ALL THE WHITE FRIENDS I COULDN'T KEEP was one of the top books I read in 2022. I appreciated Andre's honesty and, as a Black woman, I could relate to many of his experiences with white Christians and in Christian spaces. I thought this was a very clear and excellently written book!

Great book, great writing, and very profound. I appreciate Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for allowing me to read and review.

I highly enjoyed this!
It is chalked full of personal experiences and how we can be part of the solution and stop being a hindrance.
I particularly enjoyed the chapter near the end on laughtivism and dilemma actions.
Much love to NetGalley & Convergent Books for my ARC!

*** It should be noted that his book is written by a Black author with a primary intention to speak to other Black people. As a white reviewer, please keep that in mind when/if reading my review.

I have never highlighted as much as I highlighted in this book. The amount of knowledge of history and data put forth in this book in just a casual manner is astounding. It reads very easily as a memoir, but woven through are so many facts about historical figures, the history of fights for equality worldwide, and information about non-violent resistance. Although Henry seems to be active on many fronts, it seems his truest form of resistance is through constantly educating himself and filling himself up with realistic hope and joy.

Andre Henry recalls conversations he had with white friends after George Floyd's death. Henry's story is hard to hear. By vocally supporting social justice, he faced unexpected pushback from his white friends. After multiple such occasions, he chose to stop trying to convince his white friends of his lived experiences and create change without them.

Henry's book contains many hard pills he had to swallow and that the rest of us need to own up to. It reminds us that until we really listen AND believe the experiences that our Black neighbors are telling us, we'll continue dragging our feet in making progress in moving forward.

Do I agree with every solution that Henry offers in his book? Not all. That's okay. I don’t have to agree with Henry's every conclusion to still hear and believe his experience.

Here are some important quotes I took from Henry's book.

"We fight for people we care about, period. If you saw a friend in danger, love would compel you to try to save them."

"Nowadays, when white people call me angry, I don’t lie like I did to Ashlee. When I choose to respond, I usually tell them, 'You’re right. I am angry, and for good reason. Why aren’t you?' It’s good for them to encounter Black anger because it undermines the big lie that everything is all right."

"White people need to learn to share power. But we also need to empower ourselves. If we build our own tables, we will no longer have to beg for a seat at theirs."

"We don’t need [white] saviors. We need people who understand the subtle ways white supremacy and anti-Blackness control white people’s behavior and who want to be free of their influence."

My thanks to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the review copy of this book.

I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted more sections of a book. This is a well-written, concise, often humorous, always honest anti-racism memoir. As always, there is much to learn when reading a book written by a black person for black people and I really recommend this one for anyone who is interested in learning more about the ways we can fight for racial justice and what I means to truly be an ally to the movement.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the e-ERC in exchange for an honest review.

First, this book was not written for me. I am very aware of that, AND I'm so grateful I was given the opportunity to read and review this book. Andre Henry makes such compelling arguments for dropping white people from his life and really allowed me to look inwards at the relationships I have with Black friends and colleagues and made me really think about my ally ship or something lack there of. What a book!

What a phenomenal book! Henry's story is powerful and his clear, firm condemnation of racism and description of its effects on Black people are desperately needed in many circles. If you're white like me, t's not a comfortable book to read, but it is an important one. Henry's writing is compelling and forces the reader to sit with the terrible facts that we'd so often like to deny. I very much hope this book gets the attention it deserves.

All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep by Andre Henry

TW: The author offers a content warning in the form of a letter at the beginning of the book.

Short Review: This book is another example that demonstrates Austin Channing Brown's statement, "White people are exhausting."

Long Review:
Andre Henry's book All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep shares Henry's journey of having and losing his white friends. Henry recounts various scenarios throughout his life that express how hurtful and traumatic it was to be in predominately white (at times Christians) spaces, paying special attention to the emotional labor of trying to convince white people that Black Lives Matter. Additionally, Henry offers ways to practice hope as the fight for equity continues.

Some of the chapters that stood out to me were:
The Right to Remain Angry
The Personal and the Political
We Do Not Debate with Racists
(White) Men Explain Things to Me

As a white woman, this book isn't written for me, and at times I wondered if I could find myself in the narratives of the white people he discusses. I'm still thinking about this daily.

Loved this book so much that I recommended it as additional reading in my own book. Cannot wait for the world to have access to what is a tremendously necessary and personal text.

