3.5
The audiobook is narrated perfectly. I did love the first half of the book a lot more than the last half. Getting to know her beginnings and all of those nightmare cases had me cringing throughout. I only gagged one time so I am proud of myself.
What I disliked was some of the humor tended to punch down. I don't know if the author transcribed from the actual day's events on a log, but a lot of the jokes felt dated. There is a lot of ableist and classist humor that could have been updated. For example, you can say mentally disabled and it will get the same point across without the bigoted term used in the book in passing.

Thank you to Netgalley.com and Tantor Audio for a free copy of this audio book in exchange for an honest review.

Who could turn down a book with this title? I know that crime shows are a very simplistic and often glorified view of this field of forensic science. In this book Dana Kollmann describes some her true, sometimes boring, often times gross experiences as a CSI for Baltimore Police Department.

Filled with often funny definitely gross situations that Dana Kollmann had been called to while working as a CSI for Baltimore PD. The dead mans hand was definitely a highlight of the book but all of the stories were equally as entertaining. After listening to this I don't know who could handle this job. You would really have to love forensics to be able to stomach much of what actual CSI's experience.

Dana Kollmann has a very jaded view of forensics at this point and her humor is very gallows, which could lead some to believe she is full of herself or not taking her job seriously but I read it as trying to shed some humor on a very difficult, often gruesome and dirty job that hollywood has portrayed as so glamourous when in actuality it is not. When she finally quits her job with the Baltimore PD she does so not because she doesn't love the work but because she wants a life. Up until the birth of her child she dedicated a large portion of her time to the CSI cases but she wanted better life balance and with mixed feelings decided to quit. I think its easy to forget that part of the book since it is in the very beginning but I think its important to realize that while the stories are told in a more sarcastic and satirical way her love of her job definitely shines through.

I was lucky enough to receive and advanced listening copy of this book through Netgalley. The audiobook was well made, the narrator was good and worked with what she had. The book had some interesting anecdotes and provided insight into what real CSI is (not the Hollywood version), but the rude way in which the author told the stories took away from the book. There were many times were I actually cringed at the way the author described a dead body or a scene. I think with more editing and removing some of the harsh judgments towards the deceased it could have been a better book. When I was able to get past the offensive nature of the descriptions I was really interested in what was being said...

This woman is a bitch. Plain and simple. There's gallows humor and then there's plain old disrespect. She is an asshole and so unbelievably judgmental. Is she doing it for laughs because otherwise the book would be dull? Maybe. But it's still a disgusting piece of work, she is unbearable. Small parts were actually interesting but it was so hard to get past the bitchiness, the judgement, the disrespect to those alive and dead. Calling a woman "the thing," calling a man "front butt," being unreasonable to several people (one from a funeral home, one at an airport), maybe tell them who the fuck you are first instead of messing with them OR actually having the proper paperwork before being angry because you missed your flight because you have HUMAN SKULLS in your carry-on bag. What the fuck.

Excellent! Reader beware this non-fiction book on the experiences of a crime scene investigator are graphic. I personally enjoyed the details of the investigation process, personnel interactions and those with the "characters" at the scene, The author was unique as a child in her interests and it's wonderful to see those evolve into a personal success in a career path. Her children also grow to understand and appreciate her interests including her dead animal garden (used for research). There are so many different paths in life! At first I was not sure of the narrator but fell in love with her dispatcher voice! I was absolutely dying of laughter as the author had a little fun in a call to a funeral home for some coffins for the human bones in her garage (read it to find out!).
I received an advanced copy of this audiobook from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is a great book! I have read another book by a crime scene clean-up person (loved it), I wanted to see how a CSI felt. I got what I wanted! The author tells the stories of being a CSI investigator.and how evidence is collected and such. I loved her stories and how she felt about the things that happened and what she had to go through. She tells the truth, that people don't seem to understand after watching crime shows on TV. She lived this in real life and it is so much different. I thought it was very interesting and hard to stop listening to. It was well written. I really love this book and would read it again, or any other book by this author. I highly recommend it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Tantor Audio for providing me with a copy of this audioARC in exchange for an honest review.

Kollman is a former CSI and in this book she tells us of some of her more memorable cases, including the one alluded to in the title. She pulls no punches - this book is a complete gross out, and Kollman is not PC when talking of some of the people she has encountered. She does go some way to explaining this towards the end of the book, saying that one of the reasons she left was because of how she was perceiving and reacting to the people left on scene (some of whom were experiencing some pretty awful things). It does, however, make for uncomfortable reading at times.

That aside, the stories themselves are very interesting. Rather than a straight dissemination of facts, we get to hear things from the author’s point of view - how she felt, how she reacted - and it’s interesting to see how things have changed (and changed further still since the book was first released in 2007!).

Kate Zane was a great narrator. She had some really impressive voices for the different people encountered, and her no nonsense style of delivery made me genuinely feel like I was listening to the author!

Definitely a book worth reading for anybody interesting in becoming a CSI or for anyone who wants to know what a CSI really does.

