Yay! A Sapphic Horror story that genuinely scared me! This book has such a clever premise and is creepy throughout, with its dark academia vibes and sinister deals made with the monster lurking in the tunnels under the school. I loved the cast of characters, the diversity rep, and the mental health discussions that are had in this book(instead of just glossing over trauma, depression, or anxiety--it's addressed). Well done, Kayla Cottingham!

This book is fine. I would still recommend it to younger readers, but it was hard to suspend disbelief the entire time. I know that it was fantasy and horror mixed together, but the characters were flat, and the writing was stilted. Also, everyone was so on board with a spirit living under their school..? I, as the reader, can suspend some disbelief, but these girls were all like, "Okay! Cool!"

A sapphic horror story! Dark academia set in a boarding school in Maine.
Finch is a newly orphaned piano prodigy hoping to make friends and fit in her new school. She inadvertently creates a enemy in the most popular girl, Selena St. Clair.

As the two warily circle each other after assigned a school project, when a late night provides an opportunity to be granted their greatest wishes. The problem is what they need to feed this spirit. Will they or won't they make peace? More importantly who or what is this spirit and what should they do?

At times, complete cornball horror but quite enjoyable and a smart and quick ya story. If you like YA, horror stories, dark academia and of course sapphic love, then this is a book for you! #sourcebooks #sourcebooksfire #Mydearestdarkest #netGalley

An interesting read for sure! 4/5 stars. This journey takes us through the eyes of Finch and Selena in alternating chapters at a private/prep school. Things start to get dark fast as weird stuff starts happening. With the inclusion of cults and scary magic, you’re sure to keep getting surprised until the very end. I will admit the first 1/4 of the book was a bit confusing, but once you get past that, the rest is enjoyable. I loved the inclusion of queer identities and relationships, something you often don’t read in other books.

Thank you to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham is a YA sapphic horror debut novel that will appeal to fans of The Coldest Touch or Plain Bad Heroines. The story revolves around Finch, who is arrived at the elite boarding school Ulalume Academy for the first time. Selena, a popular mean girl, and Finch start off as enemies, but they soon join together when they realize that something's wrong at their school. A monster is granting students impossible wishes and taking body parts in exchange. Will they be able to stop this monster or will it take over the entire town?

Here is an excerpt from Chapter 1 that introduces the gothic campus:

""Terrible-­looking campus, huh?” her father said, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror. He nodded up at the soaring spires of Ulalume Academy as they came into view beyond the trees.
“Oh! I…I think it’s pretty,” Finch defended, looking down at her shoes.
“He’s joking, sweetie.” Finch’s mother shot him a sharp look. “It’s lovely.”
Ulalume’s towering, gothic campus rose out of the fog-­shrouded trees. The peninsula Rainwater rested on was just under forty square miles, vaguely crescent-­shaped, with a rocky coastline and the occasional pebble beach. A single causeway led in and out."

Overall, My Dearest Darkest is a YA horror novel that will have you spooked out of your mind. One highlight of this book is the creepy gothic setting: an old boarding school, as well as the dense woods in the town. I made the mistake of reading this book too close to nighttime, and at points, I felt chills up and down my spine. If I had to complain about 1 thing, I would say that the actual monster paled in comparison to the spooky setting If you're intrigued by the excerpt above, or if you're a fan of horror, I recommend that you check out this book when it comes out in April!

If you ever read any H. P. Lovecraft and decided what it needed was to be crossed with Pretty Little Liars and Mallory Towers, and to be made 100 percent more sapphic, then Kayla Cottingham has the book for you!

Finch finds herself the newest student at the prestigious Ulalume Academy (a great literary reference to Poe!) on a music scholarship. Unbeknownst to most of her classmates, however, is the tragedy from months ago that completely derailed her life.

Surrounding her are a cast of rich, talented, and sometimes mean teen girls, though she finds solace with her friendship with new roommate, Sumera. Unfortunately, she gets on less well with popular girl Selena, who Finch accidentally got into trouble during her audition at the school months before.

What none of the students realise at first, though, is that something terrible and ancient has been awakened in the surrounding area, a terrible power that could potentially cost them everything.

Throughout the book, Finch and Selena are both pulled into investigating not just the newfound entity that can grant them wishes - for a price - but also the disappearance of a band decades ago that was rumoured to be part of a cult. Through their investigations they build a friendship and then a romance, all against the backdrop of Selena's strained friendship with manipulative ex girlfriend Kyra and the growing threat that could cost them all more than they bargained for.

This book strikes a lot of familiar notes for anyone familiar with the cosmic horror genre, but the unusual setting and the vibrant, diverse cast of characters gives the book a fun, fresh twist that sets the bar for what contemporary cosmic horror stories can be.

