Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this book.
Lindsey Friedland has had a life that resembles a roller coaster ride - the one that throws you upside down into twists and turns you don't see coming. . A bout with breast cancer has left the 50+-year-old woman self-conscious and critical of her body. She’s also just a few years out of an abusive marriage to activist Nick, a relationship that was a carbon copy of her own parents' marriage.. She experiences heartbreaking and post traumatic flashbacks surrounding Nick. Then there is the menopause that throws her upside down, on top of everything else going on. She finds comfort in her journaling, with her friends and in her surroundings in the gorgeous Pacific Northwest., which she describes in the most beautiful detail, inviting us in to the canvas she paints for us. As pages turn, we learn about Lindsey's work life, and with that, enters her old flame, Newman and the roller coaster ride takes a steamy turn. Soon, Lindsey connects with Perrera, the Native American/Mexican editor of the local paper, who sees potential in her writing and shares her intense passion for ecological issues. The mutual attraction is stalled when Newman invites Lindsey to Guatemala, where the descriptions Sara Starney share with us are so vivid the colors she describe are clear in the mind's eye. Lindsey’s relationship with her friends as well as her complicated family dynamics feel very realistic. In so many facets of her, I could see parts of myself and women I know - all wrapped up in this one engaging character, Lindsey. I thoroughly enjoyed this book of self-knowledge and surviving in the face of adversity and pain, and how the gift of humor is so important to it all. It is easy to see why this book is a well deserved Award Winner!

Lindsey Friedland, former river-rafting guide and avid outdoorswoman, has hit the worst stretch of water she's ever faced: divorce from an abuser, breast cancer, menopause symptoms that her friends seem to have paddled serenely by. And she's lost sight of her dream of becoming an environmental journalist.

Lindsey needs to get her spark back.

Dear Diary, Disastrous blind dates so far: The walking cologne bottle. The “really want a gal to give me babies” guy. The pushy past-life reintegration facilitator.

Will Lindsey make it past the rocky shoals of family upheavals, job crises, sexism, and ageism... not to mention toxic love traps? Does “happily ever after” now mean settling for occasional (but hot!) sex with Mr. Maybe? Can she reclaim her journalism dream?

This was an inspiring story about Lindsey Friedland, a middle-aged woman navigating menopause, a budding new career, life after marriage to an abusive husband and the new realities of jumping back into the dating world. You don’t often find fiction novels from the middle-aged perspective – it was enlightening and refreshing to see life from a new point of view. My favorite plot line was Lindsey’s decision to leave her abusive husband and the struggles and redemption that evolved from her decision. I really disliked most of the new dating prospects, although her dealings with them, in my experience, were fairly close to reality. In the end, Lindsey came into her own and I was glad I finished the book – it had a satisfying ending.

I struggled to get into this book but I persevered and I’m so glad I did. Sara Stamey writes in such a way that you are drawn in slowly and then can’t stop reading.

Content warning: domestic violence, divorce, cancer, no HEA

Stamey bites off quite a mouthful with Pause, and the chewing is a bit rough. The reader is introduced to our MC, Lindsey, a 50-something breast cancer survivor coming off a divorce to an abusive git, trying to reconnect with her youthful vitality and sexuality. The book meanders its way clumsily between Lindsey's sex life, her introspection around how she replicated her parent's abusive relationship, environmental activism and community meetings, a horrific motorcycle accident, medical malpractice, a trip to central America, and hot flashes that might also be panic attacks.

Where to even begin here?

Lindsey is an unlikable protagonist, immoral and shallow, who seems to interact with other characters as a classic victim, denied her agency and wallowing in her own helplessness. She sees problems--her father is violently abusive to her mother, her ex husband abused her, a physician is actively harming the patients in his care--and does nothing, until she can center the drama on herself. For a woman in her 50s, she seems startlingly shallow and flighty, untethered by basic practicalities like maintaining her employment. This story isn't so much about a woman finding herself after divorce and cancer as it is about a woman, who never defined what she wanted, continuing to meander helplessly and wonder why life is the way it is. Set a goal, sister.

The book itself is choppy, with transitions that feel confusing as the reader. Why are we suddenly in a community meeting? Why are we now in central America? Why did Lindsey quit her job in the most unprofessional manner possible and then we just...lose the thread of that storyline until its dropped haphazardly into a chapter later in the book, like a turd floating in the pool?

Problematically, the details of Lindsey's job feel anachronistic and will age poorly. Medical transcriptionists who don't work from home? Paper charts? An ER doc who is also doing neurosurgery? The whole plot line surrounding her job, the motorcycle accident, and her accusations of malpractice against an MD was confusing and poorly done.

I went into this book hoping for a strong female character and a compelling love story and I got neither of those. I frankly hated Lindsey's victimized analysis of her childless state, whipping the liquified carcass of the regretful spinster, along with the endless hot flashes that seemed triggered by emotional distress, conjuring images of hysterical 19th century women and fainting couches.

This book just missed the mark for me.

very interesting book. There is not a lot of books out there where the main character is going through meno-pause looking for love. I felt bad for the main character because she goes through so many hard times but in the end she has perseverance.

A thought provoking story with realistic characters bringing hope and inspiration - it’s never too late to live the life you wanted but someone else decided you shouldn’t.

Growing up with a physically abusive dad, Lindsey tried to get her mother to leave him, but she always stayed insisting he was a ‘good provider’. Later on when Lindsey gets married to Nick, she learns that not all abuse is physical and that as much damage, if not more, can be done with words.

Finally divorced, Lindsey is trying to regain her self respect by getting her life back on track again. Step by step we follow her as she discovers friendship and perhaps love again, how she develops as a woman (hot flushes and all!) and how sometimes alone is better than lonely in a relationship.

When I read what the book was about, it was a book I wanted to read. Lindsey was like all of us, living her journey through life. But then so many things started to go wrong, and I felt like she was losing who she was. The book will take you on her journey her decisions, the things she does, and where she goes. Life is a journey and as I read about the drumming, the dancing, the spinning, it was like this is finding you. This is a book many people are going to relate to.
I received an ARC from Book View Cafe through NetGalley.