Often when I read memoirs of individuals with challenging relationships with their parents, I struggle to connect. My own relationship to my mother is akin to a less-caffeinated version of Gilmore Girls and my relationship with my father was just as strong.

That being said, this memoir was different. While I don't have any "real life" context to a lot of what Helen went through, it is very, very easy to empathize with her plight and marvel at how on earth she managed to come out on the other side the complete opposite of the woman who "raised" her.

I knew a bit about Munchausen by Proxy, purely from cases like that of DeeDee and Gypsy Blanchard and Lacey Spears, but that was where my knowledge stopped. As a mental disorder, I don't know that anyone can truly understand the why the disorder and that has to be beyond frustrating for someone living in the same situation as Helen. I applaud her for even trying to make any sense of it and wanting to understand why her mother was the way she was instead of washing her hands of it all and walking away. She is a far, far bigger person than I in that regard.

The frustrating thing for me as I read, was how little attention was put on the actual mental part of the disorder. Elinor went from doctor to doctor, but, other than one particular nurse, no red flags were discovered by any of them in regard to her mental state. Nor was this done by any carers or nurses in the assisted living facility or nursing home she spent a large majority of the latter of the book living in. Perhaps its because I am unfamiliar with the inner workings of the NHS seeing as I'm American, but one would think (and hope) that getting someone's mental health evaluated would be less of a rigamarole than was presented in the book.

Regardless, it was a very enlightening read and shone a light into the dark corners of a family situation that few find themselves in.

Although the writer clearly had a very hard life growing up and her mother was clearly ill, I still found it hard to empathise with the author. This is a serious problem which is ever increasing, and should be treated sympathetically but I found the author quite hard to relate to, and it was very clear that - rightly - they felt themselves to be a victim. But I just found it quite hard to feel sorry for her, so there was something not quite right in the style of writing I'm afraid. Still an interesting story and readers should definitely take the time to complete it.

This book was super interesting—I loved being able to hear about Munchausen’s from a personal point of view. This story was heart-breaking at times, but well written and easy to follow. The author was brave to write this story and I loved the diary entries. Overall, a great read and well-written by the author.

So enjoyed this one I also got the audiobook! This was a story that for some, might be familiar in some ways due to the media covering Munchausen's by proxy, but Helen's memoir here is about her mother who suffered munchausens of her own hand. Helen was not the one to be medically abused- but still, this book reminds you of a different kind of abuse. Abuse which later, as Helen is describing it, "well meaning" friends could almost dismiss her because her abuse wasnt so much physical- but neglectful, mental, etc. Through this book you're able to see the cause and effect of neglect, of a child growing up competing with their parents "disability" as if its a sibling or rival.

This was a chilling read, to hear the true story of what went on was heartbreaking. I have seen documentaries before but reading about it definitely made it more real.

Helen Naylor's memoir is a great example of truth being much stranger than fiction, I could not stop reading this account of her life, despite the title being a big clue to what is going on in Helen's home I was still totally gripped.

From a young child Helen cared for her parents as they were both disabled and much older than their years, spending her life making herself as small and quiet as possible to cause as little as disruption to their rest. As she grows older and starts to have a life of her own her mother becomes more and more demanding and unreasonable. While they had enjoyed a very close relationship when Helen was young their relationship becomes very strained. As Helen starts a family of her own she begins to see just how unbelievable her mothers behaviour has been all her life. With the support of friends and her husband Helen begins to try ad understand her childhood and the repurcussions on her life.

This was a page turning and emotional read, my heart broke for Helen as she was put in terrible situations only wanting to be a good daughter and mother while being manipulated and emotionally tormented. I have been thining about the memoir a lot since I finished it. As well as being an aborbing story it highlights the behaviour displayed by Munchausen sufferers in a way that trys to understand and recognise the behaviour in others. An excellent read.

Learning about Munchausen's has been an interest of mine for a while. I'm almost certain that I have a family member that has it. Reading this book was very interesting and enlighting. It was wonderful to hear the story of someone that had first hand experience.

