This is a difficult book to give a star rating to, and a hard one for me to review.

First and foremost, I don't think this is quite the book that the title and synopsis suggest. While non-monogamy exists throughout the book, for me the book is at its core the story of an emotionally abusive relationship, not non-monogamy. This makes it a difficult book to read, particularly if you have been in a similarly unhealthy relationship dynamic in the past.

I did learn some interesting things about non-monogamous culture and felt there was a great deal of good research into these subjects throughout, and a lot of care to approach sexuality from a non-judgmental and open lens. The author's approach to storytelling was interesting and there is a real effort to let even the least positive characters retain their humanity.

In spite of all these aspects I admired in the writing, I can't say this is a book I personally recommend. However, it is one I will probably be thinking about for a good long while.

Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read an advanced digital copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.

Rachel Krantz's Open is a brutally honest self-interrogation of her foray into non-monogamy and a compelling account of the abusive relationship that introduced her to it. Krantz flexes her muscles as a journalist and blends data, research, and her own notes of that time in her life to bolster her narrative. I appreciated her willingness to unflinchingly expose her own vulnerabilities and also her acknowledgement of her privileges and biases as a cis white woman navigating non-monogamy in a heteronormative relationship. I was riveted from beginning to end and finished the book in just a couple of sittings, recognizing the challenges that I encountered myself stepping into non-monogamy (though not to the same extremes). For non-monogamous readers, they probably won't see this as the representation they were hoping for, but I still see this as a win for the community, whose stories are desperately needed to be told (even the difficult ones). For other readers, I'd caution that this is by no means a representation of healthy non-monogamy in practice. Regardless, Open will stimulate many interesting conversations about love, desire, and relationship dynamics.

I'm on the fence about this book but I did enjoy the writing style of the author and would like to try reading anything else she writes. It might be something you might enjoy. I still think it's definitely worth checking out because we all have different writing styles. Am glad I was able to have the chance to read it though. Happy reading!

An interesting and compelling look at getting what you need in your intimate relationships. It's fascinating that the same things that would be valued in so called normal relationships are the same things that are wanted and needed in people who crave different types of relationships. I learned a lot and that was not something that I expected.

This was a brilliant memoir that opened up my mind to non-monogamy and made me reconsider love. I will be reviewing this next week or for valentines day. Thank you.

Thank you to NetGalley and Rodale Inc for providing me with an ARC of Open by Rachel Krantz in exchange for my honest review.

The publisher’s blurb initially peaked my interest and I am a reader who enjoys memoirs, especially when they offer lives that are different from my own. I looked to this book with an open ( no pun intended)mind but I quickly found myself drawing opinions. Rachel’s story begins at age 27, same as my daughter, so immediately I was in mom mode. Unfortunately, Rachel’s partner Adam, raised many red flags for me.
I can admire Rachel for wanting to remove the stigma on non- monogamous relationships and for documenting her journey while providing academic research and learning, however this memoir was not for me. I found it self-serving and more voyeuristic than educational.

Open is a brutally honest memoir of one woman's journey into polyamory. Thanks to audio recordings and near-obsessive journaling, the author delivers a seemingly movie-like experience where the reader is in the room witnessing this relationship unfold. The fourth wall is often broken in a way that works so well for this work. Wether or not you're living (or interested in living) this lifestyle, this raw, heartbreaking, informative book will captivate you.

The unconventional polyamorous lifestyle has always invited a high level of curiosity, pre-conceived notions, and speculation. In some states and communities, a person involved in multiple relationships can be dismissed from their job for immoral conduct. Rachel Krantz explores the subject matter of non-monogamy in her intriguing confessional debut: “Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy” (2022). Rachel Krantz studied at NYU, as a multi-award-winning journalist/editor, her work has been featured on several popular programs and notable publications.

As Rachel was exiting a relationship with Dan, she quickly met another man. "Adam", a serious intellectual, was a graduate level educator, had authored two novels and articles on psychological studies. On their second date, he administered the Briggs-Meyer Personality Test that verified their compatibility as a couple. Rachel was very impressed with Adam’s meticulous Brooklyn apartment and how he lavished her with his undivided attention. When she lost the lease on her own apartment, he casually suggested that she move in. From the start, this wasn’t a relationship of equals, as Adam assumed a parental like role of mentor/teacher, introducing a new lifestyle of complete freedom and non-monogamy.

