This is the first book I've read by this author and I'm so pleased to see there are two more in this series. This was a lovely story about responsibility, all while being true to yourself. It deals with death and grief, and there were moments where I cried, even though I knew what was coming.
Jay is lovely, finally true to himself despite the pressure to conform. Embracing his newfound sexuality is a joy and boy, he couldn't have picked a more complex character than Lucien Avery.

Fearne Hill is a new to me author, but I will be reading more of their books for sure because this book has easily made it to my favorites of the year list!

This is a beautiful, unforgettable read. I loved everything about it. I loved how the author tackled heavy topics in a way that never felt like I was reading a heavy book. Still, I'll advise you to keep your tissues at hand, because there are moments in the story that you'll need them.

Lucien is a guarded man. Not very liked by his colleagues, always hiding behind his wall of self-preservation. Because he hurts. He's lonely. His family has been taken away from him after a terrible accident and his grief is so overwhelming and fragile, that he'd rather drink, smoke and hides from the world, than continue living the life he feels he doesn't deserve. But how fragile as he may seem, how distant he is behind his masks and his thick wall, underneath all that armor hides a beautiful, caring, loving soul, who craves to find someone to hold him again. To touch and to be touched.
He unexpectedly finds that person in Jay Sorrentino. A new doctor who he will be supervising and whom he recognizes as the guy who gave him a sloppy BJ in a seedy corner of a club some time before.
Jay was supposed to marry his girlfriend of 4 years. But for a little while he's had this feeling he might not be as straight as he always told himself he was. And to figure things out, he encourages himself to go to a gayclub, give someone a blowjob and find his truth.
When he meets Lucien Avery and recognizes him as the beautiful guy from that night before he called off his wedding, he hates his life a little more than he already did. But, against all odds, a friendship develops. Jay is the only one who gets to see the real Lucien. All three of his characters and he falls in love with everything Lucien is.
That declaration of love is possibly the most beautiful one I have ever read in mm romance. Or in any other genre, for that matter. I loved, LOVED it!!! It was emotional, it was witty, it was just everything that needed to be said.
Jay and Lucien are beautiful together. It was a privilege to witness how they fell in love, how they made love and how Lucien was there to guide Jay through all his firsts.
I fell in love with both of them; they've become precious characters that will stay with me.
I'm looking forward to the other books in this series!
In the mean time, I highly recommend this book to anyone who hasn't read it yet. It's one of the best books I read this year.

Dr. Lucian Avery is the reluctant 16th earl of Rossingley, a title he never expected, nor desired. See, he inherited his land and title about 18 months ago when his father, the 15th earl, mother and elder brother and his young pregnant wife, were all killed in a helicopter crash. Being the “spare” is unpleasant, especially as he’s virtually alone in the world. It’s taken him months to claw his way out of the depression that’s had him living a life of a recluse, only showing up to hospital for part-time duties as a anesthesiologist consultant. He’s 34 years old, and living alone in the small part of the palatial estate of his youth. He’s a feared colleague in the hospital, due to his demanding nature, general unapproachability and aloofness. While up in London, out with some friends from his previous life–before the accident–Lucien is approached by a big, strapping hunk who offers a sexual favor. It’s a good experience, because it takes Lucien out of his seemingly unending misery for a few minutes.

Dr. Jay Sorrentino is a junior consultant who’s a week away from his wedding to the fellow doctor and woman he has been dating form more than 4 years. They have a home and joint bank accounts, and work in the same hospital in Allentown–but Jay has had a lingering suspicion that his growing malaise and disappointment about his impending nuptials is related to his sexual dissatisfaction. Over the past couple of years he’s wondered if he’s gay–but been terrified to acknowledge. A drunken experience in a London gay club has cleared away the morass of his shilly-shallying. Unfortunately, his anonymous bar hook-up turns out to be the supervising consultant on his new training leg in hospital. Jay’s fervent wish that the immaculate, beautiful and demanding Dr. Avery are dashed rather fantastically. Yet, he’s completely intrigued by the prickly man.

This is a sweet and sexy romance as Jay and Lucien develop as strong affection for one another. Jay is conscientious and notices when Lucien is troubled, and is not afraid to approach him, thinking that he’s a man on his own–rightly so. Lucien is so unused to solicitousness, and he needs a person to lean on, given his long grief suffered alone. Jay is attracted to Lucien’s quirks, including his penchant for women’s lingerie and femme affectations. His androgyny holds big appeal to Jay, and over several weeks to months their relationship morphs from one of professional and personal support to a sexual one. Jay’s attraction to Lucien is growing by leaps, but he’s still entangled with his ex-fiance, as they unravel their joint lives. It’s a lot of stress, that Lucien relieves the more intimate they become.

