The concept of this book is really interesting. I was immediately pulled in from the first chapter.

Monster books can veer into camp and this book definitely leans that way by the end. Personally I enjoy a monster horror that doesn't take itself too seriously though. I wouldn't call this book scary necessarily, but there is a bit of gore.

I think this book does a good job at balancing the horror themes with YA queer romance. I really enjoyed the two main characters and felt that they were really believable and earnestly written.

Overall, I had a lot of fun with this book! I think if you are looking for a cute and adventurous story, I'd recommend it!

I received an eARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks NetGalley, finally a supernatural ya mystery done right!

This book is absolutely bonkers but really well done. We meet Finch who wants to attend this ultra exclusive arts school and the night of her audition her family gets into a terrible car accident, they all die except something brings Finch back to life.

She gets into the school and gets wrapped up in a whole lot of supernatural craziness. She remeets Selena and Kyra (along with their other two roommates). She discovers what she thinks is a spirit underneath the school and pulls it free of its void while the others girls watch it happen. This makes them all somehow connected to this spirit (Nerosi).

Nerosi begins asking for things in exchange for granting them favors (beauty, good grades, etc). She does this to build her own power. Meanwhile, Nerosi is the thing that caused Finch's accident and brought her back to life. So they are connected in a way the others aren't. Finch and Selena start investigating and realize Nerosi is tied to the mysterious disappearance of a band (all teens) who had shockingly similar experiences with Nerosi (we never get full confirmation as to what happened to Victor, but I suspect he banished Nerosi in the way he could and died in the process).

Kyra has basically become Nerosi's pawn and is doing all sorts of evil crap to help her. Selena, Finch and the other girls have to stop them and they trap them in the tunnels beneath school while Finch tears open a portal of sorts to banish Nerosi (and Kyra). She succeeds.

The story is the right level of spooky mixed with mystery mixed with crazy. We learn Nerosi is a God and has done this stuff to MANY people in the past. Just a fun read!

This was such a great and dark disturbing YA horror novel that I am beyond surprised about!

My Dearest Darkest is a dark academia horror novel that is very atmospheric, paranormal and eerie! I absolutely loved the characters and the LGBTQ representation throughout the story was perfection! The story starts with a bang and you get an adrenaline rush right from the very first page!

Finch and her friends explore the eerie underground tunnels and discover a carnivorous creature of immense power that can grant ones truest desires... in exchange for a price of course ... how much would you be willing to give up to achieve your deepest desires?

I got serious Stephen King 'IT' vibes from this story and I am totally here for it! Constantly trying to figure out what is going on and how this story will play out made this such a page turner for me! The dark, chilling and sometimes gory scenes were right up my alley! Fantastic descriptive imagery that definitely stays in your mind even after finishing the book.

Definitely recommend to any horror lovers out there who are open to reading within the YA genre!

Thank you so much to Sourcebooks Fire for providing me with this advanced e-book copy in exchange for an honest review!

Pub Day : March 29th, 2022 !

This was so much fun! I can see this being very popular amongst high school aged youth - there's a fun mean-girls-esque plot along with some nice lovecraftian/witch crafty horror. The characters were likable, and the book really picked up after the first 30% or so. There's some romance, and it was all very believable to the point of some of it being pretty cringey. The end felt a little rushed, but overall, I have to say this is an enjoyable horror read - hand it to fans of The Devouring Gray or Riverdale/Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

Finch is dedicated to get into Ulalume Academy, a school that can soar her pianist talent to new heights. However, an accident that kills both her parents and Finch herself changes everything Finch knows, especially when she is brought back to life and gets admitted to Ulalume Academy. Now Finch must navigate a new school, new friends, and the mysterious force that makes up the town of Rainwater. Oh, and her forming crush on resident popular girl Selena St. Clair.

I usually read horror books, just because I get grossed out so quickly and I get scared very easily. But I decided to brave through it for the gays, and it was absolutely worth it.

Let's start with worldbuilding. Rainwater is such an interesting town with a unique history behind it, although it felt kind of infodumped at some points throughout the story. Although I did absolutely love the lore and history behind the mystery and what had occurred in the past. I do also wish that the epilogue provided a bit more clarity as to what was the aftermath for Killing Howard. I know it is basically assumed they died, but the story was built for us to think there was more.

I will say that the characters really made this story unique! I absolutely loved Selena and Finch, although Finch at times was too emotional, but given her history I don't blame her. This story does reveal a lot of flaws to people, especially when it comes to wanting to leave a toxic relationship but not being sure how to, which I relate to a LOT, as well as the hurdles people jump over to try and figure out their sexuality and the people that might get hurt along the way. These were done extremely well, especially at the end which I won't get into because of spoilers. I was half expecting one thing to be done because of how often you see it in media, but it was fresh to see it done the other way around.

