Jacob is dying and there are things he wants his son Isaac, who he hasn't spoken to in many years, to know. Through letters he shares stories about his ancestral legacy in rural Arkansas that extends back to slavery, secrets from Jacob's tumultuous relationship with Isaac's mother and the shame he carries from the dissolution of their family and tragedies that informed Jacob's role as a father and his reaction to Isaac's being gay. These letters take us on an exploration of a father's tumultuous and traumatic past that made him the man that he is today. Jacob leaves everything out on the table, hoping his son Isaac will find it in him to forgive him for his hurtful actions and words.

I was pulled into this book's exploration of a father struggling to accept his gay son, failing to be a better parental figure, and being too late to make amends. Despite the heavy subjects, the book was a surprisingly easy and quick read because of the casual writing style. It made me reflect on my years of parenting and how my upbringing affected my decisions, thus enabling me to see Jacob's story in a somewhat understanding way. Seeing how Jacob just struggled to survive shines a light on his life and roles of husband and father. I liked gaining insight into this man’s life, where I could experience his regrets and loneliness over the years. I think just about anyone can relate to this book on some level; we have all made mistakes and poor choices which we regret and desperately wish we could change. While I cringed many times at Jacob's behavior (especially his homophobic words and actions towards his son), I did want to forgive him as he tried to make peace with Isaac. While I do wish there was more "forgive me" and less "let me explain" I found this to be a powerful, heart-wrenching, and beautiful reading experience and I definitely recommend this book.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC digital copy. I have not been compensated for my opinion and this is an honest review.

Unfortunately, I was unable to finish reading this ARC digital copy before needing to switch to other books that were being archived. From the portion I read this book remains on my Goodreads "want to read" list. I will update my review to reflect an updated opinion when I finish it at a later date..

I am writing this review with tears in my eyes. This is a very good read. A father is dying and decides to write his gay son a letter. What a letter he writes. Things are said that never were spoken, actions that was never given was apologized for. Asking for forgiveness and providing acceptance is also present. I cannot say enough about this read. It will stay with me for a long time. Thanks to Netgalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book. Receiving the book in this manner had no bearing on this review.

This book is a wonderful read, however it was just not my cup of tea. It has wonderful prose and a wonderful message behind it I just don't that it hit the mark enough for me to truly enjoy it enough to say that I would love it or that I would want to read it again. I would however give it as a recommendation.

Don’t Cry For Me is letter from a father to his son. It is a love letter and it is an apology. It takes a hard look at black fatherhood and the way masculinity shifts through generations. It’s an incredible read representing a facet of the intersection between race and sexuality. I love how the book feels so true as if you’re reading a memoir rather than a novel and I would agree with the comparison to Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Highly recommend!

Have tissues nearby while reading Don’t Cry For Me. It’s a story of father on his deathbed who is trying to make amends with his estranged son. He does this by writing remorseful letters to his son(Isaac) for not accepting and being supportive of his son’s gay lifestyle. He writes of his shame, his lack of understanding, and his failures as a father.

This book is heart wrenching. It’s raw and powerful. It’s a story of love and forgiveness. I liked the letter format and would love to hear it on audio at some point. I could see this as a movie, too. One the would win all the awards. I highly recommend this book. It’s one that will stay with you for awhile and hold a place in your heart. It’s a must read book! Thank you NetGalley and Hanover Square Press for the ARC. This will be one of my top books of 2022.

A powerful, sad and deeply moving novel that is basically a series of letters from father to so. These are letters of explanation, love, and acceptance.

**I received an electronic ARC from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review of this book.

Poignant, lyrical novel. A letter from a black father to his gay son, attempting to explain his actions and to ask for forgiveness. So many scenes that are recounted brought on tears. A story of regret that any parent can relate to. Loved the music references, created a playlist based on them.

If Daniel Black's goal was to break as many hearts as he could, I'd say that goal was accomplished.

