Happy publication day to AND THEN I WOKE UP by Malcolm Devlin! And thank you to the author, @netgalley and @tordotcompub for the e-ARC.

I am still trying to sort out my feelings about this book. While this IS a post-apocalyptic story, it also appears to me to simply be a commentary on current events. However, that discussion would be full of spoilers.

So I leave you with this question in hopes it might intrigue you into reading:

What happens when the "disease" that causes the end of the world is a disease of influence and manipulation?

Well worth the read for the very unique disease premise alone. Don't go into this one expecting fast paced dystopian fighting. There is much more philosophy and pondering in this one.

Thank you to the publisher for sending me an ARC of this book!

And Then I Woke Up has a super interesting concept for a horror novella with a very fresh take on a “zombie” story. I’ll admit I was pretty confused for most of the story, but that’s sort of the nature of this one. What’s real? What’s simply part of the narrative? Who can you trust, if not even yourself?

I don’t often say this, but I think I would’ve enjoyed this story actually being longer. It would’ve been nice to get to know the characters more deeply and see different perspectives around the main event that happens.

Overall a super interesting concept, but I would’ve like to see it built out a little more.

First off, this book is a trip. Second, however, is the fact this book is a dream for fans of literary analysis. I know that sounds boring when I put it in academic terms like that, but there are so many layers to the book that if you broke it all down you could find yourself lost for a good, long time musing over what it all means and how it all connects and relates. I know I certainly had a hard time not going back and constantly re-reading passages to find all the moments, large and small, that make this book such a compelling read.

I am very glad this book clocks in at a little less than 200 pages, because the story couldn’t have supported a longer novel. To sound all Goldilocks about it: it’s just the right size. Even so, there was a good 20% of the book just shortly past halfway through the book that sagged a bit for me, as if the wind in the sails of the story had been taken out for a little while. This might have been an intentional choice by Devlin, to give the reader a chance to process everything they had read prior to this lull, but in terms of story beats, it comes a little too early to represent the low point most story arcs come with before they rally for the finish.

Then again, this both is and isn’t some typical Hero’s Journey. It is, at its heart, a type of hero’s journey, but our hero is mainly just going on his quest because he’s kind of bored, a little curious, and (like Ulysses), just ends up going back “home” and resuming the exact same life he was living at the very beginning of this book… even if he does have to reconcile some of what he saw and did on his journey in order to put his mind and life back in order.

My main notes on this book come from the evocative prose, the deep allegorical overtones regarding narratives, cognitive bias, cognitive dissonance, and deprogramming oneself, and the subtler psychosocial undertones of the stories we tell ourselves and others and how those stories are sometimes only meant to help us sleep at night.

Come prepared with your thinking cap on when you go to read this book. You’ll thank me for it.

Thanks to NetGalley, MacMillan-Tor/Forge, and Tordotcom for early access to this title in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Tordotcom is knocking it out of the park this year. Another awesome book devoured in nearly one sitting while home sick with the headcold from hell.

What a cool twist on the zombie apocalypse.

Imagine you're minding your own business, washing dishes in the backroom of a restaurant and one of the waitresses rushes into the kitchen freaking out and asking how to lock the swinging doors. You shrug and ask her why, and she tells you that the customers and staff have suddenly started attacking each other. Like, they've become monsters and are actually EATING each other. And then one of the cooks who was outside having a smoke comes in with a peice of their arm bitten out, claiming the head chef did it. Imagine that those of you who are seeing this, hearing this, quickly devise a plan to blow the place up, to stop the monsters or others or z-z-zombies or whatever from spreading their disease any further. To protect yourself from being one of their meals. And so you do it. You blow the place up! Boom!

Then imagine being told months later, after you've killed everyone in that restaurant and countless others in an attempt to survive this mad new world you've found yourself in, that YOU are the ones who were infected, that there were never any monsters or others or z-z-zombies, but that YOU were the ones who were under the influence of a disease, and that you weren't responsible for the lives you took while you were under its influence, not responsible for the actions you took while under the influence of the 'narrative', and that the true survivors are actually the people who managed not to get killed by YOU.

Imagine if that happened.
Just imagine...

When you can't trust what your own senses, the people around you, the people you hold most dear, what can you trust?
Malcolm Devlin's new novella imagines a zombie apocolypse like we've never seen before, one in which there are no zombies at all. Here, it is not the external that creates the horror, but rather the inescapable claustrophobic interior of a mind that cannot trust itself, and turns its demons outward. Devlin's world is just as tranasfixing as it is repulsive, and shows how naaratives are twisted and turned in order to bring ourselves comfort much after the fact. Most horrifying and heartbreaking of all, however, is his ability to convince you that you deserve the lies after all.

