Helen Naylor is the author and the victim and lived with a mentally ill woman in her family, her mother, and we journey through her life with her words. As children we accept what we have, our parents are our parents, no matter what happens.
We travel with Helen as she tries to have a life in spite of her mother, and repeatedly tries to help for her, will anyone listen before it’s too late?
This is a true story, that made me wish it was fiction, as we are walking in Helen’s shoes, and hoping all along for a change.
Keep reading there are surprises revealed, and we wish Elinor would have had help, maybe as a child!
This a read that will linger and show how a person with Munchausen syndrome acts, and hope that maybe this will help save another individual.

I received this audiobook through Net Galley and the Publisher Thread Books, and was not required to give a positive review.

My Mother, Munchausen, and Me by Helen Naylor
4/5 Stars

I went into this story with a basic understanding of Munchausens and how it affects those around them. I believe, now firmly, my paternal grandmother suffered from the syndrome.

Helen’s mother has died and as she’s reading though her mother’s diaries, she realizes her mother wasn’t who she thought she was. Towards the end of her mother’s life, she realizes her mother has been faking illnesses for years in order to keep the spotlight on herself. To the neglect of Helen and her father, who truly had a debilitating disease. Helen spends her adult life making excuses for her mother and questioning why her mother isn’t like the the others she interacts with. She wants nothing more than to be enough for her mom and to have a relationship with her.

If you liked other non-fiction memoirs like: Educated, Hillbilly Elegy, and The Glass Castle, then this book is for you.

I rounded down to 3.5 from 4 stars because I (personally) felt that it took Helen too long to cut ties and put up boundaries with her mother. This led to a lot of annoyance by me at the author for aiding and embedding. But I also understand how difficult it is to cut off family - so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

An advanced copy of this non-fiction book was given to me by @netgalley and @threadbooks!

In this book, Helen recounts her experience from childhood through her adulthood up to the present day of living with what she long thought were two chronically ill and disabled parents. While her father's condition was genuine, her mother's was not- or at least, the one she claimed to have wasn't. Her mother, Ellie, claimed to have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, more commonly referred to as ME. (Calling it ME threw me for a loop at first, as ME is also the acronym for Megaesophagus, a condition my corgi has.)

While ME is a real diagnosis, it is poorly understood and can have very few distinct, visible symptoms. This made it a convenient label for Ellie to latch on to, as it was more or less impossible for doctors to refute her claims without potentially neglecting a suffering patient. Ellie more or less made the condition her whole identity, centering the family's existence around her fabricated needs even when they came into conflict with her husband's actual ones.
In reality, her behavior was highly inconsistent and it would not have been difficult to see after a while of observing her day-to-day that she wasn't actually ill. Through gaslighting, acting, and manipulation tactics, Ellie was able to convince those around her of her pitiful state, or at least compel them to behave as though they truly believed it. Those that didn't buy into the act were generally cut out of her life anyways. She even played an active role in a local ME support community.

It's not hard to see how a child growing up in this environment wouldn't question the version of reality she'd been presented for her entire life, even in spite of the often bizarre behavior, transparent deceit, and the physical and emotional abuse she endured from her parents. Unfortunately, Helen developed intense depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder as a consequence of growing up in this warped and toxic environment.
As the title notes, Helen's mother actually had Munchausen's Syndrome. I'm not sure if it would be accurate to say she suffered from it, as "syndrome" is not synonymous with "disease." A syndrome is simply a notable constellation of behaviors or symptoms that frequently occur together in the same people. While many syndromes are due to physical and neurological causes, Munchausen's is not so straightforward.
People with Munchausen's deliberately and knowingly fake health problems- often severe, multitudinous, and even terminal- and obsess over them as a means to obtain attention and control over others.

Helen didn't fully come to this realization until she had already suffered decades of her mother's elaborate charade and generally spiteful treatment. While it isn't pleasant to hear the obvious pain this inflicted on Helen, as well as on her own family later on, it is encouraging to see how she managed to prevent a cycle of abuse through the difficult work of establishing boundaries and processing a lifetime of emotional trauma. In the end, it is an encouraging story of Helen's own resilience.
I think anyone with an interest in psychology or in the dynamics of abusive realtionships would find this to be an engrossing read.
I will note that as was alluded to earlier, this book involves some sensitive topics: notably suicidal attempt and ideation, self-harm, eating disorders, and general childhood neglect/abuse.

