I’ve always loved this author. When I saw this on NetGalley I was so excited. It was as fantastic as the rest of her books. I can not wait for more by her!

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC of Breathe by Joyce Carol Oates.

I'm sad to say that this is the first work by Oates that I didn't love. She has utterly swept me away in her other works, but this one lost me.

It's got a strong start that really gripped me initially. A gut wrenching, short chaptered account of a woman watch her husband be overcome by a mysterious, and terminal illness. She is crippled with grief, and fear, and indecision on how to move forward, before and after she dies. The writing is haunting, and gripping, and claustrophobic.

But it's almost like there are two parts to this book, and the second part is a confusing fever dream that I could just not get into. It definitely smacked of The Year of Magical Thinking, which I honor as a part of grieving with my whole heart. But I still just couldn't get into, or much understand what Michaela, the widow, was doing. It's a shame because by the end I was almost disinterested.

Joyce Carol Oates is a wonder. Her fiction spans genres, her output, superhuman. In 2011, she broke the fourth wall and shared a searing account of her life as a widow after Raymond Smith, her husband of 47 years, dies unexpectedly from complications due to pneumonia. Now here we have a fictionalized account of the experiences of a woman whose husband dies unexpectedly. This book, which lacks the personal details of the first, is nonetheless dedicated to Oates's second husband, Charles Gross. We meet a middle aged couple who are in New Mexico on a residency, far from all that is familiar. It is told completely from Michaela, the wife's, point of view, sometimes in second person mostly in third. As her husband begins to fail irredeemably, Michalea experiences all the stages of grief, including anger and denial, fantasizing that she can save him just by the force of her will. Unfortunately, although written with Oates's undeniable skill, this is the first book of hers in a long time I've felt went on far too long and didn't seem to have a satisfactory resolution.

I have only read a couple of Joyce Carol Oates others novels and I am blown away at her diversity in writing and topics. I hate to say this book was deeply uncomfortable to read. As a happily married woman of fifteen years to my soulmate I agree with others that this felt like a ride I didn't want to be on and certainly not a topic I want to even consider in my own life. Perhaps this book could be cathartic for those who've experienced this kind of loss in life, for me I just wanted to be finished . Beautifully written, but the content hit too hard. I'd recommend this with serious caveats on trigger warnings.

This is a story of searing, uncontrollable grief, of love and loss and it’s manifestation on thirty seven year old Michaela as she looks widowhood in its face.
The unconditional love she feels for her husband Gerard and the care and attention she provides throughout his illness is not powerful enough to save his life. This journey of mourning and the devastation that lies in it’s wake was very emotional for me. Knowing that a loved one is catastrophically ill and realizing that you are helpless is something I and so many others have experienced in their lives. Michaela has the support of family, stepchildren and friends but is consumed with living her life without Gerard by her side,
Joyce Carol Oates writes powerfully and truthfully about Michaela’s ride on a rollercoaster of desolation and despair. The realities are harsh and there is no escape but the beauty of this marriage and the commitment of their love shines through..
Thank you NetGalley and Ecco Publishing for an ARC in exchange for an honest book review.

When I saw a new novel by Joyce Carol Oates in the NetGalley request list, I jumped on it! This woman is an American icon in the world of writers and I was excited to receive the NetGalley pre-release copy (scheduled for publication 8/3/21) – thank you NetGalley!

Breathe is an exquisitely written fictional story told from the point of view of an adult woman losing her husband to cancer. When I googled the book’s dedication (“In memoriam, Charlie Gross”), I learned that Charlie Gross was Ms. Oates’s second husband, to whom she was married for 10 years, and who passed away in April of 2019. This book was clearly written immediately after his passing, with what I expect are minor changes to make it fictional, such as the age of the protagonist, but with many similarities, such as the protagonist’s husband being a professor at an Ivy (Mr. Gross was a professor of neuroscience at Princeton), him having adult children from a prior marriage (as Mr. Gross does) and the protagonist being a writer (as Ms. Oates clearly is).

This book is, in its entirety, a journey of desperate mourning by a woman who cannot envision life without her husband. The fact that she has living family members and stepchildren, as well as many loving friends, does not enter the equation of her searing, mind-altering mourning in the extreme, and that makes it difficult to read.

I actually think this book should come with several trigger warnings for readers who have a friend or loved one with cancer, or who have lost someone to illness, or are even married to someone and are over the age of 50, when illness is much more prevalent. I think it is a wholly unsuitable novel for anyone in those categories, as it so frightening to read or comprehend the protagonist’s (and likely the author’s) emotional mindset throughout the book. With that said, the writing was beautiful and Ms. Oates can convey feelings like few authors can, and that is what makes it so very difficult to read.