And Then I Woke Up was completely bananas, in the best possible way. The world is in turmoil because a certain portion of the population has gone completely batshit, attacking innocent people for seemingly no reason. But quite literally nothing is what it seems, and people aren't sure what or who to believe anymore. Which is pretty much all I will tell you about that part of the story, because truly, it is worth unfurling all these mysteries on your own.

Spence is the main character, and he's been "cured" of this plague that is tearing the world apart. But he can't move on because he simply can't live with the things he's done, which makes sense really. He meets Leila at the facility that cured him, and she wants out. Sounds like a terrible idea, but hey, who am I to judge? So during his time helping Leila, they both piece together what happened in their pasts to bring them to this place and time, and one story is more horrifying and heartbreaking than the next.

The story is so readable, because you simply need to know what the heck is going on. The way the author sets up the story, you absolutely feel sympathy for the characters immediately, and are eager to learn the ins and outs of their personal stories, and also how this plague changed the world as a whole. Simply put, I couldn't put this book down, even when I hadn't a clue what was happening- no, especially then. Because it was clear that the payoff would be worth it, and it was.

Bottom Line: Full of horror, yes, but also full of heart, I can't imagine I'll ever forget this story.

An interesting concept with decent execution, but overall I typically don’t love an infection/zombie story.

And Then I Woke Up is a terrific book that shows how facts are often unsatisfying and dull. They frequently offer nothing but emotional flatlines. Stories are where semblances of believability merge with engaging happenings. Those stories can be so appealing that people are willing to shun reality to either tie all the loose threads in their life in a meaningful bow, create exciting heights in their life, escape their confusing and inextricable ruts, or all of the above. And this story does it so, so well.

Stories can improve one’s emotional intelligence and expand their imagination. It can also be weaponized. It’s never more apparent than today, when a quick look at the comments section on a webpage is rife with conspiracy theories that often are counterintuitive to reality and one’s health. People stage insurrections and die from viruses because of unfounded stories posted online. It’s no coincidence that as our world is increasingly collapsing, people are jumping ship to get away from it. They create their own world, where everything is seemingly afloat, and those sinking are seen as unsavable sheep that are too far gone. The more pain in our world, the more people try to alleviate it, and nothing is more powerful than dismissing all the pain as an illusion and replacing it with an idea in which you’re enlightened and special.

Spence is a dishwasher enamored by a waiter named Macey. Meanwhile, many people’s susceptibility to believing what once were unbelievable is increasing. Spence and Macey get swept up in it, as Macey’s charisma and elocution convince Spence that a zombie apocalypse has started. Some people aren’t buying it, however. Deaths ensue from both his and the opposing side, leading Spence to eventually be hospitalized. What follows is a beautifully written, emotionally intelligent exploration of how and why we craft and absorb beliefs.

The three main characters – Spence, Macey, and Leila – are developed with aplomb. I really felt like I knew these characters inside and out. All their motivations made sense. All their changes of heart felt earned. The other characters were less developed but still felt crucial to the narrative. And the writing moved at a great pace, taking some breaks to philosophize which never came close to being boring or feeling like a tangent. This is a story that’s so engaging that those people susceptible to being overtaken by narratives would eat it up in a heartbeat.

As much as I would love to unwaveringly assert a certain narrative of what Devlin was aiming for in this story, that would be counterintuitive to this tale’s message. To me, it feels like it was inspired by how charismatic figures have wielded their strengths and used it against people susceptible to Qanon, antivaxxers, and other conspiracy groups. However, I can see another reader see what I see, and attribute this book to exploring psychosis, too. As someone with schizoaffective disorder who experienced psychosis before being properly medicated, let me be the first to say that Devlin nails the concept of delusions whether it be from a want to have their reality change, or from neurochemistry out of their control. I think the road to arriving at those delusions are different, but the destination is the same. There’s a simplicity to them that’s comforting where everything you see fits in perfectly with the next, because you are the creator of your world, rather than inhabiting the randomness of reality. Just like how an author writes a story.

