Thank you to to the publisher @blackstonepublishing & @netgallery for my gifted eARC!



💭💭My Thoughts:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️4/5

Wayland is 8 years old when his father kills himself in front of him. Flash forward 8 years later, Wayland begins to question what he saw, what really happened to his father, and grows suspicious of his mother who gets rid of all his fathers belongings. Was Wayland mistaken of what he saw on that day his father supposedly killed himself? Wayland finds a note left by his father that states “I Am Not Who You Think I Am” which sends Wayland on a hunt for clues, and the truth.

This was a book that kept me on the edge of my seat, kept me wanting to keep reading so I could find out the answers, and gave me just the right amount of anxiety to make this a suspenseful read!

The author does such an amazing job with keeping the reader on the edge of their seat, and immerses the reader in this whirlwind of a chase to uncover the truth. The writing is creepy and atmospheric, which I absolutely loved!

This is an edge of your seat twisted page turner that I recommend to all the thriller lovers out there!

This was a slow burn mystery book. Once I started it, I was caught up right along with the main character (Wayland) as the many layers of the mystery unfolded. I read this in one day because I had to know and once I found out, I was not disappointed. What a fantastic read this was!! Don't miss this book!

“I am not who you think I am”

Just eight words that hide a myriad of secrets…left behind in what appears to be a suicide note.

Wayland Henry Maynard is just eight years old when he comes home from school early just in time to see his father shooting himself in his parent’s bedroom. He snatches the piece of paper on the floor by his father’s body but tells everyone that no note was left behind.

His Mother wastes no time in removing all of his father’s possessions, carrying everything from clothes to photographs and books, to the curb-as if she wants to erase all evidence that his father existed.

Eight years later, Wayland is having nightmares of “dangling feet”.

Convinced his dream means something, he begins to search for the truth of his father’s suicide. He discovers a link to the TALL MAN, who visited his father’s barber shop just before his death, a bizarre tragedy which seems linked to his own birth, and strange messages scribbled in his father’s old books, which he had secretly confiscated from the curb.

The book may be set in the 1970’s (and is full of nostalgia from those years) BUT I felt that several GOTHIC themes were utilized in the story, as well. Gothic literature is described as dark, eerie and mysterious, often containing elements of terror, SUBTLE horror, the macabre or bizarre. Common themes include power, isolation and confinement.

MANY are included here, though I won’t say which as to not spoil anything.

Another GOTHIC theme-the burdened male protagonist, which we have in Wayland, a young man with deformed pinky fingers, who has never received counseling for dealing with the torment they bring him-or for what he witnessed. He doesn’t know if he can trust his only friend, a jock named Clay, or Juliette, the girl he has a crush on, but finds comfort in his dog, Molly, who though loved, endures some gratuitous, reprehensible things, as she isn’t spayed. (descriptions I could have done without).

I did guess a couple of things, though I had the WHY wrong. I wish I had been reading this with a friend as it BEGS for a discussion and comparison to some Classics.

Don’t let the young protagonist dissuade you from reading this!

If you are intrigued this will be available on October 5, 2021 from Blackstone Publishing.

I received a gifted copy through NetGalley. It was a pleasure to offer a candid review.

I had a really hard time getting into this book. The plot and cover drew me in but the writing style was not my favorite. It is a very quick read. I would have enjoyed it more if the writing was not as crass.

I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad is a psychological thriller.

First, let me thank NetGalley, the publisher Blackstone Publishing and of course the author, for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.


My Synopsis:   (No major reveals, but if concerned, skip to My Opinions)
Wayland Maynard is only eight when his father commits suicide right in front of him.  Wayland steals the note that his father left.  On it are the words "I am not who you think I am".  Wayland doesn't have a clue as to what that could mean, but he misses his father, and he hides the note.  His mother throws out everything she could find that belonged to his father, but Wayland rescued a few things, especially his books.

When Wayland is 16, he starts to wonder what he really saw the night his father committed suicide.  He starts to doubt things, and is determined to find out the truth, even though his mother is of no help.

He finds some strange messages in his father's old books, and a tie to the town's most powerful family.  Unfortunately, Wayland doesn't know who he can trust, and the story that is unfolding has him fearing no one would believe him anyway.


My Opinions:   
WOW.  This one grabbed me hard, and as the suspense rose, so did my need to turn those pages.   The pace was good, and the twists perfect.

While I had anticipated one of the major twists, others were a real surprise.  The way the author provided the reader with little tidbits of information was really good.  Okay, one mystery solved, now we have another one.....

The book is about family, and grief, and obsession.  It is also about secrets and lies.  But a big part of it is a coming-of-age story about a teenager who has gone through a devastating "Incident", that he never really got over, and never understood.  Add hormones and typical teenage angst to the mix, and it is a rather sad story.  It is also a little dark.

I liked the ending, where everything got tied up nicely.