Finch had the opportunity of a lifetime and was known to be a prodigy, she had an audition to the ultra-competitive Ulalume Academy. Unfortunately on the way home from the audition she and her parents were in an accident leaving her the sole survivor.
So being if being the new transfer student at the school was not enough, she is not what she seems.
On the day of the unfortunate accident something in the river would not let her die, and while something is definitely wrong with her Selena is still drawn to her completely.
Now this book has all the makings of a classic horror story, but with a definite twist! There is the slow burn romance, cults, sacrifices, the boarding school, the coming out/exploring sexuality, death, and of course a monster that was summoned by teens.
This is definitely one that horror lovers should read, the creepy factors alone this is a must-read!
Thank you Netgalley and Sourcebooks Fire for the extraordinary opportunity to read and review this one! I definitely enjoyed it!

“Hell is a teenage girl.” - Diablo Cody, Jennifer’s Body

Two girls, a god, and making deals with the devil. Finch Chamberlin is shy and awkward and is the newest transfer student to the competitive Ulalume Academy. On the day of her audition she accidentally meets Selena St. Clair, a gorgeous popular mean girl with more secrets. On the day of her audition on the way back home Finch and her parents get into an accident and finch dies at the bottom of the river... until she is back. Finch was declared dead but has somehow made it back alive but her parents did not. As Finch begins her school year at Ulalume, right after a traumatizing and horrific event in her life, she is fragile and just trying to make it through the year. However she finds herself being pulled to a mysterious ghost like creature in the cave that goes by the name of Nerosi... It also doesn’t help that Finch ends up paired with Selena who seems to see right through Finch. Selena and her friends accidentally run into a cave and meet a creature named Nerosi who offers to give them whatever they want in exchange for something else... and as Selena’s friends begin asking for more things and the sacrifices get bigger and bigger Selena will have to find a way to save them before it’s too late and the only person she knows that can help her is in the form of the girl who she can’t seem to stay away from, Finch. Finch and Selena soon find that they share a connection besides Nerosi, and must help each other stop this mysterious creature before it’s evil is unleashed on everyone and destroys everything. On top of that they’re complicated feelings for each other are growing and bodies will start dropping soon. This was such a fun read! It mixes in mystery, romance, friendship, fighting demons/creatures, and everything in between. It was a thrill from beginning to end and getting to know Finch and Selena was a joy! I definitely recommend this book!!! This definitely fits the " Wilder Girls meets The Craft in this Sapphic horror debut that asks: what price would you be willing to pay to achieve your deepest desires?" and IT IS EVERYTHING.

I didn’t love this but the creepy stuff was all well written and very descriptive, and I liked all the Boston/New England stuff, so I’ll definitely give her next book a chance too!

This will keep you up all night turning pages of the book as fast as you can. One of those where you just have to know what’s on the next page even though you are still reading the previous page kind of books.

“Queer feminist horror was not a genre I knew I needed to be reading, but after this book I am here to stay! This book has it all love, ghosts, monsters, gods, secluded scary school on an island, literally everything. The happiest and the worst day of finches life were the same day, but something brought her back to life, but she had no idea what the price she was going to pay was. Nerosi lives in the darkness, but she needs things from the living in order to survive. This book is dark, creepy, and all together fabulous.

After finishing this book, I'm going to give it a 3.5/5. I think I might have hyped this one up a bit too much in my head that it didn't fully live up to my expectations. That saying it wasn't bad, I'll definitely recommend it to my students who are mystery fans.

WoW!
Sourcebooks Fire this book was fire! I legit had so much damn fun reading this book and I knew this was going to be a five star read! My Dearest Darkest is Kayla Cottingham's debut novel and its outstanding! The story itself is phenomenal and wild! These characters are amazing in every way possible! I've said it before and I'll keep saying it..... THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOUNG ADULT THRILLERS!!!!! The way she writes this book is crazy good..... I seriously couldn't keep my eyes off my Kindle! I was up way too late to finish this to see how it ends!
This was a fast paced story that will hook you from the very first page!
This is an addictive read that pulled me in from the very start. 
An engrossing thriller that had me on the edge of my seat as the tension continues to escalate throughout the whole read.
Had a crazy amount of twists and turns. This book is going to be a bit hit...... Thank you again for the chance to read this amazing thriller!

Thank you for this amazing new eARC!

This book was a fast, easy read that I didn’t want to put down. Readers who enjoy stories at boarding schools with lots of after-hours or forbidden/forgotten places will enjoy the story! I really liked the characters in the book, especially Finch. Selena went through a lot of character growth and I liked her a lot by the end of the book. The relationships felt genuine and I didn’t find the characters too stereotypical. The story itself was quite chilling. One character mentions that the entity may have been present in its location for centuries and, honestly, I would love to know more about their origins and mythology! The descriptions of the entities are very well done; I could easily visualize them. There is just a small bit of gore (mostly descriptions of blood and ichor) throughout that is easily skippable. The book kept me guessing and I was on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. I strongly recommend it for teens and older!

