Breathe and Count Back from Ten follows a teenage daughter of Peruvian immigrants with hip dysplasia who navigates her disability and her struggle to be independent from her overbearing parents while secretly pursuing her dream of being a performing mermaid in a nearby tourist attraction. It is a fresh kind of coming-of-age story (taking place the summer before the main character Verónica’s senior year). In it, Sylvester effortlessly blends the story of an immigrant daughter with the story of disability into one elegant narrative of bodily autonomy and independence.

The narration is elegantly written and yet still accessible. It is incredibly evocative and emotional, sure to leave readers with all the feels. The cast of characters is simultaneously relatable, likable, and exasperating, all in a good way that pulls the reader along desperate to turn each new page. One small thing I liked was the definitions that start every chapter: the ‘official’ definition of some word and a definition from Verónica that helps the reader get into Verónica’s head and set the scene for each new chapter.

Just like the audience left in awe by the performing mermaids, I was left transfixed by the story Sylvester weaves together. At its core, Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a story about choice, and control over your own life. It’s a story that will hit home with the target teen demographic, but is sure to wring out emotions even from readers outside of that category. As soon as it comes out in May, I highly recommend giving it a read. You won’t be disappointed.

I cannot describe how beautifully written this book was! each character was so complex and and described so well, I felt like I had known each one for years. it was so easy to relate to any of the characters, but I found myself relating to Vero the most because of how she has always wanted to be “normal” and she wants her parents to see her as a human. she doesn’t want the attention from her parents if it’s just negative. another part of Vero’s Family is being immigrants from Peru, and this was so interesting to read about from a young girls perspective. I thought that both sides of Vero, being disabled and being an immigrant, was brought together so well. I really enjoyed this book, and I would definitely recommend it for people looking for stories about an immigrant, a disabled person, or just a teenage girl in general trying to find herself.

<i>I received this ARC thanks to the Publisher and NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.</i>

<b>"You really think I'd make it?
"Do you even have to ask?"
"I'm not ready."
"You were born ready."
"I was born a lot of things."</b>
<i> Breathe and count back from ten </i> was what Verónica's father always told her, when it all felt like too much. But what if the direct pressure comes exactly from ones parents? Verónica, soon to be senior at high school, was born what I wouldn't want to call different, but special. Hip Dysplasia, about which we learn a lot during the plot, has always been a part of her, but also that one part she feels the pressure to hide from everyone else, coming from the scars she kept of every surgery she had. Her only true world begins beneath the surface of water, where she happens to spend a lot of time thanks to her family moving to apartment complex with a pool.
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<b>"We were once dying stars."
"I like that. Their end was only our beginning"</b>
Ever since watching a <i> mermaid show </i> at local "Mermaid Cove", some sort of aqua park inspired by real place called <i> Weeki Wachee Springs </i> in Florida (where we're also happen to be set in this story) as a child, she dreamed big of becoming one of their mermaids performing. The thing is, fantasy can't be real when you're a part of Peruvian family that came a long way to live their lives in America. Expectations set high, how could one disappoint their hard working parent to dream of something other than becoming a doctor or a lawyer? Especially, when your permament injury tries to always bring you down, or better said, back to the ground surface.
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<b>"Stop. I don't want to get my hopes up."
"It's not illegal, you know. To want something."</b>
Verónica is greatly supported by her younger sister, a childhood friend, and that friend's older sister who happens to be a mermaid there herself. Together they try to bring her closer to where her desires are, but the constant fear of confronting her parents ain't helping. Her small clique expands the day janitor tells her to show their complex around to a newly arrived boy. Alex turns out to be the type of a sweetheart that this story desperately needed, especially after flashback of how previous relationship of Verónica's went, ruining her perspective and view of her own scars even more. I was craving a mermaid story from this book, but what I didn't expect and fell in love with was how Alex's character turned out to be deeper than expected. If only his... condition was explored more, I'd be even more in awe with how well the story explored of what it feels to be young but also bearing scars noone else could see and believe.
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<b><i>Who are you being strong for?</i>
Which was really <i> who are you enduring pain for? </i></b>
As the story continues and let us explore Verónica's conditoin and her view of the world, unexpected happens. Suddenly the Mermaid Cove has an open call for a replacement mermaid, as one of them got into accident. Verónica is hesitant at first, but her friends keep pullip her forward to where she always dreamed to be. But as you might've expect from already visualised setting, this story is more kind of a bittersweet one.

