I love that the authors of this book focus on the positive aspects of marriage, helping readers overcome the hurdles of too much togetherness. It’s like they can read my mind! I don’t think Spouse in the House limits its relevance to those who are experiencing retirement with a spouse. It contains meaningful advice and wisdom for any married couple living under the same roof.

Whether you and your spouse are home due to retirement, work from home or dealing with a chronic illness or as caregiver this book by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby will be invaluable.
Even if for the most part you don’t have any conflict—there will probably be a few bumps along the road. With personal examples and anecdotes from others (including their husbands) the chapters are brimming with “been through those trenches” advice and encouragement and it’s judgment free. Few areas are untouched regarding our relationship with the person who shares our space. The chapters encourage (and show by example) how to navigate and perhaps change our attitude and through all it shower grace on each other.
I have multiple sticky notes and many passages underlined. I also shed a few tears. I will come back to this book again.

I have really loved Spouse in the House. It really examines the realities of sharing space with your spouse when they are suddenly home all of the time and so are you. With COVID, retirement, or whatever the reason, the sudden change in logistics can shake even the strongest couple. After all, you each got used to your routines apart and though you love each other, it is possible to get on each other's nerves with such close proximity.
This book has made me laugh and has made me think. I am the one who is home more due to our particular circumstances, when he is the one who has been home with his own routines. I haven't seen a lot of warning signs, but this book has been helpful anyway. It has given me much to think about, especially when it comes to perspective and considering your spouse's perspective when it comes to the changes that can happen when you are in the same space.
Even more than the proximity thing, this book brings practical advice even when you aren't constantly breathing the same air. It is advice that is good for newlyweds and for couples that have spent decades together. You can always learn something new.
I would absolutely recommend this book to those that might feel that their spouse is too close for comfort, or someone that just feels a perspective change is just what you need. Who am I kidding? I would recommend this to every couple with its sage advice and witty humor.
I received an early copy through NetGalley and through Kregel and this is my own, honest opinion and I am not always a fan of self-help books.

Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby team up to share positive and constructive strategies for those finding themselves in the HHATT club (that acronym is He’s Home All The Time). And while this book was initially intended to address what happens when a spouse retires and both halves of a couple find themselves in each other’s space more often, the timing of Spouse in the House is providential as people have moved from the office to remote work as the world continues to stare down a global pandemic.

These two authors tag team in each chapter with wisdom, vulnerability, constructive solutions, and moments of humor. Their husbands also get to share some of their thoughts sometimes, too. There is so much information in this book, making one or two of the adjustments in the book is sure to strengthen your relationship when the extra strain of sharing space more frequently.

While I am not at all the demographic for this book (I’m happily single, never been married), there were some takeaways for me in this book when it comes to relationships. Whether it’s a spouse, a roommate, children who have moved back in, or another situation where you’re sharing space with someone a large amount of the time, Spouse in the House challenges readers to lean into love instead of grudges, bitterness, or scorekeeping.

Disclosure statement: I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions are my own.

Ruchti and Melby tackle the issues and attitudes that show up when home space is shared continuously. The practical and humorous approach these ladies take for tackling the issue of shared space is joyful, even when dealing with not so joyful things. Their own experiences play well into their knowledge and ideas. They also ask others who are experienced in being home all the time to share their insights, funnies, and tips.

Humor is key to the issue of being home all the time, as many know from the past 18 months. The titles of the chapters highlight the necessary humor – “The Line Down the Middle”, “Love Keeps No Record of Who Cleaned the Toilet Last”, “The Sins Febreze Can’t Quite Cover,” and “It’s Still M Rib, Adam. It’s Still My Rib Cage, Eve.” There are 20 humor filled chapters in the book, along with some helpful resources that may or may not apply to you (including resources for when your marriage is not a safe place to be). Ruchti and Melby take turns writing in each chapter, both addressing the topic at hand from their own experience, marriage, and viewpoint. These ladies play off each other and boost each other’s knowledge, providing a great frame work for growth in marriage.

I found the book to be quite helpful, even though our family doesn’t fit the HHATT (He’s Home All The Time) model. Marriage tips for every marriage come through loud and strong, because good, solid, biblical attitudes are necessary for every stage of marriage. My husband does have an unusual schedule and we home educate our three children. In addition to that, the girls are quite active in dance and that means we have unusual schedules all around. The tips from Spouse In The House really are helpful for creating a home environment where everyone wants to be, where everyone feels respected and included, and where we can work, play, and just chill. Most off all, though, it makes home a place where we all want to come back to at the end of each day. And isn’t that what family is about?

While Ruchti and Melby did write a book that is biblical in character, it isn’t a “pound you over the head with Godly attitude” book. It incorporates love and Godly attitudes into the simple, loving, and daily interactions between a husband and a wife. I found it a helpful marriage book in this regard.

I really enjoyed reading this book. I liked how the authors wrote it in a conversational style so you felt like you were having a discussion with friends. I liked that they used humor and person stories to give examples of the tips they were sharing. I also loved how their tips and suggestions don’t have to just apply to a spouse being home. I’m not married but I do live with my brother so some of their tips can help me in my interactions with my brother. I really like the things they shared and would recommend this to anyone who might need help with having someone home all the time.

