Overall it was a 3.5/4 star read but very enjoyable. I really did not have any issues with it other than there were times where it felt things were moved past way too quick (though I am a fast reader so it could’ve been that too or just seemed kind of cheesy in the dialogue department, but I never found myself not enjoying the story!
It’s very “The Craft” meets (and I mean this with a positive connotation) “Riverdale” in a way. I think most of it I knew where it was going, but there definitely were things I hadn’t expected at all. I absolutely loved the descriptions of all the creepy bits too. They really did a great job in reminding you like “hey, these characters figuring themselves out is super cute, but don’t forget about the bloody mess in the corner ok?”.
It’s hard for me to put in words exactly how I felt about this book but if it sounds good to you then I encourage you to read it!


I would like to thank Netgalley and Kayla Cottingham for the chance to read this early!
#netgalley #mydearestdarkest

Phew. What a thriller and so eerie! I know this is a YA, but books like this didn't exist in my formative years and am just starting to dive in and appreciate them. The Craft was one of my favorite movies growing up and I want to say this book was darker than the whole movie. That look over your shoulder feeling permeated throughout and that was so thrilling. I enjoyed the mains as much as the side characters and the school itself ended up becoming a character. You will not be disappointed in devouring this read... you may use a nightlight for a few days to chase out the shadows, but totally worth it.

A dark, twisty, sapphic, gothic, teen horror..

Really enjoyed this book and it kept me guessing from the off. I thought the relationships were believable and engaging. The setting was gorgeous and evocative. And it did give me the heebie newbies (especially late at night).

The writing was good and the plot was pacy. I thought the flashbacks and early horror and sacrifices were quite terrifying and it built drama well. Amazing diversity as well, which is lovely to see in teen drama.

For me - the ending lost it a little bit. I preferred the manipulative blackmailing to the descent into true monster.. And the tentacles were a slight bridge too far.

I thought the Kyra made a better villain than Serosi. But I wanted them both to be much better developed.

Overall a good read. Perfect for fans of the Craft.

Advanced Reader’s Copy provided by NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS Fire in exchange for an honest review.

Author provided CW: Abusive relationships, alcohol consumption by minors, anxiety, blood & gore depiction, body horror, burns, coming out themes, cults, dead bodies/body parts, death of a parent, death of a friend, depression, drowning, emesis, emotional abuse, grief & loss depiction, hallucinations, loss of autonomy, mind control, murder, outing (mentioned), panic attacks (mentioned), physical injuries & wounds, post Traumatic Stress Disorder, biphobia (mentioned), racism (mentioned), recreational drug use (marijuana)

Ok so THIS is what YA horror featuring teenagers should be like! These teens acted like teens. They made vain, stupid, selfish choices because those choices directly benefited them immediately without thinking about the long term consequences of any of it. While I wish the campus was more developed, readers get enough details to make the tunnels under the school creepy enough to set the scene for what happens.

Readers will be hooked by Finch's story by the end of the first chapter, and as the plot continues, Cottingham slowly gives readers more hints and information to piece together both Finch's backstory, and about what is living in that weird room under the campus. As the horror elements pick up, readers will get the frantic feeling of running out of time as the walls slowly close in on you. This is the type of horror that gets into your head and makes you wonder what lives in the dark corners of your basement. Hopefully it's not an eight-eyed stag or a vengeful god.

I thought Finch's coming to terms with her sexuality was a good addition to the story along with the sapphic romance that occurs. Cottingham included plot points relative to being a teenager that while aren't directly linked to the horror storyline within the novel, are directly influencing the decisions the teens are making. So many YA authors write their teen protagonists entirely forgetting how teens actually behave. They age them up in order to make their plot go the way they want it to. It's nice to see a horror novel that has teens that look, act, and sound like teens.

The final battle was intense and overall I thought the conclusion was good. There were a few loose ends I wish had been addressed, but not anything that took away from the rest of the novel or reading experience. Maybe these teens can keep hunting for cryptids in college so we can get another story with them? I'm not entirely ready to let them go yet.

Okay, this story included everything I love in a story (cults, boarding school vibes, I'm in!). I really loved this one! The book was well written and the characters were well executed as well!