3.5 stars

An interesting read. I learned a lot about Munchausen I did not know before. I still can’t get over how narcissistic this was mother was!

My only issue was that I found the narrative repetitive but this was likely a result of the mothers MO always being same. Also, I don’t believe the diary entries that were included added anything to the overall story.

Thank you to Netgalley and Thread Books for allowing me to review this arc.

The title of this book drew me in right away. I've read a few books about Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy but never about just Munchausen (and in this case, clearly a little Narcissistic Personality Disorder mixed in). Gosh, was this ever hard to read. Helen's mother was cruel, heartless and neglectful.

It was incredibly frustrating as Helen matured to watch her continue to be aware of what was happening but allowing her mother to get away with it. At many points I wanted to reach through the pages and shake her. With that said, it's obviously much easier to say that as an outsider looking in than to actually live it. It was her mother, it was the only type of mother she'd ever known.

It's fascinating to see that despite her own upbringing Helen was able to grow into a loving mother, fairly balanced person and incredibly self-aware.

I did find that the book kind of dragged on a little bit, it was very repetitive as Helen's mother's behaviour was pretty consistent. And I didn't love the tiny exerpts from her journal, they were too vague to really add anything to the story.

I've read stories and heard accounts of cases of Munchausen's by proxy, but this is one of of first stories I've read about Munchausen's.

In this book Helen gives accounts of her life growing up thinking she had two disabled parents, only to realise that her mother had been faking her symptoms for decades.

From a personal point of view I can't imagine what it was like for Helen growing up in such an environment where her thoughts and emotions had been so throughly twisted by her mother and her need for attention. I don't know if I could have kept contact with someone like that for as long as she did, but I'm sure one of the reasons she put up with her mother for so long was because of the traumatic emotional abuse she endured.

This was an emotional peek behind the curtain of what it's like for families living with severe illnesses and the impact it can have on the ones closest to them.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Thank you to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book.

This book is a memoir from Helen, who grew up with a parent who was an attention seeking narcissist. Helen goes into detail about her mother, and how she didn’t realise her mother’s tendencies until her later years when she has a family of her own.
The stories about her mother were really shocking, and I applaud Helen for sticking by her for as long as she did. My own relationship with my mother wasn’t brilliant so I do understand why she felt she had to stand by her, and try to continue helping her, simply because she’s her mother. You can’t explain that reasoning in words.
Helen’s writing flows really well, and the book genuinely left me flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe how little support Helen got from anyone, especially in her younger years when relatives turned a blind eye, but also when her mother was in care and Helen had to practically beg for help from doctors. I feel like she has been failed massively by people and care systems who should have backed her up. It was a complete page turner, and it really opens your eyes to know not everyone has such a wonderful relationship with their mothers, and not everyone has this great big supportive family. Some people have to raise themselves, and be completely independent away from anyone.

I also got from the writing that Helen is determined to be the opposite of her mother and really give her children the best life possible, filled with everything it should be. She comes across as an exceptional adult who has survived despite her mother, and that should be applauded. I would highly recommend this book.

This was a tough story to read. It is about a woman who grew up in what she believed to be a 2 disabled parent household only to find out her mom has been faking a major illness throughout her whole life. The author describes a lonely only childhood and she is pretty much left to her own devices most of the time. It is not until she grows up she realized this was far from normal and in fact she was neglected.

The Cleveland Clinic defines Munchausen's as a factitious disorder imposed on self), when someone tries to get attention and sympathy by falsifying, inducing, and/or exaggerating an illness. The author's mother is extremely self-absorbed by her imagined maladies, which she uses solely for attention and to dominate what tiny social circle she has. The author loses contact with her aunt because her mother perceives her to be a bully, mostly because she is not bamboozled by mom's baloney.

Overall, a distressing picture all around, especially as a work of nonfiction. Extremely well written, though it is not something I think I would read again.

