In this book, the author addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging.

In selecting this title, I was anticipating a funny, insightful, witty, and heartwarming recap on the challenges of aging.

Instead, this book fell flat.

WHY?

1) The author is male and I am female.
Perhaps we face different aging challenges.

2) I did not chuckle once.
Perhaps we have a different sense of humor.

I listened to the audiobook read by Michael Butler Murray. The narration was good but not great.

Special thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I don’t think I’m the intended audience for Petrow's personal essay collection, although I did find some value in some of his advice on aging gracefully
Thank you NETGALLEY for the arc in exchange for my opinion

I may not be the exact intended audience for Petrow's personal essay collection but did find some value in some of his advice on aging.

*received for free from netgalley for honest review* What a great, hilarious book lmao really loved reading it and hope i remember the important things when im old lol

“Throw it in the fuck it bucket.”

I almost passed this book over as the synopsis sounded…. well… judgey. After finishing Steven Petrow’s Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I’m Old, I’m glad that I read listened to this audiobook. It is amusing but more than that, it made me think. The author starts with, as the title suggests, a list of things he swears he will NOT do when he is old, and this was generated by watching his parents age and grow ill. After the death of his parents, he reread his list and realized that the motivations behind the list were complex. He added that he sees “more clearly now that I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder to me to make different choices when I eventually crossed the threshold into my senior, sunset or silver years.” The short chapters are infused with humour, anecdote, and then backed up with facts and figures.

My attention was almost immediately pulled into the author’s quest to understand aging and its challenges when he asks at age 63 “am I old?” So he begins asking friends on Facebook ‘when are we old?’ The answers were varied–some amusing, some poignant. Physical limitations were mentioned a lot, and I suspect that those markers were significant for those who define themselves by their physical ability. I wonder if this cohort will have a harder time aging–I suspect so. I was, then, interested to hear that “old is not synonymous with ill, disabled or even injured.” Researchers state that the old-age “threshold” in America is 71 for men and 74 for women, and that “our true age” contains many factors, including how happy we are.


In one chapter, “I Won’t Colour My Hair,” Steven Petrow describes his “unfortunate adventure in hair colouring.” After spending 100s of $ trying to fix a bad dye job, Petrow still ended up looking like a “trashy secretary from Staten Island.” It gets guts to publicly point out one’s mistakes, laugh about it, and move on. Other chapters include discussing habits that “mark” us as “geriatric” and “Elder Abuse of Technology“–phrases and habits that scream: “Old Person On the Loose Online.” (OPOTLO)

Another chapter, “I Won’t Lie About My Age–Even on Dating Apps” discusses the author’s experience with online dating. After separating from his husband, the author Joined Tinder, Match and OKCupid and here he learned that many people lied about their age while admitting he “used to be one of those people who shaved a few years, or more, off their true age. either to avoid appearing like a dinosaur or to improve their odds of finding a match online.” He joined in with the “fudging” but then was outed by his Wikipedia page. It’s funny, but not surprising, to hear how age cheaters on dating sites are prolific and that users screen for age-cheaters by lie-detecting questions, such as “where were you when…?” Petrow describes how an age-fibber created a “cheat sheet.” It’s really hilarious and sounds like so much work. Too much work.

Another chapter discusses sexuality. Petrow had testicular cancer in his 20s and so had to confront sexual difficulties early. Discussing sexual issues segues into the idea of how we all too often obsess on our health/issues/illness as we age in the chapter called “I Won’t Join the Organ Recital.” Recently, in line at the pharmacy, I noticed a few older customers, strangers, discussing their colonoscopies much to the disgust of a few thirty somethings also waiting–a trapped and horrified audience. This is a perfect example of exactly what the author means by talking, sometimes exhaustively, about health issues, which, let’s face it, younger generations must find boring and embarrassing. Hoarding, driving, falling, hearing loss, personal cleanliness, grumpiness all come up for discussion.