Attending and participating in sex clubs, swinger parties and gatherings including exclusive nudist resorts with like-minded couples and individuals was pretty exciting for Rachel. Eventually such events were compensated by a variety of sponsors as Rachel developed her writing/reporting skills and social following. Rachel interviewed psychological experts and therapists and reported the findings in her articles, and included informative interviews, research notes and studies, etc. following each chapter in the book-- adding credibility and value to her storyline. It was unclear how writing about her personal life with Adam may have affected the dynamics of their relationship as it was probed, analyzed, and subjected to a steady stream of comments by those following Rachel’s reportage.

It seemed like the most successful happiest non-monogamist couples had been married for years and kept their “play time” within the boundaries of social clubs/resorts. At times, Rachel felt jealous and insecure when Adam pursued other women. Overall, the couple’s numerous revolving outside relationships seemed superficial, lacking in a true emotional connection and/or staying power-- which wasn’t surprising.
“...And She Lived Openly Ever After” Is the title of the last chapter in the book, and as an Influencer, Rachel’s story continues and much of it remains to be seen. This memoir is a significant step in a literary direction and opportunity for her. **With thanks to Harmony Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

The upcoming memoir from Rachel Krantz, Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy is raw and sometimes raunchy. It’s also a tale about control and gaslighting in relationships. As the memoir opens, Krantz is a twenty-something writer who doesn’t think like a monogamous woman. Her journey into the world of alternate sexual options is eye-opening and vulnerable.

Krantz tells her story through several means. Sometimes she shares diary entries or transcripts of recorded conversations. Other times, she tells stories of events she experienced. Throughout it all, she intersperses research, both primary and secondary, into the mindset of various types of relationships.

Her perspective is that monogamy is a patriarchal construct, subtly designed to hold women down. Ironically, the first intentionally non-monogamous relationship she enters is with Adam, a man who is both controlling and patriarchal. She actually calls him “Daddy” on occasion and he calls her “my little girl.” Still, the most compelling part of her memoir is the meandering journey she takes while determining if he’s the right man for her.

She lives under Adam’s thumb for quite some time. At first, he seems caring and nurturing. But the more time she spends with him, the more she removes other friends from her life. At the same time, she struggles to live up to his “expectations.” The nature of an open, non-monogamous relationship complicates his antithetical need for control. Meanwhile, Krantz struggles with jealousy and feelings of inadequacy. Adam doesn’t do anything to make her feel more secure.

And as her research and writing work offers Krantz the opportunity to see other non-monogamous relationships in action, she realizes Adam regularly gaslights her. This concept is new to her, so she explains it in detail here, which is helpful.

My conclusions
Yes, this memoir has plenty of openly sexual writing, description, and dialogue. But it serves an important end beyond any sense of titillation. Polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships deserve a legitimate exploration. And Krantz shares both her personal experience and her subjective research. Together these aspects blend into a compulsively readable memoir.

I believe that Krantz genuinely desires a mentally and emotionally healthy life while also being non-monogamous. However, achieving that is considerably more complicated than she expected. This is the crux of what makes Open a complex memoir. Krantz draws us in early to her process. We watch her understand non-monogamy, explore a potentially long-term relationship, and mature into a fully functioning adult. Each piece of this experience needs the other to be completely realized.

I picked this up because of how polyamory figures in a few of my favorite fictional series. I also know two couples who’ve explored the boundaries of non-monogamy, with varying degrees of success. Krantz delivered what I hoped for: a realistic, nonfiction exposition of the lifestyle with advantages and disadvantages.

If you’re curious about the non-monogamous lifestyle, this is a valuable tool for understanding its ups and downs. Krantz is honest, self-effacing, and ultimately presents important explorations.

Acknowledgments
Many thanks to NetGalley, Rodale Inc. / Harmony, and the author for a digital advanced reader’s copy in exchange for this honest review. The anticipated publication date is January 25, 2022.

Taken as just a look into someone's life experience this is an excellent read. It's a very interesting look into an often taboo world. It's educational, dramatic, and very introspective. However, the more psychoanalytic areas are a little questionable. It feels like sometimes the author misses the point completely.

I tried but eventually put this down, Am I too old? Have I been married too long? I don't know whether either of those factored into my growing sense of annoyance with Krantz but I had had enough about half way through. There's a certain appeal to reading about this sort of thing and about the sexual experimentation of others. That said, I also found myself wondering how Krantz will feel about sharing all of this in the future. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. Wasn't for me but others might enjoy it or at least find it enlightening.