I just finished listening to this book on audio. I enjoyed the narrator's efforts at making and keeping it interesting, and her pleasant reading voice. It covers different cases that the author was involved in while working as a CSI, her greatest wish in life achieved. Seems she always wanted to do something along these lines, and had an essential talent for it. Some of the cases are gross, which is to be expected. My thanks to Netgalley, author Dana Kollmann, and the editor, for a look at a preview.

This book!!!! was so much fun to listen to. So irreverent, so gross, yet soooo intriguing. If you're easily offended or have a sensitive tummy (you hurl the cookies at the slightest gross scenes) then please dont come telling me about it if you read this LOL! Author Dana Kollman takes us along on her crime lab calls and puts us on the scene of some gross and HILARIOUS dead people scenes. Oh yeah, if you a sensitive about the dead or crime scenes, you are forewarned!! She adopts the attitudes of some of the most seasoned police and csi units. By that I mean, again if you are easily offended by the author's sarcastic comments calling people drunks and/or fat - she definitely has some OPINIONS about the people she's encountered. If you can take it for the sarcasm it is, please do, but you can tell this was not written in this decade. Its being revamped on audio this year but was written in 2007. (insert warning for problematic sarcasm-i lived thru the 70s so that shit doesnt phase me lol) !
She was working with the police but was a civilian forensic investigator - I never knew you could be a "civilian csi" but apparently in some states you can be. This book is fantastic on audio I enjoyed it so much, even when it had me squirming with the squeamish stories of bugs, the smells and sights of a #decomp (code word for decomposition, as it long dead and bloated blech!!) and of course the story of how she sucked a dead man's man (involuntarily)!!!!
Read by #katezane and written by #danakollmann - if you love getting behind the scenes at a murder and the gross & bizarre people and scenarios the crime unit sees, check this book out immediately! Many thanks to @tantoraudio & @netgalley for providing this to me for review! 4 1/2 stars for an engaging listen for those of us who are fascinated by #csi and #deadpeople. lol loved it!!

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
As a fan of medical dramas and real life forensic science I devour these types of autobiographical stories with delight.
This was one that definitely didn't shy away from the gruesome but added a thread if humour throughout.
There is quite a lot of negative attitude toward the police which can be understood due to their actions towards the author but could also be a bit damaging, especially during this period in time.
The narrator of the audiobook was excellent. She had a steady voice that gave the right inflictions and made the story come to life without making it seem like fiction.
I would highly recommend this to anyone who watches CSI and wonders exactly why none of the women ever have their hair out of the way.

This is one of the more fascinating books I have read. If you have any interest in forensics you will enjoy this book. Filled with interesting cases and with a great touch of humor.
#NeverSuckaDeadMansHand #NetGalley

Thanks to NetGalley and Tantor Audio for the digital copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

Just like most people I am fascinated by the work done in a crime lab and was interested in learning more about how the job is done in real life.

The author tell us about many interesting aspects of the job (and some not that interesting and/or disgusting). This is definitely not a job for everyone, you have to work long hours and deal with stuff you have never thought possible until you have to deal with it.

To survive the job people in this field usually develop a gallows humor. But in some parts of the book the author goes beyond that and makes fun of people she met on the job . That's not funny at all and I would rather this was not in the book.

The narration of the audiobook was done very well and helped me get immersed on what was being told.

If you are interested in what a crime scene investigator does I would recommend the book (just beware her "humor").

Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand
Curious Adventures of a CSI
by Dana Kollmann
Narrated by Kate Zane

I want to thank the publisher and NetGalley for letting me listen to this terrific book! I found it fascinating and informative. My job as a nurse was quite incredibly but she has me beat! I never had a dead man's hand in my mouth! Yuck!

This book is filled with interesting stories of how she got to be in this position of a civil CSI without having to be a police officer first and the problems she had to endure from the police because of it. She was considered a scab and treated pretty poorly from many cops.

She tells about some of her early cases, how her family felt about her job, her memorable dog cases, and others. She really had to have a strong stomach!

I found it so gross but interesting at the same time! Definitely a different kind of book! But I like different! Narration was terrific too!

You know, if you name a book "Never suck a dead man's hand" - that should tell you all you need to know about it. The title itself promises you a lot of dark humour - gallows humour I suspect, but I am pretty sure you can only do a job like this if you do it with some humour. I loved this book, because I enjoy this kind of humour. The dark and macabre is my thing and I more or less live off true crime stories. So this? This was screaming my name and I was not disappointed. I will read more of this series and this author, I've licked blood now!

I received a free ARC by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I requested this book and then read the reviews and immediately regretted requesting it because the reviews were so bad. I started listening with extreme trepidation and then loved every second of it!

This book is not for the faint hearted or easily offended and to be fair look at the title, I think that's pretty obvious. Dana has the definition of "gallows humour" and nothing is off limits. A lot of people seem to have found this offensive but with a job like hers, it's a necessity.