Ultimately this is an extremely positive, life-affirming book. One chapter that stuck with me is: “I Won’t Stop Enjoying Myself,” for its great outlook. This book has a target audience, and while most of the content can be applied to all of us–some things are considerations for those who have the extra funds to apply to life (wardrobe, assisted living, reconsidering employment options). This is not a criticism of the book–just an observation. I’m also going to add that some of this is easier said than done. It’s one thing to be old but still be able to go sit in the garden and smell the roses–literally or figuratively, but quite another to keep up one’s spirits if you’re the 90 something wheelchair bound lady with oxygen in her nose who’s parked in the doctor’s office by her family who will “send someone to pick her up” tout suite (and yes, I just observed this to my horror). Finally Steven Petrow kept me entertained and engaged. I’d already started Swedish Death Cleaning (without knowing the term) and I’d already committed to embracing and enjoying my old age. But then some of us have a high happiness set point, and some of us don’t. In other words, some of us are destined to be old misery guts/ratbags. You know who you are. … Obviously the author is NOT one of those people: he’s a fan of Mel Brooks and stresses the importance of laughter. So here’s to enjoying ourselves: After all, we’re only old once.

The late great Madeline Kahn as Lili von Shtupp in Blazing Saddles

Review copy

Unfortunately this was a DNF for me. It was probably due to my expectations as I went into it expecting a fun, fresh and insightful list of things to avoid as we grow older. But this book fell off the mark. It listed quite a few outdated things and outright shallow matters such as dying your hair, lying about your age and double spacing after a full stop.

It had so much potential but it fell flat for me. This wasn't for me. I didn't even chuckle.

Thank you to RB Media and NetGalley, for the arc of Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own.

#StupidThingsIWontDoWhenIGetOld #NetGalley

This was in the self help section but was more of a comedy.

I hadn't really listened to an audio book that wasn't narrated by the author before so this was a first. Audiobooks are quite personal and for me the narrator didn't quite work sadly

Thank you for the arc.

First, I want to clarify that I’m not old, though at times my body feels really old 😄And I didn’t pick up this book because I feel old but my parents are getting old and there are many times we’ve come to loggerheads because they’re too stubborn or can’t give up a bad habit that they’re used to. I read this mainly to understand them better and also to avoid some common mistakes being old tends to make people do, like feeling entitled for eg.

I loved this book and I’d recommend it to anyone cause let’s face it we’re dealing with old in some way or the other. It started as a humorous mocking satire of old age but as the book progresses I could see that it’s a practical view of what being old looks like. And especially with very independent and active parents it’s hard for them to accept that they’re not young and healthy as they used to be and there are some things which are beyond their capacity. And sometimes they’re too adamant to seek help due to their limitations.

Mr. Petrow has written this book all from personal experiences based on his struggles with his old parents and also from his and his friends’ experiences now that they’re in their fifties and sixties. They are just simple things but worth remembering when dealing with our old parents and what not to do when we eventually become old. And I loved that the narrator was able to capture the essence of the book brilliantly.

Thanks to NetGalley and HighBridge Audio for providing an ALC of the book in exchange for an honest opinion.

#NetGalley #StupidThingsIWon’tDoWhenIGetOld

I wasn't aware of Steven Petrow before listening to this audiobook. His writing is easy to digest and the book is peppered with humor throughout, both outright and subtle.

I didn't relate to a lot of the topics, being a little younger than the target readership (I assume), but there are lots of points that provoke thought about the future and how to approach your life as time ticks on.

Thank you to Netgalley & HighBridge Audio for a copy of the ARC in return for my honest review.

Unfortunately, this book is one I had to skim through, a lot, in order to finish. (And I nearly DNF'ed it...)

I expected a funny and insightful personal list of things to avoid doing as you get older, but sadly the book was neither.

It feels more like a bitter account of the struggles of a man growing older, focusing on somewhat shallow things, like dying your hair to look younger, lying about your age, talking, in lengthy depth, about erectile dysfunction and male insecurities about getting older.

It could have been funny and a sort of "what not to do" guide/list as you face the inevitable fact of ageing.
But... no. It just fell flat and not interesting at all.

I don't know if I'd recommend this book or not, but it wasn't the book for me sadly.


I still want to thank NetGalley and the publisher HighBridge Audio for allowing me to listen to the audiobook version in exchange for my honest review and opinion.

