I was granted eARC access to Before We Disappear via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to whoever approved me! My thoughts are my own and my review is honest.

Before We Disappear is a historical fantasy set during the 1909 Seattle Alaska–Yukon–Pacific Exposition in Seattle, Washington and presents a magical mystery/thriller combined with an LGBTQIA+ YA romance that will not disappoint. Jack is assistant to The Enchantress, the local big name in magic, and a willing and eager participant in this whole lifestyle. Wilhelm is the source of the very real magic behind Laszlo's illusions... and his captive. Can these two star-crossed lovers break free and forge a life together, or will the wishes of their masters for them apart forever, possibly even into the grave?

This book has been billed as The Prestige meets What If It’s Us, and I absolutely see it. It definitely has the draw and the magical mystery of The Prestige, but I would also compare it to The Illusionist. (Yes, I know The Prestige is a book too; Eisenheim the Illusionist is also a short story.) I feel like the forbidden love element there is closer to what we get in Before We Disappear.

I'll admit this book actually didn't have me in the beginning. It wasn't a bad start, but it wasn't great. It didn't suck me in. By 10% I was wondering if I'd even finish. Then I picked it back up and bam! It got good, and then it got great. The real magic (think Night Crawler), the stage magic, the suspense and mystery elements, and the romance in this book are all excellent, and I definitely need to go back and read this author's backlist.

Hutchinson writes broken characters so well. Just about every character in this book has a whole lot of baggage, with the exception of Laszlo who's a narcisist incapable of empathy, and the psychological elements at play are just so well done. Every character's mind is a puzzle, and most of them invoke deep sympathy in the reader. We jump back and forth between Jack and Will as point of view characters, never into any of the rest of the cast, but Hutchinson still manages to give us enough insight into those minds to see how they think, what makes them tick, and learn to love them as well. In terms of our two POV boys, I'd say I liked Wilhelm a little more than Jack, but that's probably because I usually relate to traumatized characters best. Jack is very sweet, strong, brave, willing to do anything for love, but he's not as broken as Will, and he doesn't necessarily understand Wilhelm's views on everything. I do, I get Wilhelm, so I jive with him a little better.

I appreciate how much careful effort was put into keeping the setting as historically accurate as possible while still tossing out early 20th century views on minority groups and allowing for not one but two LGBTQIA+ romances to blossom on the page without anyone questioning or condemning it. (Well, without anyone condemning it for social reasons, at least.) As Hutchinson says in the acknowledgements, we were there back then too, even if history wasn't able to record us honestly. ("They were roommates! Lifelong bachelors!") Thank you for letting these wonderful characters be more than roommates.

I was so looking forward to this book for a long time. Magic, star crossed lovers, two boys who work for rivaling magicians making a real connection? I was anticipating this one… but I am saddened to say it fell kind of flat for me.

I appreciate the story and the magic. I enjoyed both Jack and Wilhelm and what they both came from. I thought the idea was impressive, but I was just kind of bored with the execution.

DNF @ 25%. I’m generally a fan of Hutchinson’s books, and while this should have been a slam dunk for me given the themes, I just wasn’t feeling it. His books usually have a wit to their narration, but that’s missing here, leaving it very dry and, well, boring. I couldn’t connect with anything to keep me reading. Sadly, we have another case of the cover being fantastic, but the book itself is just okay to forgettable. I’ll continue to try his future works though. 2.5/5 stars.

3.5/5 Rounding up

This was a fun book! There were some really simple and poetic phrases that were aided by the abilities of one of the characters.

Overall, It was a good book. There were a few things that I wish would have been added--more worldbuilding, an explanation of some of the magic, and more Evangeline. I thought the romance was going to be less of a focus and it was going to be a bit more fantastical.

I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys romance and light fantasy. The author's note also highlights that he took liberties to allow for "queer joy" and I love that.

Thank you to NetGalley, Harper Audio, HarperTeen, and Shaun David Hutchinson for the opportunity to listen to the audiobook of Before We Disappear in exchange for an honest review.

I used the NetGalley Shelf app to listen to this book. This book was made with a synthetic voice and does not reflect the actual narration of the final audiobook release.

The afterword of this book is really great. It talks about some of the historical inspirations for this novel, such as an early 1900's World's Fair and the lack of LGBTQ rights and representation during this time period, even though there were certainly people under this umbrella at the time. They just had to keep hidden. It also reinforces the fact that this is a work of fiction, even fantasy, as it delves into the allure of magic or changes historical elements to help the flow of the plot.

Jack is a young magician who works under the Enchantress, a well-known stage magician in Europe. She teaches Jack little tricks that involve magical thievery so that they can both become rich through scandalous, dishonest means. When their ploy is close to being found out, they head to America, where the World's Fair will take place. The Enchantress thinks she and Jack can keep up their thieving tricks and make lots of money in a different country.