I could forgive much about the book had it provided a glimmer of closure around 1) the situation with the man with whom the protagonist shares a coffee after meeting him in town; 2) what actually happened during the flash floods in the New Mexico canyons; 3) why the husband’s children were not called and how they possibly forgave her for that slight; and 4) her move back to Cambridge. I NEEDED CLOSURE on those things and was left with none, which made me a little angry after reading this, let’s face it, emotionally draining book.

I hope writing the book was cathartic for Ms. Oates and I hope she is on the path to emotional recovery after the death of her husband. I give 5-stars for her writing talent, but must take away stars for the lack of closure on the topics mentioned above as well as the unrelenting sadness and “fever dream” quality of the book. I expect the audience for this novel will be a small group of fans who will read anything written by Ms. Oates or are curious about her mindset after the passing of her husband. #Breathe #NetGalley

It's hard to believe that this is the first novel that I have read by Joyce Carol Oates. I will say it won't be the last.

This book WILL NOT be an easy read for many people, and because of that it might not get as many great reviews. It hits you to the core and you go through all the struggles that a couple where one is diagnosed with a terminal illness would go through - in very frank and clear detail.

It was a hard read - I do have MS myself and while not terminal I do think about what my husband and I may go through in the future. The author does have excellent writing skills and knows how to weave a story, no matter how hard the topic.

I have long been a fan of Joyce Carol Oates. Her writing is exquisite. So, when I saw that she'd written a new book, I was very excited.to read it. What a disappointment!
I found, "Breathe", to be an excruciating read.
I can't imagine younger people actually wanting to have this reading experience. And, as for older people, like myself, who may have to face the illness and loss of a beloved spouse, this was an exercise in horror. I wanted to just set this book aside, unfinished, yet plodded on. I was hoping against hope that the main character, Michaela would get through all the steps of grief and come out the other side. But Oates just left us hanging, wondering why, And I too wondered why. Why I put myself through this.
I was very disappointed..

While I am a Joyce Carol Oates fan, her newest one, Breathe, was just an ok read for me. It took me a while to get used to the writing style and it didn't flow in a way that was easy for me to follow. (I had multiple sticky notes to help me keep things straight). I did complete the novel and enjoyed the overall storyline.

If a prize was given for the saddest book of the year....
“Breathe” ....would be a running contender.

In the first sentence of the blurb description—in bold capital letters—
reads: A NOVEL OF LOVE AND LOSS FROM BESTSELLING AND PRIZEWINNING AUTHOR JOYCE CAROL OATS.....

....man ‘o man.....or women o’ women .....no two words LOVE & LOSS are more truthful and haunting than in “Breathe”.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: no two Joyce Carol Oats books are the same. Often completely different genres with varied writing styles. This distinguished author is certainly not a one trick pony writer.
Yet.... we are in the hands of a remarkable talent.

In “Breathe”, we can hear the sounds of love....and the quiet sounds of
death.

“Breathe”, not an unfamiliar story; cancer has taken people we love. Who hasn’t experienced this?
But Oats takes us places with her descriptions....allowing us to hear, experience, and examine the quiet voices of Michaela and Gerard’s fears, grief, loss, suffering, panic, rage, terror, memories, loneliness....[not shying away from grueling and graphic harsh realities]
.....so rarely expressed to the depths that JCO’s has done with ‘Breathe’.
RIGHT INTO OUR FACES....we are given nitty gritty technical aspects of how a dying body breaks down.....piercing our hearts with truth. It’s sooo frightening—- and soooo sad!!!!
Death is just not beautiful —but this powerful story - with its engrossing horrifying clinical exactness — and poetic eloquent prose — felt like an IV drip slowing moving through my veins — nourishing and supporting me in ways I couldn’t and shouldn’t fully comprehend (yet) ....

Truth is, the thought of losing MY HUSBAND to death is beyond horrifying. There is no way I can fathom being prepared for such a major loss. It’s impossible to read this book (married 42 years to a man I love wholeheartedly), and not feel shaken from the emotional storytelling.

I can definitely understand this book won’t sit well with all readers. It’s STUNNINGLY FRANK! But..... as challenging as it was to ‘feel’ my own discomfort .....I admire Joyce Carol Oats .....(more today than twenty years ago)... she simply transcends the limits of writing ....
She writes!
I reflect her words!

A few excerpts.....

“Acceleration nearing the point of impact. No time to plan what you might have planned—a more deliberate death, a shared death. For you I’ve been taken by surprise. Your brain has been stunned, it is slow to react. You are limping, faltering behind. You are being pushed out onto a stage. You are blinking, blinded by dazzling light. You have no script, no words. You cannot see an audience. You can only plead for a change in the script. For mercy”.
“I am here, I have your hand, I love you— please don’t give up . . . “

“You cannot bargain away your soul for if you had a soul, by now it is in tatters like a papier-mâché lantern battered in a windstorm. It is time for your husband to die, the medical staff has expressed amazement that he has endured so long preserving in this twilit state neither awake nor asleep, neither conscious nor unconscious; perhaps he is dreaming, perhaps he is dreaming of a frantic woman leaning over his hospital bed trying to embrace him, face wet with tears, face made ugly and contorted by tears, unrecognizable as his wife, determined to hold her husband fiercely in an embrace from which not even death can pry him”.

