Oh man I have been waiting for a Eric Rickstad book to come out. I love his others ones. He has a way of describing things that is completely disturbing and creepy lol. This one did not disappoint. I thought I knew where it was headed and boy was I way off. This one has a disturbing and sad twist at the end.

Very dark and then it delivered one scene of animal cruelty after another, I had to stop. Not to mention all the statutory rape, nasty teens, discrimination and murder.

This is such a short book, you really do fly through it. I feel kind of confused about the ending but POOR Clay and Lydia! Wayland really kind of left Lydia to deal with everything. Not sure if the ending satisfied me. Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for an advanced reader's copy in exchange for an honest review.

First, thank you to NetGalley for the ARC to this engrossing, intuitive and soul-breaking story.

The story begins with 8 year old Wayland witnessing his father's suicide. Fast forward eight years later, where Wayland and his family have disintegrated, living in true poverty, all living with their scars silently. Wayland retains the note he found at his father's body, "I am not who you think I am," and recovers a memory that propels him and his friends forward, to the secrets of the town itself, its history, its obligations, its debts.
I have to say I found the characters, especially those of the young adults, to be genuine: sweaty, confused, unrelenting, emotional. The reader can see what they see, and feel what they feel. Always great to see when a writer can get that right, and not condescend to their young characters, their needs and wants.
This is a story of so many cautions and assumptions, of Wayland's mom making decisions for her kids that she feels is in their best interest, but instead becomes a perpetual deep fail.
I highly recommend this book.

A surprising story filled with unpredictable twists and a delightful ending. A bit of a lull in the middle, but really picked up at the end.

Title: I Am Not Who You Think I Am
Author: Eric Rickstad
Genre: Mystery/thriller
Rating: 3.0

Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself, finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am, and is left reeling with grief and shock. Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew? Terrified, Wayland keeps the note a secret, but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning.

Eight years later, Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried.

With the help of two friends, Wayland searches for the truth. Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father's old books, a sinister history behind the town's most powerful family, and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland's birth. Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland's suspicions of everyone around him. Soon, he'll regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.

Wayland…ended up being a horrible person. Completely self-absorbed, selfish, and prone to jumping to conclusions, I never felt any sympathy for him. Later in the book, I actively disliked him and found him even less sympathetic. While the writing was solid, I found the premise—and the truth—outside my realm of belief.

Eric Rickstad lives in Vermont. I Am Not Who You Think I Am is his newest novel.

(Galley courtesy of Blackstone Publishing in exchange for an honest review.)

I just finished reading "I Am Not Who You Think I Am", by Eric Rickstad. I want to thank NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
First of all, let me say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I was intrigued by the title and it did not dissapoint. This book is all about how we are not what or who people think we are, that we hide behind secrets and lies and missed opportunities. Furthermore, sometimes finding out the truth can be more devastating than finding out that people haven't been honest with us in the first place. Sometimes, as this story shows, secrets are meant to be kept hidden, for the betterment of all involved.
The story takes us through the life of a young boy who sees his father commit suicide. He finds a note at his father's feet that says "I am not you you think I am".. Years pass and one day, he decides to find out the mystery behind the note.
What follows are a series of missteps and revelations that both broke my heart and kept me reading, because the mystery was so well written and described by the author, that I felt like I was part of the action itself.
Eric Rickstad is a phenomenal writer. He has an incredible ability to create a setting that places the reader inside not just the setting but in the minds and hearts of the characters. He created such believable and complex characters that had such a rich history that I was drawn into the mystery and wanted so badly for the truth to be revealed that I read this book in a matter or days, stealing every moment I could to continue in the journey of the mystery in the book.
It is not a happy book. At times I felt uncomfortable with the events in the novel, but it is steeped in the realistic nature of relationships between parents and their children, and between children and adults. It made me think about how far I would go to protect my own children from learning terrible truths about me. In the end, it is a piece of fiction with obviously villanous characters but must of the characters are broken and are in the search for acceptance and truth.
This book is different from most I have read, because all the characters are flawed and some are not redeemable. But that is the type of book I enjoy. It was a great reading experience, and I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys this genre.

This was a quick read, but it ultimately fell a bit flat for me. But don't take me as the last word--it obviously works well for a lot of other people.

The cover of the book caught my eye and the description piqued my interest but I was underwhelmed by the story.

“I am not who you think I am”

Eight words that intrigued, the brought questions, that caused tension and hid a secret.

Wayland hides the note that says those eight words after witnessing his father commit suicide. He doesn't tell anyone until years later, when he begins to question the identity of the man, he witnessed committing suicide. Wayland begins to look for answers at his local library.

This was slow to start for me but slowly and surely grabbed my attention and sucked me in. I was wondering what Wayland would find learn. What secrets will be revealed? What truths will see the light of day?

From slow burn to tension filled, this book depicts a mystery of the past, explores grief, the search for truth, how lives can be changed. Wayland was a character to feel for. He never received the help he should have - witnessing a traumatizing event, being teased for his fingers, he slowly begins to change. He had two friends, but it was his dog, Molly who gave him unconditional love.

