This novella is a unique take on our modern boogey-men, where a virus plants seeds of doubt and paranoia in it's victims until they see the non-infected as zombies that need purging. This story is not trite -- as we step through the view of different characters as certain scenes are told and replayed the pathos and tension builds.

The didactic, repetitive tone from our unabashedly unreliable narrator, Spence, ("This is what happened. This is what happened.") drives the plot forward in a way that makes you wary, uncertain of what you are reading and the actual shape of reality in this world. What can you believe when trust itself is broken?

The story ends on an unclear note - a perfect conclusion to reflect the persuadable truths we deal with today.

I'm not sure what to say about this... interesting set up. Didn't feel invested to the characters, except for Leila but that was only at the very very end when we actually get a little back story on her. I didn't think the writing or narrative was exceptional. This was a difficult book for me to pick up for some reason.

I really was not expecting to like this as much as I did, but I read it in one seating - which I really don't do often.

<b> This review does not contain actual spoilers, but I do say some things about the way the book is narrated! If you want to go into this one blind, maybe skip this one for now. </b>

This had me hooked from the first page. The way the story is told - I do love a good unreliable narrator who knows they're unreliable at times - works wonders to get the point of this story across. I feel like the amount of layers behind this plot could be studied from so many different perspectives and so many different conclusions could be taken - which is the point, I suppose.

The characters and their individual stories are fascinating and the conclusion to this left my brain scrambled in the best way possible.

My favorite thing about this, though, is that the way Spence is telling us the story makes it feel like he is selling us, the readers, a narrative and the more meta it got the more in love I fell.

Thank you so much NetGalley for this ARC!

I am apparently in the extreme minority, so take my review with several heapings of salt, but I did not enjoy this novella. The premise is intriguing, and the writing itself was fine, but I found the execution lackluster. Mainly, I didn't gel with the way this book was an overt allegory, with extended philosophical digressions about "others," "stories" and "narratives," and the like. It read as faux-deep, which is probably an unfair assessment, so please check it out for yourselves, but it was decidedly not for me.

I have to say I really enjoyed this book. The beginning was a bit slow but after it gets going it's quite hard to put down. This is a brilliant twist on the traditional zombie story. I don't particularly enjoy that subgenre but this one is really something special. I liked how thought provoking it was and how it brought up a conversation about perception and manipulation, I spent quite some time thinking about these topics after I finished the book. It's also pretty short so if you're looking for a quick read that's fun and thrilling but also makes you think, this is the perfect choice.

Before you dismiss this as the same old apocalyptic monster story, let me tell you this: It is not what you believe it to be. But you have to read it to see it for what it is.

There are some really interesting observations about the influences of perception in this story. It’s clearly a story with an agenda, and it’s a chilling message when considering how applicable it is to real life.

I liked the eerie statement the author made. I just wish he’d chosen to execute it differently. The idea is fantastic, but instead of letting something simmer symbolically, the author tells the reader everything. That, in itself, IS symbolic (and you’ll understand if you read this), but I found the process of this novella exhausting.

I am immensely grateful to Tordotcom for my digital review copy through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

My ONLY complaint is that I wish that this were longer. It's incredibly compelling and interesting - writing a horror novella, especially one that features something as expected as zombies, is hard. Devlin manages not only to write a zombie horror, but manages to do it incredibly well. This is SO interesting and is genuinely such a fresh take on the zombie genre.

This is a psychological horror novella that focuses on 2 patients at a psych hospital, and we spend most of the book with them telling their backstories of how they ended up there. it was a good story that kept me entertained but i couldn’t help but feel like i wish it was expanded to a novel, i just wanted more development.

Thanks to the publishers for sharing this one. I picked it up meaning to read a chapter before bed and the next thing I knew I was halfway through it. It's not the zombie story I was expecting but I really liked it. My full review appears on Weekend Notes.

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!

Going into this, I was thinking it was going to be a 3 or maybe a 4 star read. But the moment the realization hit, I knew this was going to be a solid 5/5 for me. What follows contains some spoilers, so read with caution, as I recommend going into this without context as much as possible.

I hate zombie stories. I'm going to say that off the bat. I hate them because, since childhood, I feared getting sick and I feared hospitals and I feared things I couldn't fight against. You can fight a serial killer, but not a virus, and that has always been my hesitancy with zombie stories. You don't get zombies without a virus of some kind.

But this is what I would call the single most genius subversion of the zombie subgenre. The way Devlin flips the script entirely on who the infected are and what the virus in this context does to perspective was brilliant. A zombie plague that only creates monsters in the minds of the infected who are being subjected to a neurosyphilitic disease causing group hallucinations due to shared psychosis? Genius genius genius.

Beautifully written, with a fantastic narrator who knows his testimony isn't reliable, I loved this novella from start to finish and would recommend it to anyone who enjoyed STATION ELEVEN but also enjoys something a little more horror based.

Malcolm Devlin’s novella, And Then I Woke Up, explores the concept of the truth and the way its many versions influence choice and action. The story’s narrator speaks directly to the reader, helping them adjust to prior events and the new world order. At every turn, you will be left wondering: how much of this is real?