The author did an amazing job of taking us into a small town in 1984 America, where the library pays an important role.  Rickstad's  writing is really good, and he kept me engaged from start to finish.  I will definitely be looking into his other books.

I Am Not Who You Think I Am is the story of Wayland and his fathers suicide. He finds a note but keeps it to himself. Years later, he remembers something that propels him to ask questions. Will he get the answers he is looking for?

I am so torn by so much in this book. I loved Eric Rickstad's writing. I love his design of this book written as a manuscript sent to the cops. I loved that there was this internal struggle with the main character the whole book and I wanted to just give him a hug. Until the precise moment that I didn't. That is when the moral dilemma occurs. I am still deciding whether I cant stand Wayland or feel bad for him? I am so torn in the best way. I finished this book days ago and I am still thinking about. The twists were so good. What I think I loved most is that Eric Rickstad gave you all the tools to solve it yourself. It wasn't one of those books where you are blindsided and had no idea it was coming. When the whole story is finally revealed you are like, " OMG HOW DID I MISS THIS????" So well done and I highly recommend this one!

I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I did not see ending coming. Great story line. Unfortunately redemption doesn't always happen.

I thought this book was outstanding! The writing, the characters, and the story were so interesting and so well-written. I will definitely look for more books from this author.
After 8 year old Wayland Maynard witnessed his father's suicide, he was changed forever, and so was his family. Wayland has trouble connecting with with anyone other than his best friend who means well but is not a good person a lot of the time. His sister, Lydia, is in an abusive relationship, where she derives her love an connections. His widowed mother works long hours trying to hold her family together and not remember what has happened to them since her husband shot himself and her family was left alone. Wayland questions the events surrounding his father's suicide, and when he starts digging for answers, the truth is more shocking and harmful than he ever imagined it would be, very sad too. I had thoughts, while reading, what could have really happened to Wayland's father but never was I able to connect all the dots. I really DID NOT see that ending coming. Definitely a page turner until the very last word.
Highly recommend this dark, twisty, suspenseful thriller.

I absolutely love Eric Rickstad's writing and was thrilled to find he was releasing a new book. I am Not Who You Think I Am is an addicting thriller filled with unlikable characters that I couldn't seem to look away from, and a mystery with twists and turns that I didn't seem happening.

Wayland witnesses his father kill himself when he's 8 years old and the only thing he has left of that day is a note that says "I am Not Who You Think I am". He keeps the note secret until 8 years later when he decides it's time for him to discover the truth of the note, his memories and what really happened. His actions along the way to discover the truth will forever change his life.

The book took me a little bit to get into. None of the character are really likeable, even our narrator Wayland. I also struggled to not be frustrated with his actions and had to remind myself he was only 16 years old. Teenagers never make the most rational decisions, especially when they are emotionally distraught. However, by the time I was halfway through the book I was just as paranoid as Wayland, just as angry at his so-called friend and held no trust in his mother. So as the rest of the story unfolded, I was just as shocked as he was.

I Am Not Who You Think I Am was wonderfully written, even if at times the circumstances happening on the page were hard to read. Wayland's story of obsession to learn the truth comes neatly to a close, but that close is nothing short of depressing.

This book had me SHOOK from the start, in the wildly unique way the story is introduced in the newspaper in a letter to the town. The prose is beautiful, gripping, and provocative. The plot is complex and full of surprises, keeping the reader engaged cover to cover. This novel has so many challenging moments that leave readers wrestling with the many moral dilemmas Wayland and others experience, forcing you to ask yourself, "what would I do?"
I thought this book is smart, compelling, and unique. Seeing and experiencing the events through the teenage perspective, while not reading like YA, makes I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM stand out.
I'm looking forward to interviewing the author.

Thanks to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for an advanced readers copy in exchange for an honest review.

3 stars

Wayland Maynard was eight when he witnesses his father's suicide. After eight years, Wayland starts searching for answers.

I didn't enjoy the book.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for gifting me both a digital and audiobook of this thriller by Eric Rickstad. 4.5 stars!

When he was only 8, Wayland saw his father die by suicide. He found the suicide note that read, I am not who you think I am, that he hid from his mother. Now 16, he has discovered a few things that are making him question exactly what he saw. With his two friends, he sets out to find records and uncover the truth. But he also finds he can't trust anyone.

I really enjoyed this book. Set in 1984, Wayland has to rely on actual records and legwork to find answers instead of typing his questions into a search engine. The mystery into his family's past will take him into places he never imagined. This is also a coming-of-age story within the mystery, as we see Wayland navigate his friendships and the opposite sex. The writing is wonderful - so descriptive - and kept me guessing until the surprising end. I especially loved the way the book opened, explaining that what was followed was a transcript of information received by the town. Brilliant!