‘My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me’ is written by a grown-up Helen. As a child, Helen had to endure growing up with a neurotic and hypochondriacal mother, who primarily suffered originally from ME but as time passed, became ever so more ‘inflicted’ with various conditions. Helen relays how she had to spend hours alone, whilst her mother took to her bed and her father spent afternoons in the pub.

At times, Helen is wistful of how she loved her mother and how, even as a child, she wished that she could have a normal upbringing. Although her father had severe heart problems and her mother was frequently laid up with ME, they did manage to have an extended holiday in Chicago visiting a cousin but again, much of the recount surrounded how her mother complained about feeling unwell a lot of the time. I was actually surprised to read that they had even attempted the trip, given the severity of their health problems.

And there after, there seems to be a series of discrepancies in the book. Helen tells how she loved her mother so much but didn’t often seem to be very kind to her. There appeared to be very little sympathy or empathy for a woman who had spent her life battling illnesses, whether imagined or otherwise. Her mother, Elinor, obviously had severe mental health issues and whilst, I totally understand first-hand, the detriment that this can have on children, particularly in the teenage years, I didn’t really understand why she took it so personal and felt so slighted by it. I could see how some of Elinor’s attention-seeking behaviour could be annoying but reading the book, I often felt more annoyed at Helen and her treatment of her mum. Elinor seemed to be having people talking about her with her daughter behind her back and ridiculing her ‘ridiculous’ behaviour but she didn’t seem to be getting a lot of help and understanding, until she was nearing the end of her life. Even when Helen received the phone call to say that her mother had passed away, although she hadn’t been to visit Elinor for over a year after she was placed in a nursing home, she was more aggrieved by the thought that she hadn’t been named as next of kin, than her mum dying after having starved herself to death.

Throughout the book, there were snippets printed from Elinor’s diary, that I can only guess were meant to justify Helen’s right to feel sorry for herself, however I felt the extracts were insipid and did little, if nothing, to support Helen’s claims because it was very obvious that Elinor didn’t feel she was doing anything wrong. At the end of the book, Helen goes into more depth of how, by reading her mother’s diaries, she gained information that her mother had physically abused her as a baby; at which, I wonder why these extracts weren’t used to gain the reader’s sympathies, which appears to be the point of the book.

Not having walked in Helen’s shoes, I cannot really fully understand the difficulties she faced having a mother who suffered from Munchhausen’s syndrome but I certainly can relate to having had a narcissistic mother myself, who was addicted to prescribed medication and therefore all challenges faced with that. The thing I found most helpful was to develop my own coping strategies, for how to handle her hour by hour, day by day, year by year and not exacerbate her moods and behaviours. For Helen, I think she was lacking this skill and therefore put the onus on her mother to change, which as people who suffer from or know people with mental health issues, will know that it’s just not as easy as that.

Wow...this book is quite a read. Based on her own true story, Helen Naylor writes about her mum suffering from Munchausen's and the impact it had on her life growing up. Such a complex situation, told in a very honest manner.......it is fascinating. A compelling read.

Extremely sad, well written story of a woman who suffered tremendous abuse by her narcissistic mother. With little help from her father, who actually had medical issues, she suffered with no means of escape. Moving story that details how mental abuse and neglect shaped this woman’s life. The bravery she had to write this novel is tremendous. Excellent and moving book.