I listened to this an audiobook. Take my review of this aspect of it with a grain of salt as I am a print reader 95% of the time; I typically don't process information as easily or as thoroughly this way. (I had actually intended to read it in print, but I sent in the wrong request to NetGalley.)
As far as audiobooks go, though, this was one of the easier ones for me to digest. I think the narrator was fairly pleasant to listen to, and I often find narrators' style of speaking , especially where dialogue is involved, to be grating and artificial. I listened to it on 1.25x speed and went through it in a day while running errands, doing chores, and working on some hands-on projects at home.

This was a completely fascinating and heartbreaking memoir of Helen Naylor whose mother has Munchausen's. It's a truly tragic story, beautifully told and narrated by Helen.

Thank you to NetGalley for a free eARC copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.

This book is fascinating. Even during grad school, Munchausen's wasn't talked about, but Munchausen's by Proxy was covered extensively. Helen's dive into her life and how it was shaped by her mum's mental health is written incredibly well. I loved having the author read the audiobook-- for books like this, connecting the author's voice to her story adds quite a bit to the overall experience.

As an educator, I would suggest to undergraduate levels for psych, sociology, criminology (CPS/family service-related). Additionally, it would be a great book for graduate students in the same fields.

I would have loved to have heard more on her mother, and dealing with munchausen. When o stared listing to this. I thought of rose gypsy. There sould be more awareness to munchausen because there are people out there who suffer from this and need help, but don't get it untill its too late...

Wow. This story. I've really only heard of Munchausen's Syndrome in the terms of a parent inflicting illness onto a child. This is the first time I've heard a story of someone whose focus is on themselves. This story, read by the author herself, gives us a glimpse into the world of those affected by someone with Munchausen's. In this case, it was her mother. The drama this causes. The tension and codependence. The not feeling as if you can talk to other loved ones about it because they might not believe you or worse, they'll think you're an awful daughter for even questioning it. I'm grateful to the author for her honesty and sharing her story with us. The gift she had in her mother's journals in being able to see her mother's life through her mother's eyes. I recommend this book highly.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of the audio book in exchange for my honest review.

What a brave and insightful novel written by Helen Naylor. The author gives us a detailed and first hand journey about living with someone who suffers from Munchausen's and Narcissistic disorder. There were so many times I felt sad for Helen as she grew up with such an emotionally abusive and manipulative person! I wanted to tell her to cut all ties with this person, but of course, it's her mother so she gave her many chances. I have never known anyone with this mental illness so it was fascinating to listen to Helen’s account of what her mother put her and everyone around her through. This book also shows how medicine is not 1 size fits all, and that we need health advocates who truly care about what is going on with our bodies and not just quick to prescribe a medicine to get someone out of their office. Very well written and interesting. I was able to listen to the audio version which was read by the author and she did a fantastic job.

***ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley.co.uk in return for an honest review ***

Helen's mother has been ill throughout Helen's entire life. Firstly with ME and then later with early onset Parkinsons disease. These illnesses have been a central focus of family life for as long as she can remember. With two disabled parent's Helen became a carer for them at a very young age. As the years pass, she loses her father and her mother becomes more ill, Helen has to deal with increasingly erratic behaviour from her mother and her worsening symptoms but she is an only child, her mother's only real family and her mother wouldn't lie about being ill...

This biographical memoir is a fascinating insight into the abusive relationship between a mother and her daughter. It made for incredibly sad and emotional reading. As an only child myself I dont know how Helen could have dealt with their relationship differently. I found myself getting so frustrated and angry at her mother for the emotional trauma that she inflicts.

This is a well written, informative, emotional and incredibly sad recount of an extraordinary situation. I found myself to be very empathetic to Helen's story. I would absolutely recommend this book/audiobook to anyone.

It feels almost wrong to say I enjoyed this book. I basically devoured it, despite its heavy content. Ultimately, I was left feeling that Helen Naylor did not write this book to be widely read or applauded and congratulated; she wrote it for herself.

