Feyi is trying to find her way through her grief back into the world of dating after losing her husband in a car accident five years earlier. This is a romance, but the feelings of grief are woven throughout in such a beautiful way. This was the rare romance where until the very end, I really wasn't sure that Feyi was going to find her own happily ever after, when the man she had feelings for wasn't someone who would be easy for her life, but it all pulls together in the end. It's a romance unlike any other I've read.

!!!!

I am in awe of this author's scope. I loved Vivek, and I love Fool, and the two couldn't be more different. This is one where it's best to not know much going in- but I loved that the author went there. I was not expecting this love story... and yet, I could not put it down. I loved this couple and found myself surprisingly rooting for them. It's bittersweet and so lush in its setting and storytelling. They are an auto read author for me!!

Five years after the death of the love of her life, Feyi Adekola is trying to date again. A night at a party leads to a new romance with a perfect guy, and over the summer she gets invited to a tropical island where she meets a celebrity chef, his father, Alim Blake. Feyi develops feelings for Alim, who’s off limits, but as they bond; things become complicated. This is the first time in a long time she’s really felt alive, but is she willing to take a chance?

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty is a gripping story that explores grief, sexuality, and getting a second chance at love. This is the first book I’ve read by Akwaeke Emezi, and it has left me with a lot of different emotions. I love romance novels, but this is certainly not a traditional romance story. However, I enjoyed how Emezi captures that love and life itself can really be messy. This story also shows how grief is not a fluid process. Emezi takes us on a journey through Feyi’s life and experiences as she tries to take another chance at love. This story is raw, spicy, and descriptive. I felt like I could see everything through Feyi’s eyes. This beautiful cover, title, and way of words sucks you in from the start. Sometimes I did not like the vulgar language, which is the only thing keeping me from rating this book 5 stars. I’m looking forward to reading other books by Emezi.

Thank you to Net Galley and Atria Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A beautiful exploration of grief and learning to live again.

If you're looking for a traditional romance-this isn't it, but I loved Feyi's journey. Akwaeke Emezi's characters were vibrant and easy to root for. Their love was messy, but it worked for me anyway. Feyi's relationship with Joy was especially beautiful.

<i>Thank you Netgalley and Atria Books for an arc for an unbiased review.

I'm not a big Romance reader, but Akwake Emezi is an auto-read author for me so here we are. Long story short, this book is not for me. A lot of my issues with the story likely aren't author specific, but more of a genre thing that I'm not a fan of. Too much instalove, constant reminders of how attractive and perfect the main character Feyi is, etc. Joy, the best friend, was a standout and her relationship with Feyi was my favorite part of the book. The story involves a specific trope that I didn't like at all. There are no mentions of said trope in the book summary so it kinda caught me off guard and just... no. It made everyone so unlikeable and not in a fun way. Lots of selfish decisions that seemed out of character for those involved and I'm not sure what the point of some relationships in the book were? I do think this will be a hit with the right audience though, sadly just not my thing.

I've sat here, the minutes ticking by since I closed my kindle, waffling on how I feel about this book. Not just rating wise but overall feeling wise. This is going to be a polarizing book, I think.

After having fallen in love with THE DEATH OF VIVEK OJI last year, I've been on a mission to slowly devour everything this author has written. The fact that they flit between genres, and themes, and styles, is so interesting and at the announcement of a romance novel -- a romance novel with a <i>Florence + The Machine</i> lyric for a title -- had my attention. I mean, obviously I was sold. I wanted to see what they would do in this particular genre.

And for so much of it.. I was pretty into it. I enjoyed the voice (I make this distinction for a reason, I'll expand more in a bit) and I enjoyed the friendship between Feyi and Joy. Their conversations were mostly limited to their romantic endeavours with the occasional hype moment from Joy on Feyi's behalf but.. still, I felt the friendship, I felt the connection. But the romance? The various ones we follow? Welll..

I absolutely appreciate that Feyi, having survived what she did, and feeling like she's maybe in a place to dip her toe in romance again, would be hesitant for more than something physical. And I do feel like we saw some stepping stones out of her grief in the form of people but.. I don't know. This is where I get mixed. Because I can see it what the author did (or, rather, I think I see what they were doing), and understand it, but I can also not love it? I guess? In some ways it's brave and also real but..