When I first started this book, I didn't know if I was going to be into it. It was definitely weird but that turned out to be a good thing. It was creepy/eerie and well done.

My Dearest Darkest has a fantastic premise that I was really excited about: girls at a boarding school discover a being in the tunnels beneath the school who will grant wishes in exchange for sacrifices.

Unfortunately, the book didn’t fully work for me. While the idea behind it was wonderfully creative and creepy, the writing itself needed more polish. I found it often disjointed, with unnatural dialogue.

The horror often took a backseat to teen dating drama — I don’t mind romance in with my horror (and I love a good sapphic romance!) but the balance didn’t work for me this time. I also struggled with getting a sense of place and the wider world of the book. I was intrigued by the dark academia theme but the school didn’t play much of a role in the plot.

I do think this book will find its readers though. I think the premise is wonderful, the mythology is interesting, and the monster is nice and creepy. I would recommend My Dearest Darkest to fans of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina or Ninth House.

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for providing me with a review copy of this book.

Wow, this is the queer representation that I wish I had as a teenager! The depiction of coming out (even just to yourself) and the oblivious way that femmes flirt were so perfect.

I also really enjoyed the plot. A lot of YA novels tend to fall into vampires, werewolves, or typical witchcraft; but, My Dearest Darkest created its own path with Nerosi. Nerosi is such a unique character and I loved that what she was and what her true intentions were were a mystery.

Overall, this was such a fun read. Fantasy, supernatural, mystery, romance -My Dearest Darkest has it all!

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and author for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

I’m very slightly torn about this book. On the one hand the low key dark academia vibes were delicious, and I loved the darker aspects of the story, the horror aspects, the transformative nature of the magic, and the echos.

On the other hand I did feel like the relationship drama was incredibly… young, I guess, in the face of that horror. I don’t think a lot of it was necessary and in some instances it did pull me out of my enjoyment of the book, but the characters are young - still in school, so it’s not like it wasn’t warranted. I also think there were instances of very flat characterisations of some characters - the villains were very two dimensional and that took away from some of the horror.

I’m still giving it 4 stars though - probably 3.5 rounded up, because it was really enjoyable and a very fast paced read, and I’m never gonna say no to some sapphic horror!

Could not put this one down! Fantastic thriller/horror with plenty of twists and turns. I can’t wait for more by author. Thank you to publisher and NetGalley for chance to read and review the ARC.

Kayla Cottingham's debut novel My Dearest Darkest truly embraces the genre of sapphic horror. After surviving an accident that her parents died in, Finch starts at a new boarding school. But there's something off about her since the accident--something more than grieving her lost parents. A bizarre connection causes her to fall in with Selena and the popular crowd in school and suddenly all the girls seem to be getting everything they've ever wanted. It doesn't take long for them to realize that this all comes at a price, but has it already gone too far? Cottingham expertly weaves coming-of-age themes with the horror genre and gifts readers with amazing characterization. My Dearest Darkest is a must-read.

Kayla Cottingham is giving me “Gossip Girl” meets “Nancy Drew” with LGBTQI+ representation. A lot of my student like thrillers and identify as part of the queer community, so by having representation for the community this will be a game changer. I will most definitely be adapting this for my classroom library.

Book Review

My Dearest Darkest
Kayla Cottingham

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 5

Are you looking for a good YA thriller/horror book with a slight enemies to lovers and an incredible slow burn? Look no further

Finch Chamberlain died and was brought back to life. Why or by who or what, that’s what she’s about to find out. Selena is the “it” girl of Ulalume and the one who is going to help find the answers. When a dark mysterious being is awoken under Ulalume, it’s up to Finch, Selena and friends to save the day.

Okay this book was everything I needed. It had the thrill, the suspense, the love and the burn. The amount of diversity in this book was PHENOMENAL! Honestly, I don’t think I have read a book recently that included so many different nationalities and sexual orientations. It was great. The burn was s l o w though. Like, REALLY slow. And you weren’t even aware it was burning until it happened. And that was at 75%! The last 20% of this book were a RIDE! Definitely a great new book coming! Super Jennifer’s Body vibes which was also a massive plus!