#StupidThingsIWontDoWhenIGetOld #NetGalley

This was a very enjoyable book to listen to making my usual journey to work end way too quickly. I looked forward to hearing the advice and observations of the author from his life and experiences and would recommend this audible book to anyone who enjoys reflection and likes to consider the way our lives work out.

EXCERPT: Perhaps you remember a few years ago, 'Saturday Night Live' spoofed the American Echo, better known as 'Alexa', beginning with this cautionary sentence: 'The latest technology isn't always easy for people of a certain age.' Referring to a fictitious partnership between Amazon and AARP, the announcer declares that the 'American Echo Silver' edition is designed specifically for the Greatest Generation. It is super loud, and responds to any name remotely like Alexa, including Allegra, Odessa, Anita, Alberta, Alisha, Alessandra, Excedrin and Alopecia. I especially liked the SNL promo for the Echo Silver's handy-dandy feature that helps old people find things.

'Amelia, where did I put the phone?'
'The phone is in your right hand.'

Alexa also provides the latest in sports:

'Clarissa, how many times did Satchel Paige strike out last night?'
'Satchel Paige died in 1982.'
'How many did he get?'
'Satchel Paige died. Is dead.'

Unlike other Alexa editions, this one also provides an 'uh-huh feature' for long rambling stories - because you know the stereotype of old people always repeating themselves.

Simultaneously hilarious and ageist, the skit highlighted several of the ways that our parents generation struggles to master new devices, social media apps and plain old email. Sure, we laugh - but it's not like we're doing so well right now, either.

For instance, one friend told me about her mother's struggles with the new TV she and her siblings had given her. 'Mom loved the picture quality, but the remote just about did her in. We heard from neighbours that every so often, they'd get a call asking for help,' she said. 'We finally figured out that every time Mom accidentally hit 'menu', she practically had to dial 911 - she could press up and down on volume and channels, but the options on the menu were beyond her, so she'd need help getting back to a screen she recognized.'

This friend got a good laugh out of it at the time, but now reports a new found sympathy for her mom. 'I have a new smart TV that's definitely smarter than I am,' she told me.

ABOUT 'STUPID THINGS I WON'T DO WHEN I GET OLD': Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way . . .

In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I’m Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

MY THOUGHTS: Getting older. We're all doing it, until we stop, and Steven has written about his parents and his own journey with an easy humour and realism that had me simultaneously laughing and recognizing little bits of both myself and my husband, and our parents.

He has written a checklist of pitfalls and ways to avoid them as we reach certain milestones. He hasn't confined himself to those amongst us who are aging healthily - he himself hasn't, and he offers great advice tempered with experience on judging just how much people want to know, and just how much and how to tell them.

Along with the amusing anecdotes and sage advice on aging both with and without familial support, Steven takes us through the journeys to the end of some of his beloved friends, and how well, or otherwise, they handled their impending demise.

There is plenty to take away from this read. It offers a wonderful insight for children struggling to deal with the changes in their aging parents, and for those of us who have no idea how we got to the number of years we are so rapidly. I am closer to 70 than 60. Some days I feel twenty one and some days I feel ninety one. I have no idea where all those years went, and so fast! but I enjoyed them and I intend to enjoy the years left to me, without being a burden. Thanks to Steven's lists I now have markers to recognize, and actions I can take.

A book for everyone, no matter your age.

⭐⭐⭐⭐.3

#StupidThingsIWontDoWhenIGetOld #NetGalley

I: @mrstevenpetrow @kensingtonbooks

T: @StevenPetrow @KensingtonBooks

# health #memoir #aging #practicalguide #nonfiction #life

THE AUTHOR: Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and book author who is best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and LGBTQ issues. He's currently a contributing writer to The Post and The Times as well as a columnist for USA Today.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Kensington Books, Citadel, via Netgalley for providing both a digital ARC and an audio ARC of Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow, and narrated by Michael Butler Murray, for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions. I greatly enjoyed Michael Butler Murray's narration.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This review and others are also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage

This was a good self help book. As a 26 year old I really appreciated this one. It made me look at life differently and I wanted more

This book is about all the things we can do to make our future (older) lives easier not just for ourselves but also our family. Like saving the money, booking the assisted living facility in advance, planning the funeral, writing the eulogy we want and definitely not be stubborn.

