May the Best Man Win is a YA contemporary about a trans boy and his ex boyfriend going head to head in a battle for Homecoming King.

I'll begin this with two things-

First, the cover is stunning, and the synopsis made this one of my most anticipated reads of 2021.

Second, I am conflicted. When I finished reading this, I wasn't sure what to say, or whether it was a 4 or 2 star book for me.

Objectively this book is a good time- it has all the tropey goodness of lovers to enemies to lovers with a lot of history, it has a very angry trans MC, an autistic love interest, and a wonderful group of friends who honestly deserve better.

It covers a lot of important issues that deserve more space in the YA sphere (also a TW list): Transphobia, dead naming, bullying, harassment, attempted sexual assault, homophobia, ableism and generally deals with them with conversations between the characters.

That said, our two main characters, Jeremy and Lukas, are really unlikeable, which in itself is not a problem, but they honestly had very little in the way of redeeming qualities and treat their friends horribly. I went into this expecting this to at least be funny, and while Jeremy was funny at times and a bit of a badass, instead what I got was miscommunication, two boys who walk all over their friends to get what they want, far more interesting side characters who didn't get enough page time, and kids with a lot of issues and very little character development.

This entire book is Jeremy and Lukas ruining their friendships and being forgiven far too easily, and while I appreciated their characters otherwise, it was too much of a mess to get past.

In the end though, I think this book is worth reading for the wonderful side characters. Sol, a non-binary Latinx character, deserves all the attention.

A note on the audiobook: the narration was actually really enjoyable! It's the reason I got through this book so quickly.

This is not a cute rom com, although the cover is pretty and says otherwise. This is about two people who were hurt and need help.

In their senior year, Jeremy and Lukas were enemies; they both had their eyes on the same goal. They were a couple. Jeremy broke up with Lukas (without explanation) in the summer, shortly before announcing to the world that he is a boy. Now both want to become the Homecoming King and for a similar reason; acceptance. Jeremy sees the crown as the symbol that he is accepted and loved as a man. Lukas wants to be king, to get out of the shadow of his brother and be accepted by his parents.

It's a character driven story. None of the characters were perfect. But I really like Lukas, he is thoughtful, patient, he thinks before speaking and acting, although this is because he is autistic and its a secret. He wants to pretend that he is like others and that is why he analyzes his actions.

Honestly, Jeremy is the opposite of Lukas; he is very angry, he sometimes thinks that through violence he will be seen and accepted as the man that he is. I understand that he is going through a significant moment and deserves to be accepted, but some of his actions border on selfishness. Fortunately, he has a great mom and friends, who will support him. The side characters were amazing. (We need more friends like Sol and Naomi.)
Like I mentioned at the beginning, this is not a sweet story; it deals with difficult topics, like transphobia, homophobia, lost of a familiar, misogyny, bullying and violence.

I listened to the audiobook, and the narrator was incredible, the story was very enjoyable and felt light, although the issues to be dealt with were not. It's a story about two not perfect people, who seek to fit in and be able to be themselves. They were genuine teens; they are chaotic and commit mistakes, but hopefully they will grow and be better.

I was excited to listen to this audio book, but I wasn't able to finish. Both Jeremy and Lukas both sound the same and it was hard to tell who's point of view I was listening to so I decided to read the actually book instead. I feel for books that have more than one point of view its important to have dual narrators to avoid a listening experience like this one. If you can't have two narrators at least try to have them sound different.

Jeremy wants to dominate this school year - and winning homecoming king will solidify everything. After sending an email to the whole school telling everyone about his transition, he’s ready to be the man he knows he is. Lucas knows that the homecoming king crown will help get him into his dream college - but now his ex, Jeremy, is running against him for the title after a dramatic breakup. As things heat up in their battle for the crown, they start to discover what really matters, and that the sparks haven’t gone away.

Okay, so the main conflict was trivial at best. But the representation of LGBTQ+? Through the roof. We’ve got multiple transgender characters, as well as gay, bi, and non-binary. We also have a character with autism - mentioned explicitly by the character himself. I’m not the one to judge the quality of this representation, but I enjoyed seeing the wide variety of characters and their identities shown in this book.

