I am not someone who reads a lot of non-fiction, but I am queer and learning how to fully embrace that. This book was beyond beautiful, while also being funny and comforting. I highly recommend for anyone - queer or not. Everyone has something to learn from Jill.

The idea of this book immediately intrigued me. The cover is fun and sapphic. It's a collection of essays about the intersection between sapphic identity and pop culture (or at least that's what it claimed to be). I thought it would be right up my alley. Unfortunately, my issues with this book ended up filling a very long document in my phone's notes app.

There were a few things I enjoyed. The essay on Orange Is the New Black was solid and interesting and just personal enough. If the whole book had been that caliber, I think I might have actually enjoyed it. Some of the musings on fame were interesting, and I definitely connected to a lot of the discussions of misogyny. I give credit where it's due to Jill Gutowitz for those parts of the book that I actually found interesting or valuable.

Now, my first issue with this book isn't a critique so much as an observation: the marketing indicates that I am the target audience. I am not. Unless you are a white cis femme lesbian who is obsessed with pop culture and has fairly poor media literacy skills, this book is not for you. I am only one and a half of those things, so a lot of it simply did not resonate with me. This is fine. Books don't have to resonate with everyone. Unfortunately, I also had a lot of actual issues with the writing and the content.

The writing was pretty poor and definitely not as funny as it was trying to be. The author also definitely thinks that she's much more famous than she is (I'd encountered her name maybe once before reading this book), and her overinflated sense of her own fame (which I'm sure this book deal added to) made her writing unpleasant to read at times.

The use of queer terminology was messy and confusing. The author used the terms "lesbian," "sapphic," and "queer woman" pretty much interchangeably throughout the book. This included referring to famously bisexual or pansexual celebrities like Janelle Monáe, Tessa Thompson, and Kristen Stewart as lesbians or "celesbians" as well as claiming that certain things were universal sapphic experiences when they were definitely specific to lesbians and should be discussed as such (I'm thinking specifically here about a discussion of lack of attraction to men, which is really important to discuss as a specifically lesbian experience).

The author seemed to know almost nothing about the history of sapphic media or sapphic pop culture for someone who wrote a whole book about these topics. She divides the entirety of sapphic media history into four eras. The first one includes everything from the dawn of time up till the 1980s. You're really telling me that you think it makes sense to put Sappho of Lesbos in the same category as Josephine Baker? (Not that the author mentioned either of those people.) She claimed that sapphic visibility in the media started in the 90s, which completely ignores the entirety of sapphic Old Hollywood, every culture where sapphic relationships have ever been normalized, and of course every sapphic book ever written. I'm not sure the author has ever read a novel. On top of that, the chronology of the sapphic media that she DID discuss was laid out in a messy and confusing way, and if I didn't already know of all of the films, shows, and artists she talked about, it would have been much worse. It is next to impossible to learn anything about sapphic media history from this book.

Maybe the most infuriating part of this book for me was the essay titled "One Day, You'll All Be Gay." In this essay, Gutowitz spends several pages discussing Perez Hilton and the harm he did to the queer community in the early 2000s with his agenda of outing celebrities. And then she uses all of this to talk about Taylor Swift and to argue that it's actually fine to speculate about Taylor Swift's sexuality and that this is in no way similar to what Perez Hilton did and also totally not taking attention away from all of the visibly sapphic musicians out there who deserve the attention that this author and her ilk give to Taylor Swift.

Other miscellaneous thoughts I wrote down while reading:
- Acknowledging that you're an obnoxious white person isn't actually helpful. Maybe you could just do better instead.
- So we're really going to ignore Harvey Milk when talking about out politicians? Yikes.
- Oh, so now we're equating womanhood with femininity and saying that it's uniformly bad to identify with masculinity or feel like a man? That's definitely not limiting or transphobic in any way! (sarcasm)
- Does she know that "Popular Song" by Ariana Grande and Mika is essentially a cover/remix of "Popular" from Wicked?
- She says that forbidden straight love doesn't exist as though interracial marriage wasn't illegal in this country for CENTURIES.
- The mommy stuff makes me deeply uncomfortable. I don't think that calling random women "mommy" without their consent is okay no matter who does it, actually!
- The 2020 Emma. is not a remake of anything. It is an adaptation of Jane Austen's 1816 novel. Please use the correct words for things. This is just foolish.

Overall, while there were individual passages and one full essay that I genuinely enjoyed, I found Girls Can Kiss Now to be confusing, reductionist, and generally unhelpful. I feel true sympathy and compassion for what the author had to endure as a queer person growing up in the early 2000s. I value and honor all of the harrowing personal experiences that she put into this book. I acknowledge that the book was a deeply personal labor of love. But I didn't like it. I wouldn't recommend it. I hope the author goes back to writing inane commentary about popular TV shows because she's probably better at that.

Content warnings: this book contains intense descriptions and discussions of rape and sexual violence, as well as multiple mentions of misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and toxic and abusive relationships. Oh, and there are some Harry Potter references as well.