Apart from these things as the author is himself from a different generation from me, I learnt a few extra things. Like the people from typewriter age used to put two spaces after a period :)

This hit a little too close to home. While I am younger than the author, several of his stories could and will eventually happen to me (and all of us). Telling these stories with his wit and humor softened the blow and the reminder that respecting all people will get you respect in return was welcome. I loved these stories and highly recommend this collection.

Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow is a completely comical summary of "things" old people do and say that is all wrong. I found this audiobook to be highly entertaining and enlightening. Steven Petrow is a skilled writer and put together a great book of insights.

This book was great. Period. Full stop. I could stop right here and would have said everything that needs to be said about it. However, since I did agree to review it, I'll say more than that.

I was not familiar with Steven Petrow before reading this book. As I read it, I came to understand that he is a rather famous and well-known journalist, but I had no knowledge of that beforehand. No, I chose to read this book because I thought it sounded like a funny and enjoyable way to pass the time. I was thinking of it being like Justin Halpern's "S*!# My Dad Says."

It's not like that at all, although there is some humor in it.

The first third of the book had me chuckling and thinking, "Yep. I know exactly what he means. My {insert elderly relative here} does that same thing, and it's so frustrating." It was humorous and relatable.

The second third of the book grew a little more serious, and while there were still moments of true laughter and humor, I found myself being more pensive and listening with my, "I need to be better about that" ears on.

When Petrow spoke about dementia and how it's kinder to live in the lie with them than constantly correct and hurt them, that really resonated with me, and I kept nodding my head and thinking about how much good info I was getting from this book I thought was going to be a silly distraction.

The final third of the book? I was squalling. Maybe it's because my dad is in his final "no more treatments" stage of cancer or maybe it's just that we all think about losing the ones we love (and them losing us) more than we'd like to admit... Whatever it was, I had tears just streaming down my face. It was so poignant and heartfelt. It truly moved me.

Up until that final stretch, I would have rated this book a solid four stars. After that, though, I had to bump it up to five. It's such a good book, and it really reminds you to make the most of each day and the time you have with your loved ones. It reminds you to say all the things that need to be said while there's still time. It's heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once.

As for the other aspects - the narrator, the pacing, etc. - it was all fine. The pace of the book was excellent. I never once felt like I was being dragged along at a snail's pace. The narrator brought a lot of life into the book. He has somewhat of a David Sedaris vibe that fit well with the tone of the book.

Honestly, though, he could have been the world's worst narrator, and I still would have given this book five stars. It was that good.

I'm sure we all think our parents or grandparents can be embarrassing and do things that we would never do when we get to their age, well, think again. When Steven Petrow was 50, he began to make a list of all the things his parents were doing wrong and eventually, all these lists became this book. Now, I am in my 60s and I laughed wholeheartedly as I listened to this book. I also had a list in my mind of things my mother did that I was never going to do, but, I know I have turned into my mother, at least partly. There is a lot to laugh at in this book, as you see yourself in its pages, but there are also some serious points that are helpful. If you are a younger person reading or listening to this book, listen carefully. You will see where you might be able to curb your frustrations and impatience with older relatives and friends. One really important thing I took from this book is that we need to have a positive frame of mind and live life to the fullest, even as we age. I really enjoyed Steven Petrow's anecdotes that he shared with his readers and I think I would love to meet and talk to him. The audiobook was narrated by Michael Butler Murray and I loved his performance and reading of this book. I really felt like I was sitting and listening to someone sharing their stories with me in a café or livingroom. I definitely recommend this book to everyone. It is a pure delight. The publisher generously provided me with a copy of this book upon request. The rating and opinions shared are my own.

If you enjoy David Sedaris, you will enjoy this book. I listened to the audio version and found myself laughing. I am now 70, the age he’s talking about as being old. I hope that I am one of the “perennials” in his book, someone who can adapt to change (like in being able to keep up with phone technology). I could have written this book, too, at a younger age, and I’m glad I’m able to continue to laugh about what the body does to us despite what we plan.

Even though this is basically just borrowed advice from a bunch of other people, I still liked it and the way it was written.