I thought the characters actions were pretty over the top and selfish, but I generally enjoyed this book. It dealt with bullying, finding your identity, questioning your sexuality, and not getting the support you need from the people who are supposed to help you. While a lot of the book felt pretty far fetched (I’m not a rich kid going to a ritzy private school in the states soooo), I enjoyed the parts that dealt with addressing bullying and rallying around your friends when they need you. I couldn’t believe how willing Jeremy was to disregard their friends feelings in pursuit of their own goals though. In parts, Lukas wasn’t much better.

The narrator’s voice fit the characters pretty well, and kept the story moving along and interesting. I’d pick up another audiobook by them in the future!

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book, and I look forward to seeing reviews from the represented communities in the novel to see what they think!

Sadly this book wasn't for me. The narration, though, was very good. The characters all embodied tropes I don't enjoy in books. As much as I know one reads books to experience different things, there are some things I'm just annoyed when I read them.
The writing style was well done and it was very fluent and easy to get into. Sadly this one wasn't for me but I'm sure many will absolutely love it!

This was an entertaining book for me. I didn’t love any of the characters but the storyline was enough to keep me intrigued. I listened to the audiobook and while the narrator was fine, I felt it would have been better if there were 2 narrators- 1 for each POV. But all in all, this was a pretty good read.

DNF

I got an audiobook version of this arc and the narrator did a great job! I had no issue with that aspect.

As for the story, there is a lot of negativity and I know for some people, this is actually what high school is like for queer teens! But I just was so uncomfortable with all of the bullying and how negative our main characters were a lot of the time.

It’s definitely realistic for teens! I loved all of the trans rep and how I related so much to the inner monologue of Jeremy but at times it hit too close to home so this is also part of why I’m deciding to not finish the book. It was just a lot to handle and I don’t think I’m in a space right now where I can absorb this properly.

Don’t let this stop you from reading it though! If you think this is something you would enjoy, definitely check it out!

What am I honestly supposed to say? GO READ THE BOOK!

Plot
Jeremy Harkiss is a cheer captain, student body president, and an overall role model for many people. He came out as transgender, which was a hard decision overall but with his all-star-ex-boyfriend Lukas running for the title of Homecoming King that he has worked so hard to get, he has had enough. He won't let anything get in his way between him and his crown.

Lukas Rivers, football star and head of the Homecoming Committee has had a tough life. After the death of his 'perfect' older brother. He has to go to his funeral where he also ends up getting dumped by his girlfriend who turned out to be a boy. But when he gets challenged by Jeremy to steal his crown. He has also had enough.

When these boys take things too far and have to face the lingering butterflies they can't deny AND with the dance being canceled. While they finally face their hurt and emotions? Or will everything burn?

Writing
This was more of a character-driven book although the plot was very interesting and fun, I can really see it was the characters that pushed the author! For me the writing was standard. So I don't really have anything to say on that note. Apart from my love and hate for the characters so let's move on!

Jeremy
I hate this character. From his freaking arrogance to his selfishness, I want to scream at his face and tear it apart. Ok...maybe not after that ending but that's what I felt while reading this book. I think he's so arrogant and selfish that he doesn't see how bad his actions are until the consequences come back to haunt him. And then he doesn't even acknowledge that it was his fault! At least at one point in the book, he finally saw how bad his actions and how he was acting was and finally regretted something!! I just don't think he deserves Lukas... But I have to admit they do make a good team.


Lukas
Oh my God! Unlike Jeremy, this character was smooth, patient, and understanding! And VERY unlike Jeremy, he cared! He cared if his actions would hurt someone, he thought before he did something, UNLIKE Jeremy. He was just so kind and sweet that I didn't blame him when he lost his mind at one point in this book and totally went crazy because if I was that nice to someone and they just kept backstabbing me as much as Jeremy did to Lukas I would totally lose my mind. I also love that ZR Ellor didn't make Lukas perfect, you can really see in this book that he's a perfectionist and would really do anything to get where he wants to go. But Lukas is a pretty strong character because his parents have stopped believing in anything and there are even getting a divorce and he's just trying to pull his family back together even though he has his own challenges (which you'll find out in the book) So it's just beautiful.