Brimming with lots of dark and twisted tales of the cases she has encountered this is guaranteed to shock and entertain you.

I listened to the audiobook and found the narrator great, she kept me interested throughout. Having read the reviews I realised that the physical book has photos so that is an element I missed out on.

"Death sneaks up on you the way a windshield sneaks up on a bug." - Anonymous

A book with a title like this definitely grabbed my attention! In this book, Dana Kollmann shares her experiences and fascinating stories working as a crime scene investigator for the Baltimore County Police Department for over ten years. And yes, these stories are not for the faint of heart! They were gross, bizarre and even the title of the book came from one of the author's experience working as crime scene investigator.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! It was highly entertaining and educational. I've read quite a few of forensic books and this one is definitely one of the best. I liked the writing style. It was humorous and witty - similar to Stiff by Mary Roach. But to be honest there were certain words that the author used which some may find offensive and insensitive.

Without going into details, I'd have to say that the things a CSI go through and see is nothing like the Hollywood version of CSI. That is why ever since I've read my first forensic book, I can never watch any tv shows about CSI anymore!

I listened to the audiobook and the narrator Kate Zane is one heck of an incredible narrator! She did an amazing job using different voices and intonation. It was a great audiobook!

In a nutshell, this was an intriguing and insightful book about the CSI profession and if forensic is your thing, give this a read!


Pub. Date: May 25th, 2021


***Thank you Tantor Audio, author Dana Kollmann and NetGalley for gifted review copy to read & review. ***

An interesting insight into the workings of the crime lab.

I enjoyed listening to this audiobook, it was insightful with some explanations of work dynamics which were sometimes a little frustratingly irrelevant to the main premise.

It gave an insight to what the crime lab does and how they do it and on the whole I enjoyed the book. It was well narrated.

I would recommend this book.

Many thanks to the author and NetGalley for gifting me this arc in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.

Dana Kollmann worked as a crime scene investigator in the USA for over 10 years & this book is a collection of her experiences – topics banned at the family dinner table yet those same people likely suggested that she should write a book about her job!
She starts by moaning at the way CSIs are glamourised on TV and states that she is going to tell the real story, warts & all. The book title is explained – and be warned that it’s not pleasant! I did enjoy the insight into the work, but it is very graphic at times, has an unnecessary amount of “toilet humour” (that’s different to the “gallows humour” which comes with the nature of this job) & the author is very judgemental & politically incorrect. That loses stars for me.
Initially I thought that Dana was narrating the book & didn’t warm to her voice but when I realised that somebody else was narrating it, it made sense. Whilst the narrator has a no-nonsense type of voice, there is a flatness, a disconnect between the voice & the story. It was ok, but I would have far preferred it to be narrated by the author as it always brings a different dimension to an audiobook.
Disclosure: I received a copy of this audiobook free via NetGalley. Whilst thanks go to the publisher for the opportunity to read it, all opinions are my own.

#NeverSuckaDeadMansHand #NetGalley

Dana Kollmann worked as a crime scene investigator for over 10 years. This book is a compilation of gruesome and humorous stories of things she encountered in the field.

I'm pretty sure this is one of those books that happened because someone suggested to Dana that she should write a book about her crazy job. Dana tells stories filled with dark humor, that are not at all politically correct and are plenty cringeworthy. She tears apart the glamor of TV CSIs and reveals what really happens at the crime scene. It's not pretty at all.
As a fan of all of those forensic shows, true crime and the macabre, this book was made for me. Dana had me laughing out loud in a horrible cackle that I would never want people to hear. She also had me almost dry heaving as well.. lol The combination of disgust, wonder and amusement had me binge this book.
The book was originally published in 2007, and I had no clue. I am so glad that it is being redone on audio, and popped up as an option on Netgalley. Listening to it really pumped up the story. The narrator has a no bull$h*t voice that is perfect representation of Dana. I wish Dana had narrated the book herself, but I was happy with who did.
Yes she explains the title in the book. It happened. I'm not telling you how, you need to hear it for your self. Its horrible. Oh and when you read about Jeffery..omg you will pee a little.
This book is getting all the stars. I recommend it highly if you are not a sensitive person and are ok with extremely politically incorrect content that gets a wee bit graphic.

I was given a copy of this audiobook from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand is a gallows humor memoir about Kollmann's career as a CSI in the United States. I did find that there were some things that I learned about forensics while listening to this book. The narrator does a fine job relaying the information. I really wanted to like this book but I didn't. I found the author to be rude. There were so many instances. I felt like while listening there were constant pings of moments that made me pause. I don't know if the author is racist, classist or just incredibly judgmental. She kept making comments about "those people" the "bad parts of town" She was mean spirited in how she described people. In some of these cases she was meant to be helping people and she was making fun of them, their homes etc. Its just so unnecessary. Her humor just completely fell flat for me. I was really hoping for something like Caitlin Doughty but was incredibly disappointed. I won't be reading anything else from this author.