Maybe it was the writing that hindered some of this. Because I'll tell you right now I didn't enjoy this writing the same way I've enjoyed the author's previous writing. I can't put my finger on what about it bothered me but something did.

Even without the romance drama, this book is messy. Grief is messy. Processing that, dealing with the concept of moving on, it's all a mess. Emotional and fraught. And then when combined with romance? Messier. Add in some.. complicated results with how things shake out with said romance? Chaos. There's a lot going on here. And there are times that Emezi has these beautiful notes, these little pauses of reflection, and they are just lovely. There are moments to be heard but also moments where the characters are listened to, and understood. But it's still also dramatic and a lot. Which is fine! If that's what you want.

I definitely see people loving this or.. maybe not hating it but being on the fence of it all. So while I'm taking the easy way out and not rating this.. it's probably a 3. So just imagine that instead of the nothing and let me remain in a state where I don't have to commit.

I will definitely continue to pick up titles by this author, as well as catch up on their backlist, but this wasn't quite the breakthrough hit I thought it would be. At least not for me.

That cover is absolutely stunning though isn't it? Gorgeous.

I am self proclaiming myself as an Akwaeke Emezi superfan. I've devoured and adored all their books and continue loving each new one. This book was quite different than the rest of Emezi's books, being a contemporary romance, but the impeccable writing and the way the emotions jump off the page were just what I expected from them, even though the content was new. The characters were fully formed and emotionally intelligent, and the imagery was lush! Themes are romance meets grief meets queer, Black joy, with a pinch of drama! Can't wait for this book to be released in May when y'all can get your hands on it too!!!!
🌿✨

2.5 Stars.

I think I was expecting too much going into this book. I really enjoyed her previous books and the writing style. This writing style was something completely different. It wasn't as lyrical and it seemed more relaxed. I didn't really connect to the main character and found myself wishing that the author would give more of her backstory so I could connect. I also did not like how certain issues were portrayed in the story. I found it problematic and frustrating. The romance was very "love at first sight" and I unfortunately didn't buy it. I have enjoyed Emezi's other works so this won't discourage me from picking up other books, but this one was not for me.

Trigger warnings: Age gap romance, cheating, death.

This book at it's core is about what it means to go through grief and accepting it will never be "over", A story about letting yourself live and love again. The friendship between Joy and Feyi was my absolute favorite part of this book. This book was very diverse in representation and culture. Most of the characters are Black, of various ethnic backgrounds, as well as a South Asian character and a lot of the characters represented he LGBTQ community. The author included the right amount of drama and humor to keep the reader hooked. I look forward to reading more from this author.

Romance. Passion. Grief. Sensuality. Art. Magic. Messiness. But most of all friendship and love. All these ingredients and more are in this wonderful story, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi. Feyi’s Journey to find love was heartbreaking, messy, relatable, very sexy and touching at the same time. The book really illustrated a realistic journey of grief after losing a loved one, especially a husband. I also like that the two romantic leads were also bisexual and the gorgeous descriptions of the story’s locations and food. This book is special to me because my mother died some years ago and Emezi’s beautiful and relatable writing made me feel in community about grief and trying to live a full live after your loved one is gone. Most of all, I loved how Joy and Feyi’s relationship was portrayed. It was beautiful to really see black women love on each other in that manner. I also think that even though the main romantic relationship was very messy in this book, it still gave me a true depiction of what real love is and what it feels like. My only criticism was that the book was a tad bit too drawn out and therefore too long. But in general, I highly recommend this romance if you want something fun and messy at the same time. Thank you @netgalley and @atriabooks for giving me an ARC of this wonderful story.

Emezi didn't have to go all in on a romance novel but they did and it is amazing! The characters are great and flawed. The story and the settings are real and fresh and original. The longing and attraction are thick and messy.

Feyi Adekola wants to learn how to be alive again.