Naomi
Please please please please please let me find a best friend as perfect as her! Naomi was just so clueless as to how much Jeremy was using her and when she finally found out and realized I was so freaking happy! Although we don't see that much of her in this book I can tell she's an amazing person with good morals

Jeremy and Lukas relationship
"This is a toxic relationship." That is an exact quote of me 70% in this book but in the last 30%, THINGS CHANGED. I believe in what some people call soulmates. I believe that Jeremy and Lucas are perfect together. Okay, maybe not perfect but you have to admit (like I said earlier) they make a pretty good team! In this book, their relationship changed so much that I barely recognized them at the end! It was beautiful how these- flawed, not perfect, quite opposite characters turned out to be good for each other.

Overall
Overall this book was beautiful and fantastic and it made me cry so much! *remembers* I couldn't have asked for anything more...well maybe a less annoying Jeremy? But even Jeremy himself changed and I was really satisfied! Thank you Z.R. Ellor for writing this magnificent fantastic book! This will always stay in my heart ( ´◡‿ゝ◡`)
Thank you Roaring Brook Press and Netgalley for sending me this ARC.
This was an arc but that does in no way affect my opinion.

~Till Next Time!
📚 Ꮢҽαԃ σ⨍⨍ ɾҽαԃҽɾട! 📚

Let me start with the positive... The cover of this book is beautiful. It's happy and cute and has adorable rom-com vibes. I am a huge fan of LGBTQ stories and jumped at the chance to listen to this audiobook with main character trans representation, so even though this one was not a win for me-- I hope it reaches people who enjoy it. At the beginning of the narration I felt like the dual perspectives weren't different enough since there is only one narrator, but by the middle I could tell the difference clearly right away. Other than that, it was a pleasant narration and I would give the narration itself 4/5 stars!

What didn't work for me:
When I read the blurb on this one I thought that the idea of exes competing to be prom king was fun, but it turned out to be a heavier plot point than I expected and I found the intensity that each of the boys desired the title was unbelievable and hard to relate to. I could have looked past this, but each of them trampled on the feelings of pretty much everyone in their life in order to win prom king-- and I felt that some of their actions were irredeemable.

Some of the inner monologues were long and repetitive and yet lacked depth and growth throughout the story.

The enemies to lovers situation didn't feel steamy and desire-fueled, it felt more emotionally abusive and confusing. The Jeremy and Lukas break up was also painful. According to the book, they have history and were in love, but Jeremy really doesn't give Lukas a chance at all-- and other than not being a mind reader, Lukas never did anything to make Jeremy believe that he didn't deserve a chance to celebrate Jeremy's gender identity.

The toxic masculinity. The book is aware of toxic masculinity and some parts seemed to attempt to flesh out why Jeremy felt more comfortable when he is toxic, but I never felt good about this at all. The violence and anger was a huge part of this book and there is no growth arc to be found with Jeremy's relationship to toxic male traits. While the knife-carrying ended up being warranted for protection, there are parts in the book where I, as a reader, didn't even trust Jeremy to tell the difference between his anger vs need to defend himself.

It was extremely hard for me to look past these issues. Like I said, I thought this would be an awesome trans, gay rom-com with trans joy in it, but each listen left me feeling pretty bummed. Thank you for the ALC.

Jeremey Harkiss is the cheer captain and student body president of his high school. He came out as transgender during his senior year, and has decided that he also wants to be Homecoming King. The only person standing in his way is his ex-boyfriend and football star, Lukas Rivers.