When I was diving in (pun intended) into this book, I was just craving a mermaid tale, and coming of age story -- what I got is a deep exploration of perception of ones body, and a story about how we have to step out of set boundaries, both by our family and body, to at least try to set foot into the deep ocean of the great unknown. It might seem sparkly and dreamy from afar, but what if we happen to find ourselves falling too deep? Definitely recommend this book for anyone who's cravings are close to mine, with a 4.5/5 stars rating.

𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘛𝘦𝘯 delves into the life of Peruvian-American teen Verónica, Vero for her loved ones, who struggles with hip dysplasia, as she explores the possibility of her longtime dream coming true, i.e. becoming a mermaid at her local theme park, which means going against the will of her parents all while testing the limits of her body and a little falling in love along the way.

Perfect for you, if you enjoy:

✓ Disney's 'The Little Mermaid' vibes
✓ Cute summer romance
✓ Disability rep
✓ Legends braided throughout the story

𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

Verónica is one of the most strong, determined and powerful characters I've ever read and I don't mean that exclusively with regard to her dysplasia but in general, i.e. right from standing up for herself even when she knew her choices didn't align with what her parents had in mind for her to her embracing her scars and striving to be accepted for who she was.

If I were to describe Vero's and Alex's romance in a few words they'd be: safe, relaxed, cozy.
Those are rarely words that come to mind when describing a relationship, it's often swoony, enchanting and intoxicating that roll through mind but not here, I mean don't get me wrong it is all of the above but it was also incorporated with a highly intimate, homely feeling which was very refreshing to read and left me all mushy and extremely happy for Vero, considering her previous experience with a boy. I also loved how neither character gave up who they were to try and satisfy the other instead they just accepted each other's flaws and traits and created a perfectly soft, heartwarming love story.

𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

In a highly empowering manner, 𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘛𝘦𝘯 balances complex immigrant family dynamics, a budding romance and what being disabled means as a teen.

In terms of the disability aspect of the story, I don't think I have any say as an able-bodied person but I personally feel that the author did a marvelous job of breaking down the stigma and stereotypes often surrounding a disabled person.

I was so glad there was intersectionality included, as in we not only got a very real and empowering disability representation but it was all depicted through a particular lens which gave way to discrimination and racism often faced by immigrants.

I will, however, say that I was quite skeptical atleast at the beginning, of the whole mermaid aspect because I thought it was more of a magical element making this book an urban fantasy of sorts but it wasn't anything like that I mean it was magic in a way, as in the viscerality of letting go of your insecurities and fears in the water to relive the pure joy of wanting to be a mermaid as a child or being seen for who you truly are as an almost adult reflected in the descriptions of every chapter where Verónica was at the Cove or even in the pool, where she felt the most at home, the fascination, the awe of being free in the water was present right from the first chapter.

𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

If I had to point out any shortcomings, I would probably say that this was a slight bit too slow paced for my liking.

And to anyone out there, who's ever dealt with a Jeremy Bradley, I'm truly sorry! I hope you emerged out of that situation safe.

Overall: I had a great time with this story and I think it's a great debut which gives some much needed insight into the disability community all which is closely intertwined with navigating family and first love dynamics.
This is one of the rarer books when I can say with all my heart that it was truly a privilege, rather an honour to read an arc of this masterpiece. 10/10 for that stunning cover btw.

It's out 5/10, hopefully you lot will enjoy it just as much as I did. peace <3

4.32 /5✩

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 & 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘐 𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 & 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘥. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯.

We follow Veonica, a Peruvian immigrant,who has had a life of swimming because of her hip dysplasia to her discovery of her control of herself (and body0 rather than her parents controlling her. Well written in her very realistic portrayal of her relationships with parents, sibling, friends and boyfriend, .Thoroughly enjoyed reading and the unique sideline of wanting to be a mermaid in Mermaid Cove.

This new novel from Natalia Sylvester was on my short list of most anticipated reads for 2022, and I was so thrilled to get an advanced copy that I abandoned my current reads to soak this one up. I was not disappointed! Part coming of age story, part romance, this book is a true gift to YA readers, with authentic Latinx disability rep and deep emotional resonance. And did I mention there are mermaids?

It is the summer before Verónica’s senior year of high school and she dreams of performing at the Mermaid Cove, an underwater tourist attraction in her Florida town. She had undergone numerous surgeries to manage her hip dysplasia, and swimming acts not only as a form of physical therapy but of respite and creative expression. Vero’s strict Peruvian parents, however, do not approve of her mermaid obsession, nor of Alex, the cute boy who has moved into their apartment complex. And when a doctor appointment reveals medical information that Verónica’s parents have been keeping from her, her world flips upside down.