It’s been five years since the accident that killed the love of her life and she’s almost a new person now—an artist with her own studio, and sharing a brownstone apartment with her ride-or-die best friend, Joy, who insists it’s time for Feyi to ease back into the dating scene. Feyi isn’t ready for anything serious, but a steamy encounter at a rooftop party cascades into a whirlwind summer she could have never imagined: a luxury trip to a tropical island, decadent meals in the glamorous home of a celebrity chef, and a major curator who wants to launch her art career.

She’s even started dating the perfect guy, but their new relationship might be sabotaged before it has a chance by the dangerous thrill Feyi feels every time she locks eyes with the one person in the house who is most definitely off-limits. This new life she asked for just got a lot more complicated, and Feyi must begin her search for real answers. Who is she ready to become? Can she release her past and honor her grief while still embracing her future? And, of course, there’s the biggest question of all—how far is she willing to go for a second chance at love?- Goodreads

This is my first book by Akwaeke Emezi. What made me pick up this book was the title. It is beautiful. It stops you in your tracks, makes you re-read it, and then it sticks with you. I could live off the title alone. However, the book was a rough one for me.

Let me first begin off by saying if you don't enjoy raw emotions, be it physical or mental, then this book is not for you. Someone had labeled this as smut as I wholeheartedly disagree. This book is an adult read about an adult doing adult things. If this makes you uncomfortable, don't pick up this book.

Moving along, I have to say that this read is heavy. It starts off heavy and none of that heaviness (at least for me) does not let up even at the end. In all honesty, I think that is the point. Grief doesn't go away. It just becomes a bit lighter as time goes on. However, my issue was less about the heaviness but more about Feyi.

I have conflicting feelings about her. You know how we constantly get on people about being with someone even though they don't their own feelings and they are trying to work out their own crap but still want to keep someone stringing along? That is Feyi and geeze she got so many passes for what she did. She wasn't heartless, she was lonely while still trying to hold onto her grief because you know survivor's remorse and other things. Feyi is complex and one moment I loved her; for her honesty, her witt, her creativity, and for the way she wore her grief with little apology but then the next moment, I wanted to fling the book against the wall. I didn't agree with her choices but that is fine because this is Feyi's story not mine.

The way the book was written is it felt like it could be a memoir. As complicated as it was, it felt real. The emotions surrounding this book, the characters around Feyi, all made sense and hit me on a level of rawness that I was not expecting. The book is written really well; almost poetic.

I liked this book. But after I finished reading I had to take a break. I had to process everything I read; it took some time.

Overall, I would read more works by this author.

3.5 Pickles

“She was hers; she was alive; there was so much to do.”

With YOU MAKE A FOOL OF DEATH WITH YOUR BEAUTY, Awkaeke Emezi takes on the romance genre and the forbidden romance trope and does so formidably.

After the death of her husband five years ago, Feyi is finally ready to re-enter the world of the living. She has become intimately acquainted with death and grief in all their monstrous forms. But she will learn that being alive is also monstrous and equally beautiful in all of its possibilities. A new friend and potential lover offers Feyi the chance of a lifetime: a tropical island vacation and a connection to the art scene there. No strings attached, just the opportunity to work and show her art in an international exhibit. All expenses paid. There’s just one catch: Feyi feels an instant and forbidden attraction to her island host, her friend’s father.

While the story takes the shape of a forbidden romance, the true romance is between Feyi and herself, between Feyi and being alive. And isn’t that the most forbidden romance? To be so alive and so awake to possibility that you embrace all that life offers: the terrible, the beautiful., and everything in between. Simply because you are alive. Feyi’s personal journey and her relationship with herself is what drew me to this book and what makes it triumphant, even though some of the plot and relationship elements aren’t my usual cup of tea. Feyi is a complicated woman who doesn’t always make the best choices, and she hurts people in those choices. Feyi’s actions have consequences, and the novel does not make light of that. Through those consequences, Emezi forges a new path in the romance genre: one where love still wins the day, but the lovers don’t get to ride off into the sunset.

This ARC was provided by Atria Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. YOU MAKE A FOOL OF DEATH WITH YOUR BEAUTY publishes on May 24, 2022.

I have mixed feelings about this book. The profanity and vulgar behavior turned me off. The direction the story took also left me with mixed feelings.