I loved this story, with two interesting and complicated characters–who both need a good friends and partner to lean upon. Their love story is tender and compassionate, as both men are highly educated and compassionate men, per their medical training. It’s so sweet, I was repeatedly reminded that emotional vulnerability is a very sexy look for otherwise powerful men. I look forward to the next book in this series, knowing that it will likely include a different couple.

What an enchanting read! I adored everything about this book. I loved Lucien and Jay characters. I was drawn to the storytelling and couldn't put this book down. I’m definitely going to keep my eyes peeled for future releases by this author. Grab yourself a copy of this book!

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book by a relatively new author, but I shouldn’t have worried--it turned out to be a great read!

The story is described as lighthearted, and it’s true that it’s frequently funny. After all, Jay and Lucien initially meet (in a very up-close and personal way 😉) in a London club, only to discover later that Lucien is Jay’s training supervisor at the hospital where they are both doctors. Can you say awkward? Plus, Lucien is often archly witty and sometimes caustic in a way that amused me. I love the snarky ones, especially when the attitude is a cover for a tender heart, as it is with Lucien.

The novel has a core of seriousness, though. Lucien’s entire family was killed in an accident, leaving him all alone and grieving, and he’s finding it difficult to move forward. Jay is a caretaker by nature, and once he realizes the man he is attracted to is struggling, Jay offers Lucien the support he desperately needs. Jay also has his own issues to deal with after canceling his wedding at the last minute, and Lucien ultimately helps him get his life back on track as well. Their relationship is a great example of hurt/comfort romance, my favorite trope.

In addition to the loss of Lucien’s family, the book also includes the death of one of Lucien’s patients, a teenager who has been horribly burned in a house fire. His treatment is handled very realistically, which isn’t surprising, since the author is a doctor. Even though it’s clear that he won’t survive his injuries, his death is a very dark moment in the story, one that sends Lucien spiraling before Jay comes to care for him.

Overall, it’s just a really lovely romance with a deservedly happy ending for Lucien and Jay. I’m looking forward to the next book in the series, which will feature Lucien’s cousin.

A copy of this book was provided through NetGalley for review; all opinions expressed are my own.

Thanks to Netgalley for a copy in exchange of an honest review.


This is my first Fearne hill set of wonderful characters. My first full amazing story that have been lucky enough to read.

I'm floored with emotions and there aren't any words to convey the beautiful writing, rawness of words and experiences the characters go through.

I'm not even sure how to start this review without going through all my feelings once again. I made a lot of notes through the story, some to remember and others I thought were very important for me. We get to read Jay Sorrentino's and Lucien Avery., two wonderful people who are lost and are trying to find solace to their pain.

"If I were at some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous-type therapy meeting, I'd introduce myself like this: Hello, my name is Jay Sorrentino, and I'm a closet homosexual. Possible homosexual. No, scratch that. Probably, definitely homosexual, although the extent of my homosexual experience is giving a beautiful stranger a blow join in a nightclub. Once. A week before I was due to get married to my lovely , long-term girlfriend, Elli. Of course, it's not that I need therapy because I think I'm gay. Being gay is fine, like being born left-handed or having a lifelong hatred of mushrooms. No, I need therapy because I was too dumb to realize I was gay and nearly got myself fucking married to a woman." - Jay Sorrentino.

Jay Sorrentino is a doctor who wants to specialize in anesthesia and getting patients sedated before a operation, while their in pain and emergencies going through their hospital door. He's happy where he is in his career, he concentrates and loves the environment but there's something personal bothering him for a while. A week before his weeding he realized he didn't want to marry. He made the sane decision of calling the weeding off so he wouldn't marry and hurt his wife and those around him. This decision was hard for him since his family is the most important thing in his world. We go through an amazing journey of self discovery, decisions, love, kindness to oneself and prioritizing what's right over needs fully knowing that at the end, he could have what he wanted. He knew he just needed to speak and have that conversation, so he did. And once he was back, he didn't take anything for granted and knew nothing could be better.

His experience with family and friends is raw.

"My biggest achievement is listening to my inner voice, then having the balls to act on it, even when I knew how hurtful it would be to people I loved. But it's something I should have done a long time ago." - Jay Sorrentino

Lucien Avery is a doctor specialized in anesthesia and trauma but also Jay's Ed Supervisor. He's kind, loving and cherished son who lost his entire family in matter of seconds after a deadly helicopter crash happened. The whole time we see Dr. Avery go through a fog of pain, loneliness, trauma, anxiety and depression. He went from a social and happy person to somebody who pushes people aside and forces himself to no care from fear of people more people. But we don't only see his pain, we see his Breakfast On Pluto self. His character made me happy, it was such a ray of sunshine in the story. Sometimes the voice of reason and others not. He was selfless, kind and loving throughout the story. He wanted more from the world and he let himself have more.