ARC REVIEW: My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham
Genre: LGBTQIA; YA/Teen; Horror

Would you make a deal with the devil if it meant getting everything you’ve ever wanted?

After a tragic accident, Finch Chamberlin starts a new life as a transfer student at Ulalume Academy, but not everything is as it seems. The accident changed Finch both mentally and physically and when that change happens to mean a connection to an unknown creature named Nerosi who promises to grant her friends and her anything they desire things start to get a little complicated. When Nerosi's intentions come under question and striking similarities to missing person cases start popping up Finch and her friends must make a huge decision.

The cover alone is a Solid WIN! Blood splatter, academy uniform design in the words, gives a feel for what the book has in store. This type of trope is very appealing to me.

This YA debut novel has everything! Bitchy teens (with some Cheryl Blossom vibes out there for my Riverdale fans), an LGBTQIA underplot, death, gore, a character I found myself rooting to die (I know I'm the worst but so is she so), you name it this book probably has it! I was on the edge of my seat the last few chapters with my heart racing!! I don’t read much that classifies as horror but I now will be reading that genre so much more because WOW the detail!!! I was totally picturing this as a Netlfix limited series (you hearing me Netflix?)

This book comes out April 5th 2022 so add it to your Goodreads TBR and catch yourself a copy when it hits the shelf

Thanks to Kayla Cottingham and Sourcebooks for this ARC!

Not one of my favorite books, but a good, solid read. I would recommend this to fans of mystery and supernatural books, especially those looking for queer representation. The characters gave me a real Locke and Key vibe.

One thing I wasn't super huge on was how quickly Selena and Finch made up from Finch's mistake earlier in the book. For as big a deal as Selena made, it seems like she got over it pretty fast!

Another review mentioned the narration fading in and out throughout the book, and it does! It helps add gravitas if you imagine Vincent Price doing the narrating!

I was so excited for this book, but unfortunately it fell short of my expectations. It had so much potential, but i didn’t feel like any backstories (of the main characters or of Nerosi) were very well cultivated. I didn’t dislike Finch or Selena, but I felt like I didn’t know them.
It also seemed like Ulalume Academy was just a convenient setting for the story. The girls are hardly ever in class, and I didn’t get that dark academia vibe I was expecting from a YA horror set at a boarding school. 2/5

What would you do if your wishes were granted? What would you give to have your dreams come true?

Welcome to Rainwater, Maine where Ulalume Academy sits. After an audition to land a spot in the competitive school, Finch and her parents get into an accident, plunging them into a watery grave. But Finch doesn't die. Instead, she arose something ancient. In saving her, this ancient monster has awakened and Finch will never be the same.

My Dearest Darkest was an eerie and vivid story about a group of friends who uncover a mysterious black eyed girl in the sea caves. She seems like a godsend, offering them favors out of kindness. Only they soon realize she isn't acting out of kindness, but offering gifts born from sacrifice. And what she wants is more than anyone bargained for. Finch has this really strong, but unwanted connection to the girl, Nerosi and the more she starts to understand the connection, the more she fears for this group of girls... and herself.

Selena and her friends have all bargained with Nerosi and as she starts digging into the ancient history surrounding the girl, the more it becomes clear that they never should have dealt with Nerosi in the first place. But one good thing has come from all of this. She is utterly smitten with the new girl, Finch. Together, they will have to figure out what is really going on and attempt to stop this all from happening again.

I really enjoyed the creepy factor in this book. Cottingham dis a really good job of painting a horrific and unsettling picture. I read some of this at night in bed and I actually started freaking myself out... I love that! I also really loved the lesbian and bisexual rep in this book. I loved the maneuvering through a mutual attraction while neither girl is aware that the other is interested. It was cute! I also really enjoyed the monstrous element in this book. I thought the idea behind Nerosi was really scary and well written.

A young adult novel with a great story. Perfectly sketch characters in a plot that builds to a dramatic climax. I really enjoyed this one.

An entertaining tale of a powerful being in the tunnels under the school with a strong lgbtqia cast. What more can you ask for? This is sure to be popular with many readers.

This novel starts off with a bang and doesn't fizzle out. There is plenty of drama, horror and general creepiness throughout.

I found the development of the characters and the dialogue between them to be very natural and real. I especially liked the occasional use of humour which occurred when characters made witty remarks.

Falling somewhere between Will Kostakis' Monuments and Laura Pohl's The Grimrose Girls, I will definitely be purchasing this for our library. I'm sure our book club members will devour it.

I received this arc from netgalley in exchange for my honest review.