Feyi Adekola suffered a terrible loss five years ago when a car accident spared her but killed the love of her life. She is desperate to feel alive again. She is an artist and owns her own studio. She also shares an apartment with her best friend who is pushing her to date.

Feyi isn’t looking for anything long-term however, a chance meeting at a party sets in motion a series of events she could have never anticipated. Her new relationship with the picture perfect guy changes her life as she finds herself on a trip to a tropical island in the home of a famous chef. His connections to a big curator is just the career boost she needs.

Feyi finds her eyes wandering to the charming chef. This would jeopardize everything. She faces tough choices ahead as she discovers who is truly is, and what type of person she wants to be.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for my honest review.

Man, do I have a lot of mixed feelings about this one. I'll start by saying this is my first book by this author and it will most definitely not be my last. Their writing was beyond beautiful while still being easily digestible. It was just very impressive.

As for the story, I love that this wasn't a typical romance book. It didn't really follow a formula and never felt cheesy. The drama and emotions were amplified which I personally love. And I appreciated the themes of grief, of friendship, and expressing oneself through art.

Unfortunately there were just a couple things that really bugged me too - these might be personal preferences but I feel strongly about them.

First of all, I'm almost never a fan of insta-love - it just never feels real to me. Insta-attraction? sure! insta-I think I really like you already? Why not. But insta-I would destroy everything in my life for you and we'll be together for ever and ever and ever? NAH

Second, I will never ever be able to read 'sweetness' over and over as a term of endearment and not cringe....I'm sorry I just can't.

And finally, the grief angle. I can completely understand how someone who lost a spouse would find it easier to connect with someone dealing with similar trauma. BUT, I don't think it's reasonable to say that someone who didn't experience that trauma can't be there for you. I also feel like it might be unhealthy for people to start an intense relationship because they've been through similar tragedies.

So while I really loved the writing and many things about this book, I just wasn't on board with the main romance storyline. I just felt like there were red flags EVERYWHERE.

I'm still going to encourage people to read this one, as my opinions are exactly that. I will say the book made me feel A LOT of things, so that's always a plus.

Thank you Atria & Netgalley for the advanced copy - all opinions are my own!

4.5, rounded up-- This is my first time reading a book by Akwaeke Emezi, so I came into it with zero expectations (other than an immediate love for the title and cover), and I knew from the first page that I was going to enjoy this book.

I suspect this book will be polarizing, but I think any dislike of the book would have to be based on a reader's feelings about the subjects explored, the open-mindedness with which Emezi approaches the relationship that develops between Feyi and Alim, which extends acceptance and even justifies a morally questionable (if not outright despicable) pairing. What I don't think this book could be criticized for are the things that matter: the skill of the writer, the sense of a distinct point of view, the language used to convey emotion and explore philosophical questions. Controversial as it may be, Emezi's book weaves a complex and messy story that forces us to confront our own expectations, desires, and conceptions of relationships. She employs characters who feel real, grounded, smart, but still a reflection of our times-- they're not overly sophisticated and clever literary tropes. These women feel authentic and somehow powerful, perhaps because they are so willing to be exactly who they are, at any given moment. They live truthfully, if imperfectly.

I really did love reading this book, though it isn't one I'd recommend widely because I wouldn't want it to fall into the wrong hands and garner disdain. I think a certain group of people will also see its brilliance and should be carefully considered rather than picked up casually by a neighborhood book club. If you are easily offended or define yourself as a conservative person, I wouldn't recommend you try this one out. But for those who like being challenged, who are open to and receptive of 'edgy' lifestyles, I would absolutely recommend this.

Okay, wow. I didn't read the synopsis for this book beyond the very first lines, because I knew the author was good and I didn't want anything spoiled. Maybe if I'd read that I would have been more prepared for where the story went, but wow it was wild experiencing that with no idea it was going in that direction.

I really enjoyed this book, and I feel like it balanced the feelings of grief and new love so well. I was a bit worried in the beginning I wouldn't be able to handle all of the stuff about her ex-husband's death, but I got through it okay. I think this book is beautiful and messy and I really want to believe in it, honestly. It made me feel so many things.

