A very decent historical coming of age read, throughly ienjoyable.

Thank you so much for the copy.

I'm really happy I requested this book to review. It's not your typical mm romance. I'm not even sure if you could call this book a romance. It's a coming of age story, a story that follows the mc (Nathan) for a few years, from when he was a young boy until he's at college. We see his transformation from a boy into adolescence and witness his struggles from the moment he realizes that he might be gay until his coming out and finding acceptance within himself.

The story is set in the late sixties, early seventies, during the Vietnam era. It's one of those era's that I find very interesting, historically speaking, and this story breathes every fiber and vibe of those years. It's perfectly researched. While reading, I felt like I was transported back to that era, living the hippie life, finding freedom in music and drugs, struggling with parental expectations, but finding ways to cut yourself loose from your home, without completely losing it. (does that make sense?)

Nathan grows up in the sixties in a small town in the midwest. He develops a crush on the handsome doctor that lives down the street, which makes him realize he might not like girls the way he is supposed to. But due to an assault that took place when he was a boyscout, he is having a hard time accepting he likes other boys, or men. He tries to like girls, and he befriends one, but there's nothing more than this friendly feeling. Thinking of himself as socially awkward, he discovers that diet pills (amphetamines) turn him into a more likable person, and that's the beginning of his addiction.
We follow him through his highschool years, taking pills and trying to find his destination in life, never able to forget about the doctor, who, after a horrible incident, is forced to move away.
We follow Nathan after graduation, when he goes to college in New Orleans, breaking free from his parents and his hometown, finding new friends, trying hard to discover his true self and fighting for acceptance.

There's a lot going on in Nathan's life. First sex with a girl, first sex with a man, trying to keep up his grades, finding his escape in drugs and more drugs. Becoming politically aware of the state his country is in, the Vietnamwar, racism, homophobia. But also music festivals, hippies, the diversity of the people surrounding him, the devastating effects and dangers of the drugs he is taking, and the author takes us with Nathan on his journey to find happiness in the end.

This book is dedicated to the victims of the arson fire at the Up Stairs Lounge in New Orleans in 1973, according to Wikipedia the deadliest attack on a gayclub until the shooting in Orlando in 2016. Completely ignored by media and city government and churches refused to hold funerals for the dead, this is what homophobia was like in those days, the only reason for the lack of interest and compassion being that the victims were LGBT patrons.
I believe this story can be seen as evidence in how far we've come since then. It's been a long, long way coming, people have fought hard for acceptance and equality, and there is still a lot to fight for. But reading Nathan's story, I want to believe, no I NEED to believe, we're at least on the right path to achieve something that shouldn't have to be fought for in the first place.

If you are interested in this time era, historically, I highly recommend this book. If you love a well written coming of age story, this is your book.
There's a happy ending, though maybe slightly open, but still very hopeful.
Unable to put down, I read this book in almost one sitting.
It's very much worth your precious time!

In the 1960s, Midwestern boy and Boy Scout, Nathan delivers newspapers and mows lawns. Nathan uses his cover to move about yards and sneak into the homes of his neighbors, uncovering their secrets.

In high school, one of the local misfits introduces him to diet pills, which help him overcome his shyness. In an amphetamine high, he meets Cindy, who he hopes will steer him along the “morally straight” path of the Boy Scout Oath he swore to.

Nathan is infatuated with a young doctor down the street, Nicholas (Dr. B), who embodies all the things his mother would love him to be. On one of his secret forays in Dr. B’s house, he hides in a closet and witnesses his idol having sex with man while the wife is out of town. Dr. B’s affair leads to tragedy, forcing the doctor to leave town.

At college in New Orleans, Nathan meets a group of rebels and expands his drug use. Marc, a bisexual Cajun charmer becomes Nathan’s first male sexual experience, but promptly leaves town.

Nathan has a chance encounter with Dr. B, who has moved to New Orleans. Dr. B is in a relationship, but still closeted. Frustrated by Dr. B’s cool reaction, Nathan goes on a six-month binge of amphetamines and anonymous sex. On one night of debauchery, he overdoses and ends up in the emergency ward.

Nathan’s near death rallies Dr. B and Nathan’s other friends to force him into rehab. On the way home from work, Nathan witnesses the gruesome aftermath of the 1973 Up Stairs Lounge fire that devastated the gay population of New Orleans. As a result of the fire, Dr. B’s live-in boyfriend leaves town, freeing Dr. B to explore his feelings for Nathan. There was a lot going on in this book. It covers a wide variety of topics including sex, drug use. This book had intrigue, suspense, drama, and a decent storyline!