This is a helpful addition to the "quit lit" genre. However, very little of the content is actually directly about alcohol use. The author gives some great information about trauma, reparenting, and self-care that are related to alcohol use, but the author gives marginal attention to the substance of alcohol. Bottom line, a good self-help book but not exactly what the title implies.

Thank you net galley for the ARC in return for an honest review.
Wonderfully written. No judgement, just pure honest information to guide the reader in evaluating their alcohol consumption and reasons they drink. This may be an annual re-read for perspective and reflection. Touches on so much more than just alcohol.

Thank you @netgalley and @hachettego for the opportunity to read and review this e-ARC ❤️ Not Drinking Tonight will be published on Tuesday January 4, 2022.

This book is an approachable exploration of sobriety, especially for millennial women.

Author Amanda White is a self proclaimed party girl turned relatable therapist.

In her book, we (as the readers) learn White is sober, but the book isn’t focused on her own sobriety journey. Instead, we (again as the readers) feel more like one of White’s therapy patients. She guides us through reasons we may drink, how harmful alcohol is for your body and how mainstream alcohol consumption is in today’s society. For readers wanting to explore sobriety (aka sober curious), she lays out ways in which to take care of your emotional needs such as self care techniques (NOT just bath bombs and facials).

White was recently interviewed on @bethereinfivepodcast and I loved the interview so much that I wanted to read her book. Over the past two years, I’ve stopped drinking for stretches at a time and ALWAYS feel better when I do. I’m trying to be more mindful of when and why I’m drinking. I would say I fall into the sober curious category, but I’m not sure what that means for me long term.

I’m sharing all of these personal tidbits with you because I want y’all to know that White’s book isn’t just for people who have hit rock bottom. It’s helpful and approachable for anyone who wants to explore their core reasons for drinking and decide what that means for them in the big picture.

I highly recommend this book and am happy to answer any questions about it ❤️

I made the choice to stop drinking almost two years ago. I had been dancing with the idea for a while, but didn’t think it would be realistic. I was listening to a podcast about taking a break from alcohol when I heard “alcohol is poison” and something clicked. I became curious about how something so harmful became so normal.

Thus started my journey into sober life. I had already massively cut back my drinking from my college blackout days when I made this decision, so quitting was not physically a struggle for me. But I wondered how I would make it through social gatherings with this taboo lifestyle. How do you tell someone you’re not drinking because of how destructive alcohol is when they are sipping their drink right in front of you?



I have read a few books on this subject already, including Quit Like A Woman, Drink?, and Quitter. But I still haven’t really dealt with the pressure of explaining my “radical” decision. I made this choice right before lockdowns started and then I became pregnant and am still breastfeeding so I have had the excuse not to drink since. Hence, when I saw this book I was still interested in yet another perspective on living sober.



Not Drinking Tonight has a very unique format. Amanda E. White is a therapist and chose to create three different fictional female characters that she talks with as examples of how someone may be handling this lifestyle. I get that she can’t use actual transcripts of a therapy session, so I understand her reasoning for formatting it this way. But although she tried to make her examples as inclusive as possible, it is a hard feat to create a dialogue that anyone could relate to, and I found myself detached from these fake women knowing that they were made up conversations anyway.



In addition to mimicking therapy sessions, White’s main focus is to uncover the reasons behind why you drink. She goes through several therapy techniques to assist you with this, such a how to regulate your emotions, creating boundaries, and reparenting yourself. Since I have already acknowledged and worked through my personal issues that contributed to my drinking, I wasn’t able to connect to this either. I felt this book was more of a therapy book rather than a drinking book. For instance, when White was providing examples on how to set boundaries with people, she wasn’t tying back her examples to quitting drinking. I understand her argument that you have to fix yourself first, but I’m not sure how someone could achieve this on their own without the help of a professional. It would be a lot to tackle on your own.



There were things that I did really like about White’s perspective, like how she doesn’t think it is important to label yourself as an alcoholic. She states it is not about the frequency that you drink but about the impact alcohol has on your life. I like how she points out that the ability to easily quit drinking makes people think that they do not need to quit because of society’s definition of an alcoholic including the inability to stop drinking. She argues that you don’t need to hit rock bottom, you just need to decide if your life would be better without alcohol.



I also liked her chapter about shame. This was something I could still connect to. It made sense that even though I was embarrassed by the things I would do when I was drunk, I did not know how to handle that emotion and would drink again in order to help deal with the shame, creating a vicious cycle. I could see how if I read this book while I was still struggling with my drinking, it would probably be a huge wake up call.



The other important take away for me was when she encourages you not to lie when asked about not drinking. Rather than make excuse after excuse, it is much easier to be honest about not drinking. I also appreciated all of the Instagram pages, podcasts, and other books White provides in the back of the book and I definitely plan on using these resources.



There were things that I really liked about this book and other things I didn’t care for. I believe this book would only be perfect for a particular audience, but not every drinker. I think if you are someone who is willing to cut back on your drinking and you suspect you have some stress, shame, or trauma that you need to work through, this would at least be a good place to start evaluating yourself.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Books for an ARC of this book.