Some characters I think were underutilized a little bit, some being Sumera and Simon. They were great characters, and allowed for a lot of dual perspective and characters that introduce us to the world of "My Dearest Darkest." However, sometimes they were just... there? I really thought they would serve bigger purposes besides some exposition and easy-ins to Rainwater, but they really didn't and wish they were involved more. Then there were characters that were used too much, like Kyra. She was a great antagonist with well-rooted motivations, but every single time she got in a fight with the main cast, she says a one-liner and storms out. I kid you not, every scene with her in it ends with her slamming some door. It was kind of funny after a while but it did irk me.

The romance, on the other hand, was absolutely adorable! It was a beautifully written story of rivals forced to work together to lovers and UGH! The story of Finch discovering her sexuality and Selena's experience coming to terms with being bisexual was so well done. I was swooning and screaming and rooting for them the whole way. This story goes to show that love, even queer love, prevails all.

I was absolutely on the edge of my seat. Everything was so graphic and extremely well-described to the point where the more disgusting scenes still gross me out long after I finished reading it. That being said, I don't recommend this for the faint of heart. There are some NASTY images that made me squirm and scream. But honestly, the plot kept me hooked enough to keep reading.

My Dearest Darkest is one of the best debut novels I've read in a long time, and is perfect for horror fans who want some more queer love out of scary books. I can't recommend this book enough!

I received a copy of this story as an e-ARC from both NetGalley and the publisher. Any and all thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book was a really enjoyable read. It has a lot of dark academia which is a trope I really enjoy. It touches on a lot of other content as well. The romance in the book was also really well written. The descriptions of the novel were so in depth, and haunting as you read along. Such a great read.

This book was absolutely fantastic. I've already added it to our list for order this year and will recommend it to students.

Good things first: suitably creepy for a horror novel, and I always appreciate more lesbian and bi representation in YA; but unfortunately, the characters tagged as the "mean girls" weren't all that mean, and sometimes I didn't buy the character motivation. That said, it's a great horror novel and I'm excited to see what the author does next.

Thank you so much to Kayla Cottingham and Sourcebooks for providing me an arc in exchange for an honest review. I absolutely loved reading this book! First of all, it has one of my favorite tropes in books: dark academia. There is just something magical reading about gothic campuses that sets such a great tone for thriller and horror novels. This story is not only a horror novel, but also a sapphic love story! I usually am not someone who enjoys romantic elements in books but this romance was done in such a way that made me invested in the character's relationship. The horror imagery was extremely haunting and the ending was extraordinarily intense. I am a reader who struggles sometimes with visualization so I had to slow down while reading at times to fully picture the imagery that was being presented; however, it really paid off. This novel had a bit of a slow start but once I reached the halfway point, I flew through the rest. I highly recommend this to anyone who loves academic atmospheres, appreciates lyrical writing, and loves a horror novel with romantic elements. 4.5 stars from me!

Thank you so much for the ARC.

Book had a very creepy feeling to it and will be a perfect Halloween read but the girls were just very dumb. I think they were my least favorite part? Where I get it, they're teenagers but still I wanted to wrangle their necks during certain parts.

I don’t know if I was in a darker headspace or what, but I LOVED this book. I was very suspicious about the fact that it was branded as Wilder Girls meets The Craft. Which was an entirely accurate description. This is a YA sapphic horror, and there are some intensely dark moments.

Finch Chamberlin experiences an unthinkable tragedy the day she additions for a position at the Ulalume Academy. She isn’t sure why she didn’t drown with her parents, but she knows it wasn’t natural. Whatever is calling her to Ulalume Academy, it feels like it needs her to be there.

Selena St. Clair, the stereotypical popular girl, and her friends accidentally summon the creature that sends them spiraling on their dark journey.

Selena was the most surprising character out of everyone. I thought I was going to HATE her with a fiery passion, but I really ended up liking her.

There were a lot of elements that seemed to draw me deeper into the world of Ulalume. The imagery was vivid and rich. The dialogue flowed well (and it was clear the author wasn’t trying to sound ‘young’). I felt like I was in Rainwater, Maine on the ride with Finch and Selena.

The cyclical nature of Nerosi, Finch, and Selena discovering what happened in the past, understanding the echoes and then their lightbulb moments. There was a sick part of me that wanted to know how far these girls would go to get what they wanted, but at the same time, I was pleading with them to stop.

This is the first book this year that I had fun reading and I’m definitely going to keep an eye out for Kayla Cottingham’s work in the future.

Death and the supernatural at a prestigious boarding school.

This reminded me of Locke and Key and I was completely okay with that. Instead of the Lockes, Finch, suffering from a familial tragedy, has to acclimate herself to new surroundings, friends, and ghost(s).

Decent read.

