This is a very up and down emotional read. It’s hard to put myself into the place of the narrator benches soem of the things that happen are so outrageously unbelievable. I felt so sorry for Helen and the way her mother treated her. There were so many wonderful things that happened in her life and her mother’s reactions to every single one of them were ridiculous.

I’m hoping that writing this book was therapeutic and helped her get over some of the trauma her mother caused. I think it was very courageous to write a book like this.

I would definitely recommend it for anyone who likes an eye popping memoir, it’s well written and I really enjoyed the audio..

Helen Naylor discovered her mother, Elinor, had been faking her debilitating illnesses for thirty years and ultimately died from her actions. After her death, Helen began reading her mother’s diaries and she uncovered how twisted her mother’s mind was as well as the truth behind events in her own past which showed extreme neglect.

The audio of this book was super powerful since Helen herself was reading it. Parts of it were hard to listen to because of the trauma Helen experienced throughout her life. It was a little slow to start and I would have loved to see more of the emotions she experienced as she uncovered the truth.

The author/narrator did such a good job of this audiobook. I found it to be a compelling listen. It is emotive and shocking because it’s difficult to comprehend both how the brain works with Munchausens, and how Naylor coped with the mental trauma.

A heartbreaking and raw account of decades of manipulation, abuse and lies. Helen attempts to piece together who her mother really was amongst the contradictions from all the versions she presented to different people, as well as her detailed diaries which provide a chilling insight into her mother's mind. A brave but uncomfortable read, well narrated by the author.

I listened to My mother, Munchausens and me courtesy of Bookouture Audio and NetGalley, it was narrated by the author Helen Naylor.

I will preface my review by saying I do believe one can only truly know how things affect a person if one is the person.

As I was going through the book my persisting thought was ‘Me, me, me’. I felt the book was too descriptive and to me some parts just spoke of pettiness.
So what if the author’s mother wasn’t as trendy as some of the other mother’s.
I didn’t find myself having too much sympathy for the mother or the daughter.
I’m approx 20 years older than the author so maybe that skews my perception of her woes.

Thank you to @HelenNayls and @threadbooks_ for this advanced audio copy of My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me in return for an honest review.

Description 🔖

All mothers love their children and all mothers are good. Except for when they’re not and unfortunately for Helen Naylor, her mother was not good and did not do everything in her power to take care of her child.

Helen’s mother Elinor faked having chronic and debilitating illnesses for over thirty years. Up until ten years ago, Helen did not know they were fake and did all that she could to care for her mother even though she had a niggling feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

After Elinor passed away, Helen came into possession of her diaries and journals that spanned over fifty years. It was whilst reading these that Helen learnt that her childhood wasn’t quite as she remembered and that her mother had neglected and damaged her. This book is a telling of Helen unravelling the truth about her mother and herself.

General Thoughts 🤔

My goodness this book hit me right in the feels. I can only imagine how draining and yet empowering it must have been to write this memoir. Anyone that decides to write about their own life and difficult experiences is extremely brave in my opinion and I think that this author definitely falls into that camp.

I liked how the book went from Helen’s childhood, through to her adulthood and then looped back around to her childhood. I think all of us wear rose tinted glasses as children and genuinely think that our parents can do no wrong. It’s only as we turn into adults that sometimes we can look back and realise that we’re all human and parents make mistakes too. Elinor made some pretty big ones and I found it really interesting that it was only reading her diaries and journals that resurfaced some of those for Helen.

I massively sympathise with Helen and the decisions she must have had to face during her adulthood. As she progressed through life and started her own family, her mother regressed and went to bigger extremes to try and keep the attention focused on her. Helen was often in a “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” situation. If in the same position, I predict that I would have felt very conscious about how my decisions would have looked to other people. If I were to prioritise my own children, then I look like I’m abandoning my mother. If I were to prioritise my mother, then will my children ultimately suffer?

Writing Style ✍️

I really liked that the author didn’t just write her own version of events, thoughts and feelings, but she included excerpts from her mother’s diaries and journals. They were inserted at the perfect moments and gave valuable insight into how Elinor’s mind worked. After reading the book, I’d be interested in reading more, but also appreciate that these are private and Helen Naylor may not want to share more than she already has. I’d also be interested to hear more from the perspective of some of Elinor’s friends that featured heavily in the book and played a large part in Elinor’s and Helen’s lives.