I'm not sure I'd recommend this to everyone; I feel like I'd want to give a caveat or two if I did. But who knows, maybe I'll think about it. The writing was beautiful of course and there was nothing wrong with it that isn't the case for almost any romance.

Thank you to Atria Books and Netgalley for the chance to read and review this ARC.

DNF @ 71%

I really love Akwaeke Emezi's books. I think they've got beautiful prose and stories that I just eat up. This book had the same style: all flowing paragraphs and vivid images. It's different than their other books in a way, too, in how it treats its very adult cast of characters. It's upfront, and it's brutal, and it's just not for me. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing wrong with how the book was written or about how it went about telling its story etc etc. I was just personally...not vibing! with the main couple. The book description has that Feyi falls for "the one person who is most definitely off-limits," but it doesn't say who, so I won't say either. I just really couldn't get on with it, and I've decided this year that if I can't get on with a book, I don't have to finish it. SO ya, this book is definitely for someone out there, especially if you love Emezi's other books, it just wasn't for me.

I am, once again, blown away by Akwaeke Emezi. This book is absolutely distinct from their other works, but Emezi is faithful to their commitment to subvert expectations and make readers sit in discomfort... all with the most vibrant and sensual language. Seriously, Emezi's seductive writing style is absolutely perfect for romance and You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty is a masterpiece because of it.

It's hard to briefly describe what about this novel is brilliant, but it comes down to the more literary approach to romance, along with Emezi's commitment to pushing the boundaries at every turn. Not only is this a twist on the "forbidden love" trope, encouraging readers to root for an unconventional relationship, Emezi also seamlessly integrates queer love, recovery from grief and trauma, Black joy, and feminine sexuality and power. In addition, Emezi excels at introducing complicated characters, and Feyi, Nasir, and Alim are no different.

That said, I didn't love ~every~ minute of it, this novel falls victim a few tropes in romance that can get under my skin... including insta-love and codependence that is hard for me to visualize. However, unlike most contemporary romance, where the reader is encouraged to picture their selves as the protagonist, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty is ultimately Feyi's story. While I may not agree with her choices, I am comfortable allowing her to be human.

Source of book: NetGalley (thank you)
Relevant disclaimers: none
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.

Before I get into this, can we just touch upon the whole being allowed to use a Florence + The Machine lyric as the title of your book thing? Hashtag author goals.

Also I understand, like, localisation is a thing and, ironically, I know less about the British market than the US market but, like, why do Americans get this gorgeous vivid cover with a person’s actual face on it? And we get something that looks like the fucking relic ring from Skyrim.

Like, did they think we wouldn’t buy a book with a picture of beautiful Black woman on the front? So she had to be represented by a severed hand instead? What even? Is this reflecting badly on the UK reading audience or the UK publisher? I can’t even tell.

Anyway, this book is gorgeous, and I am dizzy on how much I loved it. I understand it’s the author’s first foray into romance and, obviously, when mainstream publications speak of romance it’s hard to figure out whether they mean, a book that happens to have a relationship in it, never mind whatever else it’s about, a book that wants to tell the romance genre (from a position of ignorance) all the ways it’s wrong or unrealistic or fomulaeic, or a book that is a sincere engagement with the romance genre while bringing a slightly different perspective. For my money, and your mileage may vary, You Made A fool of Death With Your Beauty is the latter.

It's a deliberately literary take on the genre, of course, but—to mind—it also treats genre expectations respectfully and with awareness. Which is to say, this while, in genre-terms, this is definitely a heroine-focused romance (it is thoroughly Feyi’s journey), there’s a strong central romance, and a happy ending, that is either 'for now' or 'for ever' depending on your personal perspective. Not everything is wrapped up in a neat little bow—these are complicated people and the situation is complicated—but I’m not of the school of thought that believes a romantic happy ending requires not just personal happiness but complete social integration of that happiness. As I’ve said on my occasions, that’s always struck me as a profoundly normative and privileged point of view. Of course it’s fine to create a mini utopia if that’s what feels right for an individual text. But the idea that’s a requirement? Or the happy ending isn’t happy enough? Please.