"Don't Cry For Me" is a story told in a series of letters from Jacob Swinton, a dying father, to his son, Isaac. Jacob recounts his life in these letters, starting from his childhood growing up as a black boy with his grandparents in Arkansas, his adulthood and marriage to his wife, to his journey to becoming a father - and the struggles in between. Despite what Jacob tried to force his son to become, Isaac grew up to be the complete opposite: a gay black man. As the timeline in his letters nears the present, Jacob lays out his too-late discoveries and regrets.

This novel is beautifully written and one that I found to be incredibly emotional. Even though the first half of the novel was quite frustrating, and at times infuriating, as we're presented in all the ways Jacob poorly treated his wife and his son, having background on his own upbringing helped to add a little more context to his actions. It was the final half of the book that I found to be the most heart-wrenching, however, as Jacob discovers the value in reading, a joy that previously was only shared between his wife and Isaac, and comes to see the error of his ways. It is through grief and loss and coming to terms with the truth of his own family's past that he's able to acknowledge his own life and his wishes for his son.

While this novel is a work of fiction, Black was heavily inspired by his own father, writing it with the words he wished came from his own father... and it clearly shows that this book was a work of love.

Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced reading copy in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

An aging, dying father writes letters to his estranged son in an attempt to explain his inability to ever connect with him.

Jacob is dying of cancer. He hasn't seen his son in more than a decade, but he has things he needs to say to him before he leaves this world. Jacob was raised by a grandfather who was a man's man. There was no crying. There was no back talk. There was no hugging or coddling. A man worked a full day and there was no need for much education. Men married women. Women stayed home and cooked and clean and had babies. That's how Jacob was raised and that's how he intended to raise his only son, Issac. But...

...Isaac was a lover of books and learning, not a kid who wanted to go out and throw a ball around or go fishing. Despite Isaac's mother having a more liberal mind, even she thought they should "fix" him when they realized he was not exactly into girls. Issac fears his father and his iron rule. Jacob and Isaac grow further apart as the years progress, and when Isaac returns for a visit from college, Jacob is proud of the strong man his son has become, but cannot express it, and almost fears it.

Through encouragement from friends and his (now) ex-wife, Jacob begins reading and his world is opened up. He is introduced to lives, worlds and ideas beyond the figurative blinders he has worn all his life. He realizes grievous errors he made in trying to raise Isaac the way his grandfather raised him - but how to make amends this late in life to a son who really wants nothing to do with him? Thus, the epistolary format. Through letters, he attempts to help Isaac realize how his childhood shaped the man he became, the father he failed to be, and finally, that near his end of days, he became a changed man who has more understanding of a son that he may not have much in common with, but whom he has always loved very much.

Though not an absolute requirement, it does help to read the author's note in which the author explains his reason for writing this book and the why the epistolary format. It makes the book all the more heartbreaking, yet hopeful.

Tricky to review this one. On the basis of writing, fantastic. The story, also fantastic. My personal feelings about this Dad and his letters to his son? Harsh. Jacob in his own way, on his deathbed, is trying to tell his gay son that he loves him, that he's sorry for the way he treated him his whole life. I don't get the sense that Jacob ever takes responsibility though. He blames his upbringing, his culture, and society. He chooses his own pride and comfort over his son repeatedly. Upon his death, he wants his son to say his dad was a good man and that he tried. But did he? Does he deserves to be given this credit? A thought provoking book that will stay with you for a long time.
Thank you NetGalley and Hanover Square Publishers for an advanced readers copy in exchange for an honest review!

This book was in equal parts one of the easiest things to read, and the most difficult.

The writing style flows beautifully, and the pages just fly by. I am a big fan of this kind of approach, written as letters addressed to someone, which focuses the story on the relationships of the characters without getting stuck in extraneous details.

On the other hand, the subject matter absolutely necessitated frequent breaks to absorb and reflect, and I think the author did a marvelous job breaking up the letters so the reader has that chance between chapters.

This is not a book you rush through and then promptly move on from. It sticks with you and commands attention.
It's a beautiful exploration of growth, regret, parenthood, and the things that separate us, or bring us together.

