The life-after-walking-in-on-a-cheating-husband premise is not a favorite of mine, but I made an exception for If You Ask Me because I liked the idea of a woman taking that outrage and channeling it into her usually prim-and-proper advice column — and because I was promised a hot fireman. What can I say? I'm easy like that. The characters and humor drew me in right away, and I appreciate that Hubscher takes time to explore what the loss of her marriage actually means for the heroine in her day-to-day life and to discuss the pain and cultural shame so many face around issues of infertility. The plot stumbles around a bit (beautifully grounding "Then" chapters disappear midway through), and the romance blossoms a little too fast for believability, but if you can wave those issues aside, there are some truly hilarious and heartwarming moments to reward you. I certainly empathized with Violet's journey to admitting she's only human, learning to ask for help, and yes, realizing that she does deserved to be loved, hot mess and all.

My thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing Group for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

In this emotional read, advice columnist Violet has her life literally go up in smoke after she catches her husband of 12 years cheating on her. But what the fire does bring is steady and kind firefighter, Dez, and despite Violet's self-sabotage and doubts, might just be the one thing to bring her life back to where it could be.

Violet was a hot mess express, but who could blame her after everything that her husband, Sam, did. Their entire marriage, she's been pushed to the brink of perfection, with fear of verbal shame from both Sam and her absolutely horrible mother in law. There were so many times that my heart broke for Violet. Constantly juggling others' feelings, plus trying to people please had to get exhausting. I appreciated Violet's character arc. She went through tremendous growth. So many times, characters compromise their entire selves to find love, but Violet never had to do that. She stayed true to what mattered most to her, even when pushed past her breaking point. Violet did some pretty over the top things and her back and forth with Dez had me wanting to shake her. But I also know she was trying to sift through major emotional trauma and her self-destructive behaviors felt incredibly relatable.

Goodness, I loved Dez. He was the perfect balance that Violet needed in her life. Never pushing, he was incredibly caring and read Violet well. He knew exactly what she needed in the moment and helped push Violet out of her comfort zone. Dez quoting Towanda from Fried Green Tomatoes completely made the book for me. It was also interesting to see him through Violet's eyes, with the book only being a single POV. While his grief journey was at times more below the surface, because Violet's struggles were front and center for most of the book, his inner struggles brought a tear to my eye. The below quote resonated deeply with me and I appreciated having words to articulate many of the feelings I've had on my own grief journey.

"Grief is grief, and it's work to endure, and it sucks, and it makes home feel like a place you can't be anymore. So you run or you burn home to the ground because the alternative, feeling that pain and loss, living and swimming in it every moment, is just a big more than I think humans were designed to bear."

If You Ask Me is not a light romance. It's chalked full of deep themes and heavy emotions. I appreciated the author's note, which mentally prepares you for the journey you are about to embark on. I wish more authors would approach their books with such care and caution that Libby did.


A huge thanks to Berkley Romance for the advanced copy. If You Ask Me publishes March 8.

Thank you to Berkley and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

CW: infidelity, infertility, miscarriage anxiety, alcohol abuse, panic attack (on page), inappropriate touching (past incident)

I would recommend if you're looking for (SPOILERS)

-m/f friends to lovers
-a spark of a meet cute
-forehead kisses
-cinnamon roll/Labrador of a fireman

A mix of women's fiction with a great romance subplot I adored this book. Just like her debut, Libby Hubsher deals with some heavy topics with grace and wit and so much authenticity. I loved that Violet was an advice columnist, the plot device of using her column and some past flashbacks to push the plot forward was so well done.

Violet was so relatable, being this open door for others to rely on but struggling to not project her perfect self trying to make everything work even when it's no longer working for herself. Finding her husband in bed on the day of big professional news, setting his stuff on fire and meeting a hot firefighter who was just the sweetest most caring man alive. Listen, did this book tempt me to go set a fire and see who showed up, yes it did (Did I, no.). But I adored Dez. Checking in on Violet, loving her with all of her flaws, and all of those forehead kisses. Every accidental meet up, I loved every moment of these two on the page.

