If you watched the limited series "Dirty John" and think you know the story, think again. I read this book shortly after streaming the series and the book has totally reshaped my perception of Debra Newell. She is not fairly portrayed on film. This is her real story. The story of coercive control, brainwashing, manipulation, and how another person can basically charm you to death with love bombing and gaslighting. It's a scary story partly because an abuser such as John Meehan may not be violent.....until it's too late. Fortunately since this case the laws have become tougher on stalking and physical violence isn't required before anything can be done.
This is a must-read for any person, regardless of sex or sexuality. Know the warning signs and know that someone can pretend to be anyone they want to be on-line. Thank you, Debra, for telling your real story.
#SurvivingDirtyJohn #netgalley

Quality of Writing: 10/10

Pace: 10/10

Plot Development: N/A

Characters: N/A

Enjoyability: 10/10

Insightfulness: 10/10

Ease of Reading: 8/10

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’m gonna start with the the impersonal part of my review first, because that is what people read these reviews for.

The writing is very well done. There are a few phrases about judgement that are repeated a several times, but considering what Newell went through and what her mental health must look like, it’s understanding. I enjoyed how the chapters were divided up, showing not only her life with John Meehan, but also her life before him and her previous marriages. It never lost sight of what the book was truly about though. It was well paced. I only became impatient at the end because I already knew why the story was leading up to due to a google search.

I enjoyed the story immensely, not because of the awful narrative it told, but because I was learning something new and it was something I could relate to. This was the first time I heard the term “coercive control”.

I believe the term “coercive control” could be used to talk about my first marriage. Laura Richards’ definition is, “Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behavior designed to exploit, control, create dependency, and dominate. The victim’s everyday existence is micromanaged and [their] space for action, as well as potential as a human being, is limited and controlled by the abuser.”

I related so much to this, and though I’ve never been married to a psychopath, I have been married to a narcissist. That’s why in regards to insightfulness, this gets a 10/10, and why I gave it an 8/10 for ease of reading. In regards to ability, it was easy to read, but emotionally it hit a bit close to home.

I hope that Debra Newell feels more understood after the release of her book and less victimized. The world needs more support for survivors, not more blaming.

This book is gripping and compelling, depicting the truths and horror of what happened in the Dirty John dramatization that many are familiar with

My thoughts: This was a riveting read all the way through, especially the end part. Some of you may know the story from the dramatization of it shown on TV. That’s not the real story. This is what happened according to the woman who lived it, told in her own words and written by M. William Phelps, my favorite true crime author and guru. Advance electronic review copy was provided by NetGalley, author Debra Newell, and the publisher.

Very good book. It was an interesting story. Scary at times. John was a real psychopath. The reason for the 4 stars....the writer repeated herself several times throughout the book. Some was for emphasis, some was redundant.

I think this book can't be reviewed as a whole entirely, every aspect has to be reviewed separately, so, here we go...
1) the writing style, it felt kind of repetitive and dull, there were some sentences that kept being in repeated as if the author wanted carved into our mind, for example: Debra's request for us not to judge her time. And again, which felt quite... Irritating? She should've told her story and left the rest for us as reader, isn't this how it supposed to be with books??!
2) the sequence, at the beginning of the book, the narrative was taking place in two different times, the first in 1980s following Debra's sister, Cindi, abusive relationship with her husband, and the second describing the date life of Debra herself in the present,, i thought that was done quite well, it gave the story a foundation, and it kind of painted a bigger picture of Debra's life and upbringing for the reader to be able to understand where she was coming from and why she kept taking decisions that some would find wrong.
3) I'm not going to critique the story itself, because i wouldn't be comfortable criticizing the victim, even if she took some risky decisions, and also, no one deserves abuse.
For me, that was my first time hearing about the whole ordeal regarding dirty John, maybe if i have known more about the case beforehand i would've been more invested in the story.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange of an honest review via netgalley and the publisher*