I think he is one of the most wonderful characters I have encountered this year so far. I've read pages of the books again and again to memorize some of the dialog because I can't get enough of him. Specially because of the strong connection I feel with him as a character and a trans person. The struggle to ear properly as well, to find joy in anything but reading (as a coping mechanism). I truly can talk endless about it and if given the opportunity, I want to be inside their world again and again.

This has to be my favorite dialogue and scene:

"Its okay cry, Jay," he chides gently. "It's okay to be upset, especially in front of me. Gosh, you've seen me at my worst on several occasions. It's my turn to be strong for you.

"But I've never taken sick leave; what will people think?"

He waves my concern away. "Who cares what anyone thinks? It's okay to admit that things are tough for you. Hey, you've called off a wedding, split up with your girl, started a new job, fucked a rather acentric man, falling out with family and friends, sold a house--there've been enough life events to keep you busy for ten tears, for goodness sake!"


Thank you again for allowing me to read this book once again.

I'm so glad I got to discover Fearne Hill's writing.

I first read from this author when I read the book The Last of the Moussakas and loved it and recommended it to all my friends. Most people know I'm a big fan of MM romances so when Fearne Hill was announcing a new series, I was over the moon! This book is the first in the series and a wonderful starting point.

I loved everything about this story. I loved Lucien and Jay, love how they're both doctors and that they met by pure chance! I couldn't put this book down, so it was very addicting, it kept pulling you in every chapter, I had to see what happened next!

I will be here waiting patiently for Freddie's story to come out!

Thank you to NetGalley and NineStar Press for the earc in return for an honest review.

3.25 stars

Two adorkable & lovable main characters, an unlikely workplace romance, lots of nice character development & relationship development, & a reasonably realistic portrayal of dealing with personal trauma. One odd, uncomfortable scene involving a transphobic slur (see below) is my only major issue with this book. Overall, it’s an enjoyable story. (Apparently, fabulous cousin Freddie stars in the sequel, which should be fun.)

[What I liked:]

•I like how there was plenty of narrative tension throughout, but no massive misunderstanding or conflict or tragedy came at the 75% mark to bog things down. This book didn’t need a huge dramatic moment, & it’s refreshing not to have to wade through one to get to the happy ending.

•This book is funny. There are awkward bits, adorably weird character moments, & some funny dialogue.

•I thought the resolution Lucien & Jay worked out was pretty mature & responsible of them. It was a realistic ending, made sense for them as a couple, & was a satisfying wrap up.

•For having such a tragic past, Lucien as a character had so much depth to him besides just having trauma. That can be hard to balance, not skimming over serious things without it turning melodramatic. I really, really like that neither Lucien nor Jay had a savior complex, & while being vulnerable & deeply supporting one another they weren’t codependent. And both of their sets of personal issues were treated as long term things to work on, not just magically resolved by the ‘power of love’ or some such.

•Kinda random, but I really appreciate that Lucien’s eating issues weren’t portrayed as body-image related, but instead tied to other complex emotional/mental health issues. I feel like eating disorders in popular culture are usually reduced to dysmorphia/wanting to lose weight, but there are a variety of reasons/triggers people might have. Anyway, I feel seen.

•I love both Jay & Luce. Jay is sweet & helpful & has integrity to a fault & is always wearing hoodies. Luce is fabulous & fierce & perceptive & generous & gives great advice. They’re both flawed & empathetic characters on their own, & worked really well together as a couple.


[What I didn’t like as much:]

•Okay, I’m not sure why there was a scene where Jay insulted/teased/was a jerk to Lucien by calling him a “tr*nny”, but it was unnecessary & felt out of character & was jarring & just why? Because up til then Jay was so open & accepting & appreciative of who Lucien was without fetishizing his fashion sense, & appeared at least minimally aware of others’ & his own casual homophobia. So I don’t know why that scene was there.

•The whole thing with Reuben was a bit superfluous. Like why invent this hot guy out of thin air for moral support, just so Lucien can have his anxious thoughts in a conversation out loud? Just to be a foil for Jay’s jealousies? It felt kinda hokey & deus ex machina.

•At points the writing gets a bit too flowery or dramatic for my tastes. It’s not often, & it’s not excessive. But, for example, huge declarations of love feel a bit too sappy for me.

•Personal preference here, but there were a lot of spicy scenes, more than necessary imo. Not to the point that the plot suffered, but I just noticed there were a lot of them because I skip those scenes in general, & I found myself skipping a lot.

CW: homophobia/transphobia, use of trans slurs, survivor’s guilt, traumatic injury, death, eating disorder, mental health issues, sexual assault, romantic relationship between a boss & employee

[I received an ARC ebook copy from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. Thank you for the book!]