Thanks to NetGalley & the publisher for access to the eBook ARC.

absolutely enjoyed this read as part of my Black History month reads. A story. of forgiveness from a black man to his gay son as he is dying. The progression that he makes as his full life story unfolds for his son to read is absolutely beautiful. A heartfelt read for everyone

"Don't Cry for Me" is a letter from a dying, homophobic father to his gay son, and it just might change the way you think about love, family, and masculinity.

Daniel Black discloses in the intro he's writing the letter he wishes his father would have written to him, and he does an amazing job capturing the perspective of an abuser caught in a cycle of abuse that he doesn't know he should break from. Through these heartbreaking letters, Black also explores trauma, masculinity, race, and parenting.

I do wish we had heard from the son, perhaps as an epilogue, but overall I enjoyed this title and selected it as a Book Club pick.

Wow wow wow wow wow. I knew this book would be good but I didn't know it would stick with me for so long. This portrayal of a father who didn't know how to love his son in the way he needed to be loved when he needed it most is so poignant yet difficult. I struggled for a while with only having one point of view of this story but sometimes that's the best way to convey the depth of the damage you can do to yourself and others. Daniel Black did such a great job of showing how grappling with our own toxic traits, the denial we endure to feel safe in our decisions, and the lasting scars we can leave on the ones we love because of those choices can leave us in the opposite direction of where we were trying to go. This was my first foray into Black's work but it won't be my last.

Wow. This book is stunning and deserves to be put among the ranks of other classics. I hope is makes it's way to the top of the charts upon it's release.

Black paints a breathtaking portrait of a father, Jacob, on his deathbed coping with his upcoming death and the reality that he pushed his gay son, Issac, away. In the midst of wanting to give something back to his son he pens a series of letters that tell Jacob's life story. The letters serve as vignettes into Jacob's life and his life with his ex wife, Rachel, and with Jacob. In addition- Jacob recalls memories of going to Arkansas with Issac when Issac was a teen to visit their land. Jacob also recounts the story of his visit in his later years to the family land and learning more about his grandfather, Abraham, and mother, Sarah.

The story weaves together many historically significant moments in Black American history with a specific lens on how those events effected this one family. Additionally, it's not lost on the reader the careful allusion of names to the Biblical family. Though I cannot infer the author's intent here I did find it added a richness to the story especially as the stories do not line up exactly so the future is still unknown.

I sincerely hope this book receives the accolades and praise it so richly deserves because it is a masterpiece.

This was one book I couldn’t put down. I knew this book would give me allllll the feels.

And it did.

The really quick rundown: Jacob writes his gay son, letters while on his deathbed.

That’s it! Now, you’re probably wondering how does a book of letters make a good book. Simple! This story of retribution and forgiveness will make readers sympathize with Jacob. Generational trauma and expectations can tarnish the best of us, like the saying goes, hurt people hurt people.

In short, read the book.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC to read and review.

Jacob is dying and in his last months begins writing to his son asking for forgiveness and trying to excuse how he treated him. I didn't like this. If seen in this view, these letters are only for Jacob's benefit and not for Isaac who now has to shoulder this burden along with the original mistreatment. And while I know we should lead reviews with what we like, this felt like the best way to relay how I feel about the book. Because once I got past this added guilt trip from Jacob, I really enjoyed the story. Jacob tells his son of his own childhood, of his parents and grandparents, and even about Isaac growing up. I loved this part! I loved Jacob passing on their family history, the good and the bad. And the writing was beautiful. Jacob tells about his own growth and how he came to see his own misdeeds. All of that was wonderful and well written. I wish it just had not included asking anything of Isaac.

I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

The opening begins with flashbacks into a life of enslavement. It was difficult to read, but tells an important truth.

This is a story told in letters from a father to his son. A Black father in his 60s is dying of cancer and is writing to his son with whom he has no relationship since his son came out. The fathers letters are examining his past and analyzing the reasons why he was the kind of father that he was.
This is a beautiful and moving story about history and relationships.