Sometimes the best stories are those that are benign. Relaxation can be just as alluring as electrifying purpose. And Then I Woke Up isn’t just a perfectly crafted story, it’s a steppingstone to filter fact from fiction and to make those be on alert of the diversity of appealing lies. As a book reviewer, not many people see the value of stories as much as those of my ilk. And Then I Wake Up sees it even more clearly. It excises the monotony of reality and replaces it with something fresh and compelling. Stories go down like treats, and we should continue consuming them. We just have to make sure, from time to time, to eat our veggies.

The Math

Nerd Coefficient 10/10

And Then I Woke Up is a wonderful novella that I recommend anyone to read. It gives you a perspective and understanding of the power of misinformation in the lens of a zombie outbreak. Some of the tales broke my heart and despite the short time with the characters, I found myself grown attached to them.

This was a really interesting concept, but the story itself felt too short to properly develop the characters or plot. While we do get backstory for our main characters, we don't really get anything else to make them feel all that compelling or fleshed out. There were also a lot of interesting ideas here, but they felt fairly underdeveloped for the most part and only half-realized. I think this would have benefited a lot if there had been more pages dedicated to building up the two main characters interactions and developing their relationship so that the ending wouldn't feel so underwhelming. There were a lot of cool ideas here, and I feel like the developing friendship between the two characters could have been something that I grew attached to and cared about, but the story seemed to end before I could really form any sort of attachment. All in all, it was a cool idea but the execution fell kind of flat to me.

As a media studies student, I genuinely think this could, and should, be assigned as a course text in my program. I really enjoyed the unreliable narrator's perspective; his tendency to make the reader question their own assumptions and perception of reality shows how easy it is for distrust to spread. The novel deals with misinformation in the modern age and is at once a horrifying and honest cultural critique.

It is so hard to talk about AND THEN I WOKE UP without giving spoilers, and I definitely don’t want to mess up that first glorious read for anyone. The “ohhhhh…is THAT what’s happening?” moment in this book was one of the best reveals I’ve experienced in a long time, even though I knew from the description that “perhaps something very different is happening”. The best part, is that the reveal isn’t even presented as a shocking reveal—it is more of a slow, dawning realization. Very well done.

I’m not generally a fan of zombie fiction, or even zombie movies (unless it’s Shaun of the Dead), but this book really hit home for me. I enjoy surreal stories with slightly experimental format which really dive into a concept and rip it apart from the inside out, and in that regard AND THEN I WOKE UP really delivers. While it also would appeal to general fans of the zombie horror genre (there’s plenty of suspense and zombie violence), this book is more about psychological horror and an allegory on society.

Overall, this is a book I will definitely remember and recommend to friends. I will be seeking out more by Malcolm Devlin, as well—clearly a quite skillful author.

A quick but powerful, horrific read.

It's the end of the world, er kind of, the screams and monsters you see devouring others and turning to you for their next meal...they want you to believe it, to see it, but is it there? Or could it be in your head?

Is your mind strong enough to dismiss the narrative?

An infection of the mind cropped up, one that made some hallucinate the end of the world or something close to it, causing all kinds of chaos and murder. We are repeatedly exposed to brutal scenes where the world is split and some can dismiss the narrative and well, some just can't....but can they be cured?

If you know me, you know one of my favorite things to say is; perspective. Sometimes a simple shift in how you look at something can warp the way it affects you. It's impactful to be self aware and be able to realize there may be a version you aren't seeing, that is power.

This was written beautifully and I look forward to more of Devlin's work.

Stories have a way of shaping our worldview, of allowing us to see things differently or from another perspective. That’s usually a positive thing, but not necessarily so in the world of Malcolm Devlin’s And Then I Woke Up, a harrowing tale about an infection that quickly sweeps the world and shapes the infected’s worldview for the worse. It makes people turn violent and live a life in which their only focus is how to survive. If that logline sounds overly familiar, don’t worry, there’s a wholly unique spin that sets this story apart that I will try not to fully reveal. What I can disclose is that Devlin has created a tense horror story that is quick to read but slow to leave your thoughts.

Within the short novel, storytelling is the framing device while also acting as its own major force in the world. The main threat is so terrifying because it’s not one you can run from. It’s behind your eyes, winning its battle against you before you are even aware there was one. The main character, Spence, has been “cured” of the infection, but is still trying to comprehend exactly what that means. If there aren’t any physical signs to look for, how does he know if he’s not slipping back into the disease? Self-assurance proves to be a hard destination to walk back to, and the misinformation and mob mentality he tries to navigate feel incredibly relevant to the world we are living in now.

