Holy cow, this book was nuts! I could not put it down. There were so many emotions contained here. Many triggers though. There were parts that made me want to vomit. This book will make you appreciate everything you have. This book will stay with me for a long time.

This is a beautiful and emotional story. The story of two sisters and their survival was so hard to read because of what they went through, but easy to read because of the wonderful writing and the fact that early on, you're so invested in seeing them succeed and live a better life.

I read this book when I downloaded, but unfortunately forgot to leave a review at that time and no longer remember enough details to give a proper review.

I enjoyed this way more than I was thinking i would. I feel like the heavy topics were handled very well.I was so invested in the characters and I just wanted the best for Carey and Nessa. Some of the aspects of the story were a little unrealistic in terms of the girls adjusting to their new environment.

Four and half stars: A beautifully written, heartbreaking book that will tug at your heartstrings.

Carey is worried. It has been two months since their mother left them, and their food supply is starting to dwindle. Carey and Jenessa are used to their mom disappearing, but not for this long. Carey’s anxiety rises when she hears the sound of footsteps in the woods near their secluded camper. A social worker and a man are outside insisting they are there to help. The man is Carey’s father, the one who beat and abused them according to Mama. Carey has no choice but to go with her father if she wants to protect her sister. As Carey and Jenessa renter normal life, Carey begins to come to terms with the past. She can’t deny that she is happy to see her sister safe and content. Carey will so whatever it takes to protect her sister’s happiness, even if that means sacrificing her own. Will Carey survive the darkness?
What I Liked:
*This book deserves all the accolades. I can’t believe I let this one linger in my pile this long. In all honesty, I put it off because I feared it would be too dark and sad. Yes, this book is troubling and it is filled with atrocities committed upon Carey and Jenessa by their drug addled, abusive mother. Yet, despite all of the neglect and abuse, their is hope, happiness and tremendous courage. This is a beautifully written book packed full of heart and emotion. If you have yet to read it, I urge you to do so.
*Carey is an unforgettable character who is fierce, brave, protective and wise beyond her years. I thought the author did an excellent job with her characterization. I especially liked the use of improper grammar in Carey’s dialect. Carey may be smart, but her backwoods upbringing tended to show in her speech when she was upset or feeling vulnerable. Her poor grammar is in no means reflective of her intelligence. Carey is sharp and sophisticated. Even though she has been wronged time and time again, she never gives up, she never quits fighting and she shows stout courage time and time again. She is broken and damaged, but she rarely lets that side of her show. I had so much respect for Carey, especially when it came to the way she cared for her sister. She sacrificed everything for Janessa. Carey is outstanding. I wanted to cheer for her, and then curl up in a ball and sob on her behalf.
*I was terrified to read this because I expected this to be a heart wrenching tale of abuse. I need not have feared, because this is also a story about new beginnings, healing, family and love. The author managed to touch upon so many emotions without tearing my heart out. This is a beautifully written book with so much heart.
*I loved watching Carey slowly let go of the misconceptions her mother forced on her. Carey quickly finds love and happiness and friendship. It takes a long time for her to open herself up and be able to trust others, but she gets there. Watching her metamorphosis was a powerful and emotional journey.
The ending is bittersweet. It is gut wrenching but also hopeful. I was so happy when Carey faced her demons and truly conquered her past. I finished the book with hope.
*I listened to the audiobook version narrated by Tai Sammons. Ms. Sammons did an exceptional job with the dialect. I thought her voices for Carey and her mother were spot on. Get the audiobook version if you can.
And The Not So Much:
*There were only a couple of things that prevented this from being a five star read. First, the ending was too abrupt and open. It ends at pivotal moment for Carey. I wanted desperately to see the outcome. What happened after her devastating secret was revealed? How did she repair the relationship with her father? I wanted so much more on both of these angles.
*The other big problem for me was the lack of information on Carey’s mother I wanted a better understanding of Carey’s mother. What led to her downward spiral? Was she always abusive?
*I was also disappointed that we didn’t get more from Carey’s father. I wanted more of his view point. I felt cheated that I wasn’t able to get more on how he felt. I wished to know more about how her father coped with Carey’s disappearance and how he felt when she was recovered. I was bothered that he never really sat down and talked with Carey until the final scene.
*Finally, I was bothered by the way Carey’s stepsister bullied her. I thought her behavior was abhorrent, then there is this breakthrough moment that felt a bit to easy. I wish that there was more from Delaney’s perspective so I could understand her.
*A word of caution, this book is best suited for older, mature readers. It deals with gross child neglect and abuse as well as instances of sexual abuse, rape and drug use.