When another magician, Laszlo, threatens to upstage the Enchantress and Jack, she sends Jack to investigate Laszlo's far-too-real magic. Jack uncovers the secret: Wilhelm. He may be a bit younger than Jack, but as they get to know each other, their relationship strengthens, and Jack must decide between his caretaker and the potential love of his life.

This book is, obviously (as it is about magician's), full of magic. The tricks are fun to listen to how they are debunked or turned into a thieving swindle. The rivalry between performers adds a great conflict. And of course there is romance, representing the LGBTQ community. I enjoyed this book and think it is a fun ride for the right reader.

3 stars

Before We Disappear has been near the top of my anticipated reads for 2021 list ever since I read the description in January. Being able to obtain a voice galley of it absolutely made my day and I went into this with a lot of expectations. Not all of them were met, but I will say that I did enjoy the story overall.

I thought that the characters were a lot of fun and I really loved how Hutchinson wove various forms of representation into the story. What really bogged this book down for me was the length. I'm not afraid of big books in the slightest, but this book could have easily been cut down from its 500 pages to 300-350. I think that the pacing would have improved and the tension would have been more pressing if this book was shorter. There were several points where I felt that both of these things were missing.

Am I a little disappointed it didn't meet my hype? A little. Am I still glad that I read Before We Disappear? Absolutely!

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperTeen for an ARC of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review!

I'm going to preface this by saying that my feedback is based solely on using a voice galley for this audiobook version of the novel. At first I thought I wouldn't mind listening to a voice galley, but after several chapters, I had difficulty in following the story line. Sections were choppy and that made for a not so very pleasing experience. If I had a choice now, I would get the print version of the book instead as I don't think that the story can be easily followed in the audiobook format. And, my rating for the print version would probably be in the 4 star range.

I adored this book, the character, the authors writing, and the world he created. This is my first experience with this authors work and I can promise that it will not be my last. I thought that this book was absolutely phenomenal and I truly cannot wait for other readers to be able to get their hands on it because I think it is that good. I thought that the characterization in this book was unlike anything I have read before. I truly think that while the plot was super interesting, the characters were what truly made the story. I think that both the main characters and the supporting characters alike both played important roles to this story as a whole. I think that the story was amazing, but also the authors note at the back really added to the story as he made it a point to state that while his story did have an ending that would have been more acceptable now, in reality that would not have been the case during the actual time period in which it took place. I think that this was an added bonus because it showed the sort of awareness the author had when creating the story. Overall I thought that this was a super fun read and I absolutely adored the representation, character arcs, storyline, and overall message.

I enjoyed the audiobook of this book. It kept me entertain. The only thing I will say is I wish the narrator did different voices for our 2 male leads to better differentiate between them.

This was a solid read! I loved the premise and the combinations that the story plays with: crime and magic, magic and illusion. There were some fun hijinks as well! It kept a solid pace throughout, though there were a few time jumps that I found myself wishing had been explored more thoroughly rather than glossed over.

The characters were a bit of a sticking point for me. I found the narrators hard to differentiate at times. Their backgrounds were different, but their voices weren't all that distinct. And the minor characters felt a bit underdeveloped to me. I was just hoping for a bit more.

CW emotional and physical abuse, gaslighting

I have absolute shivers. Before We Disappear is a queer, historical, magical realism exploration of two boys being emotionally abused by their parental figures, the second boy being physically abused to boot, and all the while being told that their abuser loves and cares for them. And they find each other. And they fall for each other. And then they get out. Throw in a subplot of a stalker asshole who won’t take no for an answer, and this story deals with **heavy** themes. It is not any easy read, and my heart broke over and over as both Wilhelm and Jack insisted on staying with their abusive parental figure.

And most exquisitely jarringly, the story is set at a turn of the century world fair, one that actually took place in history. It adds intrigue and grounds the emotional arc within a more concrete conflict: two competing con artists/magicians at the fair, and the protagonists their assistants. The author fully admits to taking liberties by allowing the queer romance to exist more or less out of the closet, but still points out injustices like racism in the real historical setting.

An absolutely fantastic read; a unique and poignant story. Would have been five stars if not for a handful of scenes that felt a bit disjointed on an editing level.

Jack is an expert pick-pocket in the magician The Enchantress' entourage; Wilhelm is a young man with an extraordinary natural gift, but a captive of a cruel and rival magician. Set amidst the grandeur and spectacle of the Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition at the turn of the century, these two magician's assistants soon realize their budding romance could either be their ultimate downfall, or their best hope to an escape for Wilhelm. It will take all their boot-legging, ingenious engineering, Pinkerton detective friends to help them pull off the greatest magic trick of all time--a life together.