I listened to the audio book which was narrated by the author Helen Naylor which I personally think is a must for a memoir. There were parts where I could hear the emotion in Helen’s voice which broke my heart, listening to her go back to some of the most painful moments of her life.

Conclusion & Scoring 🎖️

I found this book heart breaking but I also found it quite inspiring. I think Helen Naylor is extremely brave to come out and share her story. If it means that just one person can recognise some of the behaviours in someone close to them, then it is one person that can be helped. I very much hope that writing this memoir was a cathartic experience for Helen and wish her all the best for the future.

I have heard quite a bit about Munchausen's by Proxy over the years, but not much about Munchausen's itself. In this memoir by Helen Naylor, we learn how her mother's decades of fake illnesses finally led to her death, and how this all had a devastating effect on Helen.

Elinor's illnesses were self-manufactured. But she kept diaries. Dozens and dozens of them over the course of fifty years. As Helen begins reading these diaries she learns so much about her mother, but even about herself as well.

Helen's life was tragic. Her mother was always ill in bed, leaving Helen to fend for herself for days at a time. This was when she was a young child. As a teenager, things became much worse for Helen. As an adult, Helen began reading these diaries and is more than determined never to ever become like her mother. She also learns what love is and how it is an unbreakable bond, even as she survived a tragic past.

I had this book review in audiobook format, and it was narrated by the author. Listening to this book had quite an impact on me. This was no easy book to read or listen to, especially because things were so tragic. Sometimes Helen read the journal entries in order, sometimes randomnly. In either case, they were more than disturbing. Now Helen herself is a mother, and she wants never to repeat her mother's mistakes. More than that, as a reader I often felt as if I were absorbing the same words that Helen was reading, and wondering what it would have been like to be in her shoes, especially when she was a child.

Many thanks to Thread and to NetGalley for this ARC for review. This is my honest opinion.

𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨!

My emotions were all over the place after reading this story, it was heartbreaking and difficult to read at times but at the same time it was unputdownable. If you are looking for more reading options for nonfictionnovember you need to add this one to your list.

Thank you NetGalley, Thread and Helen Naylor for this ALC.

𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦: 𝘔𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘪𝘳𝘴, 𝘕𝘰𝘯 𝘍𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘔𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴.

https://www.instagram.com/booksandcoffeemx/

My thanks to Thread Books for a review copy via NetGalley of the unabridged audiobook edition of ‘My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me’ by Helen Naylor in exchange for an honest review. The audiobook is read by the author.

As the title indicates this is a memoir focusing on Helen Naylor’s troubled relationship with her mother, Elinor. Ten years ago Helen discovered that her mother had been faking debilitating illnesses for thirty years.

Then after Elinor’s death, Helen found the diaries that she had been writing daily for fifty-five years. Having these allowed Helen to do a “psychological autopsy” and as she writes: “as I unravelled my mother, I unravelled myself.” Throughout the text she includes excerpts from these diaries.

While I don’t read many memoirs, I was drawn by the title as the phenomena of Münchausen Syndrome along with its related ‘by proxy’ seems so inexplicable.

I am sure many readers will relate to having to deal with relations or friends who seek attention by constantly going on about their ‘aliments’ though this was a completely different level in which someone is actually falsifying symptoms.

I will admit that it took me a little while to get into this book. Yet it wasn’t long until I was caught up in Helen’s account and read it in a single day. At some points I had to remind myself that I wasn’t reading fiction but someone’s real life experiences.

Elinor’s bullying, body shaming, and manipulation of Helen at times made for uncomfortable reading and throughout I felt compassion for Helen and her family.

With respect to the audiobook, this was such a raw, personal account that it felt very appropriate for Helen Naylor to read it herself, though I am certain that it wasn’t easy for her.

I was pleased that in her letter to readers, that she included details of organisations and resources to assist those effected by these issues.

Overall, I found myself moved by this memoir and felt that Helen Naylor was very brave in sharing her experiences.

I requested this book because, admittedly, I'm a biographies/true stories freak and I have to say I wasn't disappointed.
I found the story of Helen and Elinor's relationship disturbing yet emotional and the way the whole situation was treated by health care and institutions made me very angry.
The author is also the narrator in the audiobook and she makes a very good job in my opinion, I loved hearing the story from her own voice.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an arc in exchange for an honest review.