Although Kayla Cottingham’s debut had its moments My Dearest Darkest failed to convince, perhaps I have read too many YA novels sat in posh boarding schools? And even though boys were around, they were mere wallpaper and this was yet another YA horror novel solely seen a female perspective and there was nothing to distinguish it from the pack. Proceedings open with Finch Chamberlin auditioning for a place in prestigious arts school Ulalume Academy, on the way home there is a crash and both her parents drown after seeing a ghostly stag on the road. Finch survives, (or does she?) and when she later takes up her place at the school is very pale and has a weird supernatural entity connected to the school which lurks in the caves under the buildings and seems to have the ability of granting wishes (but at what cost?)

The supernatural story failed to convince me and the balance between this and the ‘mean girl’ type situations did not click particularly well. The second narrative takes in Selena St. Clair, who is one of the post popular and bitchy girls on campus, after a music project pairs them together the two slowly click and a romance develops. Considering the two girls were very different, I was surprised that the bisexual Selena was attracted to the mousy and quiet Finch. There was a fair bit of sexual angst tension in the story, underage drinking, partying and the supernatural story bubbling in the background. AGE RANGE 13+

4/5 stars. To be released 2022.

This book had a rocky start for me, but it grew on me as the story progressed. I felt like the writing got better and better as the book went. Some of the final scenes were super well written and vividly descriptive. A lot of creepiness/spookiness set at a boarding school makes for a fun ride.

I didn’t fully realize I signed up for a sapphic New England boarding school Eldridge horror, but wow, what a ride!

Yes, buying a lighthouse for your daughter and her friends to live in while attending a fancy boarding school is the bougiest thing I’ve ever heard of, but damn does it make a great setting. I would kill to live there! Plus the underground tunnels on campus are SO cool and spooky. A+ setting.

Each of the girls (plus Simon) feel fully brought to life by the writing. Watching Finch and Selena catch feelings for each other was super cute <3

The story immediately hooks you in with our main characters running into not one, but TWO cool cryptids. Plus there’s a missing band and a cult! For a while I was pretty sure I knew where this was going. It feels like a typical ghost story for maybe the first half, but that final confrontation brings in some surprise cosmic horror elements that really takes this story to another level.

5 out of 5 stars

A smart, Craft-esque sapphic horror, this book held my attention from the beginning. It goes very hard in the cosmic horror space and is sure to delight horror fans.

Loved it!!

This story starts fast and does not stop. Kayla does a fabulous job setting the scene. The school was richly described which made it feel like I was at Ulalame with Finch and Selena. The characters also felt like real teens, which is sometimes lacking in YA.

The alternating POV was helpful, but of course I had a favorite and that was Finch. I was drawn to her character struggle from the beginning. I connected with her the most about wanting a new life, but being haunted by the past.

The Interpersonal struggles made the story richer, especially with Selena’s relationships and Finch grief.

The selling points: Vivid gothic setting, diverse array of characters, spook factor on 10 (monster in the tunnels?!), Music school twist on dark academia. SAPPHIC. Dark Magic. What more could you want?

I didn’t like this book. I found the plot to be cringey and the main characters to be annoying to me. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the author’s writing style and will definitely read more books by them in the future.

Source of book: NetGalley (thank you)
Relevant disclaimers: I work for the same publisher (Casablanca imprint, not Fire) as this author; no other contact
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.

I think I might have gone into this book with the wrong expectations. I’d got sort of sapphic and gothic and dark academia vibes, so I’d assumed a sort of slow burn. But, no, everything is one fire from the get-go. I mean in literally the first chapter, the heroine, Finch, is wishing she would do anything to get a scholarship to Ulalume Academy and then her parents drive their car over a bridge into a river and die, while an eight-eyed stag with bloody velvet on its horns watches Finch fight her way out of the water filled vehicle before, uh, dying herself. And then getting resuscitated, only to be permanently afflicted with sluggish heartbeat, white hair, and cold, pale skin.

What’s extra weird about this is that the heroine of the book is basically … a zombie? From chapter 1 and it’s not really a big deal to anyone. Nor is the fact that a weird ghost girl appears in the depths of the school and starts granting wishes to anyone who asks in return for increasingly horrific favours. Oh, and in 2004, five kids mysteriously died after forming a abruptly successful rock band. And probably I am maintaining the wrong expectations for this book, but, like, I think about all the paperwork, and song and dance, and safeguarding sessions, and interventions from the PTA we get if a kid stubs their toe. Imagine if FIVE OF THEM DIED. How is Ulalume Academy still functioning?