If You Find Me is a powerful, moving, heartbreaking tale that will tug at your heartstrings. This is a story about how a girl survives neglect, hardship, abuse and hunger. Don’t be afraid of this book, it sounds dark and full of sorrow, but it truly isn’t. This is a book about a fierce girl who, despite her circumstances, fights for her future, and she manages to find a family, friendship and love along the way. This book is worthy of all the praise, and it is one that I should have read long ago. Don’t miss this one!

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own, and I was not compensated for this review.
Posted@Rainy Day Ramblings.

Two sisters, raised (if that's the right term) in the woods, away from society, suddenly find themselves in a "regular" house, with a father, step-mother and step-sister. Can't be easy, right? Add to that selective mutism, a dark secret and a sense of being abandoned by their meth-addicted mother and you've got an interesting book.

The sense of dislocation that Carey feels, her bewilderment at the changes and whether she even deserves this sudden good luck were all very realistically written. Because we're only getting her story, it's less clear how the others are coping; Nessa's opening up to Melissa makes sense because when you're young, desperate for affection, you can more easily become comfortable with people who are warm and welcoming. The other children (Delly, Pixie, Ryan, etc.) also feel real. Less so are the adults.

Perhaps because this was an e-ARC, the flashbacks to life with Mama were sometimes confusing - if the finished book has typography or something that sets those off, it will be helpful to readers. I did like that this ends on a somewhat ambiguous note: what will happen now that the Big Secret is out? what did happen to Mama? Not every book needs to answer every question.

I read an advanced copy of "If You Find Me," by Emily Murdoch in February and it grabbed me from page one. It's a departure from what I normally read (those who have read this blog before know I have a strong preference for graphic novels and dystopian sci-fi) but man oh man is this a good one.
Be warned - this one is for mature readers. There are some fairly graphic descriptions of child sexual abuse here, so if you're planning to give this to a younger reader, know your child before handing it over. It is disturbing. But please don't let that put you off from reading this, because at its heart "If You Find Me" is a beautiful story about love, survival and family that should be shared.

Oh my heart. It just ached and also swelled with feelings for these sisters. It’s one of those reading experiences where I realize how lucky I was as a kid because there are all sorts of real life people who endure these things they did. I actually have someone very close to me who experienced what the mom did to these kids (minus like the extreme poverty and such — the taking them away). This was such an emotional and compelling novel that definitely tugged on my heart strings.

1. My heart ached for Carey and Jenessa: It ached for the conditions they lived in with no running water or electricity and a young girl taking care of a baby. The things they saw and experienced and how they had to work so hard to just survive. My heart ached as they are brought back into society and went to live with the father that their mother forced them away from. My heart couldn’t handle the sort of feelings I had as they tried to reconcile who they were vs. the world they haven’t ever really known vs. everything their mom told them. It was in the small things like them experiencing a real shower or a tv but also how they integrated into a real family.They’ve gone from being just the two of them and their mom (sometimes) to living with their dad they’ve never known and his family. Then they are expected to exist in a society they haven’t known — school, lingo they haven’t heard, pop culture/fashion they know nothing about.

2. As someone who has sisters the bond of those two sisters just took hold of me: Carey has basically taken care of Jenessa for her whole life as a motherly figure and really all they have is each other. They’ve been through awful things together and the bond that happens between sisters in all the good, bad and in between moments is so strong in this story. It melted my heart really. Even in the bad situation they were living in, they had their good times because they were together and weathered all the storms together. I thought a lot about my sister and I and how even in the worst times of our life (losing our mom for instance) we’ve always been there for each other.

3. Carey is one strong character: Early on Carey takes on a role that no child that young should have to. But she does it and all the things she goes through turn her into the amazing person she has turned out to be. She is wise beyond her years out of necessity. She takes care of her baby sister. She does the cooking. She is resourceful, thinks quick on her feet and even teaches her and her sister things that the other kids would be learning in school. I was just constantly amazed by her and the kind of person she was really reminded me of someone I know who is young and has had to grow up more quickly than most do.

FINAL THOUGHTS

If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch was equally as heartbreaking as it was heart LIFTING. It just was the type of story that really got to me emotionally and wedged its way into my heart so much that when I had to put it down I kept thinking about it until I picked it back up…and well after I finished. It was an amazing, beautifully written story about sisters and family and just how the human spirit can just be so so beautifully alive and can triumph even in the worst situations.