listened to the podcast, I saw the series and now I've read the book. If it wasn't for my addiction to True Crime podcasts I would have missed out on Debra's story of love, survival and heartbreak.

The book is much grittier and scarier than the portrayal in the TV series. Debra opens up her life story while others would have hid it potentially saving many other women from a similar or worse fate.

John Meehan was a predator and he found his perfect prey. He did, what is typical of abusers. He isolated his prey, manipulated them and lied over and over again. John Meehan waved red flag after red flag but his master manipulation made it invisible.

Debra's account will leave you frustrated until you realize that you can't and shouldn't victim blame. It's easier to look in from the outside and make judgments. She has a history of abuse making her the perfect target.

The writing can be repetitive but it is a simple read especially if your a fan of the TV series.

If you know me you know I am OBSESSED with true crime. Dirty John has podcasts and shows and movies. I never indulged in them. Knew vaguely about the case so I was able to go in to this with zero judgement and knowledge. #survivingdirtyjohn #debranewell #mwilliamphelps I don’t even know where to start with this one. First off. She’s a real person who has been through unfathomable events. To say it was mind blowing and just …. I don’t even know how to review this. This woman who has been so incredibly unlucky and yet some aspects lucky (her children, career). I guess in hindsight it’s easy for all of us to judge and say red flag. Or. What is wrong with you. Sigh. But. I digress. If you are looking for a first hand tale of the events this is the book for you. She admits to her stupidity. Naïveté. And I appreciate that. The writing style tho. Yes. It feels like she’s speaking to us. But some of it was just over done. Like girl call that man honey or by his name. Some parts felt inauthentic. Not in a bad way. But maybe she was just overdoing it to get the point across. It’s fascinating to get in the lives and be a fly on the whole to a horrific relationship with a monster. #truecrime #netgalley #bookstragrammer #dirtyjohn #readersofinstagram #netgalleyreads #bookishtruecrime #reading #truecrimeobsessed

As a fan of the podcast and show based on Newell's experience with Dirty John, I was eager to read this book. It was interesting to hear from Debra, to gain insight into her POV during such a horrific personal experience.

Possible educational settings:
Forensic, psychology, mass media portrayal, interpersonal communications.
Would add this in to class curriculum in late undergrad/graduate school.

Thank you to NetGalley for a free eARC copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.

This case became popular just as I was starting grad school for forensic psychology-- I ate up everything in the media, but always felt that <i>something</i> was missing.

Yes, the podcast and tv show portray parts very accurately, but Debrah's voice as a victim turned survivor gets lost. It was hard for me not to judge Debra based on the media's portrayal-- and I am fully trained in and aware of coercive control, personality disorders, domestic violence, and how it all relates to the law. I am so glad I read this book, because <b>all</b> victims and survivors should be able to talk about their experience.

Thanks to Netgalley and BenBella Books for an advanced copy of this book!

I already knew a lot about Debra Newell and the Dirty John saga from various outlets-- I have listened to the podcast and watched the Bravo dramatized series, so I wasn't sure how much new information I was going to get from this book, but was excited to hear it directly from Debra rather than through a third party.

There are some additional tidbits throughout this book that were new info to me. Debra gives a lot of context and background about her upbringing, as well as the abusive relationship that her sister was in that ultimately lead to her murder. I thought the way the beginning was structured was very strong and enjoyed the back and forth between her initial relationship with John and her past relationships and childhood that really set up the second half of the book.

She also provides a lot of information about coercive control, which is how Dirty John infiltrated her life and kept such a grip on her. Debra also talks about the judgment she's received, which was quite sad. She is definitely a victim in this story and to suggest anything else is just cruel. I respect her sharing her story to help others at the expense of some of her own privacy and harsh judgment from others.

That said, I did not think that this book was particularly well-written and it felt like a bit of a drag at points. It is very repetitive and the timeline is almost linear, but not quite, and so it is a bit hard to follow at times. As a by-product of the harassment she's received, Newell spends a lot of time overexplaining and asking us not to judge, and I think certain sections of this book could've done with a stronger edit.

Overall I appreciated the chance to hear the story from Debra's point of view but thought this book could've been pared down and edited just a bit more.

I first learned of this case from the hit podcast. I was immediately sucked in and was telling everyone to listen to it. I am so happy that Debra Newell decided to put her experience into words so that she could take control of any narrative and explain why she stayed. It was awesome and very well done.