The struggles in the book are not just cerebral either. There is real carnage enacted in these pages, and the sights, sounds, and even smells of this destruction are made very clear to the reader through the author’s description. Both the interior and exterior forces at play create a horrifying and unique world to experience. But as Spence himself declares in the opening pages, this is also a love story. Not in an overtly romantic way, but in a compassionate one. Characters that have gone through unspeakable trauma still show tremendous empathy towards one another, giving a ray of hope to the uncertain future they face. Where a story like this could focus on action and set pieces, this story gives this main relationship the spotlight, and is all the more original for it.

And though there is compassion for one another and shared trauma throughout society, the story really lives in the attempt to forgive oneself, and if said forgiveness is even deserved. Characters in this world have to deal with horrific things that they did under what they thought were the very best intentions, and wonder where responsibility lies in a situation like that. There is always the temptation to leave the convoluted and frustrating real world behind in favor of a fantasy that someone has laid out for you, but And I Woke Up is a scary but compelling argument that a messy truth is still one worth fighting for.

The zombie genre is a tough world to tell a tale in as it's so frequently used and there's very little new left to be found. And Then I Woke Up not only finds a unique angle, but one I can't say I've ever read before. Saying more just ruins the joy of discovery, so I'll leave it there for description.

While this isn't a typical zombie story, you will be treated to some zombie action. The real joy comes from the exploration of perception and the way that stories can take ahold of us and create whole new worlds. Be sure to add this to your reading list.

This was such a unique take on zombie apocalypse/ pandemic would in which half the population is in a “narrative” where they believe their loved ones have been infected by a zombie virus. I loved our narrator, a “cured” man who’s happy with his life but is self aware he has done some bad things in the name of said virus and overall it’s really introspective and I’m ready to try more of his books!

A zombie plague has spread across the world. Or has it? You need to do things you’ve never imagined to survive. Or do you? These are the concepts explored in And Then I Woke Up. Main character, Spence, has been in a rehab facility for awhile now and has come to realize that the true plague is one the affects human’s perception of reality. That perception is explored further when one of the people in rehab with him asks for his help on seeking out he old group.

Wow. I found this engaging from the get-go. The story picked up instantly and never stopped. Told between flashes to the past and current day, this is the perfect exploration of plague on earth. It is particularly timely and relevant in a world filled with “fake news” and skewed perceptions.

My only real quarrel with the book is that I wished it was longer. I could’ve easily read a full length novel based on this plot.

The nitty-gritty: There's plenty of food for thought in this short horror story that takes the idea of perception and turns it on its head.

Did you ever wonder why people perceive events in different ways? Two people might see the exact same thing but come away with two different interpretations of what happened. This is the idea behind Malcolm Devlin’s latest, a psychological horror story about a pandemic of sorts, where those who become infected turn into monsters and start eating people. Devlin takes the idea of how narrative shapes our beliefs and how dangerous that can be, and I absolutely loved this short, brutal and thought-provoking tale.

Spence is one of the cured. He used to be infected but was rescued, and now he lives in an institution called Ironside with others like himself. The story is framed around Spence leading a group therapy session as he tells his story to the other cured at Ironside. Through Spence’s story, we learn how the infection started. One day at the restaurant where he worked, Spence and his coworker Macey are shocked when the customers in the dining room suddenly turn into monsters and start killing everyone. Spence and Macey barely escape, but others in the restaurant aren’t so lucky, including a waitress named Pinky who’s been bitten by a monster and is convinced she’ll turn into one herself.

Little by little society becomes divided into the infected, the uninfected and the cured. In a post apocalyptic landscape, where roving groups of uninfected try to survive in a world gone crazy, Spence’s tale unfolds, and eventually we learn how he ended up at Ironside.

That’s all I can say about the plot, because nothing is quite what it seems in this story. The first half feels like your typical apocalypse scenario. Society breaks down, looters run rampant, and the news channels and social media portray a world gone mad. Safe within the walls of Ironside, Spence and his friends are protected from the media with “curated” news stories. They are told that their infection isn’t gone, but merely dormant, and could return at any time. They believe this narrative and cling to it like a life preserver.

But what is the truth? And how do you separate truth from fiction? Spence is still trying to figure that out, even though he believes what he's been told. Devlin takes the idea of news stories and social media and how the truth can be skewed one way or the other, and builds a fascinating horror tale around that idea. Through Spence’s experiences, he explores the idea of how powerful stories can be in both good and bad ways, how they shape our perceptions of events.