My Mother, Munchausen's and Me is a therapeutic reclamation of the narrative of Naylor's life. Naylor untangles childhood memory and life milestones from the manipulative lies of her mother. If you were expecting a deep-dive into Munchausen's as a condition - you'll be disappointed. While Munchausen's is fascinating, and undoubtedly what Naylor's mother displayed, she was never formally diagnosed. I imagine Naylor would've preferred to use Narcissist in the title but I don't blame the Munchausen's use; its far catchier and is what attracted me to the book.

I would've enjoyed more comparisons between Eleanor's diaries and real accounts, it would've further driven home the point Naylor clearly makes. Naylor touches on comparisons between herself and her mother towards the end of the novel (I had wondered about her thoughts on this after hearing about Naylor's diagnosis of ME) - I wish this would've gone further, it's dark and definitely painful but would've been incredible insight. Further, insight from a (potential?) relationship with Naylor's estranged aunt would've really taken the narrative full circle. However, it is difficult to add these as criticisms as Naylor clearly went though emotional hell in writing this book. I hope it helped her find some peace.

What an incredibly raw and intimate story of family relationships, trauma and mental illness. This memoir reads like a Lifetime movie which makes the fact that it's a true story all the more horrifying. I have always been fascinated by Munchausen's and Munchausen's by Proxy. After listening to this book, I feel that I learned a lot about the behaviors and actions of someone with Munchausen's that have not been a part of the Hollywood "glamorization" of this illness. Helen Naylor's strength and resilience is evident in each chapter. I highly recommend this one, especially as an audiobook to hear the story in the author's own voice.

This book was a little bit disturbing, a little bit stressful, and a whole lot of absolutely fascinating!!!! While Munchausens disorder, is not unheard of finding a memoir written around the disorder is a little more unique.

I loved how the author shared her experiences juxtaposition with her Mother journal entries . Acknowledging how unreliable her own memories and life experiences can be based on the way she was raised and they influence her mothers. medical condition had on her.

An interesting, first have account of the life long effects others illnesses can play on a person.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Four stars for this insightful memoir with a PG rating

In many ways, this was a hard book to read (or, listen to, as would be more accurate), but in other ways, it wasn't. I'm very conflicted about this book. I understand that the writer's mother had a horrible disease and that it caused grief to her whole family, but... at the same time, I found the writer to be an unsympathetic "character."

I say "character" because this is a memoir, so she's actually a person, but still... She presented very few instances of anything in her childhood that would be considered abuse or neglect. I mean, yes, the mother was lazy and took advantage and put waaaaaaay too much of a burden on a child, but... I don't know.

I feel like the writer was trying to make her situation sound worse than it was. And she, herself, touches on this in the book, saying something similar - that she didn't feel right saying she was abused. However, it seems like that's how she wants you to view her - as an abused child with a horrible, dreadful childhood.

I didn't really hear that in this book. It didn't seem like things got bad with her mom until she (the author) was an adult. I don't know....

I finished this book days ago, and normally when I finish a Netgalley book, I come straight here to review it, but I'm just so... torn with this one.

I don't know if I liked it.
I don't know if I disliked it.
I don't know if I like the writer.
I don't know if I dislike the writer.

It's a confusing book - or at least, it left me confused in my feelings. However, that's not to say it was bad. It wasn't. It was an interesting read. I'd give it a solid three stars just for the chronicling of Munchausen's. I just don't know how I felt about the book.

I hate that writer lost her relationship to her mom. I hate that things took such a terrible turn for the worse as they both grew older. But I don't know how I feel about what I read. (I know; I've said that two dozen times already. I'm sorry.)

My advice to someone considering reading this would be do it. It's very interesting to read a firsthand account of this disease, and the pacing and narration style are such that the book doesn't drag or feel like a slow, boring lecture on a subject you're not interested in learning.

If you're specifically interested in the mind and psychological, mental, and emotional disorders, you'll especially appreciate this book.

So yes, even if I can't tell you how I feel about the book, I can tell you that I come down firmly on the side of giving it a chance before dismissing it. Any book that can leave me feeling so conflicted is worth a read in my opinion.

This book was absolutely amazing. I was hooked from the first page! I’m super interested in Munchausens disorder, and it was enthralling to read about the author’s experience. As a child of narcissistic parents myself, this gave so many insights and relatable experiences. The excerpts from the diaries sprinkled throughout were so interesting. I was at times angry, sad, and disturbed. This is such a good book!