“Breathe and Count Back from Ten” knocked me back when it opened with the dictionary’s definition of anesthesia (“a controlled, temporary loss of sensation or pain induced for medical purposes”), contrasted with the main character’s personal definition (“a dreamless state; a nothingness in which you have no control”). She then draws parallels between going under anesthesia and being underwater. Each chapter, in fact, begins with definitions of a significant word (sometimes English, sometimes Spanish) from Vero’s journal. I loved this device as a way to introduce each chapter because it gives the reader a unique point of entry into Verónica’s mind. And we get to explore the power of writing, as she re-defines words.

Dualities around autonomy and culture are beautifully woven through the entire novel and are especially highlighted in the scenes with Verónica’s parents. I loved the complex family dynamics and how each of the characters in the family were written with such specificity. I also appreciated how the bilingual dialogue was so fluid and how the author weaved both Inca and European mermaid stories into this novel. And all of the underwater scenes are written in such a detailed, evocative way!

I should add that I loved the romantic storyline for its sweetness and honesty but also appreciated that it was not the central focus of the novel. Alex (the love interest) enters her world with his own issues, which are discussed in an open and refreshing manner.

While this book is written for young people, I’d also highly recommend this book to parents of disabled and chronically ill children. There are so many elements of Verónica’s experience for me to reflect on and remember as my own child grows up. I was particularly struck by scenes that showed parent/child dynamics during medical appointments and as well as the passages that talked about early medical procedures that were vaguely discussed and information about Verónica’s body that was hidden from her. And I just about had to put down my book and clap when the author got into platitudes and the ever-pervasive “warrior” rhetoric. “I don’t want my scars to be seen as beautiful, or ugly, or strange or badass. I just want them to be allowed to be.”

In a word, phenomenal. I am so grateful for this beautiful book.

I was so excited to read this, mermaids in a not fantasy setting. I like the characters. The way they are described and how they fit into the story of this family. The way previous events still influenced the current time and current relationships made it so realistic.
At first I felt like the mermaid job was disappointing me a bit, but thankfully the story around it picked up and it became much better.
Verónica's parent were really killing me with their attitude, like they were actually making me angry.
Alex was so sweet and I love how he made the story not just about Verónica and the difficulties she was going through. Thr story showed that everyone is struggling with something.
Some parts of the book were a little too predictable to me though, that is why I gave it four stars.

I really enjoyed this book. The struggles of an immigrant teenager trying to fit into a world with over-protective parents and ongoing medical issues were so well described. The mermaid story was a delightful addition. Loved it.

Loved reading the disability rep (Verónica has hip dysplasia) and how it unpacked both pride and pain throughout the story. It really leant into the themes of body autonomy too, not just Verónica feeling like she had no choice with her medical treatments and decisions, but also in how her Peruvian immigrant parents didn't listen to her emotional needs and shamed her if she was ever around a boy, etc. It was very much a story about learning to listen to your body and trust yourself. And also live your mermaid dreams.

I wanted more from the romance though, since Alex was maybe in 1/4 of the book (I loved the chapter where he talked about his depression) and I hoped Verónica would also do some self-reflection on how she was solely focused on her problems and no one else's. Alex kind of bared his soul about the depression and the book was all like "good to know" and we never spoke of it again. Sir!! He supported her so wholly but it wasn't reciprocated. Verónica also shut down anyone who even suggested they struggled in life as well - it really was the oppression olympics with her, and while she at least apologised to Dani, I felt it would've been nice if at any point in the book Verónica had done something for someone else too.

6 reasons to read Breathe And Count Back From Ten!

A book about a girl with hip dysplasia, trying to deal with life with her disability, while also trying to manage her relationship parents, the new boy in her apartment building, and her dream of becoming a professional mermaid. It sounded like such an incredible coming of age story, with a tinge of romance, and I was very eager to see what I thought of it!

1. A fantastic main character - Verónica is trying to figure out who she is, and her place in the world. Her life doesn't look like what she wishes it so desperately it does. Her body is imperfect, her parents are too strict, and it feels as if she is stuck in a realm of not knowing enough about herself. Everything about her felt so strongly portrayed. She felt like a whole person. Messy, authentic, real. I fell in love with her.