While I'm not non-monogamous, relationship structures of all sorts fascinate me, particularly untraditional ones. This memoir gave me plenty to think about in terms of how people can best function within a partnership.

I felt like I came in late and missed a beginning. The subject matter was fine, the way it was told was not something that sustained my interest.

I love memoirs but this one wasn’t for me. I dislike memoirs with long, novel-like word for word dialogue simply because it rings so false. Unless you are recording every conversation there is no way these chats happen exactly as they are written. These also fell into the trap that every “character” spoke in the same voice as the author which gave it a very fictional feel. She says that she wrote journals and took notes but surely not everyone she knows sounds exactly the same?

The writing style struck me as very childlike which was unfortunate because of the graphic sexual content.

It was just messy and not in the way intended. It read like some fan fiction or poorly edited novel. I think it could have been a good memoir topic if it was written by someone else.

This memoir forces readers to confront their conflicting desires about love and monogamy. Do you want a fairytale prince to come and whisk you away from everyone else? What do you intend on doing with him in your castle alone for the rest of your days? Why do so many people lie and cheat when they could just be honest about their desires with their partners?

Monogamous relationships (and the adultery that they make possible) have always been amply represented. Anna Karenina had to throw herself under a train for cheating. The Princesse de Cleves had to join a nunnery just for falling in love with a man who wasn't her husband. Even Zeus couldn't sleep around without the vengeful antics of his jealous wife. I think it's time we also began to tell stories about relationships in which non-monogamous feelings and behaviors are part of the relational form.

Krantz explores ethical non-monogamy in all of its complexity. Her story is not a fairy tale and she does dive into the dark sides of these types of relationships. They can produce romantic conflict that's confusing, exhilarating, devastating, but the point is that it is all part of a legitimate relationship structure. This is a beautiful, brave, and important book.

Rachel Krantz offers a no-holds-barred view into the life of an open relationship. She and her boyfriend have agreed to see others, they attend parties for this purpose, and participate in travels with like-minded people. This isn’t written for you to judge, it’s written to give a glimpse into a world most of us don't understand. I still don’t understand it myself, but I appreciate Rachel’s openness and honesty. At times I feel a bit sorry or lonely for her, but again, I think that’s me struggling to understand something that’s different.
The writing style is blunt and clear, the stories are interesting, and her ability to share this private side of her life is captivating.
Sincere thanks to Rodale Inc. Harmony for an ARC in exchange for my honest review. The publishing date is January 25, 2022.

I received an ARC of this memoir from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

An open relationship with an arrogant partner is detailed in this memoir. Mistakes were made, people were hurt.

3.5 Stars

As a biography and reality show lover, I thought I would be intrigued by this memoir of a young woman exploring the boundaries of a non-monogamous existence. As a voyeur, I was interested in the sections depicting her actual experiences, but tuned out (for the most part) the psycho-babble references that padded the end of each chapter. I also grew weary of the psycho-babble some of the parties would say to each other, discussing their non-monogamous lifestyles, rationalizing them. I do find reading about people with lifestyles very different from mine interesting, which is why I also enjoy reality TV. However, while at first I was riveted by some of Rachel's experiences with her live-in boyfriend Adam such as participating in swingers parties and nudist getaways, it ultimately turned me off and depressed me as the story crawled to an end. Different strokes for different folks, I say!

Thank you to the publisher Rodale, Inc. / Harmony for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

I very much appreciate Rachel opening herself up to her readers in such a raw and real way. I can’t say I necessarily “enjoyed” this book because it was hard to read at times. I’m glad I read it. I’m glad I got a very journalistic view of a polyam relationship/lifestyle. I can see how this book could be triggering for some people who have been in a relationship where they were gaslit and manipulated. Parts of this book felt like it was dragging along, and felt redundant. Overall, I recommend this book. Oh! The footnotes… I loved them. Full of interesting information, deeper dives into therapists’ responses and ideas, Spotify playlists for different moods!

I'm a little bit blushing and exhausted from this very honest memoir about non-monogamous, open relationships and defining love. Written in the voice of a journalist, with citations and sources, Rachel Krantz holds nothing back. A spiral of events and many connections, along with their consequences and life lessons, I appreciate this sexy, steamy, dramatic, at times violent, crude openness and examination of her love choices. Was an eye-opening peak into other types of relationships. Thank you NetGalley, the author and publisher for the early copy for review. All opinions are my own.