Most people are familiar with this story. This woman, Debra, was played by a man who claimed to be in love with her but really was after her money. He was a top-level professional con-artist. I had watched a documentary on something similar and was sucked into it so I knew I would be interested in the subject matter of this book.

For the most part I found the story very interesting. I unfortunately didn't love the writing. I know the author probably feels a little embarrassed about this happening to her but she kept defending herself over and over and kept making comments "now remember..." reminding the reader that she thought he was the love of her life. Now I 10000% blame John for what happened however Debra apparently has been in situations before. It sounds like she is way too trusting and her kids warned her a million times. Debra is the victim and it's not her fault but I do think she needs to learn from her experiences and move on with her life accordingly. To blindly trust everyone even after a ton of red flags is only doing a disservice to herself and her family.

The story was enough to keep me entertained and I would definitely recommend the read but the writing is just not spectacular in my opinion.

Yikes! This story is terrifying! I have to admit that multiple times will reading through Newell's story, I would think of what I would have done. But as she says, hindsight is 20/20. I can only be thankful I have never been through something similar. I have not listened to the podcast or watched the TV series, so this is my first exposure to Newell's story and I am glad I was able to hear it through her own view. Easy to read, this book earns its stars just based on the writing, but the importance of this topic makes it an even more necessary read. It is horrifying how little support Newell was able to get from law enforcement. Newell's high income didn't keep her and her family safe, but the fact that she had monetary resources put an extra focus on protective measures she was able to take that many may not have access to (such as moving around frequently, hiring lawyers, etc) when being ignored by lawyers.

Absolutely terrifying and incredibly honest account of a true story in which Debra is taken in by an excruciatingly clever psychopath. She falls in love with this (seemingly) perfect man she meets online but little did she know he has an extensive history of coercing and manipulating people, particularly women and a criminal record of remarkable length.
Debra comes across very well, as I mentioned she is very honest, even about her own failings, which to be fair are only human. She appears very intelligent, loving and driven with a great work ethic, this makes it even more chilling as it is easy to believe that anyone could’ve found themselves in her situation.
At times the narrative is incredibly tense and terrifying, but this is really humbling as obviously it’s only the very tiniest fraction of what the family endured. Very brave to share and relive this and you had the best intentions in warning others, there is some shocking evil out there.

Coercive control is new terminology to me, but I have a better understanding of this concept after reading Debra Newell's account of her own frightening experiences in Surviving Dirty John. I am afraid that many of us have friends or family members who have fallen victim to coercive control. The author has done an admirable job of sharing her own story in the hopes of educating others who find themselves in similar circumstances. Thanks to NetGalley and BenBella books for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Debra Newell is an amazing woman who has overcome so many bad men in her life. I am inspired that she can open her heart and share all her negative experiences with the public. I have witnessed similar situations with people in my family and know that these kind of men somehow know when a woman is vulnerable, and that the woman gets targeted over and over by different men.

I have never watched the Bravo series, but I did listen to the podcast way back in the day! I think the book aligns pretty well with what I can remember of the podcast but with more backstory, as well as, Debras POV.

(I'm reading an ARC of this book so this stuff might be fixed with a published copy.) My problems with this book is the way it's written. It jumps around in the timeline a lot in a way that doesn't make sense. She also contradicts herself a little. It also has pictures of her growing up and with John in the middle of the book with captions that spoil what John later does to her family. But maybe she only intended for readers to already know the story of the relationship between her and John.

I still highly recommend reading this book as Debra is truly an amazing woman and has overcome so much in her life.

Thank you NetGalley and BenBella Books for the ARC. I truly enjoyed reading Debra's point of view on Dirty John.

I have listened to the "Dirty John" Podcast and watched the limited run series on the case as well. This is a terrifying story and hard to put down when reading Debra's first hand experience with a horrible person. A few of the sections were a bit long and drawn out but all in all this was really well done. It isn't often a person survives a terrible circumstance like this and has the strength to share it. Debra share's her story not only to clear up the "hollywoodizing" of this tragedy but to share how something like this can happen to a smart successful woman.

The writing is well done. This book was different from what I usually read but I was quite surprised that I actually read it fairly quickly .