I received a complimentary book from publishers, publicists, and or authors.  A review was not required and all opinions and ideas expressed are my own.

The concept for Spouse in the House started long before a pandemic forced many families to be home together. While the authors are specifically speaking to couples who are entering their retirement years, many of the concepts outlined in this book can be used during any transition where people are new to living together. The concepts could be implemented for college roommates, a newly married couple, a family in the middle of a pandemic, layoff, or, yes, even a pandemic.

It's not always-okay, it rarely is-a smooth transition when two bodies share the same air.

Cynthia and Becky take turns sharing personal stories and challenges that they have encountered with their marriages, and from their friends. There are quite a few adjustments in a family when a spouse enters retirement (or a lay-off) as the family adjusts to a new schedule and the shake-up of all the routines. I know when my family was quarantined at the beginning of the pandemic, even though we homeschooled, it was very difficult for me and the kids, as well as my husband when he was forced to work at home.

The biggest conflict was in my head, in my idea that our home was my domain and my time should be my own.

I enjoyed the story Cynthia tells at the beginning of the book about how this book come to fruition. While this concept was started long before the pandemic, it is timely, not only for those who are entering retirement but for those who are starting to share a space, working at home (or school) with others. With humor and grace, Cynthia and Becky have weaved a wonderful book together that will never lose its relevancy.

Couples go to premarital counseling before saying 'I do.' Why doesn't somebody create preretirement counseling so we're ready to say, 'I still do. All. The. Time?'

While I would recommend this book to anyone who is adjusting to a spouse in the house, I would say it also has great information for married couples on how to treat each other in general. I highlighted and circled quite a bit of nuggets of wisdom that I can use now (hubby is back at work full-time!) and stuff that will be more applicable at the time that he retires.

The Chapter One title of Spouse in the House sets the tone for the book: "Honey, I'm Home ... All. The. Time." This book provides tips to deal with 'significant togetherness' or spending way more time with your spouse than you were previously accustomed to, due to being newly retired or working from home.

During the early days of the pandemic, my husband (because of high-risk) stayed home from work for a month. I enjoyed this time with him and we accomplished so much at home that we normally struggled to find time for. We adjusted easily, and relished the added hours together. The true adjustment for me was when he returned to work. I'd grown used to having him home all the time. No doubt, everyone is different though, and this disruption in alone time or personal space and activities can be difficult for some. Though my adjustment in time alone came easy, I am still able to empathize with those who struggle through some of the scenarios referred to in this book.

This book contains wonderful, Spiritually-supported tips on overcoming the he's-home-all-the-time challenges, finding peace, and building hope. Not only with our spouse, but in all our close relationships.

Overall, this book emphasizes the importance of respect, appreciation, communication, and (most importantly) grace in a marriage. Especially in an abundance of togetherness a couple may not be accustomed to.


Dɪsᴄʟᴏsᴜʀᴇ: I ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ. Mʏ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴғʟᴜᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ.

Spouse in the House is what I wish I’d had before our retirement reality. We romanticized retirement, then reality struck. Like a grand piano in the middle of the kitchen, it was a beautiful thing, but not taking up all that space all the time. When all that closeness exploded we agreed to apply part of I Corinthians 13 (love keeps no record of wrong) by saying let’s just forget that ever happened. We’d often wish we’d had other survival tools for that special time in our lives.

Whether contemplating retirement, wondering what were we thinking, or know someone who is struggling with too much together time, this lighthearted easy to read material will help prepare and resolve those needs.

There is also a valuable resource guide for those dealing with complicated situations.

I received a copy of the book from the publishers. This review is my own unsolicited impression.

I have to say I appreciate Authors Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby's writing even more after reading this book as it gave great advice coming from wisdom gleaned on their own journeys and I always enjoy being able to learn from other women of faith who have a Christ-centered attitude and outlook on life.

I absolutely love how they used scripture throughout the book and gave practical and useful advice (with a side of humor)

I definitely would recommend "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Out Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other."
to both ladies young and not so young as it has advice that is helpful for marriage no matter your age.

Thank you to the authors, publisher, and Net Galley for allowing me to read an ARC of this wonderful book.
All opinions expressed are my own.

What happens when your spouse is home full time? Read this heartwarming, thought provoking, and sometimes funny book about how spouses interact with each other from moment to moment. Personalities can clash at times. In this book, we are reminded that all of us are created uniquely and have different gifts and talents. Patience, compassion, love, honesty, trust, and God are needed to guide us in relationships. Excellent book. I received a complimentary copy of the book. No review was required.

I LOVE this practical and humorous advice, gently woven with scripture on how to navigate through all-the-time togetherness that couples find themselves in when 'He's Home All The Time' (HHATT Club). Authors Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby offer a wonderful book aimed at acknowledging the challenges with candor, and humor, finding practical solutions guided by biblical principles. "For any Christian who wants their home to be a refuge of peace and serenity for all." Truth be told, I laughed out loud, adjusted my attitude towards my husband, and underlined nearly every page. It's a great book to have on hand for those big changes that find us in times of too much togetherness.

I highly recommend "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Out Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other."
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and Net Galley for allowing me to read an early copy. All opinions are my own.