This was my first book by Rickstad but will not be my last.


Thank you to Blackstone Publishing and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book guys! What a wild ride! You are kept in suspense almost from the very beginning with the tension building and building all the way through until the seriously twisted ending. Wayland’s rapidly growing obsession with finding out the truth had me holding my breath at times.

This was a pretty dark psychological thriller, nothing horrific, just unsettling at times. It was also a really fast read - one of those books that when you’re not reading you’re thinking about when you can read it. The ending really made me sit back and think WHOA! It was a bit ‘out there’ for me, but it still worked well.

Highly recommend!

Thank you Netgalley and Blackstone Publishing for the eARC

I Am Not Who You Think I Am was a great book from start to finish. I will say, if you have dealt with someone close to you committing suicide this could be a little triggering. If you can get past that it is a highly enjoyable book. Fast paced, excellent plot, great character development all make you wonder what is going to happen next until the final page. I can certainly understand why it was named to the Amazon Best Book of the Month list. Definitely recommend this novel!

In 1976, 8-year old Wayland Maynard accidentally witnesses something that will forever change his and his family's life. Eight years later he begins to question what he saw. These questions lead him down a rabbit hole to discover the irredeemable truth about his father and himself.

This book was so good in every way. Eric Rickstad expertly keeps the plot moving forward with deliciously descriptive passages and characters so real they practically have a pulse. One of my favorite books of the year. 5+++ stars.

Thank you to Blackstone Publishing and NetGalley for providing an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

That is always the question when someone suffers from suicide but in the compulsive reading (and listening) in one night of I Am Not Who You Think I Am by brilliant writer Eric Rickstad you slowly realize that might be the wrong question.

Wayland is only 8 years old when he witnesses his father shoot himself. At 16 he is haunted by that day and the aftermath of it. His mother gets rid of any trace of his father from their home and never talks about it. His sister is living life on the edge with no self worth. Wayland is riddled with unanswered questions but the one he needs answered is about the note his Dad left. The note he has hidden from everyone that has only 8 words on it: I Am Not Who You Think I Am. Wayland is determined to find out exactly who his father was even if it kills him and it just might.

I stayed up all night reading this and then I had the joy of listening to the talented actor Steven Weber narrate the audiobook. I was truly dumbfounded by the heartbreaking performance he gives as an angst ridden, depressed, confused, PTSD suffering teenager. It is truly an award winning role.

This novel is about the repercussions of greed and power. How the fear of losing it will destroy innocent lives. I often get giddy when reading a thriller where everyone is just a villain you love to hate and gets what they deserve in the end. This story, despite the gob smacked twists, left me sad. Maybe because Wayland is so young I could not fault him for his actions. I needed to hug him. This author is an amazing writer that I can't even compare to anyone else. It is worth your time to listen and read his story. That noted, I will be reading a HEA romance after this one to lift my spirits.

I received a free copy of this book and audiobook from the publisher via #Netgalley
for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

Ultimately I found the book to be underwhelming. The description fascinated me, the actuality fell rather flat.

I had no sense of the interior age of the narrator at any point. I felt he was telling how he felt rather than demonstrating it and the characters around him felt like cardboard cutouts rather than real people.

I listened to this book as well as reading it and found that it worked for me in neither format.

It’s in the title, we know this will be a mystery concerning identity. But the identity of whom? The story starts with a statement from the police department of a Vermont town concerning a manuscript they’ve recently received in the post. We’re given scant detail but warned that some of the content is disturbing. What follows is the story contained in the document. It takes us back to the mid-nineteen-eighties and introduces us to Wayland Maynard, a boy who at the age of eight witnessed the suicide of his father. At age sixteen he started to have doubts concerning what he actually saw that day. What follows is his account of what transpired.

Wayland lived with his often absent mother and his wayward younger sister. The small group of support characters we meet include his best friend Clay, his sister’s <i>scumbag</i> boyfriend and Juliette, a girl that Wayland fancies from afar but is afraid to approach. Wayland and Clay do what teenagers do, which includes snooping around and catching glimpses of events that titillate and disturb in equal measure. But Wayland’s real focus is in delving back into the events of that fateful day, armed with a piece of evidence he removed from the scene and has kept to himself ever since.

Having been furnished with the background we are now treated to a fairly detailed account of events which occur over a short period of time. Wayland, Juliette (who he is now at least engaging with) and Clay are all involved, though there seems to be little discernible structure to their efforts. By now the author is adopting a tone which is part gothic horror, with his recurrent use of grandiose and hyperbolic language, but tempered with intermittent sections which have a softer coming-of-age feel. It’s an interesting mix of moods we’re being we’re being teased to adopt. The story is well paced throughout but as pieces of the jigsaw start to fall into place it’s suddenly full speed toward a final reckoning. A big finish seems likely – and that’s exactly what we get.