Thank you, Sourcebooks Fire, for allowing me to read My Dearest Darkest early!

I wanted to read more queer horror so I checked the horror section on NetGalley and ran into some very interesting titles. Obviously, Kayla Cottingham's debut was one of them and while I didn't read Wilder Girls and I'm not aware of what that book is about, I can definitely say that The Craft was a perfect comparison for My Dearest Darkest. I unwillingly gravitated toward this sapphic horror, but I ended up liking a lot. I adore when these leaps of faith of mine pay off this way.

My Dearest Darkest is Kayla Cottingham's debut novel, and it comes out March 29th, 2022.
Alright into the review. First off, this book had all the things I love: true crime vibes, sapphic rep, dark academia, a boarding school with a dark history and mysteries, cryptids etc. Based off of that, my hopes were high going into this book. And I was not disappointed!! This book was incredible.
I loved all the characters, Selena and Finch were compelling main characters, and their slow burn romance (mean popular girl x anxiety ridden mess musician) was delightful. I loved how Cottingham handled coming out, in particular there's a scene where Selena (bi) and Finch (lesbian) discuss how they both realized they liked girls, and the differences in the bisexual wlw and the lesbian experiences. It was really refreshing to see that portrayed in a very accurate, sensitive way.
The writing was delicious. It was atmospheric, but not in a way that made the book feel slow or boring or hard to read. Cottingham managed to keep the pace just right, with equal balances of horror mixed with regular life + sweet moments to keep me absolutely tearing through this book at breakneck speed. Seriously, I read this book in 5 hours straight. I didn't put it down from the moment I picked it up. The plot was equally character/event driven, which is one of my favorite things, especially in a YA novel.
This book is now a must buy for me when it releases, I need to own a physical copy! This book deserves to be on everyone's TBR! 5/5 stars.

This is cool and spooky and atmospheric, it's got a great FEEL to it, but seriously—is it actually possible for several distinct groups of teens to be this stupid? I mean, really. Who gets played this badly by demonic/eldritch forces who honestly don't even seem to be trying that hard?

Thank you to the publisher & NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review the novel. I am rating this book with my own opinion and have not received anything in return.

3.75 Stars

Thank you to Sourcebooks Fire and Netgalley for an arc of this book.

Finch wants nothing more than to go to Ulalume Academy, a boarding school especially for artistically talented girls, to play the piano. But after a visit to the island in Maine, a tragic accident (or is it?) leaves Finch without her parents and completely changed. Meanwhile, Selena is dealing with her own problems at the Academy and wants nothing to do with Finch's weirdness.

This is dark and creepy all the way through, which I loved! The atmosphere is really good and the plot is super interesting. I really love the kind of accidental cult stuff that happens throughout the book. I also love the sapphic relationship and the discussions of identity within this book.

I didn't love the character development and felt like the pacing felt a little off. Things happened too fast to really be believable and organic for me. Other than that though, I enjoyed this dark academia!

Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Car accident, Body horror, and Death
Moderate: Bullying, Outing, Animal death, Gore, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Panic attacks/disorders

Mean girls, popular clique, mystery, and murder... Kayla Cottingham delivers in this YA mystery that high school teens with devour!

Wickedly dark with haunting imagery, this book sunk it's teeth (no pun intended) into me from the first chapter. The writing is vivid and paints a picture that's so easy to see, every scene crafted in a way that you feel like you're part of the story not just reading about it.

Finch has had her world turned upside down, and while she's still reeling she has a coming of age moment that a lot of people can't handle, but she handled it beautifully, with grace, friends, and some tears..

This story points a spotlight on the pressures teenagers feel to be the best, the smartest, the most talented, the most beautiful, and all of the things that people will do to get those things given the chance, even if it means making a deal with the devil...

You had me at Sapphic and The Craft.

Finch is a meek and mild nobody applying for a spot at an elite boarding school, all about the dark academia aesthetics.
On her way home from her audition the car with she and her parents goes off a bridge and they all drown, except Finch somehow comes back…. different.

Finch’s wish is granted when she is accepted, and she makes her way to her new spooky bougie school.
Things immediately get weird when she decides to join a party in the tunnels and she blacks out after finding an odd girl, but she isn’t just a girl.

The paranormal shit hits the fan while Finch manages being the new girl and her unexpected new crush on mean girl Selena.

I loved this. The premise was great, the representation was wonderful, the horror elements were set up and described effectively, there was a solid sense of dread and suspense throughout.

The only issue I had was that I wanted a little more character development for the side posse and a bit more focus on the atmosphere. Give me more creepy! Honestly with a few tweaks this could be a full 5 stars (even without them this book was good).

Overall this book was a creep filled teen angst/romance ride.


Check it out, when it hits shelves, 4/29/22!

A big thanks to the Publisher & NetGalley for gifting me a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.