And Then I Woke Up takes place in a not-so-distant future where an atypical illness leaves monsters in its wake. Survivors arm themselves and seek refuge in groups. Fearing for their lives, boundaries are crossed, and lines begin to blur. Spence is one such individual. “Cured” and living at the Ironside rehabilitation facility, all he wants now is redemption, and he might just find it through a new inmate’s search for her own truth. However, not all may be what it seems. When a disease compromises your ability to define reality, differentiating fact from fiction becomes infinitely harder and trust, almost impossible.

Some books are better experienced going in blind; And Then I Woke Up is one of them. Part of the allure of Devlin’s narrative is the way he twists the perception of reality through Spence’s explanation to the reader. The timeline is not always linear and explores other versions of what happened, complicating and simplifying the story elements all at once. Just when you think you understand the sequence of events, Devlin challenges that idea, introducing new variables for you to consider. This unique narrative structure and direct reference to the reader pairs with Spence’s strong voice to completely immerse you in what’s happening, clearly painting vivid imagery of a world attempting to recover itself.

Grimdark fans will appreciate And Then I Woke Up for the internal struggles the characters experience, the unreliability of the narrative, and the way Devlin constructs a hazy maze where the truth lays hidden. The novella also explores the trauma associated with the consequences of one’s actions and how powerful the framing of the narrative can be both from an individual perspective as well as a societal one: “Macey once told me the problem with the truth was that it was so poorly written. Given the choice, the pleasantly told lie is always more seductive.” Devlin leaves you to draw your own conclusions, especially in regards to what is true.

Thank you to Tordotcom for sending me an ARC of And Then I Woke Up to review.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with this advance reader copy.

Description from NetGalley:
In a world reeling from an unusual plague, monsters lurk in the streets while terrified survivors arm themselves and roam the countryside in packs. Or perhaps something very different is happening. When a disease affects how reality is perceived, it’s hard to be certain of anything…
Spence is one of the “cured” living at the Ironside rehabilitation facility. Haunted by guilt, he refuses to face the changed world until a new inmate challenges him to help her find her old crew. But if he can’t tell the truth from the lies, how will he know if he has earned the redemption he dreams of? How will he know he hasn’t just made things worse?
I’m not hugely familiar with unreliable narrators,but this novella is upfront with how unreliable the narrator is because of how key phrases are repeated. The virus messes so much with people’s brains and their perceptions that even families turn on each other thinking that there are zombies or “others.” The writing plays into that uncertainty as to what is real and what isn’t, especially once Spence and others are “cured.” I’m not going to say more because spoilers are present almost from the get go in this great novella.
Overall: 4.5/5

The only crumbs of information that I will give you for this, is that it’s a zombie-ish story ( kind of ) , except flipped and definitely much more than that. Beautifully written. Haunting. Emotional. The last two pages are so perfectly written that it reminds me of just how powerful words can be.

Unreliable narrators tell the story of a near future where their fellow citizens are transformed into flesh-eating creatures. OR their fellow citizens are stricken by a disease that makes them imagine others are being transformed into flesh-eating creatures, prompting them to kill these imaginary monsters. There’s an underlying message here about the divisions in our world and how the absolute certainties of our beliefs can rob us of empathy and understanding, and in that respect, this short read is very successful. But from a pure story standpoint, it’s confusing and ultimately frustrating as some of the book’s bigger questions remain unanswered.

A book with the title And Then I Woke Up implies it has a certain connection with dreams, which it both does and does not but context is vital. When we wake up we often only have partial recollection of what we dreamed and if they are nightmares perhaps are left with a residual feeling of unease of what occurred the previous night. Spence, the main character in this novel, has such feelings, he is aware of what went on in his previous ‘life’, but his perception and recollection of the genuine events is off-kilter and he feels overwhelming guilt which plays a large part in the theme threaded throughout the story. He is trying to start over, but for reasons explained which become apparent, cannot move on from his past and is not as peace with himself.

Even though And Then I Woke Up was quirky, had an original idea, I found it rather frustrating, like the dream I just mentioned there were too many unanswered questions and its vagueness tested my patience. Yes, it was ambitious, but I doubt it was as intelligent as it intended to be, being built around false narratives that went nowhere except round in circles. The main story hook was a nice idea which was developed around Spence leaving a rehabilitation centre, however, what does he actually do when he leaves the place except follow a woman around? Absolutely zero. The major current time plot (not the flashbacks) lacked drive, action, substance and although the reader is supposed to question what ‘reality’ is, even though it was a short book, I was beyond caring and found the whole experience underwhelming and rather empty which was not helped by the fact that main character Spence was particularly nondescript and since this was a first-person narrative he probably needed more spark to carry the story.