MY MOTHER, MUNCHAUSENS AND ME 📚
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There was a time when I loved my mother. It's shocking to imply that I stopped loving my mum because mothers always love their children and always do their best for them. Mothers are supposed to be good. But my mother wasn 't good. Ten years ago, Helen Naylor discovered her mother, Elinor, had been faking debilitating illnesses for thirty years. After Elinor's self-induced death, Helen found her diaries, which Elinor wrote daily for over fifty years. The diaries reveal not only the inner workings of Elinor's twisted mind and self-delusion, but also shocking revelations about Helen's childhood. Everything Helen knew about herself and her upbringing was founded on a lie. The unexplained accidents and days spent entirely on her own as a little girl, imagining herself climbing into the loft and disappearing into a different world, tell a story of neglect. As a teenager, her mother's advice to Helen on her body and mental health speaks of dangerous manipulation. With Elinor's behaviour becoming increasingly destructive, and Helen now herself a mother, she was left with a stark choice: to collude with Elinor's lies or be accused of abandoning her. My Mother, Munchausen's and Me is a heart-breaking, honest and brave account of a daughter unravelling the truth about her mother and herself. It's a story of a stolen childhood, mental illness, and the redemptive power of breaking a complex and toxic bond.
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I listened to this as an audiobook. I really love memoirs so was excited to give it a go. It took me a few car journeys to get into it but it wasn’t long before it had my full attention. My heart ached for Helen as she seemed like such a lovely genuine person who would deep anything for anyone. She had to make some awful decisions and for years lived with undeserved guilt. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and would recommend. It’s eye opening, thought provoking and well written! 👏🏽
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Many thanks to NetGalley and Thread Books for gifting me both a digital and audiobook ARC of this true story by Helen Naylor - 4 stars!

Helen grew up in a dysfunctional family - both her parents were always ill and she suffered neglect as a result. However, as she grew up, it started to become clear that her mother was making up her illnesses to get attention. While never diagnosed, she had Munchausen's and was a narcissist. It was difficult for Helen to be a good daughter to her mother when her mother was obviously not a good mother and she suffered much guilt and blame by others. In addition, her mother resented any attention Helen showed to her own family instead of towards her, causing more guilt and blame. The audiobook was narrated by the author, which added a layer of truth and sadness to the story.

While I have read many stories of Munchausen's by proxy (where an adult harms a child to get attention), this is the first account I've read of someone suffering themselves and how it affected the entire family. It was heartbreaking that Helen's dad and the many, many physicians her mother went to never supported Helen or got psychiatric help for her mother. I would hope that today we would be more aware but these people are also perfect manipulators. Hopefully writing this book was cathartic and will help Helen move forward with her life.

This memoir is a heartbreaking account of the impact of growing up with a parent with Münchausen syndrome. At times it was a little difficult to listen to, but this is what kept me hooked. I love that the author narrated it herself and I think she did an excellent job. I will definitely be revisiting this book again in the future, probably several times, hence my rating of 5 stars!

I listened to the audio version of this book. I find the narration very helpful in bringing the events in the book to life given that the narrator is also the author. I admire the tenacity of the author in enduring all her experiences.

Wow. I wasn't ready for this. What an incredibly sad story but also one of hope because Helen overcame so much. The narration was awesome and I can't recommend this book enough.

Before I review, thank you to Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a memoir of a person who dealt with her mother's chronic illness for many years, but later found out that there were massive patterns of lying and layers of childhood neglect that the author hadn't even been aware of at the time.

I listened to the audio version. I struggled with the narration on this one and ended up abandoning before I finished it. I normally wouldn't rate a book I didn't finish more than two stars, however, I think had I not had issues with the narration, I probably would have carried on to the end and given it a 3 star rating. I don't tend to read books like this in print, so I won't return to it, but others may enjoy it. I would recommend giving the print/ebook version a try over the audio if this book interests you.

Reading a good memoir allows you to effortlessly and somewhat harmlessly experience anothers perspective and reality.

Really good ones (to me) allow for an arc. Similar to a character arc in fiction, arcs in #nonfiction express an evolutionary process.

A beginning, an integrated variable, a recourse or due course, and an ending hopefully at the other end of the rainbow.

When it gets muddy is when a memoir discusses in great depth someone elses story without an allowance for that other person to speak their own narrative.

This book, MY MOTHER, MUNCHAUSEN AND ME by Helen Naylor, might cross that inperceptable line a few times.

This memoir is a personal accounting of someone elses struggles with lifelong mental health issues. Including Munchausens syndrome but undoubtedly included many other overlapping psychological disorders.