I was initially excited for this as it claims to be an enemies to lovers, second chance romance with a transgender main character... but I had a really hard time with this one... I thought this was going to be a rom-com and that is definitely not what this was. The story is told in alternating perspectives between our two main characters, Jeremey and Lukas. I absolutely hated Jeremey, he was the ABSOLUTE worst... He was constantly treating people, especially his friends, like absolute trash because he was insecure about his gender and masculinity. I do understand his desire to appear more masculine... and I understand his anger at those around him, but I just found him to adopt so much aggression and toxic masculinity to try and 'prove' his manliness and it got tiring quickly. There is absolutely no character development for him and he just made me angry for the entire book. Lukas also wasn't that much more likeable as a character either. He is neuro-divergent, and a lot of his story was blaming his autism for the situations he got himself into, and I just didn't like that. The entire "rivalry" between Jeremey and Lukas could have been avoided if they just had a CONVERSATION about their feelings and wants moving forward. I enjoyed some of the side characters, such as Sol, a non-binary individual, and Naomi, which is why I gave the book 2 stars instead of 1. I listened to this on audio, and I do think that the narrator did a great job with these characters.

There is a lot of transphobia and homophobia in this book, which is the point, but I still think it needs to be mentioned in case that is something you as a reader find triggering.

May The Best Man Win is a coming of age story of Jeremy, a trans teen, and Lukas, who is still trying to figure out who he is. The representation is this book was great!

I really enjoyed the narration of the audiobook, the pacing was very good and it was easy to listen to.

I felt like both of the main characters could have solved and prevented so much conflict with just simple communication. Some of the situations were super selfish on the characters parts that I found it a bit annoying at times. I must admit that to me personally I dislike those tropes in books. While this may not have been the ideal book for me I still appreciate this book and took a lot away from the story.

I was very excited to listen to this book. I don’t typically read YA, but the cover and the blurb got me thinking this seemed a fun thing to read. Like a “May the best man win” thing but with a twist since Jeremy is trans and Lukas is his ex.

It’s a book with privileged kids living in DC suburbia, living their privileged life. There’s the typical high school drama, the highs, lows and pitfalls of high school while planning what’s coming next in their life in academia.

What made it difficult for me to listen is there’s so much anger in Jeremy. I do understand why he’s fighting tooth and nail. But he was borderline giving in to toxic masculinity. That’s just how it appeared to me. I also didn’t like how he treated Lukas. Our struggles aren’t license for us to be assholes. There was no resolution in that department for Jeremy though.
Lukas, in his own way was trying to make things work for him in ways he can cope.
I love Sol. They’re the shining light in this problematic setting.

This isn’t a typical romcom YA. It’s loaded with triggers. It deals with struggles in high school plus navigating life as somebody who just transitioned. It’s also navigating life as somebody who is left to deal with loss and grieving parents, while trying to get past the resentments left unsaid. It deals with friendships and the toxicity that it comes with.

The narrator did a good job with his narration.

3.5/4 stars

Jeremy, a trans guy, is cheer captain and in the running for homecoming king at his prestigious private high school. He's running against his ex, Lucas, football player and all-around nice guy. But they didn't end on the best of terms last summer... Jeremy dumped Lucas the day of Lucas's older brother's funeral. Plus, there's lots of family drama: at Lucas's house it's all about how his brother's death is tearing about his parents' marriage and at Jeremy's house it's all about how Jeremy's single mom isn't the most accepting of Jeremy's transition. So there's lots of angst, lots of self-assessment, lots of hormones, and lots of teenage tunnel-vision on winning homecoming king.

What I liked about this book:
- I like that while this book is a *trans* book, it's also *not* a trans book. Jeremy's trans-ness is definitely a big part of the story, but it's also just a general teen story: two guys are battling it out for homecoming king.
- I loved the character of Sol!
- I loved how/who the winner of homecoming king is.

What I disliked about this book:
- I disliked that the audiobook is voice-acted by the same person for both the Jeremy chapters and the Lucas chapters. When a book has multiple narrators, it is easiest to parse it when they are voice-acted by different actors.
- Jeremy is a massive asshole. That's just his personality.
- I felt super bad for Naomi. She constantly gets the bum end of the story throughout this book.

Diverse/LGBTQIA+ reads:
- Lucas is autistic.
- Jeremy is trans (female to male) and there is a lot of discussion about what not being a good ally looks like so as to show readers how to be a good ally.
- Sol is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns.
- Lucas goes from straight to questioning to gay.