But this was ultimately Violet's story. Her journey was beautiful and so real, a journey not just of accepting love even with the risk it can hurt you but also of self love. Because we're all a little bit broken works in progress but being our authentic messy selves is okay too. The message about family was so beautiful and I truly appreciated how it ended (HEA I PROMISE) I cannot wait to see what Libby writes next.

Steam: 1

This was a sweet small-town romance with some good old fashioned revenge baked in. I love reading about a trash man who gets hoisted on his own petard! Right from the jump readers will be gunning for Violet to get all the goodness she deserves, and Libby Hubscher delivers.

Violet has a kind of picture perfect life: engaged to a looks-good-on-paper guy, living in a nice house, and on the cusp of having her advice column Dear Sweetie syndicated... when she walks in on her fiance having sex (in their bed!) with the cute tight-bodied neighbor that is Violet's inspiration for dragging her own butt to the gym. She throws him out (yay Violet), recognizes they've been going through the motions for some time... and her fiance really isn't that kind, but is a a little selfish and controlling (on top of the screwing around).

In an effort to purge the cheater from her life, she gathers his most treasured belongings and sets them on fire. A hottie firefighter who happens to live two streets over arrives on the scene and then Dez keeps turning up as she gets into various scrapes. As she works through her rage, grief, revenge, and acceptance, the genteel tone of her columns change, she starts to tell it like it is, and her blistering responses go viral.

There is a lot to love about this book, starting with it's not a traditional rom-com, because it brings in issues of infidelity, infertility and bullying with compassion and honesty. The American South adds a layer on to Violet's personality, the setting, and the plot. The situations are real, and by turns funny and gut-wrenching. I was cheering for her through the whole book, and not just for the potential relationship with Dez, but for herself, her career, her family and her healing. I love novels that incorporate other elements into the narrative, and Sweetie's advice columns and texts with Dez help flesh out the story.

I received an advance reader's review copy of #If YouAskMe from #NetGalley

Ooh yes I loved this one. This captured my attention straight from the off and I just could not put it down. Humour and heartbreak. Love the advice column, its honest, raw and surprising at times. A great angle. Violet is so relatable and I felt like I knew her. How could anyone not fall in love with Dez? He turns up at exactly the right moment every time and is so patient with a crumbling Violet. Brilliant read.

Thank you @berkleypub and @netgalley for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own! Out March 8!

Violet Covington writes for DEAR SWEETIE, the biggest advice column in North Carolina. When she finds out that her husband, Sam, has been cheating on her, she loses it! She brings out her bad feelings and vicious honesty in her column. Then she meets Dez, a firefighter who shows up to put out the fire that Violet starts in the front yard (of Sam's things). Dez and Violet hit it off and have a little fling, but Sam is begging Violet for a second chance.

This was a heartwarming read, with a MC who deals with some pretty tough issues. So as I was expecting this to be a nice, light romance, it ended up being heavier than expected! But the author does give you the trigger warnings at the beginning, which are infidelity, infertility, miscarriage, anxiety, and alcohol abuse. This was my first by this author and overall, I enjoyed it and thought it was well written. I would definitely check out her future books!

This book just wrecked me, left me yearning for croissants and crying in bed. And bravo for that, Libby. (For reference, I'm not a crier when it comes to books)

It was beautifully written with a wonderful cast of characters. I loved the Dear Sweetie letters interspersed, as they really helped us get to know Violet (and were usually HILARIOUS). This book also touches on difficult topics like infidelity and infertility, but it does so with such care throughout. Also Dez is the absolute SWEETEST. Like who can argue with a sexy and sensitive firefighter?

I also just LOVED the Act III conflict. Y'all know how much I hate the miscommunication trope and Libby totally subverts it. Overall just a amazing book that will punch you in the feels and leave you thanking her for it.

*Thank you to Berkley Publishing Group and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review*

Four and a half Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭒
If You Ask Me by Libby Hubscher is a romantic comedy with an emotional punch. This is not your typical light romcom, but a fun story that also deals with bullying, gaslighting, and mental health issues.