I’m aware I’m kind of talking around this book a fair bit here and it’s not just that I love the sound of my own voice (my own voice typing). I’m kind of anticipating—fairly or unfairly—that this book might be polarising for some people, and that there’s always an understandable resistance towards someone coming into the genre from outside or being placed adjacent to the genre by the outside, so I’m concerned that my praise could come across as diminishing of the genre itself. But I do genuinely believe the way this book—with the way it centralises Blackness and queerness, with the freedom it permits its heroine to live her life as she needs to and never punishes her for it, with all its beauty and its pain—carefully challenges some of the invisible boundaries we set upon the genre from the inside is … honestly, I think it’s important. And, while it is not up to me to make this judgement, I read it as coming from a brave and loving and generous place.

Please don’t think I’m trying to claim this lit-ficcy romance is the magic answer to the genre, or the thing the genre has always needed, or, like, a fix for the way the genre can be problematic and limiting. The genre will someday have to figure that shit out for itself. But in the meantime, this book is *lovely*. It’s as bold and entrancing and complex as its heroine. And I hope it will be welcomed.

The basic deal here is that the heroine, Feyi, is an artist whose husband died five years ago in a terrible car crash. Needing to live a completely different life in the aftermath of such terrible grief, she’s moved from the claustrophobia of her small town to New York to pursue her career and bond with her best friend, Joy—a self-destructive lesbian with a penchant for married women. Feyi has not exactly felt like dating since her husband died but while she’s out at a party she has a brief, physical encounter with a stranger called Milan. She and Milan continue to have a few mutually beneficial respectful but emotion-free hook-ups until one of Milan’s friends, Nasir, towards whom Feyi experiences something of a pull, approaches her. She’s still not ready for anything resembling a relationship but Nasir, who makes it very clear he is into Feyi, is willing to take things slow. To be friend with the hope of more in the future.

It’s at this point that Nasir brings an opportunity to Feyi. His father is on the board of directors for a museum about to open an exhibition of Black Diaspora artists and one of the artists has pulled out. Nasir had encouraged his father to put Feyi’s work before the curator and the curator had loved it. Nasir’s father, it turns out, is a big deal, being rich, influential and a celebrity chef (albeit a somewhat reclusive one). You can probably see where this might be going: Nasir invites Feyi to stay with him and his father in his father’s gorgeous tropical-island home while she prepares her installation for the art show. And from the moment Feyi meets the widowed, charismatic Alim Blake she’s conscious of her an emotional and physical attraction that feels realer than anything she’s experienced since Jonah died. An attraction she also knows she should in no way act upon.

Okay so. That’s a lot. I’m aware that it’s a lot. And I suspect if you told me the premise of this book in isolation, I’d be like “heh, no thank you.” I think the combination of the age-gap (there’s nineteen years between them), the fact Feyi is not-quite-dating Alim’s actual son, plus the inherent power dynamics in the relationship, given she’s a young woman trying to make it as an artist, and he’s a man who has already established himself in the world to the point of owning one of the most amazing houses I think I have ever read about fiction. But, you know what? Fuck it. This really worked for me, on pretty much every level.

Sometimes when I have to describe romance to romance sceptics which, admittedly, doesn’t come up very often because I don’t leave the house or have any friends but when I do, I often call it a genre of polemic. Because essentially a romance novel is … an argument, I mean in the classical rhetorical sense, not in the sense of a fight. A romance novel essentially presents an argument—makes a case—as to why two (or more) people would have their lives significantly improved by sharing them. And if you come out of the book agreeing then that’s a successful romance. If you come out of the book feeling meh or, worse, then it’s not. And obviously this is hugely subjective: what you read as protective alpha caring for his partner I might read as an abusive dick upholding the patriarchy, what I might read as two flawed human beings fitting their broken pieces together, you might read as two dumpster fires who need therapy not a relationship.