Rep: trans MC, neurodivergent MC, autistic MC, nonbinary SC, gay SC, lesbian SC, SC in a poly relationship, (questioning) ace SC, asian SC, latinx AC

TW: transphobia (lots! even from the other queer kids), misgendering, deadnaming, bullying, death of a sibling, (internalised) ableism, (mention of attempted) sexual assault, body dysphoria, homophobia, misogyny, use of r-slur, use of f-slur, physical abuse, toxic masculinity

This book was definitely not was I expecting. At first I thought this might be me never reading the blurb properly when I see a beautiful cover. I just get the book and read it immediately without thinking twice. But even from the blurb I thought this would be a cute fluffy enemies to lovers YA romance.
Well, it wasn’t. This book is rather heavy, read the TW first if you want to get into it.
Because while there definitely is a second chance romance in this, the main focus is on Jeremy being bullied at school and his struggles with being accepted by other people and body dysphoria. The book is told from two POVs, and Lukas’ POV isn’t all sunshine and rainbows either.
Jeremy has only recently come out as trans at his school and is taking testosterone since three weeks.
A few weeks back he broke up with his boyfriend Lukas. Now both of them run for homecoming king, both for different reasons.
Jamie wants to be accepted as a boy by his fellow students. One person makes his life at school particularly hard and Jamie wants to change that by fighting for the school’s code of conduct to be altered.
Lukas is trying to step out of his late brothers shadow (or really into his brothers footsteps), trying to finally get attention and be accepted by his parents.

My main problem with this book was, that none of the characters were particularly likeable persons.
Jeremy is very angry, easily riled up and makes some questionable and selfish decisions. But I got why he behaves like that, I could relate to and sympathise with him and understood some of his decisions, even though they obviously weren’t right. But even before the events of this book Jeremy seemed to be only interested in being well known, the center of attention and liked by everyone, but not really thinking about anyone else besides himself.
Lukas isn’t perfect either and makes some very stupid decisions himself. I could also understand his reasoning. Especially with the strained relationship between him and his parents. He is a real people pleaser and is trying to help and make everyone happy.
What Jeremys best friend did was totally beyond my grasp though. I just didn’t get it and I think that was a very low blow and definitely nothing a best friend would or should do. Also Lukas was kinda using her for his own purpose and that’s not cool either.
In the end things went out of control, escalated and both Jeremy and Lukas went way overboard in my opinion. Things happened that were unacceptable and inexcusable. At this point I didn’t even try to ship them anymore, because they simply were so shitty to each other. I just couldn’t bring myself to root for them being together or any of them in general, not even the friendships.***
I also didn’t like the representation of the asian characters. It was super stereotypical.
I have to say though, that they behaved like real, realistic teenagers most of the time. They make mistakes, they fuck up, they fight…and they also fight for what they believe in.
All of the characters were rather self-centred and often very egoistical though and that’s not a character trait I enjoy in anyone. This definitely influenced my reading experience.
There is only little to none character development, when I would have needed a big change and mistakes to be admitted and confronted and discussed, there was nothing. There were little to no consequences for their actions, for both of the MCs.
What also bugged me was that none of them ever really taked about anything important. Neither Jeremy and his best friend, nor Lukas and his neighbour/friend Sol (who was definitely the only character I genuinely liked), nor Jeremy and Lukas themselves. I really wanted to shake them sometimes.
The pacing was off for me too. There were things repeated and some scenes dragged, when the most important scenes where rushed through, especially the ending.***

Why bullying, verbal or sexual harassment weren’t against the school law/ code of conduct was something I couldn’t understand either. So a teacher can only do something if a student gets physically hurt, but they can’t do anything if two students insult each other or someone is bullied or groped? Not even detention? Wtf?! This isn’t normal, is it?
Also the knife thing? Definitely not something I would include in a book for impressionable teenagers.