“…If we want to make Black Lives matter…millions of ordinary, organized, outraged people will have to plan and execute disruptive militant, nonviolent, campaigns for racial progress on a regular basis until our vision for a racially just society is realized.” - Andre Henry

This book was one of my most anticipated 2022 reads, and it surpassed every expectation. Although I generally enjoy non-fiction, I was absolutely HOOKED on this book from the very first page. Andre's book combines his personal stories, detailed research, and an optimistic perspective that truly feels like a breath of fresh air in the landscape of racial justice work. While being extremely vulnerable and presenting us readers with challenging content, we still get the sense that he truly cares about the people who are in this work together and for the right reasons.

This book, and Andre's work in general, is an absolute gift to racial justice. Thank you to Convergent Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and highlight this book before it's pub date!

Andre Henry is a vital voice I only discovered on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday (12/15). He tweeted a photo of Dr. King relaxing in a Jamaican pool with the caption, “I keep this picture of Dr. King chilling in Jamaica as my Macbook's desktop wallpaper, and remind myself that freedom fighters need ease. I show this to collaborators when we're songwriting and tell them "I want my music to sound like this picture."

What a simple yet powerful message. When I clicked on his profile to learn more about his music, I was pleased to find he had a book coming out – about hope and fighting for Black lives.

All the White Friends I Couldn’t Keep is aptly named. It is not about racial reconciliation. He says, “Too often, we get bogged down in trying to convince active oppressors to racial progress to agree with us. But we can change the world in spite of their opposition by focusing on people who are in the moveable middle.”

It is instead about antiracism and non-violence, expanding on Dr. King’s globalist and anti-poverty missions. It is also about grief and trauma endured from racialized inferiority and the dehumanization of Black lives. It is about our shared humanity.

It is also about hope and practical ways we can feed our hope. Henry writes, “True hope remains humble about the future, even as it continues believing in human agency. I’m hopeful because I believe history is a story we’re writing together, not something happening to us – which means we all get a say in how the story ends. But that also means we’re going to have to struggle for the story we want.”

I’m convinced that nonfiction written by poets and songwriters are my favorite kinds of books (e.g., Hanif Abdurraquib, Clint Smith, and now, Andre Henry). Am also convinced that this book is not getting enough attention. If you are reading this review, please add this to your TBR and (pre)order! This is one to read and re-read to stay focused on freedom and joy.

Andre Henry debut book allows the ready to fully envision each story with his descriptive language. His grace and candor allows you to understand the depth of his experience and the bravery one exhibits being a black person in America. Philosopher Stanley Cavell wrote. ‘How do we learn that what we need is not more knowledge but the willingness to forgo knowing?’ Andre brings us to this very point when he introduces hope as a salve and critical lesson for a revolution to be successful. This book will also teach you about the practices to find wholeness.

A BIG thank you to Convergent Books and NetGalley for allowing me to read an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review! PLEASE NOTE: this book is concerning race issues within America and the author specifically notes he wrote this for his fellow Black brothers and sisters, although he is open to others reading it and hopefully gaining insight. I am a white woman and obviously not the target audience so please consider this while reading my review (or passing over it, that's okay too).

Andre Henry is a wonderful writer, which I expected because he is also a wonderful speaker. I have personally had a few run ins with him during the BLM protests in Pasadena during the pandemic and I must say this guy is a joy to listen to. His book reads like he speaks, in that, you feel like you're just talking to a friend and listening to his life stories while also learning some hard lessons. Once you pick this book up it is hard to put down, you become captivated by the stories and words written, and each story has a lesson we could all learn from.

For me, as a white woman, this book is very helpful because I would like to think I am an ally to all those that are oppressed in this current society. As I read through the issues Andre has had through his life because of the color of his skin, and specifically all the issues he has had with white people who THINK they're helping, this book has helped me reflect on what I am doing everyday to help, and what I am potentially doing that i THINK is helping, but actually hinders.

In some of the friends he couldn't keep I have seen past versions of myself...versions I have left behind but never realized just how detrimental those versions could be. This book is a perfect example of showing others how someone else lives their life daily, how serious issues that some of us might never experience can totally fuck up someone else's life on the regular. He is raw and honest with his emotions and hard on the points he makes...and with good reason!

I would recommend this book to EVERYONE. It is always good for us as humans to see the perspective from someone else's view, and this is a great text to read for inner reflection. We all have a part to play if we want true equality amongst each other (for this specific book equality amongst races) and I cannot suggest this enough!