This was a really incredible read. I'm always so fascinated to hear about experiences with people such as Elinor and I really felt for Helen and the pain and anguish she had to live through because of her mothers manipulation. Having the audio book narrated by Helen herself was a really nice touch and I felt that it made me connect all the more hearing the story told by her.
I do wish there were more excerpts of Elinor's diary entries just to further display the inner workings of her mind but overall I really enjoyed listening to this book.

I was torn with this book between pity for the author and the silent abuse she suffered and a sense of getting tired of her poor me whining which permeated many chapters.

This is a tale of a you g woman growing up in a dysfunctional family and the tale of what happened during her childhood and early adulthood.

There were truly compelling parts of the story and other parts that just felt like whining.

Not a horrible book yet not the most compelling memoir.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing access to a review copy.

Thank you Netgalley for this audiobook edition of My Mother, Munchausen's and Me by Helen Naylor.

This is a true account by the author, depicting life with her narcissistic mother who suffers from Munchausen.

I've read and learned a lot about Munchausen by proxy, which is it's own kind of hell, but I don't think I've read much about JUST Munchausen, and the devastating effects it still has on the afflicted, and those around them.

I'll be honest, when I first started reading the book, I was asking myself whether this was actually a story worth telling. Her mom seemed a bit prone to dramatics, and a touch of hypochondria, but I wasn't seeing any severe symptoms of Munchausen's. But once Helen becomes an adult and begins having children of her own is when her mom really starts ramping up.

I found this story fascinating, how Munchausen's and narcissism went so hand in hand. I also appreciated addressing what her mother put her through as abuse. We usually think of abuse as violent and/or neglectful. But in this case, her mother made her daughter dismiss her own needs in order to take care of her. It definitely opened the door to some very interesting discussions.

Very well written, full of honesty and raw emotion, I got a lot out of this book.

I requested this book because I'd like to know more about Munchausen's and narcissistic personality disorder. While I didn't learn much about the science behind these disorders, I did fully relate to some of the author's suffering and frustration. The book is the author's cathartic memoir of pain and healing. I understand her fear of repeating her mother's behaviors with her own child. While some may see the book as a depiction of self-pity, i saw it as an exercise in journalling extreme hurt. While I feel like someone who has not experienced this type of behavior first hand may not understand the purpose of the book, I would still recommend this book as a depiction of what a narcissistic, hypochondriac mother looks like and what kind of effect they have on their children.

Recommended for children of narcissistic parents.

3.5 Stars I have to be really careful here as this is a memoir so reviewing someone's lived experience isn't easy. That said I really was invested in this story because I have my own personal experience living with someone with some level of NPD even undiagnosed. But this is far and beyond that. The way Elinor acted at times was terrifying. But I wanted much more of an insight into the condition. Her diary entries were eventually quite enlightening, but...wow, it's rough out here when doctors don't talk to each other and they often view mental illness in women, especially grown woman with such disdain. This just didn't go "there" as often as I wanted which seems a bit cold, but I think this condition doesn't nearly get enough publicity as it's by proxy cousin. Thank you to Thread audio and Netgalley for providing an early audio copy for me to review. All opinions are my own.

It never fails to shock me how narcissistic people can be, but this woman takes things to a whole other level. This is the authors account of a turbulent childhood with a mother who was critical and mean for no apparent reason. As an adult, her mother made life difficult in all new ways, typically drawing away any attention that isn’t on her over to her, even the birth of her grandchildren were not enough to compete with her mothers non-illnesses that she creates in her head. It boggles me as well how long she was able to trick doctors and other health care workin order to get the medical care and attention that she sought. Her daughter eventually tired of her and kept away for over a year before she finally died and her mothers friends finally admitted that they knew her mother dramatized her problems. In finally burying her mother, she is able to set her life free
I had hoped for a more in depth look where this kind of stayed on the surface but it was an interesting look at this disease of the mind.
I did enjoy the narration, I’m not sure if it was the author herself, but I’m assuming it was and she definitely showed the necessary emotions that would go with this situation.
Thanks to Thread Books and Netgalley for this Arc in exchange for my review.