A lot of the book is a discussion (with the use of personal diaries to show proof) on truth. It's very loud scream on the authors part (I think) to be heard, validated, affirmed and recognized for the enduring they've done.

I would've liked lot more talk on how this tug-of-war of emotions, constant push and pull of needing and wanting and loving and giving, along with a voracious amount of gaslighting.

I would’ve liked more talk on how it affected her in her life, with her children, friends and interpersonal relationships.

As far as I can tell upon finishing the book is that the author is aghast at how she was continually treated yet somehow came out of the whole thing unscathed with a loving partnership without any mention of the amount of work that presumably would be needed to end such a devastating family cycle.

Maybe that will be included in a follow-up.

Overall, this was a good and super interesting read. I’m v glad to understand more about MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME, it’s intricacies and damage it can cause if left unnoticed and untreated.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with mental health, please reach out!

1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

Thanks to @netgalley and #threadbooks for this advanced copy!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher Thread for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a really interesting memoir describing life with a mother experiencing munchausens syndrome. Helen offers a really great insight into the illness and the effect it had on her life and the relationship between herself and her mother.

While at times parts of the book seemed repetitive I think this is due to the repetitive nature of her mothers behaviours and beliefs. Although I really enjoyed this book I would have liked more. There was a real lack of depth throughout making the book nearly too descriptive at times. I think an insight into the relationship between Helen’s mother and father and the effect if any munchausens had on their relationship and similarly the relationship Helen had with her father would have provided this book with more depth. Unfortunately the lack of depth and emotion made me feel like I was reading a essay rather then a memoir.

I listened to this as an audiobook and it is read by the author who did an amazing job. All in all this won’t make my favourites list but it is definitely worth a read. A solid 3 stars.

Such an interesting topic. Listening to this book felt surreal. Like how can this be something that happens? I was constantly frustrated, but I think that's exactly what Helen was trying to show, the frustration behind the journey.
I thought it was really interesting how for Helen this was just a part of life. For her living through it, everything was her fault, she was the problem. As frustrated as she was with her mom and as much as she felt there was something wrong, she couldn't see the other side.
I know that the her mom's diaries is what drove the book, however I felt they really didn't add or drive anything in the story until the end. I wish they had been tied in or explained better throughout the book because they really offered little insight and felt disconnected.
The reason I only gave 3 stars is that although a great and clearly personal story, if Munchausen was not mentioned in the title I think I would have just been very annoyed with Helen giving into her mom. It seemed so obvious that her mom was just a narcissist and the fact that Helen just fell for it felt off. Also, as mentioned, the diary excerpt didn't seem to provide an insight to what was happening until they were used more in the end. I would have removed them completely during and just left them till the end for the "reveal" or explained and used them more throughout to offer a deeper insight into Elinor's mind.

Thank you NetGalley for the arc in exchange for a review.

#mymothermunchausensandme by #helennaylor published by @threadbooks was a recent read of mine via @Netgalley audio. This was a memoir by Helen about living with a mother with #munchausensyndrome. Usually when you hear of this its the by proxy type -
mothers who hurt or sicken their children for attention, and Helen's mother seemed to have a touch of that as well, but mainly, she lived her life convinced and convincing others that she had an extreme and hard to prove or disprove diagnosis of something like fibromyalgia. She would stay in bed for hours and hours often neglecting Helen and letting her fend for herself, yet could flip right out of her sickness if she wanted to do something. For more than a decade noone understood or questioned Helen not even her husband who legit had a heart problem. This story got under my skin i dont know how Helen dealt with it especially as an adult when miraculously her mothers prior condition all but disappeared due to her self diagnosed parkinsons, which was proven later to not be true. There are some hard realities of healthcare in here - how its often so difficult to get someone mental health care when they are in denial or have mental instabilities. Her mother basically wasted her life creating illnesses tor herself that just werent there. This book made me very paranoid about expressing my own aches and pains and worries to my child - do I do it for attention? Damn its scary to read when you see a tinge of it in yourself or your family. My mother from her late 50s on was what I interpreted at sickly. She had diabetes and as it turns out had a series of mini-strokes that by her late 70s left her with vascular dementia, so by no means was she NOT ill, but when she was younger, I do recall her sleeping alot during the day and saying she felt sick alot. Some of that i think was for attention, i dunno, maybe it was partly depression? But either way, how one perceives their health can be more damaging than actual disease. This comes out the 25th, it was riveting, give it a listen or read!! Thank you @threadbooks !!