Going into this book, I knew about Munchausen's [and MbP, though I know more about this], but in a much more technical way, clinical, from reading medical texts about it and the such. This book brings in the personal side of it and it is absolutely devastating. Helen suffers such neglect and abuse at the hands of her narcissistic mother [and an passive, largely absent father {who suffers from a real illness that also consumes the family and who in turn is often neglected by his wife because she is so wrapped up in being "sick" she cannot deal with him}, who, in my opinion is complicit in the abuse of Helen over the years] that it is a real wonder that she turned out as well as she did. She is really amazing and I think having such a normal relationship as she does with her husband Peter helped her, especially when they had children - being with him showed her what normal really was like and helped her really question all of the things her mother was inventing over and over. Narcissism is difficult enough, but when you add the Munchausen's [and Dr.'s willing to play into that], it becomes nearly impossible to be with that person. I admire Helen so much in that she stayed around her mother much longer than I would have been able to do, even when she confirms her mother is lying about what is going on. I admire that she stands up for her own children [so they don't see or hear their grandmother go off about all her "complaints"] and I REALLY admire her for walking away [even while working to try and get her the best care possible]. Walking away from toxic people is one of the hardest things you can ever do and the fact that she is able to and then to come to grips with her own life and the past and move forward is amazing. The last few chapters where she recounts her mother's diaries and what they reveal is some of the most heartbreaking things I have ever heard - I cannot even. Absolutely blew my mind.

This book hit really close to home for me - I grew up with an extremely narcissistic father [who I no longer have contact with] and that part of Helen and her mother's relationship was very familiar to me. I too was an "unwanted" child, who ruined his life and he never failed to remind me of that [especially after he had been drinking]. Reading how Helen's mother would treat her and the things she would say to her brought back unwanted memories and I cried right along with the author as she tried to navigate the waters of her teen years with a mother who cared little for her.
Unfortunately, as I was reading this, my relationship with my ex came into play and so many things that happened while I was married to him has made me question if he too had Munchausen's [he is absolutely a narcissistic sociopath, so what's one more thing right?] and a lot of things that happened in my marriage started making more sense to me and to be honest, just made me sad all over again. These are new revelations to me and I know I will need some time to processes them and figure out how to deal with all the emotions that reading this book brought forth. I know my heart hurts [for Helen, for myself and for all the people who's lives are affected by narcissism and Munchausen's as well as abuse and neglect] and I have cried buckets of tears - for all of us who have suffered at the hands of parents and caregivers and spouses. I can only hope that they too find the help and peace that Helen has and are able to move forward [and break the cycle]. I can only hope.

Thank you to NetGalley, Helen Naylor, and Thread books for providing this ARC and Audiobook ARC in exchange for an honest review.

**I was also given an audiobook ARC of this book, read by the author and it was really good. She does a good job at telling the story and there were moments where you can just hear the sadness and pain and frustration and all of the emotions that come with having a parent like that and it makes you just cry along with her. So well done!!

BLOG TOUR REVIEW

Review for 'My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me' by Helen Naylor.

Read and reviewed via NetGalley for Helen Naylor, Thread publishers, Bookouture publishers and Bookouture anonymous.

Publication date 25th November 2021.

This is the first book I have read by this author.

I was originally drawn to this book by its eye catching cover and intriguing synopsis and title. The synopsis stated that 'My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me is a heart-breaking, honest and brave account of a daughter unravelling the truth about her mother and herself. It’s a story of a stolen childhood, mental illness, and the redemptive power of breaking a complex and toxic bond'. I am a huge fan of autobiographies so am looking forward to seeing if this lives up to this statement. I must admit I was also biased due to the publisher being Thread. I have yet to read a book published by Thread or Bookouture that I haven't enjoyed. Hopefully this won't be the first... Watch this space! (Written before I started reading the book).

This novel consists of a prologue and 56 chapters. The chapters are short in length so possible to read 'just one more chapter' before bed...OK, I know yeah right, but still just in case!

This book is based in the Midlands, England, 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 , UK 🇬🇧. I always enjoy when books are set in the UK as I'm from Wales and have sometimes visited areas mentioned in the book. I have in fact visited and holidayed in the Midlands. This makes it easier to picture where the scenes are set at times.

This book is written in first person perspective and the main protagonist is Helen Naylor, the author. The benefits of books written in first person perspective are as long as they are well written it makes you feel that you are being spoken to by the protagonist and it can create more of a bond between yourselves and them. If there are several protagonists you also get to see more of what is going on. With this being an autobiography it is more personal than fiction.