For me, You Made A fool of Death With Your Beauty makes its case beautifully and sufficiently convincingly that Feyi and Alim working through the various (very real) obstacles to their being together in order to be together felt genuinely romantic. Even triumphant. Because, what can I say? Sometimes you’re just going to fall for your boyfriend’s dad, y’know? I mean, I’ve just expressed that in a deliberately frivolous fashion but it’s something the book takes a lot of care with. For starters, Feyi and Nasir aren’t actually dating at the point she meets Alim—and she is already beginning to recognise she doesn’t feel about Nasir the way he feels about her—and the complications (I hesitate to say ‘taboo’ because it’s not really a taboo, just … socially discouraged) inherent to a relationship between Feyi and Alim are never presented as titillating. This isn’t a guilty fantasy of falling for a person you shouldn’t want. It’s a story of two people who truly belong together choosing each other because their love means more to them than convention and potential condemnation.

It's this—as much as Feyi and Alim both being bisexual—that You Made A fool of Death With Your Beauty so successful as a queer m/f romance. It’s a book that understands, on a fundamental level, that choosing love is sometimes one of the boldest, most defiant things you can do.

Even putting aside the potentially challenging nature of its central relationship, I think it’s pretty clear from the summary alone that there are several ways in which the narrative pushes against some of the invisible boundaries of romance that I mentioned earlier. And I don’t mean in terms of the HEA or anything like, I mean in terms of the unspoken no-nos governing characters and relationships that we pretend aren't dictated by the most heteronormative of expectations. For example, I can’t actually remember the last time I read a romance (outside of erotic romance) where the heroine is allowed to explore romantic-adjacent relationships with multiple men and this is presented as neutral-to-positive by the text itself. Feyi’s relationship with Nasir is, of course, difficult because he is accepting friendship as a substitute for what he really wants (although, let’s very clear, this is his choice, and Feyi is not responsible for him) but I really appreciated her interactions with Milan—the man she fucks in a bathroom in the opening chapter.

It’s undeniable, of course, that Feyi is behaving recklessly (she convinces him, for example, not to wear a condom) —and a little selfishly in the sense that she is having sex with Milan not for pleasure, exactly, but to reclaim her body from grief. But there’s never a moment when Feyi’s agency in the situation or her consent isn’t absolutely central and absolutely respected, both by Milan and by the text itself. There are no consequences for Feyi for her choices here, be they emotional, physical or social. And while both characters are mildly irresponsible, there is never a sense of danger for Feyi in what she is doing. The text takes it for granted that Milan—a cis man—will have sex with a woman he’s just met in a bathroom and not in any way view that as invitation to behave badly or judge her: this may, unfortunately, feel too much like romantic fantasy for some but I personally (and with no standing to judge) appreciated it. It felt like a deliberate attempt to push back against the dominant cultural narrative that casual sex is inherently or inevitably dangerous to women. And while that may, in fact, be true, it’s not a natural dynamic that we should replicate unthinkingly in the stories we tell. It’s an aberrant situation created by rape culture and the patriarchy. When the reality is and should be: women can have casual sex, even reckless selfish casual sex, without being punished for it.

Err, to bring this slightly closer to my lane because, obviously, I’m way out of it right now: I know depicting safe, responsible sex is sort of seen as ethically appropriate in fiction and I’m not knocking that, but I think it’s easy to inadvertently cross the line into reinforcing oppressive ideas about sex, and sex among people of marginalised identity in particular. I could talk about this more with reference to my own identity but I’d rather talk about this book.

Because, oh God, I’ve written so much without even touching on even half the things that are amazing about it. There’s Feyi, who I simply adored: she’s obviously still trying to figure out how to survive her loss, but she’s also just incredibly funny and full of life, allowed by the text to be confident, about her art, about her own beauty, as well as human and uncertain. She doesn’t always make the best choices but why should she? She’s a person, not a paragon. There’s also Feyi’s relationship with Joy: honestly, if the whole story had been them bantering and taking the piss (very lovingly) out of each other, I wouldn’t have minded. And then there’s the way the book both celebrates love (all kinds of love, not just the romantic relationships at it centre) and deals with the grief, particularly with how we live with grief and the way it changes us. But also the way that grief and love, at some point, are simply expressions of each other. Perhaps even reflections of each other. One of the things that moved me very much was the way, as the story unfolded itself, it presented a concept of grief not as something isolating, or something that separates you and your pain from the rest of the world, but as something universal and potentially uniting. There are many human experiences, after all, which are specific: but at some point we will all lose someone we love and have to live with that loss.