Violet Covington writes an advice column for the local Raleigh newspaper under the pen name Dear Sweetie. She writes good solid advice and her column is popular in South Carolina. When she comes home from work early and finds her husband in bed with the neighbor, she goes off the rails a bit. When she burns her husband’s things in the road in front of her house a handsome firefighter, Dex, shows up to put the fire out.

The betrayal of her husband puts Violet on a revenge path and her column becomes more bitter and direct than her previous polite advice. Because of this, the column goes viral, and everybody in the country starts reading her blunt advice. But eventually, everything spirals out of control and Violet finds herself almost out of a job, alone, and bitter, and she doesn’t like it.

This book is quite the roller coaster of emotions. At first, I thought it was a cute, and predictable romcom, and then it got a bit crazy, and I didn’t like Violet and the choices she was making. But, then Violet realized she was being self-destructive and her path to redemption made this book a very enjoyable and emotional story for me. We had to see her at her worst, in order to appreciate her journey, and I loved how she grew and changed throughout the book.

I highly recommend this book to lovers of romance and women’s fiction. I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

I loved this book! True to life how things go. I could relate to the main character, even though I am happily married.

Violet made some bad decisions following her husband’s betrayal. As her career and relationships suffered, would Violet be able to get her life back on track?

Hubscher gutted me with her previous book, Meet Me in Paradise. This book was a bit gentler with my heart, but still quite emotional. The blend of humor, warmth, and deep emotion was a winning combination for me, and I throughly enjoyed accompanying Violet on her road to a new future.

Her husband’s cheating set off a chain of events in Violet’s life. She lost her filter and the truth-bombs she dropped led to some unfortunate fallout. Violet had to work hard to right some wrongs, but along the way, she also began to see her life with great clarity. She may have hit close to rock bottom, but her struggles resulted in self-acceptance and determination to live her life on her own terms. This was the part of the story that impacted me most. I am sure I am not alone in feeling as though I have to edit myself to fit in the box others assigned to me. To feel like being true to who I am is not “enough”. That part of Violet’s journey resonated with me and made it easy for me to cheer on every positive step forward.

Though I sometimes was frustrated with decisions Violet made, in the end, I understood she had to experience those things. All the ups and downs were necessary for her to heal and to clearly see herself, her wants, her needs. One of the best things to come out of this chaos was Dez.

Dez was no stranger to pain and loss, and he saw something in Violet that made him want to offer his support. When his support took a turn towards the romantic, I was giddy. As I age, I have appreciated these soft, unicorn men more and more. Dez was thoughtful and sweet. The product of many sisters, he saw no shame in being open, honest, and wearing his heart on his sleeve. He was simply wonderful!

There was no ugly crying, as with Hubscher’s last book, but there were tears, happy and sad. It was scary to see so much of myself in Violet, but it was also encouraging watching her come out on top. Beautiful, heartwarming, and uplifting, I absolutely loved this book!

This book was fun, though maybe a little longer than it needed to be in some parts, but overall, it was a great read that I had a hard time putting down. After finding her husband in bed with the neighbor, Violet, an advice columnist for the local newspaper, deals with the fallout while simultaneously retuning her career. It was refreshing to have a main character fall apart and not necessarily "live happily ever after." Readers will enjoy Violet's journey from heartbreak to happiness and all the bumps in between.

If You Ask Me is an enjoyable rom com. I would highly recommend it to a reader who is based in the Triangle area of North Carolina (Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Durham), or someone who is interested in southern lit. I really appreciated the author's note including content warnings. The infidelity ended up being a trigger for me, but I would confidently hand sell this title to the right reader. Can't wait to read what Libby has next for us!