'My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me' discusses some topics that may trigger some readers or may not be suitable for others. I like to point this out ahead of time in my reviews so you can judge if this book is for you or not. In this book Helen discusses/includes child abuse.

What an absolute roller coaster ride of emotions!!!!

This book is well written with descriptions that leave you feeling Helen's pain, devastation and confusion.

This book tells the heartbreaking story of Helen's life from childhood until early adulthood and what it was like living under the dark cloud and reign of her mother. It is a truly devastating true account of what a narcissistic person with Munchausen's syndrome will do and the lengths they will go through for the attention of others. You will read how Helen was left to fend for herself as a child and then how she was at her mother's beck and call as an adult being made to feel guilty if she didn't come running. You will get a real life and in depth insight into how Helen was left feeling confused, betrayed, angry and so much more. It is written in a way that makes you feel that Helen is telling you her life story over a cup of tea although at some points I did become confused with the change of time lines. It is filled with lies, family, deceit, betrayal, love, sadness, pain, regret, abuse, and so many more emotions. If you are going to pick this book up then clear your schedules as you won't be able to put it down. It will leave you absolutely shocked and disgusted while filling you with sadness.

It is set over/includes multiple time lines. When books show what has happened in the past and what is happening in the present I find it really helps the reader (if it is well done) understand why things are happening and what has lead to the present activities and decisions. It also shows the bigger picture.


If you read one biography this year make sure this is the one!!!


Overall a heartbreaking and stomach churning true account of a victim and survivor of Munchausen's syndrome.

Genres covered in this book include Autobiography and True Crime amongst others.


I would recommend this book to the fans of the above as well as fans of anyone who wants to get sucked into a true story.


340 pages.

This book is just £2.99 to purchase on kindle via Amazon which I think is an absolute bargain for this book!!!

Rated 5 /5 (I LOVED it ) on Goodreads, Instagram, Amazon UK and Amazon US and on over 30 Facebook pages plus my blog on Facebook.

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I was not very impressed with this, I’d give it probably a 2.5-3 star. I ended up having to skip around a bit. I was hoping there would be more information about Münchausens. The mother was definitely narcissistic, not really feeling a full on Münchausen label myself.

I was really interested in this book when I saw it advertised, I've read a bit about Munchausen's before and found it interesting, if shocking.
Unfortunately I found this book a struggle to get through and found the pace to be plodding, I think it was just a lot longer than it needed to be with a lot of things being emphasised in minute detail and there was a lot of "poor me" and "but she's my mum" from the author, maybe she just put up with a lot more than I would, but I feel there was an element of enjoying being the victim too.
It's also difficult to believe that her mother was such a master manipulator that no other adult intervened for such a long time.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for my eARC I return for my honest review.

It's difficult to know where to start with this one. It's obviously a personal account so it's hard to criticise - as who knows how you or anyone would react in the same situation?
Personally, I became a little frustrated with the repetitive nature of the story/narrative, the author's mother continued to act exactly the same throughout her life, as did the author which meant nothing really changed, so we just heard similar stories and reactions repeated.

The author's mother was obviously mentally ill and yet no one seemed to address that, one psychiatrist appointment was arranged and then moved on from, instead of addressing the issue of her mother's illness the author seemed to focus on how it was affecting her, which of course I understand but after the realisation she was actually really ill with a mental condition her outlook might have changed and stopped seeing it as so personal?

The author stopped seeing her mother and yet continued to obsess about her, I was starting to believe that there was hope as the author understood she was ill, but the obsession continued without any action to seemingly address it. So I found the whole read quite frustrating.
ESPECIALLY as after the mother had died the daughter called family members who all seemed to know what her problem was!? Why weren't these people contacted while the mother was still alive?

A very strange tale all in all, I'm not a fan of these 'misery memoirs' and don't really read them but was interested in this condition, however the book was only about how the daughter was reacting the mother's behaviour towards her, not really about the condition itself. Probably am wrong target market, but hope remaining family continue to heal.