It may well be that this is one of those books which split critical option, as some big genre names have been talking it up, including Stephen Graham Jones, Mira Grant, Alma Katsu, Jeffrey Ford, Nancy Kress and Brian Evenson. However, their comments do not reflect the book I read, so perhaps check out other reviews to see what others think of it and watch out for the word ‘zombie’. Although this is Malcolm Devlin’s debut novel, but he is an established short story writer of note who has featured in Black Static, Interzone, The Shadow Booth and Shadows and Tall Trees. His first collection, You Will Grow Into Them was shortlisted for the British Fantasy and Saboteur Awards in 2017 and his second collection, Unexpected Places to Fall From, Unexpected Places to Land, came out last year.

And Then I Woke Up opens with Spence in Ironside rehabilitation centre where the residents use group therapy to discuss a weird type of apocalypse which resulted in them ending up in the centre. We find out early in the book that Spence is seen as ‘cured’ but that in the previous apocalypse was responsible for killing people and carries the photos of some of his victims and as part of his therapy has even tried to track down surviving members of their families to apologise. This very much came across as something akin to the 12-step program of Alcoholics or Narcotics Anonymous with the residents repeatedly taking about their previous ‘sins’ especially to the new arrivals, in particular Leila who Spence feels a connection with.

What was this apocalypse? Spence worked in a restaurant and whilst washing dishes hears screaming and his friend Macey tells him that some guests have started attacking and biting other visitors. Zombies. But are they? In the present time narrative, we find out that this might have been a disease which affected how reality was perceived. So, in reality in escaping the bloodbath in the restaurant Spence and Macey were not killing zombies at all. Put this in a wider context, parents realise they have killed their children and husbands realise they have murdered their wives. As a result, rehabilitation centres spring up and many keep redemption in a divided country which still shows scars of the war.

However, nothing is explained 100% and I cannot guarantee that is exactly what happened as the inhabitants of Ironside are not allowed to watch current news and be being forced a particular narrative. Events are built via two narratives, with Spence and Macey in flashback and Leila in the current story, whom he abandons the centre to help her find the crew she used to run and kill with. Hoping for redemption he struggles to separate the truth from the lies and I could feel Spence’s pain as I thought the same thing. Spence just did not do enough to carry And Then I Woke Up, he spent a fair bit of time hanging around these two women and feeling sorry for himself. Ultimately, I did not feel much empathy towards this character and in first-person narratives the success or failure of novels depend on the reading connecting with the main character. Let’s talk zombies, I cried my eyes out at the end of Alden Bell’s The Reapers are the Angels. Why? Because my connection with fifteen-year-old Temple touched my heart. Alternatively, And Then I Woke Up is built around a quirky concept, but fails entirely to give the reader a character to believe in.

If you go into this book expecting a zombie novel you will be undoubtedly disappointed, instead you are presented with one of the ultimate unreliable narrators, as even he did not truly know what went on via the loss of perception on reality. In the end And Then I Woke Up asks us who the monsters are? And there are no easy answers. Perhaps in the world of fake news, politicians who seem to sink lower and lower as the days go by, and Covid-19 denial the novel is making a fair enough point.

Oh my God, book made me so sad.

I mean, you start out thinking it’s kind of standard z-poc and do we need another one really, but then when you get going, you realize it’s so much more about us and maybe not about the monsters at all.

Many of the revelations in the book are simply devastating. You end this really not knowing where the line between cruelty and mercy really lies – and you have no idea how you personally would handle this. You’re just so sad that any of the characters had to go through this.

Horror elements to be sure, but definitely more about the idea what sometimes we mean well, but end up doing horrible things – and how the hell do we deal with that and remain sane? Maybe we don’t.

A good book, but I now need something lighter to read.

*ARC via Publisher

**spoiler alert** Absolutely five stars. A beautifully told story about stories and a poetic reflection on the state of our world (USA particularly). As a science-fiction work, it read well and the mechanics were written well so that I found the story, or stories, to be the main point… maybe that will make more sense when you read it?

Spoiler below:

I find it difficult to ever relate to an aging man, but despite that perspective I highly appreciated hearing stories through the lens of the MC listening to others and the absence of romantic or sexual desire helped solidify a narrative of love versus horror story. I really appreciated the perspective of a working class MC, of a character that isn’t a hero swooping in to fix the world’s problems, but a person walking along through life reflecting.

I was super stoked when unseen I was approved for And Then I Woke Up by Malcolm Devlin.

This freaking book oh my goodness. I LOVED IT!
I love everything about it, the plot, characters, events, dialogue.
This story was well thought out. It's the way the mind of a genius would work.
An absolute page turner with non-stop action and constant plot twists. 

Tordotcom,
Thank You for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!
I will post my review closer to pub date.

This is a zombie apocalypse story...sort of. The story is about monsters, about perceptions, and about one guy stuck inside a rehabilitation center. This was an odd story for sure, sadly for me I just couldn’t get into the story as much as I would have liked. It’s a quick and short read.

*Thanks Netgalley and Macmillan-Tor/Forge, Tordotcom for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

I loved this book. It’s kind of a horror story the difference between perception and reality in a really cool way. I absolutely both the settings and the characters. Highly recommend!