“I’m so sorry, Michaela. That this is happened, screwing up our time here—wherever we are. . . In New Mexico, in a beautiful place, Jesus!—me in the God-damned hospital. . .”

“Don’t leave m! Don’t leave me!—begging like a child, helpless sobbing like a child, how can this frantic women be you?— dissolving in tears, and more tears, never an end to tears, in one who’d claimed (boasted) that she rarely cried, hadn’t cried in decades, not since her parents’ deaths, a beloved grandmother’s death, emptied of all the tears but crying now whenever she is alone, whenever she is in a private place, trying not to cry in the patient’s presence because that will only frighten and demoralize him”.


Time is running out—
“decline, not rapid at first, yes but then rapid, and seemingly irreversible: weight-loss, dehydration, renal failure, the pressure of the (4-by-14 centimeter) urethral tumor on the stomach causing nausea, impossible for the patient-husband (who happens to be Gerard) to endure the strain on his organs much longer, heart, lungs, kidneys, liver; he has not eaten a meal in weeks, what seemed at first a snobbish disdain for mediocre hospital food in which (almost) one could take a kind of reverse pride has been revealed as a symptom of pathology, and not exquisite taste; even if he tries now, he cannot eat; has barely eaten at all for the past week; if he tries to swallow even soft foods he gags, if he tries to swallow even liquids he gags, he is clearly very exhausted, his ankles and wrists are badly swollen, his
urine is being retained and his
(hard, swollen) bladder, such extreme edema in itself can be lethal and so of course you must prepare yourself for the end, for his final minutes; you must prepare yourself, yet your mind drifts away in a vapor of unknowing; recall when you’d first met, at the Murray Perahia recital in Cambridge, a meeting of pure chance, introduced to each other by a mutual acquaintance who would never afterward figure in our lives”.

“Saline drip. Oxycodone drip. Dilaudid drip. Hydro morphine drip. Kidney stent. Pulmonary embolism. Adenocarcinoma Venous thrombosis.
Gastrointestinal consultant.
Gallbladder ultrasound.
Echocardiogram. CT brain scan. MRI. fMRI. Radiation, chemotherapy, immunology.
Transition to hospice care”.

So much grief and exhaustion.
Michaela McManus - a widow - needed to resume her responsibilities - move back to Cambridge.
“She has allowed herself to succumb to grief. She has allowed herself to deteriorate mentally, physically. Failed to open crucial letters and so she has failed to mail copies of her husband‘s death certificate to the lawyers office. Failed to return crucial telephone calls, emails since in the time required to even make a decision returning such calls and emails she is likely to have lapsed into an open-eyed dream recalling in painful detail how for years she and Gerard shopped together at the Safeway on Massachusetts Avenue”.

Oh Michaela.....how I felt your feelings. Your excruciating pain. And hell you were going to move forward is so hard to comprehend....so absurd, I understood when you wrote ...”life was almost laughable”.

Terrific writing .... the sensitive descriptive narrative permeated intensely human compassion.

Thank you Ecco publishing, Netgalley, and Joyce Carol Oats

This is the first book I have read by this award-winning author and I was sorely disappointed. It was a very disturbing read, both in the topic as well as the writing style. I hesitate to give negative reviews, because I have great respect for the courage and commitment it takes to be a professional writer. Unfortunately, this author’s style and intention was not a match for me – it was one of the worst books I have ever read for the following reasons.

First, the initial chapters are written in a stream of consciousness – incomplete sentences and phrases that were difficult to follow and made it challenging to engage with the protagonist. The entire book is peppered with parenthetical adjectives and adverbs as a literary device that became tedious and then annoying by their overuse. The time sequencing within the story jumps from past to present to future within the same chapter making the reading disjointed. The characterization of the love the protagonist claims for her husband is so contaminated with codependency that it is hard to admire their relationship and her devotion to him. Lastly, the protagonist seems to be living in a “twilight” state – one foot in this world among the living and the other in the world of her deceased husband. Her delusional state expressed through fantasies and hallucinations went way beyond even the most heart-wrenching grief. I wanted to feel compassion for her state of mind, but I found little I could relate to in this dark novel.

The one positive note for me was the author’s ability to keep me reading by hoping for redemption for this tortured soul. I’ll leave that as an unknown for future readers to decide.

My thanks to the author, Ecco, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing a digital ARC in exchange for an independent, honest review.

This review is being posted immediately to my GoodReads account and will be posted on Amazon upon publication.