There are some jaw dropping moments in this story, scenes that are truly shocking and at least one which is likely to prompt a double take from readers. But is it possible that there are just too many surprise revelations to fully process and accept? Perhaps, for some, but I think most readers will simply roll with the punches and soak it all up. At its heart it’s an old story, but it’s told in a way that feels fresh and new. It worked for me and managed to hold me in its grip throughout

Wayland is only 8 years old when he witnesses his father's suicide. He finds a note with only 8 words ... I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. Hiding the note, he keeps it from his mother. If his father wasn't the man he thought he knew, then who was he?

This question haunts Wayland for 8 more years until he finally remembers something from that shocking day .... something that makes him think the man who shot himself in the face may not have been his father at all. His mother won't listen to him or discuss what happened. Does she know more than she's willing to share?

Only two of his friends help him search for the truth.

(Book Blurb) With the help of two friends, Wayland searches for the truth. Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father’s old books, a sinister history behind the town’s most powerful family, and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland’s birth. Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland’s suspicions of everyone around him. Soon, he’ll regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.

This is an amazingly riveting tale of love, obsession and of lies and secrets. The story line is edgy, suspenseful from the first page, and maintaining a high level of tension and uncertainty until the unexpected, surprising ending that I never saw coming. I cannot recommend this book enough.

Many thanks to the author / Blackstone Publishing / Netgalley for the digital copy of this Psychological drama. Read and reviewed voluntarily, opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.

I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad is both a riveting psychological suspense story and an emotionally rich story of a young boy growing up and questioning the suicide of his father.
In Shireburne, a tired small town in Vermont, Wayland Maynard is eight when he finds his father’s body and that discovery informs his actions and thoughts for the rest of the book, as well as his life. He wistfully reminisces about his relationship with the man he admired and loved. When he is 16, Wayland makes a discovery that spurs him to investigate what actually happened the day his father died and the reasons behind it.
The mystery and suspense in this plot are terrific and move at a fast pace. There are some violent scenes and some stunning twists as layer after layer of this family’s/town’s secrets are revealed.
The author employs wonderful descriptive writing. Except for a short introduction and end note, the story is told in the first person by Wayland. Since the central character and his friends, Juliette and Clay, are all teens, I particularly applaud the author’s ability to set the tone of the narrative as looking at and reacting to events through the eyes of not quite adults. In that respect, this book felt a bit YA. Wayland’s family and friends feel real, and the tired little town of Shireburne is perfect for the characters and the events that take place.
But, this is definitely an adult book with its themes of suicide, mature love, disfigurement and violent murder. Rickstad takes the reader on a nonstop ride to the denouement, and startling revelations, with strong writing and a youthful protagonist for whom we cry and cheer along the way.
I really, really, liked this story and Wayland’s voice. I highly recommend this to readers of well-plotted atmospheric suspense novels, and I will definitely be looking for more of Mr. Rickstad’s books in the future.

Thank you to Blackstone Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC. This is my honest review.

Big thanks to the publisher and Net Galley for a chance to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Wow- this book is a head trip. It’s a mystery that kept me guessing to the very end, and at one point, made me gasp. I really felt bad for this family, they start as a happy nuclear family, then dad commits suicide, and then things get very very bad. Poor mom is working two jobs and falling further and further behind, and 15 year old Lydia is hooking up with a seriously bad dude. I love a unreliable narrator -17 year old Wayland provides that in spades! A decade later, he is still dealing with the trauma of witnessing his father suicide when we was just 8. He starts to suspect that perhaps what he saw was not his father blowing his head off, but someone else. As a self involved teen, he doesn’t notice his mother’s suffering, be does suspect that perhaps his mother is not telling the whole truth. As a reader I began to wonder is he mentally ill or is something more sinister going on? All will be answered in a satisfying conclusion. Recommend

Well, I sat down just to get this book started, and then spent the entire evening finishing it. There was no way I could have put it down! When I end a book by falling over on the couch, you know it’s a good one. This was amazing from page one, and I am thoroughly impressed.

Wayland got sick at school one day, and this being the ‘70s, the school nurse tells him to walk on home. He’s expecting his mom to be there, but instead he sees his dad’s truck in the driveway. He walks inside just in time to see his father kill himself. He finds a note on the bed, reading “I Am Not Who You Think I Am”. He hides it away, and never tells a soul about it.

Wayland is only eight when this happened, and the incident obviously scarred him. His mom didn’t get him any psychological help afterwards, so he was never able to process what happened that day. By the time he’s 16, he is awkward and anxious, his little sister has gone off the rails with sex and partying, and his mom is too tired from working double shifts to notice or care. But Wayland has a lot of questions about that night, and he finally decides that it’s time to get some answers.

This was a great coming-of-age story, with the added bonus of a mystery … actually, several mysteries before all is said and done. I think most readers will love Wayland; his character has issues, but he’d be crazier if he didn’t have issues after what he experienced. The ending started to go down one path and I was worried that I wouldn’t like it, but then it completely flipped tracks and turned out just as great as the rest of the story. This was a fantastic book that is well deserving of five stars.

(I’d like to thank Blackstone Publishing, Eric Rickstad and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.)