I do recommend

Let me start out by saying Debbie Newell was 1000% a victim in all this, and I’m in no way judging her for her choices. That being said the book felt a little bit repetitive. Also the way she toggled, in the beginning, from her time with John to her childhood felt off. I think because of the way it went back and forth is why it felt repetitive. Had she finished one thought before going back she wouldn’t have had to remind the reader where she left off. Another thing was too much unnecessary or unanswered questions. (What happened to Billy? Where did the rest of her go? Did we need to know she paid her lease in full up front? How many times can she mention she dated celebs?)

The first half of the book dragged a little but the second half was a quick read. What I walked away with is Debbie raised some strong kiddos. I’d have Liz and Terra in my corner any day of the week. Ben and his brother deserved better. Oh and Debbie’s picker is broken she needs to let Liz choose her next man. Also the laws need to be changed. (He literally said he was going to hurt the family. Let’s take him at his word.)

I came into the book knowing nothing about Dirty John (I had seen the show advertised on tv) and I’m so glad I was able to hear the story straight from someone that lived it. That poor woman was so abused and people should not judge her.

This book is a great read for victims and those who are looking forward to stronger thoughts and lives! To hear a story of survival is inspiring, highly emotional and gives plenty of comfort.
Well written Debra, thank you!

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thanks to BenBella Books and NetGalley.

John Meehan was a predator. He picked his prey and groomed them. He wormed his way into every aspect of their lives and left them believing everything he said and did. He was a master manipulator, a pathological liar and a psychopath. In 2014 he sets his sights on Debbie Newell, an extremely successful woman, the owner of a multi-million dollar company. Debbie had a record of picking the wrong man. With a history of abuse, she still believed in love. She came across naive, but John knew exactly what buttons to push, and while it would be easy to vilify Debbie, we did not walk in her shoes. We did not live or witness the coercive control (CC) he used on her. “CC is more sophisticated than brainwashing. CC is a strategic pattern of behavior designed to exploit, control, create dependency, and dominate. Dirty John is a story of love, deceit, denial, revenge, ruin, and ultimately survival”. Debbie Newell was a victim and Surviving Dirty John is her story,

First and foremost, I want to say that Debbie is a remarkable woman to be able to survive what she has and be able to overcome all the negative comments to write this book on her life with John Meehan.

The only issues I had with the book was the way it was written. At times it was repetitive and I didn’t like how the timeline bounced around. Also, sometimes things were stated that I felt didn’t have a lot to do with the subject.

That being said, I think it’s a great book for anyone who likes true crime and wants to learn more about a particular subject. Also, it is a great book for someone who wants to see the truth behind Bravo’s series. And lastly, I think the book is a GREAT resource for helping people avoid being in similar situations and could have potential reach someone in an abusive receive the help they need to leave their abuser.

Thank you Netgalley, Debbie Newell, and BenBrella books for a copy of Surviving Dirty John for an honest review.

Surviving Dirty John is a book that as much as it is a horrible story it is also compelling and you have to admire Debra Newell for telling her story.

It is hard for us to imagine why she didn't run out the door and despite her daughters warnings Debra was totally fooled and controlled by John but unless we have been there we can't begin to imagine the hold he had over Debra.

John met Debra and from the first date she was his prey .

I admire her daughters and I admire Debra for once she saw John for what he really was she did her best to escape his power.

Debra was a victim and narcissist like John can always recognize that.

It is a story well worth reading and I hope that even if one person learns the red flags to look for then Debra Newell has more than succeeded and she is as she says "I am no longer his victim."

Surviving Dirty John is a book that will stay with me a very long time.

Thanks to Netgalley and BenBella books for a compelling read.

Enjoyed the Netflix series and this gave more detail,I must have forgotten this was her 5th marriage and was therefore fairly surprised she was hoodwinked by someone after having 4 failed goes but things happen amd he was more than determinded to get what he wanted
I did enjoy it although maybe found the constant justification of actions a bit waring by the end

This book was both good and horrifically awful. The writing itself was good. Crisp and clear, and it gives you the full specteum of Debra's relationship with John Meehan - the good, the bad, and the very very ugly. However I had a visceral reaction to this book and overall my reaction is just...how could you not see the red flags? I know hindsight is 20/20, and John probably didn't let his real self be seen before getting married. But after being married four previous times, and being pressured into most of those marriages, you would think that the fifth time being pressured to wed immediately would throw up some warning signs? I don't know. I just wish Debra had made different choices. 3.5 stars rounded down.