(This is a highly imperfect review, but I'm going with it because this book deserves every bit of attention it can get—and I'm tired of writing and erasing, writing and erasing while trying to find *the* right way to talk about it.)

Rasheed Newson's My Government Means to Kill Me is one of those absolutely essential novel that one doesn't realize is needed until one has read it. It's the fictional memoir of Trey Newson, a young, Black gay man who's moved from Indianapolis to New York City in the early 1980s at the start of the AIDS epidemic. Trey is naive, but observant, and realizes that, as the title states, his government does mean to kill him. He sees the lack of response to the AIDS epidemic and the disproportionate impact it's having on the Black community. He establishes an unlikely friendship with Bayard Rustin who acts as a sort of Socratic mentor, questioning Trey to help him explore his own experiences and values. He volunteers for gay Men's Health Crisis and takes part in the creation of ACT-UP. Trey's story makes for an engaging, frustrating, infuriating, and hopeful story of those years.

What I find particularly remarkable about this book is its use of footnotes. Yes, footnotes. Newson isn't just writing for those who lived through the AIDS epidemic and who will understand his references to real-life events and peoples. He's also writing for the "Treys" of today—young queer folk who we born two decades later than the time in which the novel is set.

In the 1980s, I was doing a good deal of outreach to teachers, urging them to embrace the fact that—whether or not they knew who was who—they had queer kids in their classes, and kids with queer parents, and that they had a particular responsibility to this student population. One of the points I kept emphasizing in my work was that growing up queer presents specific challenges. And one challenge I emphasized was that queer kids are members of a culture that involves far more than sexual or affectional identity. Being queer meant being part of a community—a community with its own cultural icons, its own history, its own popular culture, its own holidays, its own faith institutions. Yet, because of homophobia, along with the fact that most queer kids are raised within straight families, the kids had very little knowledge of that culture. And because it was a culture they were born into, but not *raised* in, they generally weren't able to draw on it as a source of strength and pride.

The queer community is much more visible now, but it's still not uncommon for a queer kid to feel as if they may be the only one, that there's no place where who they are is normal, where they can find others like themselves. And things were so much worse in the 80s.

What I love about this novel above all else is the footnotes. Yep, footnotes. Newson's writing is full of references to historical events, political movements, and real-world individuals, and he uses footnotes to explain in a clear and accessible way what and who those events, movements, and people are. If you were a queer adult during the 80s, you may not need all this supplemental information. But if you're straight or if you weren't yet born in the 80s, My Government Means to Kill Me makes those years accessible. It gives readers an entree into queer culture at a time of particular challenge and of powerful resistance. And we could definitely use that sort of resistance in meeting the challenges of our current challenges.

If you're able, you should be buying copies of My Government Means to Kill Me for every young adult in your life (queer or not) and for every public library around you. You should be leaving copies of it in those little free libraries people have on their front lawns. You should be giving copies to parents, to aunts, to uncles, to grandparents. We need this history. We need it now.

I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.

So powerful. I learned so much in these 273 pages, more than I have, I feel, in my lifetime. Rasheed Newson tells a beautiful fictional story about a Black gay boy named Trey, surrounded by historical happenings and unforgettable resisters. I’m honestly speechless by how much this book made me feel- scared, devastated, hopeless and hopeful, excited, and safe. This book, our history is not for the faint of heart. Rasheed Newson, through Trey, as well as Angie and Simon and Rustin and the countless other brothers and sisters who we exist on the shoulders of, illustrates the ACT up movement fraught with sacrifices and loss and resilience, in such a beautiful manner. This is truly a must read. Definitely in my top 3 of 2022 thus far.

Only a couple chapters into 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 ME by Rasheed Newson, I had to go online to double check that the book is actually fiction. It reads SO MUCH like a memoir which is one of the things that made this book so special. Trey Singleton is 17, Black, and queer fleeing his wealthy Indianapolis family in order to find himself and his people in 1980’s NYC. Trey’s a charismatic guy and he finds many friends willing to help educate him, not only in living as a queer man, but also as a queer Black man. Obviously, Trey’s timing coincides with the HIV/AIDS epidemic, which ultimately becomes the heart of this story.⁣
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The very best part of 𝘔𝘺 𝘎𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘔𝘦 is that it’s chock full of real people and events and those are all thoroughly footnoted at the end of each chapter. It was a true history lesson! I loved finding out all kinds of details/intel that I hadn’t ever known or was misinformed about. Equally as impressive is the way Newson weaves his young protagonist’s coming-of-age story in with the lives of real life legends of race, sexuality, and HIV/AIDS activism. The story is raw and gritty. It definitely won't be for every reader, but for anyone who was drawn to 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘖𝘯 and wants to learn more about the role the Black LGBTQ+ community played during that era, this is a book you need to read. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⁣
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Thanks to @flatironbooks for an ARC of #MyGovernmentMeansToKillMe.

