks NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for the ARC