Member Reviews
As a mother who has a child who is an alcoholic ,( a family history of alcoholism) and she once had an addiction to ice , I found this book familiar.. I would of enjoyed more of his sons story, than about himself.. I struggle with the practice of the 12 step program , but recognize it has helped many many people and is needed..All in all this book was good but also not mine to rate :) ( so i will give it a four ?? )
[4.5 stars]
I flew through this heart-breaking, yet ultimately hopeful memoir about the author's family’s intergenerational addiction problems, including his own, in 2 days. While the story opens with MaGee's oldest son accidentally overdosing on drugs, the book focuses more on the author's own story including his childhood trauma and family secrets. It's about what can happen when an addict doesn't deal with the underlying issue that's driving them to drink...and the freedom that comes when you finally do confront it. Overall, this one reminds me of Smacked by Eilene Zimmerman crossed with Inheritance by Dani Shapiro.
I'm reading this for a book event I'm running in my workplace. It's both moving and deeply sad. At times, I have to put it down.
A raw, unflinching memoir from a successful family man whose two sons both suffer drug overdoses, one of them fatal, the other nearly so, while his daughter suffers an eating disorder and his marriage falls apart.
The author, a business writer who has written multiple biographies of famous CEOs and big businesses, draws a clear, self-incriminating line between his own drinking and prescription drug abuse and his sons' drug use, as well as between his own bad behavior (he cheats on his wife) and his marriage ending. His wife is described as a near-saint, and he doesn't fault her at all for ending their marriage.
Magee spends a large part of this autobiography looking back on his childhood, in which he is consumed by hatred of his adoptive father, a closeted gay man who likes to take photographs of his male students, and his long-suffering mother, who pretends not to see that her husband is gay and endures endless emotional abuse from her adopted daughter/ Magee's sister. I found his relationship with and lack of feelings toward his adopted family painful to read about; he made me wonder if all adopted children feel this emotionally disconnected from their adoptive families. His sister, in particular, is described as nearly demonic; he shows her no compassion, and he is obviously still deeply resentful that his mother left her entire secretly amassed fortune to his sister. (I mean, who wouldn't be resentful, but it just seems sad he is never able to have any humane connection with his sister, not even when she turns out to have been the victim of sexual abuse in her adolescence.)
The author, while hard on his adoptive family, is also hard on himself, recalling his hypocrisy as he waved his wine glass around while lecturing his kids on substance abuse. As someone who has lost a child to addiction, I admired his ability to draw this connection clearly; I know firsthand how difficult and painful it is to do that, Magee is eventually able to reach a place of forgiveness toward both his adoptive family and his biological mother, who repeatedly rejects and disappoints him, and most importantly toward himself.
Magee also recounts meetings with his biological mother, father, and siblings. He meets some siblings over his biological mother's objections -- and finds an incredible coincidental connection with his adoptive father, whose family was already part of his life before he knew they were biologically related, a connection he discovers through DNA testing. He describes getting his under-age biological sister alcohol, which nearly caused her to be arrested, and how his interactions with his other biological siblings also involved alcohol. His adoptive family were tee-totalers, which he seems to resent.
I was a bit disappointed the book focused so much on Magee's early years. The title "Dear William" suggests the book is going to focus more on his son's overdose, but the events that nearly killed his middle child and did kill his firstborn take up a fairly small portion of the book. The rest of the book was engaging, but I didn't always understand the author's reactions or emotions. Still, this is an important contribution to the addiction memoir genre, and I would recommend it.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Dear William is a memoir about David Magee's life, though going in, I thought it would focus more on his son William's death from an overdose and his reaction. In reality, we get Magee's life story, which helps sets the stage for what happened to William and why. I was hoping this would be a marriage of Dopesick and The Glass Castle, but it wasn't as strong as either of those books.
While the author lost his son to addiction, the book mostly talks about the generational effects of the author’s own struggles with addiction and a troubled childhood. It is a cautionary tale of the generational effects of these issues.
Memoirs are tough to rate. After all, this is the author’s story to tell, and I wish him the best in his journey of recovery and healing. I won’t go into details, but while I appreciate the message, and have the utmost sympathy for his unimaginable loss, I wasn’t as taken with the writing style.