If You Ask Me is a beautifully written, deeply felt novel from the author of Meet Me in Paradise. (Also highly recommended.) I laughed, I cried, and I felt all fizzy, like a shaken up can of Cheerwine. The story follows Violet, whose picture-perfect life is shattered when she discovers her husband cheating. An advice columnist desperately in need of advice herself, Violet begins to spiral, and in so doing, sees her marriage and her career from new angles. Who is she really? Who does she want to be? What social and familial messages has she internalized, and how have they affected her choices, her sense of possibility? The questions she asks will resonate with readers, and the hard-won conclusions (in-progress) will satisfy and uplift. Violet's messy journey of self-discovery involves risk and heartache, and also wonder, inspiration, and joy. If You Ask Me has a warm and rewarding romance plot. As Violet comes into a new understanding of her world, and her place in it, she opens up to the possibility of love with Dez, a sweet and sexy firefighter. This relationship is crucial to Violet's growth, but it's part of a larger social tapestry. All of Violet's relationships change in reparative ways across the course of the novel. Hubscher handles heavy themes and sensitive issues with gentleness and generosity, and humor as well. It's a delight to encounter letters from Violet's advice column in the novel, and a sign of Hubscher's fresh and exciting story-telling techniques. This is a must read for lovers of romance, women's fiction, and great books generally.

If You Ask Me was such a good romance and I loved every minute of it. I think what I enjoyed most was how relatable Violet is. She just seems like someone that people could connect with and I loved that. From the cover you really think that this book is going to be cute and fluffy but it was really a lot more then that. The writing was good and the romance kept my attention. Even though it was easy to anticipate the end, I still couldn’t wait to see it play out.

Meet Me in Paradise was one of my favorite books of last year and I was expecting to love this as well. This book has Katherine Center vibes to me! It started off so strongly and I thought it would be a 5 star read but unfortunately, I ended up only liking it. The main character ended up being so unlikable to me and made so many poor decisions - it was very tough to root for her. This is marketed as a rom com but was much heavier and felt more like women's fiction.

Violet is an advice columnist who writes anonymously as Dear Sweetie. All of her replies and advice are polite and sweet. That is until she finds her husband, Sam, is cheating on her. Angry and unsure what to do with all her rage, Violet loses her filter in her advice column, and ends up going viral and becoming more popular. Burning some of Sam’s favorite possessions, in her front yard, a really hot firefighter, Dez, helps put out the flames. People are starting to notice Violet’s new behavior but she keeps denying that things are wrong.

Dez likes the new, unpolished Violet, while her boss has issues with her new attitude. Dez is the hunky guy who seems to go with the flow, gives Violet no pressure, enjoys her company, and finds her incredibly attractive. But, Sam has decided that maybe he was wrong after all and is looking for another chance. Violet is now left to decide what she really wants out of her life and career.

I really enjoyed this book and traveled along in Violet’s emotional upheaval. Her columns were realistic and often hilarious, especially when she is less tactful in her advice.

Thank you to Netgalley and Berkley Publishing Group for the opportunity to read and review the book.

Libby's first book was such an emotional read for me that I was expecting a similar feeling with this one. While less emotional than MEET ME IN PARADISE, I really loved the way she took the "ask abby" trope and made it feel modern. I also loved that her protagonist seemed older than most contemporary romances I read. Great representation of fertility issues. There is also a hot fireman so... that's always a good thing

Based on the description, the ascribed genre, and the cover art, I was expecting a romantic comedy. What I got was a lot heavier than that. While romance was an important aspect of the plot, it wasn't the main point; that's totally fine, but only when I'm not expecting romance to be the central feature of the novel.

I have read Libby Hubscher before, and I will say that her writing is incredible. You know just what she's trying to evoke, and she does it very well. She does a great job blending moments of levity with moments of heavy emotions, and knowing that this is her style and now being more familiar with the kind of stories she writes, I don't think I'll get thrown off by a book description again.

While the book wasn't what I was expecting, I can't fault the author. It was a well-written novel, but it just wasn't marketed correctly.

Thank you to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Meet Me In Paradise was one of my favorite books of 2021 and I'm pretty sure I squealed with delight when I was approved for If You Ask Me. I had really high hopes for this one, and let me just tell, it met them and beyond.

I completely adored Violet and loved watching her go from living the way she's always known to say to hell with it, and doing what she wanted. I loved watching the entire story unfold. Very similar to Meet Me in Paradise, this is much more than a love story. She tackles some pretty tough issues including infertility and infant loss, mental health, alcoholism, and more.

Libby Hubscher has quickly risen to the top of my auto-buy author list. If You Ask Me will warm your heart and soul.

Thank you to Berkley Publishing and Netgalley for the digital ARC in exchange for my honest review.

4.5/5 stars