This is a very funny and personal collection of essays. I found many of these essays to be relatable. She focuses, obviously, on queer culture and experiences and pop culture. She even discusses the pandemic and uncertainties of life. Taylor Swift is mentioned 100 times. lol

Thank you Simon & Schuster and NetGalley.

I have been following Jill on social media for years. She has such a funny and engaging personality that translates perfectly to this collection of essays. The essential gay millennial read! Highly recommend

This book was full of twists and turns and literally had me guessing until the end. Highly recommend. Amazon insightful and witty short stories on pop culture, queerness, and everything else. Absolutely loved this book. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Girls Can Kiss now is a series of essays that will take you through a gay history of the transition of social repression to more acceptance in current times. Her essays are thought provoking, yet funny and relatable. Jill Gutowitz is a pop culture aficionado, in these essays she highlights 2000s rom-com movies that conveyed homophobia and what these messages send to vulnerable unsure youth. “Gay people have been told, throughout time, whether that’s through micro messaging in film and tv or explicitly in our own lives by our own family members or workplace, that what we want is wrong. “
“That same- sex reaction is unnatural or a choice” Gutowitz’s stories had me nodding as if someone was telling a story about me growing up. This is a great book for anyone that wants to understand how coming out as lesbians feels or anyone in the LGBTQ community.

- This book is so millennial it kind of hurts
- Love some funny essays
- I feel like I am like. Five years too young to understand most of these references.
- Lesbians!

Three stars.

Girls Can Kiss Now presents a characterful perspective on being a millenial gay woman that'll be no picnic to forget, and concludes on a pretty cute note of Gutowitz fawning over her girlfriend after a caricature of pandemic-induced cabin fever that'll probably touch a chord with us all. and the audiobook narrated by the author is A+ - she makes pitch-perfect work of animating her words with all the careful nuance and comedic performance these chapters merit.

Orange is the new black, Eliza Dushku in Bring It On, Lindsay Lohan, Gaylor conspiracy theories, Cate Blanchett.

Jill Gutowitz takes millennial sapphics on a trip through their child and adulthoods, providing witty commentary on queer pop culture and an emotional journey analyzing how media influenced kids who grew up gay in the 90’s and 00’s.

Full of essays that made me genuinely laugh, this book also deep dives in to the queer milestones of the millennial generation. The outings by Perez Hilton, lesbian relationships being visible but considered a mental health symptom or for the male gaze, and the impact of growing up at both the beginning of the Internet and social media eras. Sometimes you read a book and think this was written for me. This book was written for us.

I have loved Jill on Twitter for so long and this book just lives up to her humorous but honest and pop culture focused view.

As someone who loves pop culture and especially essays from different POVs of my own I enjoyed this book so much. I loved how sensitive, honest, open, but still humorous Jill was in her essays about coming to terms with her sexuality through the lens of Hollywood. This book both feels insanely personal but also feels open and will resonate with so many people.

I could not recommend this book more if you love essays, pop culture, or just amazing books.

Thanks to Simon and Schuster and NetGalley for this ARC for my honest review

📚Book 10 of 2022: Girls Can Kiss Now by Jill Gutowitz

❤️Big thank you to @netgalley @atriabooks for the arc!!

💬Reader’s Digest Version: This book is a collection of essays about Gutowitz’s experiences as a millennial coming to terms with her sexuality and who she truly is beneath the need to be like the pop stars she sees on MTV.

🏃🏻‍♀️My Take: As a millennial..I felt Jill’s struggles on a spiritual level. The early 00s were a strange time to grow up..technology was just becoming accessible, people were becoming more open-minded but still treated lesbians as “freaks.” We were heading towards progress..but we were also nowhere close.

This is the first book I’ve read post-pandemic that accurately described the weird place I found myself in during the pandemic. I also lost myself in a wave of nostalgia..blink 182, early Britney Spears, my chemical romance, re runs of Latina Beach and The hills. I wanted to be back in a place before the very thought of a global pandemic could ever cross my brain.

If you’re a millennial..this book is for you. Honest, hilarious, and heartbreaking. I needed this book in 2022.

I did not finish this. It wasn't funny or insightful, and it had generalizations not based on anything.

A big thank you to Netgalley for granting me an advanced copy of "Girls Can Kiss Now" by Jill Gutowitz in exchange for an honest review!

This is such a fantastic collection of short essays, perfectly written for those of us who read the headlines off of PEOPLE magazine as our groceries are being scanned. If you are a fan of celebrity culture, pop culture, or queerness, then GIRLS CAN KISS NOW is the book for you!

yes this book was hilarious, and yes, a collection of essays on lesbianism is everything i could ask for. and yes, it was so fun. but honestly, it was so much deeper than that. though “pop culture” is not always valued as significant knowledge and such, i think gutowitz explained lesbian culture, and the nuances of it’s history, in such a way that wasn’t only fascinating and relatable, but also important? in such a new movement towards acceptance of queer people, there isn’t a lot of physical history of our existence over time. and so, jill gutowitz turns to the expression of our culture through entertainment, or, “celesbianism”.