I thought this book was going to be similar to Beautiful Boy by David Sheff in which he chronicles his son’s addiction. However, more than writing about the pain and trauma of losing his child William to an overdose, the writer has painstakingly raked over the past and his own mistakes and flaws in unflinching detail, almost to make some kind of sense out of a tragedy. I was enraptured by his story and couldn’t put it down. The early dysfunction the author experienced growing up was worded with such honesty, I could feel myself nodding along, then shaking my head at parts, I really felt his story and found this book to be complex, intriguing and incredibly moving.
Let me do a…kind of disclaimer. I have met David Magee…he probably does not even remember it. We met at Ole Miss. My husband and David were in the same pledge class at Sigma Nu and I was a Sigma Nu Little Sister…back in the day….way back in the day. But, when I heard about this book, I knew I had to read it. Let me say, my 5 star rating has nothing to do with our previous interactions. This book is outstanding on so many levels!
David Magee has had his share of troubles growing up. He comes clean in this memoir about his mistakes, his own alcohol use, and his family dynamics. Life tends to throw us curve balls. How we react to these curve balls is what it is all about. It took David a while to come to terms with everything which occurred in his life. But, it has made him stronger and wiser. And this comes out strong in this memoir.
This is a book everyone should read. It will open eyes and possibly help others in this situation. This book is expressive and must have been cathartic to write. Nothing can ever ease the pain of losing a child and you can feel the author’s pain and guilt all through this memoir. But, you can also feel purpose. The purpose to help someone else through his loss.
What an outstanding man William was. He had such a bright future. But life turned on its axis. Hopefully this tragedy will help someone else in trouble. If you know anyone which needs help and guidance, please reach out: Magee Center at Ole Miss
Need a life changing story you will not soon forget…THIS IS IT! Grab your copy today.
I received this novel from the publisher for a honest review.
I read ALOT of this type of books, but rarely make me cry.
This book made me cry.
So honest and brutal and taking a raw look at addiction - this is not the "regular" movie look at the disease. It takes the "glamour" out of it completely and the reading was compelling.
I also like how they deal with the 12 steps program, again......raw and honest.
I loved this book.
I hate writing reviews of memoirs. This is someone’s life story, who am I to judge? Obvious from the title, this is a devastatingly heavy book. I thought this story would be about William but it’s actually mostly about the author, David, and his struggles with addiction and issues as an adopted child. He and his wife seem to have a very normal life, raising three kids in private schools. This book does a great job of highlighting that we never know what families are really struggling with behind closed doors. Addiction runs deep in this family and if you’re like me, you’ll be asking what more can this family take?? I didn’t feel a strong connection with David as the storyteller. I’m curious how this book would read from his wife Kent’s perspective. As a mom of to teens, I know I’m terrified of drugs and alcohol becoming an issue for my kids and their friends.
David Magee shares the story of his life and that of his family, and leaves no secrets hidden. .
Beginning with his adoption into a dysfunctional family, we journey with him through to his struggles with alcohol and drugs, unhealthy relationships, his career, marriage, divorce, children, the near loss of his younger son, the struggles of his daughter with an eating disorder and loss of his oldest son to drugs. His decades long search for his birth father reveals that we are, indeed, all connected. The story does evolve into one of faith and Hope and never giving up.
Magee did a fantastic job of expressing his ups and downs and was honest in telling the story in a way that the reader is right there with him. Through his words, we “know” each member of his family, and enter into their struggles and their journey of faith and healing, through loss that comes from addiction.
I feel this book is a “must read” for every student entering college as Freshmen and every parent of college students..perhaps even high school students, given the young age the drug and alcohol culture takes hold of our youth.
Thank you Netgalley for the copy of this book. Thank you to the author for sharing and to the publisher.
David Magee tells his life story, starting with his being adopted and growing up in a dysfunctional family, all the way through to his marriage, children and loss of his oldest son to drugs. He did a great job of conveying the loneliness he experience in his family growing up, I felt that deeply.
Thank you Netgalley for this copy!