I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad is an enthralling and engrossing read with a great plot and characters! Well worth the read

Part murder mystery, part psychological mind-f*ck and part coming of age story with a smidgeon of horror thrown in for good measure, I Am Not Who You Think I Am is one hell of a dark and twisted ride from the diabolical mind of Eric Rickstad.

At eight years old, Wayland Maynard witnessed his father commit suicide with a shotgun and finding a note that says “I am not who you think I am.” Reeling from the trauma and dumbfounded by the meaning behind the note, Wayland keeps that note secret until eight years later when he starts to believe it wasn’t his dad who killed himself that day. Unable to shake the feeling that things aren’t as they seem, Wayland kicks off his own investigation with the help of two friends with the goal to find the truth about what happened to his dad. Along the way, Wayland becomes suspicious of everyone, uncovers secrets that shatter his beliefs and leads to unimaginable discovery that alters his life forever in an irrevocable manner. Sometimes, it’s truly better to let the truth lay dead and buried.

This book is wonderfully messed up and feels like a great psychological thriller flick from the 1980’s, which makes sense since the bulk of this story takes place in the mid-80’s. But it’s more than just the time period and small-town setting. It’s a bunch of little things – a powerful family who basically owns the town, using microfilm to do research at the library, kids having the autonomy to wander around with minimal adult supervision, landline phones, creepy mansions on the hill, and more – that come together to weave a tale that’s simultaneously fresh and familiar.

A fast-paced page turner that's hard to put down, I Am Not Who You Think I Am will keep you riveted and guessing throughout. Erik Rickstad delivers the goods in this book that’s sure to provide eerie and brain busting entertainment to readers looking for a disturbing psychological thriller to sink their teeth into.

I Am Not Who You Think I Am is a suspenseful, fast paced thriller that’s full of emotion. Wayland was such a multifaceted character who you watch deteriorate underneath his grief. I loved the beautiful writing style in this one and the slow build in the beginning while the scene was being set. I also appreciated all the little hints given throughout the book that led up to the ending. I admit I missed those hints and the ending was a surprise for me, but that’s what I love in a mystery. Highly recommend this for mystery and thriller lovers.

I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad
Blackstone Publishing
Expected publication: September 28th, 2021
Review date: August 29, 2021
ISBN1094000337

Wayland Maynard was 8 when he witnessed his father’s suicide. His father blew his face off with a shotgun. There was a note on the floor and Wayland took it and kept it hidden from everyone. The note said, “I am not who you think I am.”

I thought Charles Horton Cooley’s quote would explain the title, the note, and therefore the premise of the novel. Here it is: “I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.” Was his father leading a secret life? About a quarter of the way into the book, I had questions: Was the man whose feet dangled off the bed not his father? Was he murdered? Was he taken away? Did someone else write the note? Wayland was the one who identified the body as his father. Maybe he was wrong about everything….

Rickstad’s lush descriptions of environments transported me into his fictional world. For example: “The library crackled with silence and smelled of stale binding glue and fresh magazine ink.”(p. 57.) I was right there in the library with Wayland. Another example: “The clouds had parted, and the moon cast the open landscape in silver hues, as if I’d stepped into an old gel print negative” (p. 114-115). I’m imaging looking at a roll of developed black-and-white negatives. His words are powerful.

I’m Not Who You Think I Am is a fast read because there is so much action. I enjoyed it and look forward to reading other works by Rickstad.
4 stars

Very dark and then it delivered one scene of animal cruelty after another, I had to stop. I realize we are reading the story of a tortured soul but the despair was so unrelenting, I could not continue.

When he was eight years old, Wayland witnessed his father commit suicide. Now, eight years later in 1984, Wayland begins to suspect that it was not really his father he saw shoot himself. His quest to find the truth leads to shocking revelations about his family, and the destruction of his own life and the lives of those around him.

Wayland is a sympathetic character, shy and insecure, and loving toward his dog and sister. He's remorseful about not showing enough appreciation for his mother. But his penchant for making assumptions that seem reasonable at the time but turn out to be mistaken, however, leads him to become increasingly angry and frantic. The frenetic final few chapters lead to a devastating and heartbreaking conclusion. A great page-turner with a lot of twists.

Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself, finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am, and is left reeling with grief and shock. Eight years later, Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried.

I absolutely loved this dark and eerie story. It's a quick, emotional and thrilling page-turner with a lot of twists and turns. The story is very engaging and I couldn't wait to find the truth. The writing is very atmospheric and creepy and it reminded me a lot of Stephen King. I highly recommend this book and it will definitely be on my top 10 list for 2021. Don't miss out on this excellent book.

Thanks to the author, the publisher and NetGalley for this copy.

I listened to the audio version of this book, I enjoyed the narration and felt it added another layer to the already complex story. The story started out slow but I was invested after an hour or so. I enjoyed the author’s way of describing things so clearly it feels like you could almost watch the scenes.