There are some devastating moments in And Then I Woke Up. Spence himself has done some terrible things and is trying to atone for his sins. We meet a girl named Leila, another resident of Ironside, who has a soul crushing backstory. Leila figures into one of the story’s most poignant moments at the end when she makes a shocking decision and asks Spence to help her carry it out. Interspersed with the horrific elements are wryly humorous observations about the human condition and the way belief shapes each individual’s personal narrative.

There’s an awesome twist when we learn the “truth” of what’s happening, and it was pretty mind blowing! Even Spence, who has been on both sides of the apocalypse as an infected and a cured, still seems uncertain as to whether he’s figured things out, even though he claims to have “woken up.” Are you curious? Then you’ll definitely want to read this for yourself.

Big thanks to the publisher for providing a review copy.

TITLE: And Then I Woke Up
AUTHOR: Malcolm Devlin
176 pages, TorDotCom Publishing, ISBN 9781250798077 (paperback, also available in e-book)

DESCRIPTION: (from the back cover): In a world reeling from an unusual plague, monsters lurk in the streets while terrified survivors arm themselves and roam the countryside in packs. Or perhaps something very different is happening. When a disease affects how reality is perceived, it’s hard to be certain of anything…

Spence is one of the “cured” living at the Ironside rehabilitation facility. Haunted by guilt, he refuses to face the changed world until a new inmate challenges him to help her find her old crew. But if he can’t tell the truth from the lies, how will he know if he has earned the redemption he dreams of? How will he know he hasn’t just made things worse?

MY RATING: 5 stars out of 5

MY THOUGHTS: I love a good unreliable narrator, and Spence, the narrator of And Then I Woke Up, absolutely fits that description. Of course, being unreliable isn’t really his fault: his world has been turned upside down twice thanks to the latest plague, and sometimes his understanding of events is a bit muddled between what really happened and what he thinks happened. Reliable or not, Spence’s voice is captivating, pulling the reader along as he jumps between his present (returned to Ironside, as we find out in the opening pages of the book), his recent past (time spent outside the facility locating a fellow inmate’s plague-victim “crew”), and his earlier life (as a member of a different plague-victim “crew”). It’s not often I pronounce that a book is “unputdownable.” As much as I love novellas, I usually end up taking at least two sittings to read one of this length. But And Then I Woke Up turned out to be “unputdownable” for me, and I suspect it will also for many of my friends who love horror.

While I enjoy apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic fiction that takes time to explain the scientific or political underpinnings of whatever plague/crisis the world is facing, I really appreciated that author Malcolm Devlin did not spend any time on that aspect of world-building here. The nature of the plague, exactly how it works, is as unclear to the reader as it is to the character narrating the story. Spence is not a scientist, a reporter, a politician: he’s an average guy who has held down a number of jobs and is working as a dishwasher when the plague breaks loose. He doesn’t understand epidemiology; he just understands that suddenly some people are zombies, and some people aren’t, and that he needs to do whatever he needs to do to survive this zombie apocalypse.

Except that, as the book description above points out, it’s not actually the zombie apocalypse, but rather a distortion in how people perceive reality. This is a horror novel that is more-than-topical, taking on the rise of “false news” and the societal effect of the mindset that everyone’s opinion is as valid, if not more valid, than actual fact. Throughout the novella, Devlin touches on how just a few “true believers” can sway the perceptions of “followers” as well as how tenuous “deprogramming” efforts can be even when someone voluntarily leaves the cult (or in this case, the “crew”) when they start to question the beliefs they’re following.

While there is plenty of bloodshed and death in the book, it is not described in excruciating detail. This is not gross-out horror; it’s more psychological, as both the reader and Spence come to terms with the things he and others have done while subject to the plague. Concentrating on the psychological aspect, on Spence’s unsurety about certain events and absolutely certainty of others (along with hints that what he’s certain about may not be what actually happened), gives the book the narrative drive that kept me engaged from first page to last.

Absolutely recommended for folks who want their horror to be thought-provoking along with being disturbing and bloody.

I received an advance reading copy of this book for free from TorDotCom Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

I initially had a hard time getting into this book and it was completely on me. I requested this book based off a review someone else had done and so did not read the blurb. I was very confused when I started because it was not what I expected. After reading the blurb and getting into the right mindset I was able to get more into this book. I found it interesting and creepy in a "was that real?" sort of way.