As for the relationship between Alim and Feyi, I’ve seen it described as insta-love which … doesn’t quite, for me, fit the bill. I think there’s insta-attraction, because they’re both incredibly hot, and insta-understanding, because they’re both people who have had their lives changed and shaped by intense personal loss. I think it’s this, at least initially, that draws them to each other—simply because it’s a significant part of who they are that’s impossible to share with someone who hasn’t experienced something similar (ask me how I know—no seriously, don’t, it’s personal). While there is a sense of connection between them from the beginning, and Feyi is, of course, hyper-aware of her attraction (alongside how inappropriate it is) the recognition that what they might feel for each other is love develops more slowly. They share conversation, understanding, jokes and most significantly their art (there’s a wonderful parallelism in Feyi’s response to Alim’s cooking and Alim’s response to Feyi’s installation: in their separate ways they communicate something that has profound meaning to the other person and alleviates a deep sense of loneliness they've both been carrying). Also do not get me started on Alim as a romantic hero: the man is beyond exquisite, with his cooking, and his beautiful house, and his juxtaposition of gentleness and strength. And, most importantly, the way he never wavers when it comes to Feyi.

Obviously the end of the book is quite intense as the truth of Alim and Feyi’s relationship comes out, and some of the scenes with Alim’s family are genuinely hard to read. As I said in the early part of this monster essay, I appreciated not everything was magically fixed by the book’s conclusion, but I also appreciated the way that the social context never became a point of conflict for Alim and Feyi. I was worried they would doubt each other or doubt themselves—and I wasn’t emotionally ready for that because the book had already taken me on such a vulnerable-making journey. But thankfully we didn’t go there and Feyi got an opportunity to defend her choices, even though she shouldn’t have had to defend them. As she tells Nasir:

“You have no ‘right’ to me, we weren’t together, we weren’t even exclusive. You’re not entitled to fuck me just because you were a decent human being and went along when I wasn’t ready to be intimate with you, or be mad because I ended up fucking someone else. You don’t get points for waiting for me. I didn’t use you, I didn’t lead you on. I went as far as I felt comfortable, and I stopped there.”

Given how much scrutiny heroines, and indeed female characters in general, tend to receive in the genre (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had editorial feedback along the lines that my women aren’t nice enough or thinking about the men in their lives enough--and maybe that's a problem with me and the way I write people orrrrrr....) I relished Feyi’s narrative freedom: she is allowed to who she is, to navigate her pain in the way she chooses to navigate it, to be selfish when it is healthy and righteous for her to be selfish, and to do what she needs to do to secure her own happiness, and always without compromise or contrition. Even her desire, right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, she owns:

Feyi pushed away the irrational feelings of rejection (He doesn’t have to want you, she scolded herself) and focused on what did belong to her— this desire. This desire that pooled like traitorous flame, that wasn’t in response to someone else, that was coming from her and just her. She belonged to it, and it belonged to her, and that’s as far as it needed to go.

Honestly, the only thing I was missing really, by the time the book wrapped up, was a touch more Joy (as in Joy the person, there was plenty of loving joy): there’s a hint or two that suggests her current relationship isn’t a disaster but, well, as much as I am against “resolve everything endings” I did need to know Joy was okay. Because Joy is the best.

Okay, I need to wrap this up because I could talk for hours, days, forever about this book. And, uh, it feels like I literally have? Also it just goes to show much there is to admire and think about that I’ve barely mentioned how perfect the writing is, whether it’s theback and forth between Joy and Feyi, or the tentative unfurlings of trust between Alim and Feyi, its incisive explorations of Feyi’s emotions and desires, or the lavish food and architecture porn that had me absolutely swooning.

I simply cannot recommend You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty highly enough: I’m sure there are people it's not going to work for but, for me, it’s one of the boldest, most powerful and … honestly … unabashedly romantic romances I’ve read since the last terrific romance I read.