While this wasn’t the fun, romantic story I went in for and this book wasn’t really for me in general, this one was definitely a story that needs to be told. This book includes some very deep themes and issues trans and neurodiverse people have to deal with every day. It discusses a lot of important topics and shows a lot of situations that aren’t easy to read, but are real life situations for a lot of people out there: The expectations cis people have of what a trans person is supposed to look like, the transphobia that comes from everywhere, even from other queer people. The struggles neurodiverse people have in everyday life, in a world that does so little to accommodate and make it easier for them.

The narrator: I really liked them! They delivered the emotions of Jeremy and Lukas perfectly. I loved that they chose a trans narrator for this book! I already liked them a lot in the Cemetary Boys audiobook.
I personally prefer it to have different narrators for books with multiple POVs though, because I easily get confused and I don’t always remember which characters POV I’m currently in if I stop the audio and start it again at a later point.


*** SPOILERS:
Last chance!!!

- So, trying to come out to your boyfriend in a public restaurants surrounded by other people, on the day of his brothers funeral?! Talk about bad timing. It just wasn’t the day and time, and I am not sorry I said it. Jeremy never outright talked to Lukas about that situation and I think it could have been solved. He was SO angry at him, and for what?
- Also Lukas going out with his best friend? And Naomi, Jeremys best friend, even asking Lukas out? That is SUCH a no go!
- Then Jeremy throwing Ben under the bus just to get back at Philip. I have no words. He could have ruined Bens whole future with this.
- Lukas making a PowerPoint presentation with old pictures of him and Jeremy and showing it in front of the whole school. Did he even took a second to think what and why this could not be a good idea?!? I was so angry. Even I know what is wrong with that.
- Jeremy treatening to reveal Lukas’ disability to the whole school as “revenge”. …..what.
- Naomi and Jeremys friendship. Don’t even get me started. This wasn’t any kind of friendship to me. And they never even properly discussed Naomi dating Lukas?
- Lukas realisation that he isn’t straight. Lukas making out with that guy. Lukas coming out as gay to his parents all of a sudden? His fight with his parents at the end? It was all soooo rushed! None of it was properly addressed. In the end it felt like his arc was handled as kind of an afterthought.
- Jeremys mother. What’s her deal? I still don’t get it. I think their relationship would have needed a little more explaining.
- Philip not facing ANY consequences? Not even after attacking Jeremy at school and breaking his nose?! Wtf?

I read this book in physical form and honestly I gave it a higher review at the time but upon a reread via this audiobook I am going to go back and change it. I'm not sure how I didn't notice how problematic this book was while reading it but I couldn't not see it this time.
This was obviously meant to be your classic YA romance only with a much more diverse cast of characters. Ellor did a good job in that aspect. The characters were diverse(ish) and the plot followed the basic YA romance formula but otherwise this book felt very very problematic.
The first problem was the main characters where absolutely horrible. I didn't like them at all! Jeremy in particular was a major problem. His toxic masculinity was so annoying and gross in so so many places. I honestly could have let it go but it was not addressed nearly as much as it should have been! It drove me crazy the whole book and i was just waiting and waiting for it to be properly addressed but it never was!
Secondly the major relationship. They were so toxic! They were supposed to be cute and the arguing was meant to be because they were "in love" but it just all felt so so toxic. I in no way wanted them to be together because all I could see was an absolute disaster!
This really was just to problematic for me. Maybe I am misunderstanding something as I am not trans and I am a lesbian but I hope this amount of toxic masculine isn't needed for a book about gay men....

Based off the cover and synopsis this seems like exes from enemies to possible lovers but there’s not really any romance. I don’t care if there’s romance or not necessarily but I thought that was such a great idea. I wanted a light hearted rom-com with trans rep!! Plus, Lukas is autistic and coping with grief so there was representation there too.

This book is more about Jeremy’s daily struggles with being a trans-boy in high school which is totally valid and important but Jeremy actually kind of sucks. He is too angry at everyone and only cares about his own problems. I get that he’s going through a lot but he is so selfish. At first, I liked Lukas and then he became a crappy characters too. They just become so petty and unlikable that I just didn’t care what would happen in the end.