2. OwnVoices disability rep - Verónica has hip dysplasia, as well as the author! I can't comment on this since I do not have it myself, but I really, really loved seeing Verónica navigate this portion of her life. It is a part of her, but it is not all of her. The conversations regarding her body and pain and scars were so, so incredible to see, and just downright wonderful.

3. Messy family relationships - Verónica struggles with her relationship with her parents. They are overprotective, and she yearns for more freedom. But there is such a current of love running underneath every action. They're trying to love each other, and they're trying to find a way to do that that works for everybody. I ended up loving all of them.

4. A weirdo sister - Dani was hilarious. I completely adored her, and I loved how she seemed to be her own, complete person as well. There were things she struggled with, and she felt so fully real because of it.

5. A sweet love interest - I did not think I would like Alex as much as I did. But, he's a guy who loves maps, struggles with depression but is working to manage it, and is so supportive of what Verónica wants to do.

6. Stories on stories - Creating your own story, finding your own story, learning what story you want to tell. This part of the book was so incredibly well written that it was breathtaking.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book! It had such strong characters, and felt incredibly authentic in everything that it did. It is a very good book.

The first thing that caught my eye was the cover, I thought it would be a fantasy which I’m a big fan of, but it is not. However, despite it not being a fantasy, I was not disappointed! The title is also intriguing, it poses questions for the reader from the start, why are they counting back from ten, who is counting back from ten?

The entire book was emotional. From the start I felt for Verónica as her parents are really strict, now I couldn’t relate to having very strict parents so the main character having strict parents made me mad at them. I hoped that them being strict and dislikeable characters was a great addition to the book though as it added more to the plot. They hid important information from Verónica – life changing information, things that would have changed the way she lives her life or wants to live her life. They want what is best for her but won’t let her be fully happy because they won’t let her chase her dreams.

The main character has hip dysplasia, and it was one of the most important factors in the book. The book revolves around Verónica and her hip, in my opinion this is important to have disability representation in books and this book does just that. Furthermore, it is based off the authors own hip dysplasia, the own voices aspect of this makes the book even better, knowing the author put so much of themself into the book.

Some of the things that happened prior to the beginning of the book make it even more interesting and we get to learn more about the characters.

There is one part in the book where ‘Florida Man’ is mentioned and it made me laugh because Florida Man headlines in news are always interesting to see, and because this book is based in Florida is made me laugh more.

I enjoyed seeing the characters relationships develop throughout the book, especially between Veró and Alex.

The ending is a bit ‘happily ever after’ but it still keeps you in a bit of mystery as to what is happening next? Despite this, I do think characters deserve happily ever afters, however knowing what challenges lie ahead for Verónica, is it really a happily ever after?

This was an emotional coming of age novel, with disability representation, young love and chasing your dreams and doing whatever it takes to reach them, and I am giving it 4 stars!

Wonderful addition to the YA Contemporary genre, with authentic representation for Peruvian culture and physical disability. Really glad to see this story being told, so that more people who identify with main character Verónica can relate and feel seen and less alone.

Oh wow, what a special book! I absolutely adored this. We follow Veronica as she becomes a performing mermaid and learns how to be a young adult. I learned about hip dysplasia, which I hope was well represented. The plot was compelling and it was just a really sweet and empowering young adult book. I will definitely read more by this author. I loved it.

On the surface, a mermaid book but with more digging, a book focusing on the importance of disability equality in society. A beautiful, heart breaking story.

*Thank you to Harper Collins,Natalia Sylvester and Netgalley for providing me with a E-ARC of "Breathe and Count Backwards From Ten" in exchange for an honest review *

Oh my gosh, I loved this! Not is this a book about Mermaid but disability representation as well! (Always excited to see it) Since the author shares Hip Dysplasia with Vera, I felt like it was very well explained so that people that aren't as familiar could understand. I also can appreciate that family dynamic as well, both of her parents putting pressure on Vera and not letting her be who she wants to be. Would definitely recommend this!

This was a real breath of fresh air.
Sylvester beautifully depicts so many things- with viscerally real descriptions of mental health, self-acceptance, found family, as well as self-discovery.
The clear love of swimming and the magic of the mermaids is so perfectly told it feels real, and is something new and distinctly summery that I love to see in YA.
Most strikingly for me, though, was how refreshing it felt to have a young female character who is not afraid to take what she wants. Who is not afraid of her own sexuality and desires, and despite her own upbringing, is not afraid of any shame or stigma. That, more than anything, is what stuck with me here.

(Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this eARC!)

“To this day, I don’t know how I didn’t scream. Maybe I was just used to it by then, this idea that pain is meant to be endured quietly.”

It’s so unbelievably rare to see illness and/or disability at the forefront of any stories, in any form of media, because disability is not desirable, only - to some, not all - pitiable.

Disabled representation is oftentimes forgotten on the sole basis that the world, or at least a large portion of it, aren’t willing to hear our voices or let our disabilities be a core part of the story, because they don’t want to see us as anything other than just our disability.

As a fellow disabled, OwnVoices (as of yet, unpublished) author, whenever I walk into reading a book about disability, I tend to find myself holding my breath. There are so very many things that could go wrong, and be done wrong.

Breathe and Count Back from Ten put my worries and fears about how the topic of disability would be handled to bed, tucked it in tightly and gave it a sweet kiss on the forehead.

To say it was good would be a criminal understatement. In all honesty, I don’t think there’s a strong enough word to express my profound, deep love for this book and the story within.

While I don’t have hip dysplasia, I do have chronic hip dislocations and subluxations that have affected my day-to-day living exponentially.

Much like Veroníca, my most problem hip is my left. When I went into this book, I really expected that our problem hips - and the fact that we both had hip issues in the first place - to be the only thing I felt truly, deeply connected to. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

There were several times that I felt knocked back, because it was as if I was reading something out of my diary.

It felt so raw, real and personal, a lot of the time, it didn’t feel like I was reading a book; that these people were only fictional - it felt like I was reading someone’s diary, watching it alongside them, seeing their lived experiences unfold before my very eyes, which is a total testament to Natalia Sylvester’s utterly beautiful and gripping writing and her own personal story with hip dysplasia.

Sylvester’s ability to capture the hardships and fear that comes with disability and chronic pain, while also framing a picture of the poignancy and beauty that can also come with it is nothing short of magical. It was as if someone walked into my head, took my thoughts and my feelings, then put them into a book.

Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a deeply profound love letter to the disabled community, and how beautifully written that letter is.

There wasn’t a single moment that I didn’t enjoy of this novel. I found myself holding my breath, laughing, smiling, crying. It was truly a joyous experience.

Suffice to say, I give it a 5/5 stars - and if I could give it more, I would. I have found a brand new addition to my favourite books list.

Thank you to Natalia and her publisher for allowing me the opportunity to read this book as an ARC in exchange for my honest review. Reading this book was a deeply moving, beautiful, endearing and personal experience that has helped me understand the feelings that I couldn’t quite comprehend in regards to my disabilities, and especially my hip problems. I feel very honoured to have been given the opportunity to read this book and have it touch me in the way that it has, so from the bottom of my heart: thank you.

Wonderfully diverse book filled with disability representation. The author made sure to stray away from harmful stereotypes in the disability community and focused on the authentic pieces.

On top of the disability representation the book centers around a main character who is the child of immigrants and the challenges that POC face.

Amazing book.

Have you dreamed of becoming a mermaid? Then, this book is for you! A Peruvian-American teen, Veronica, shares her experiences with hip dysplasia, finding herself, family life, and auditioning to be a professional mermaid! @NetGalley #TexasAuthors

A beautifully breathtaking coming of age story. Have you ever seen parts of yourself being reflected in a book? I am Peruvian, just like the main character, and seeing so much of my identity and culture reflected on pages as a main character brought tears to my eyes.

This story is about the desires and longings we have as first generation immigrants and the struggle of being bicultural and trying to be accepted. Like Veronica, sometimes we hold back what we truly want to do because sometimes those wants are not worth our parents sacrifices. There's this line we eventually have to draw because at some point we live for them and not ourselves. There is so much guilt sometimes in wanting what we want because our parents sacrificed so much and want more of us that we don't want to let them down. Natalia was able to capture this in a way that hooked me and didnt let me go.

The author drew from her experiences being born and living with hip dysplasia into this story. Veronica was born with hip dysplasia and throughout the book you see Veronica battle between what her parents want and what she wants and feels is right for her body. There are a few scenes in the book that also serve as a gentle call in.

Natalia also weaves in romance between Veronica and Alex that is so, so tender. I would love to read a book about Alex.

The Peruvian legend that Natalia incorporated into this book was fascinating. I hope you read up on it some more after you're done reading this book.

This was honestly an amazing read and will be one of my favorites for 2022.