I don't know how exactly to describe this book other than calling it average. The idea was interesting, but the magic was left unexplored and without any real explanation which would have been okay if it wasn't such an integral part of the story. The characters felt very flat and one-dimensional with the coolest characters being Lucia and the Enchantress. The last point is more my fault for being blind but I really thought Wilhelm was a black man until we got to the part about Teddy's racism, so that kinda hurt my enjoyment of the book.

4/5 stars

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishing team for providing this audiobook-arc!

It was a fun audiobook that wasn't boring to me. It kept me hooked actually! I would've preferred a narrator and advise the publishers to invest in one immediately.

Even with a synthetic voice narration, I enjoyed this audiobook!

It's a 2021 favorite for me so far. The writing is captivating and lovely, and the story unique and un-put-down-able. I love the real-life setting intertwined with the fantasy, and the plights of the characters were heart-wrenching and tender. An absolute stunner by Shaun, and an audiobook I will definitely be adding to my collection once finished!

A big thanks to Harper Audio and NetGalley for the early audiobook in exchange for my honest, unbiased review.

This was a fun YA read; I at first thought this was going to be more middle-grade based on the email I received advertising it alongside a few middle-grade novels, so I was pleasantly surprised when it turned into a younger YA read. I loved the alternating chapters in the two perspectives of Jack and Wilhelm.
The setting in 1909 is one I don't often find myself reading about, so I was excited to be in the prohibition/gold rush era. The characters were dynamic and had their own voices across the board. I loved seeing the LGBQ+ represented here; and I think overall it was well done as a relationship; however, I'm not sure I really got the feel of the forbidden moments since back in 1909 this was very taboo ... the risk of the relationship was a little lackluster for both LGBTQ+ romances budding in this novel.
The magic was fun, a bit of stage magic, a bit of real magic and a lot of backstory for these characters. My main issue with this novel was Evangeline... I think she got away with being a terrible "adoptive parent" by falling into the "I'm mean because I care" trope, while Lazlo/Teddy was dealt with a bit more seriously; however, he did seem to be much more abusive in comparison but I would have liked to see Evangeline be held a bit more accountable for her money-hungry aspirations.
This was a sweet adventure with a lot of love, friends, and really drives home the ideas that when you are suffering, more people then you realize can see the affects on you and are willing to stand beside you regardless of the risks.
Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the cover!!

** spoiler alert ** Thanks to Netgalley for providing me with an arc of this book! I thoroughly enjoyed this YA romantic romp. It dealt with a lot more issues of abuse and trauma than I was expecting, so go in wary of that. All of the characters had their own charms and little stories, which I appreciated immensely. I also liked the setting, as I rarely see historical Seattle anywhere. I wish the city had a bit more character, but that obviously wasn’t the focus of the book. Overall 4/5 for me! Highly recommended.

I really enjoy Shaun David Hutchinson's writing.
It pulls you in. It's imaginative, fun, and quirky. I enjoyed the narrator. They kept me interested in the story.
Excellent work!

this was a well done audio book, I was hooked from the beginning and really enjoyed reading this story. The story itself is well done and I enjoyed going through a different option.

“the universe rarely gives us what we want. sometimes we must content ourselves with what we are given.”


if you’ve followed me for a bit you might know that shaun david hutchinson is one of my favorite authors. SDH has a way of creating soft sci-fi worlds that are just familiar enough, but make us think: alien invasions, shrinking universes, resurrecting best friends. and now: magic at the 1909 alaska-yukon-pacific exposition.

before we disappear tells the story of jack, the clever teenage assistant to the famous stage magician, the enchantress. at the alaska-yukon-pacific exposition, his path crosses with wilhelm, also a magician’s assistant. while jack’s been performing illusions all his life, it’s nothing compared to the secrets wilhelm holds. secrets of real magic, and of a dark past.

when we talk about found family, we usually look at it as groups of friends that we choose. sports teams. ragtag bunches of misfits. this book takes found family and spins it a different way—a found family made up of someone who saves you. a found family of someone who understands you for the first time. a found family of someone who doesn’t run when they learn the truth about you. a found family of someone that makes you believe in love and home.

sdh’s books regularly ask you to suspend your disbelief. don’t try to get to the source of the science. just trust ot. that’s present here, and again in a different way. this book is queer as heck, and that’s not something entirely plausible in 1909. not safely, not the way it’s portrayed here. in the author’s note at the end, sdh says that he wanted to write about historical queer joy, because queer folks existed even if their stories weren’t told. even if they weren’t allowed to be.

cw: physical abuse, mental abuse, gaslighting