I do think the idea was good but the execution really fell flat for me since the characters were so terrible. We definitely need more books like this in terms of the representation but this really disappointed me.

Thanks to Macmillan and Netgalley for an advanced audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

*Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review*

ZR Ellor has written the slow-burn YA trans romcom of my dreams!

In <i>May the Best Man Win</i>, newly-out trans senior Jeremy decides to prove to himself and the rest of his high school that he’s a real man by running for Homecoming King, convinced this is what he needs to feel accepted as a man. The problem is, he is running against his ex-boyfriend but current rival, Lucas.

Told between alternating points of view, we get to know Jeremy and Lucas. They had been friends since fifth grade, dated for three years, and broken up for reasons unknown to Lucas a few months before Jeremy publicly came out as trans. Lucas and Jeremy are constantly butting heads, especially in the running for homecoming, trying to sabotage each other, each believing they <i>need</i> to win this title. Jeremy believes he needs it to prove to everyone that he’s a boy. Not a boy with “trans” as a suffix, but a boy worthy of their votes and understanding. Lucas believes he needs to win the crown to fix his broken family, to prove to his parents that he can do well despite them underestimating him due to his autism diagnosis since he was eight. Lucas has the added weight of the complicated grieving process of his older brother who died four months prior to the beginning of the novel, and who Lucas feels he is letting his parents down by not being.

This is a really great story. I especially loved how absolutely sure Jeremy was that he was a gay trans man, and how confident he was in that identity and what it meant to him. I loved how the narrative dealt with the feelings of living up to cisgender ideals of what masculinity looks like through Jeremy trying to prove to his school that he was a real man, craving their acceptance as if it was the only thing that could make his identity feel validated. I loved the love story that unraveled and put itself back together before us in the most perfect and wholesome ways. This book was everything.

The narrator of the audiobook was so good! I really enjoyed both Lucas’s and Jeremy’s points of view, and I really found that Jeremy’s personality especially leaped through in their voice.

I wanted to like this book so badly, and I genuinely just can’t bring myself to give it any good points. The characters in this book are SO horrible to each other that there is no possible way for me to root for the main couple throughout the book. There were some really great points made about trans identities and I’m glad they were fore-fronted. However, the line about the majority of lesbians being TERFs had me literally stop listening to the book and take time to cool off. I think it’s valid to include that critique but it’s such a huge generalization that paints all lesbians in an awful light and I couldn’t get behind it. Every character, LGBTQIA+ or straight, was basically flat or irredeemable in my eyes and this book just wasn’t for me.

I really loved the cover of this book and I guess I was expecting a fun read but I was sadly mistaken. I hated the main character, Jeremy, throughout the majority of the book and I knew that after reading 40% of the book that no matter what happened in the end that this was definitely not the right book for me. Thanks to #netgalley for the advanced reader copy!

I wanted to love this book. It has a fantastic blurb. Jeremy and Lukas are competing against each as homecoming kind: Lukas to get alumni support to get him into an ivy league school while he struggles with autism and living in his deceased brother's shadow, and Jeremy to show to the school a trans boy is just a boy and he can be homecoming kind. But the kicker is that Jeremy and Lukas are exes! A fantastic enemies-to-lovers set-up with trans rep and neurodiversity.

However, this book really fell flat. I was listening on audio and made it just over 20% in (which is several hours), when I gave up. The pacing was too slow, and nothing was happening to keep me hooked. But the main problem I had with this book was how unlikable Jeremy, one of the main characters was. He was extremely self-centered, cocky, and at times a little mean. He was always treating the other kids as "nerds" or "losers" because they weren't as popular as him. I really hope this ended up being a character arc, where he learns to appreciate everyone and not be such a little sh*thead, but I couldn't put up with hours of him talking down to everyone. He was preaching anti-bullying but had no respect for his classmates, and was especially cruel to his ex, who I just wanted to give a big hug to every time Jeremy insulted him.

Obviously some people with resonate with this story more than others, which may make some keep reading when others would quit, but there are just better books out there.

Thanks to Macmillan Audio for my ALC! All thoughts and opinions are my own.

2 stars - 3/10