reading this book is a teen reviewer, who was not even born for some of these moments in culture gutowitz referenced, was honestly such a harrowing experience. i am a queer teen, growing up in an era very different than the “aughts”, as referred to in this book. i didn’t grow up with these celebrities in the same way lesbians of the last generation did. though this considerably made my experience less relatable, the culture and movement described is so relevant to my own life. when jill dedicated an entire chapter to noting things, people, concepts as “lesbian canon” i laughed at the inside jokes included. when she talked about the freedom of at last being out and coming to terms with herself, i felt that so deep in me. the way jill gutowitz uses popular culture of the past several decades to root lesbian history and culture, i feel like i learned so much, so much heritage, and beginning. though i’m not necessarily the target age audience of this book, there was such a sense of understanding and fascination at the roots of who i am in my generation.

i definitely appreciated some essays more than others. some, like the lesbian canon chapter, were laugh out loud hilarious, while others pained me to read the memoir-esque struggles jill has faced. this was an excellent collection of essays explaining to me and the world where our notions of lesbianism is rooted, and i’m so glad i had the opportunity to read this.

thank you netgalley and atria books for the advance readers copy of this book.

This was so good! I definitely related to so much of this experience, as someone who grew up in the 90s and the “Aughts.” There were moments where I felt the 5ish year age gap, but a lot of it was painfully accurate. These essays blended comedy, pop culture, emotion, and experience in the perfect amounts to make this an equally funny and touching read.

I will admit that I struggled to get into this collection right away, and that there were several essays throughout that I fully skimmed, strictly because I’m almost 20 years older than the author, so her pop culture touchstones aren’t really the same as mine… and there’s a whole lot of pop culture in this book.

BUT I’m so happy I stuck with it because there’s also so much more to this book. I (unsurprisingly, as an old straight lady) connected the most with the essays that discuss the seemingly universal truths of growing up in a girl’s body, like laughing when you’re uncomfortable or scared, thinking mediocre men are worth contorting your personality to impress, that being identified as “the only funny woman” by some jackass dude is a triumph, that sexual “conquest” by men is just how things are and will always be — those essays killed me. “I Know This Now” and “Kill the Creator of Entourage in Your Head” were both painfully raw and moving (but also snarky and funny AF, which worked really well to balance out some of the heavy, heavy subject matter). I could see so much of myself in her stories, and I think a lot of other women will as well.

This book was okay, but I’m not the right audience. If you have followed my reviews for a while, you will know I love to throw in a least a few nonfiction books a year. When I saw this book, especially the title, I thought this would be a perfect nonfiction choice for me. I’m sorry to say that it just wasn’t the case. The author made a point that she is an Orange Is the New Black generation of lesbian, while I am a Buffy the Vampire Slayer lesbian. And while the decade between us might not seem like that long, in the case of this book it was. This was very celebrity focused and there were so many people that I either didn’t know much about, or I just didn’t really care to know. I wasn’t a fit for this book but I would recommend it for huge Taylor Swift fans, people that grew up watching all the Disney channel kids that exploded into fame, and/or for people who might be questioning their sexuality.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review. Pub date: March 8, 2022

Think of your friend who is the best at telling stories when you’re out to dinner or for drinks. This is that moment in book form. A hysterical colloquial read of the “celesbianism” of pop culture and well—just growing up at the same time computers, the internet, and the social media/ continuous scroll addiction came to be a part of everyday life.

I cannot express how hilarious and relatable this book is (the early pandemic obsession with the show Alone is def a mood—and the late chapter diatribe into an Alone-like isolation had me in stitches) but also has the reader pause, reflect, and reevaluate what’s important in life and accept that it’s ok to want something different from what you initially were striving for in life.

Okay so I requested this book from NetGalley because it sounded like I was literally the most specifically perfect demographic for it: white middle class lesbian grows up closeted and loves 2000s pop culture. Should I befriend the author? Why are we so in sync? We were born one year apart but had the same experiences and love the same mid aughts pop culture references. Not that being able to relate to the author or main character of a book is the best way to read a book - I love reading books where I’m completely unfamiliar with the experiences - but somehow I swear this book was written FOR ME! From being a Swiftie, to worshipping Lindsay Lohan, to dating men because heteronormativity felt cool once, to the Fall Out Boy references.. I’m sorry, but I could go on. This is a funny and silly exploration of lesbian canon, pop culture, and heteronormativity, with pops of seriousness here and there. I think this book would be super confusing if you didn’t understand the pop culture references, so this book may not be for everyone - but if you grew up in the 2000s watching mtv and blogging on tumblr, you just might get it. Thank you so much to @netgalley and @atriabooks for this e-arc!!
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[image description: the cover of Girls Can Kiss Now is in the centre of the photo with a background of pink clouds.]

I've been a fan of Jill Gutowitz's writing and tweets for years now, so I was extremely excited for GIRLS CAN KISS NOW, and it did not disappoint! Jill really is the voice of a sapphic generation. The way she combines "online" speak with deep analysis of pop culture and queer society is impressive and so interesting to read. This book felt a long conversation with a friend in the best way.