Anyway, I think get what Dearest Darkest was shooting for: balls-to-the-wall horror meets teenage social commentary. Honestly, it feels like it should be two great tastes that go great together (since is not peer pressure not its own horror, ahhhhhh) except while I felt the horror mostly hit the mark, the teen life didn’t so much. At least, not for me. Finch is a zombie (?) musical prodigy who has been mostly homeschooled and spends most of the book with everybody being incredibly nice to her, despite the fact that—and I’m quoting the villain here, who I broadly agreed with on most things—she has all the charisma of a wet cracker. Selena, by contrast, is a bisexual mean girl who fought her way to queen bee status in order to protect herself from the social stigma she experienced when she was outed by her ex-girlfriend.

Except, to me, Selena never seemed that mean? Finch is actually sort of more hurtful, in her … whole physically recoiling and running away from people because she’s not comfortable in the discovery she’s gay. There’s a fair of bit of sexuality-oriented angst in here and, if I’m honest, it felt a bit … disconnected to me? Like sexuality is treated as inherently a source of anxiety and/or shame, when usually it’s context that creates the shame, you know? Whereas there’s nothing about Ulalume Academy that seems to suggest it’s not accepting of queer identities: in the very first party Finch attends, there are boys kissing in a corner and the mean-girl villain is herself queer. Yes, Selena was outed (and I am not saying being outed is not horrific—and, in fact, I wish it wasn’t a plot point in so many queer books) but it was less her identity that caused the problem, so much as the villain telling everyone that Selena was treating sex like a scoresheet. And I know, I know, you don’t have to have rational reasons for being fearful of elements of yourself not finding acceptance, so realising you’re queer is scary even in the most liberal of environments, but since both protagonists struggle so much with their sexuality over the course of the book I wish there’s been more depth and detail to this struggle instead of it just being centred on generic bad gay feels.

To be honest, I think depth and detail is where My Dearest Darkest didn’t quite deliver for me in general. The blurb compares the book to The Craft but … okay. The thing about The Craft is that the teenage girls turn to magic to address their own sense of powerlessness, both in their lives and amongst their peers. Sarah has lost her mother, Nancy is looked do for being “white trash”, Bonnie has her scars, and Rochelle is suffering racially-charged bullying. They’re outsiders in a hostile world (the school world they inhabit, with indifferent teenagers, and boys only too eager to exploit them) and a broader world that is not kind to young women in general (Nancy’s mother is in an abusive relationship, none of the girls really have parental figures they can turn to—Sarah, in the end, ends up turning to a random shopkeeper, that’s how lost these characters are).

Selena and her cronies are rich, powerful, mean girls: yes, they use random ghost monster in the basement to cement that power, and there’s an aside about one of them struggling academically, but they kind of rule the school already? And the school is a nice, full of respectful boys, and an almost absurdly diverse student body. The thing about the devil—or devil-like figures—is that the devil is a confidence trickster. He offers deals to the desperate, that only the desperate will take. I didn’t believe any of these girls were desperate for anything really beyond more of the teenage cachet that they already apparently have? And even that sense of wanting teenage cachet I was drawing by implication from other books about teenage girls behaving badly (like Pretty Little Liars) rather than from this book specifically.

Ack, this all sounds more negative than I wanted it to. In the book’s favour, I did enjoy the writing (there are some one-liners that made me literally cackle), the relationship between Selena and Finch is charming once it actually starts happening and there are so many good ideas in here. I think that for many readers the strength of those ideas, the juxtaposition of walls-to-the-wall B-movie horror and teenage girls trying to figure out who they are and what they want, will carry them past the places where, for me, the execution just didn’t quite make it. As a debut, My Dearest Darkest doesn’t lack for panache. I just think it could have had benefited from more thematic cohesion: it’s kind of low-light academia at best, and I think the horror would have landed better emotionally speaking if the school had been a bit more Catherine House and a bit less Mallory Towers.