This is a powerful and highly original story. Trey Singleton leaves Indiana for New York City with little money and no connections, but eager for the freedom from his family and his past. Once in New York, Try quickly finds a cohort of people who will ultimately change the trajectory of his life. From an early experience advocating for himself and his neighbors, Trey finds himself drawn to AIDS advocacy -- and learns that he has a talent for it. As he figures out what he wants to do professionally, he is navigating personal relationships of all types, figuring out what connections he wants to maintain with his family, and making peace with his past.

This book is creative in both its story and structure. It does an excellent job of capturing mid-1980s New York and the history of that period in ways that have clear resonance with the current day.

Highly recommended!

Wonderfully insightful, I’m immediately ordering a physical copy of this book to reread and annotate. There are so many hitters in this but it’s done so well. Absolutely phenomenal.

My Government Means to Kill Me is a spectacular debut about a Black, gay teenager living in New York City in 1980s. Trey comes from a well-off, powerful family, but he leaves them and his inheritance behind to make a life for himself in the Big Apple. In moving towards a new life, he’s also running away from something - something from his past that still haunts him. Trey also quickly discovers that even in a big, liberal city being Black and gay can be dangerous, and that danger becomes even worse when he gets involved in activism.

I am simply obsessed with this book and I can easily say it’s one of my favorites this year. Told from a first person perspective, it reads like a memoir and mixes real events with fictional ones in a way that blended together perfectly. I kept checking if it’s really a work of fiction because there’s a lot of real life characters (like Fred Trump or Dorothy Cotton) who make an appearance on the pages of this book, and that made the story even more believable. Reading this novel felt like being transported right into the queer scene of New York and the Civil Rights Movement. I loved that Newson didn’t shy away from describing such difficult themes as the rampant homophobia and the AIDS crisis, but Trey’s personality and the characters we meet are so colorful and fascinating, that the novel doesn’t feel too gloomy. It’s a beautiful and loving novel about coming of age in one of the most painful times in queer history, and I am incredibly impressed with what a powerful debut it is.

TLDR: My Government Means to Kill Me is a brilliant, intimate story that makes me proud to be a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Definitely a must read in current times!

My Government Means to Kill Me is a raw, unflinching coming of age story that is currently living rent-free in my head.

This book is fiction, but it’s written as a memoir and is highly believable as one. Trey, the son of wealthy parents from Indianapolis, rejects all financial support and moves to NYC at 17 to make his way on his own. He’s young, Black, poor, gay, and living in the 80s during the AIDS crisis.

Trey is a character that will stay with me. He’s brave and clever, but also so young and often naïve. He is wonderfully (and sometimes terrifyingly) open to new experiences, and he builds a supporting cast full of interesting characters.

I learned so much from this book. As Trey connects with real historical figures and lives through real historical moments, the author includes footnotes that give additional information.

My Government Means to Kill Me covers heavy topics like AIDS, hospice care, homophobia, and activism, but it is not all dark. Trey lives through hard things, but he also experiences joy and love and excitement as he builds a new life on his terms.

I don’t think this will be for every reader because of lots of explicit sex scenes. But readers open to seeing the raw truth of this time period will get a lot from this propulsive novel. I highly recommend it.

Trey runs away from his overbearing family in 1980s Indianapolis to find a queer community in New York City. But he also finds a wave of death from the AIDS crisis, a chance to make a difference, and a personal and political awakening.

The real history, historical figures, and footnotes work really well here. If you're interested in the history of AIDS activism and 1980s queer life in New York, then this book will grab you immediately. It can feel a bit disjointed in its structure, but there's so much else to keep the reader engaged that I didn't mind. Thank you Rasheed Newson for giving us a meaningful look at a crucial moment in queer history!

This book left me absolutely speechless. It was beautifully written. It covered topics of aids/hiv, activism, family dynamics, and societal diversity in New York City. It was extremely accessible and digestible. It felt so much like a memoir and so real.

Welp....unbeknownst to be, this is actually NOT a memoir. This is a work of fiction...FICTION! It seemed so real, what with the footnotes providing context to the people and places referenced.

This was a fantastic coming of age story about a black, gay man who left his trust-fund money and family in Indianapolis to be in New York. Set up like a memoir, each chapter is separated as a Life Lesson. The story which is told is the respective life lesson. But between each lesson, the story flows seamlessly. What amazing characters he was surrounded with that got him deep into AIDs activism and advocate for AIDs afflicted in his community. This is a fantastic reflection on what it means to be human in '80s era NYC during the height of the AIDs pandemic. Told through the eyes of a young man trying to figure out who he is whilst also trying to make a difference.

This was one of those books I didn’t want to end. I became totally immersed in Trey’s story and the author did a great job of writing realistically; so realistically, in fact, that I had to keep reminding myself this wasn’t an autobiography.

This story takes place in NYC during the height of the AIDS epidemic and follows Trey who is a young, gay, black man and his experiences living in the city as he becomes an activist for the AIDS movement. This book is both written well and intensely interesting.

This is an incredible book. In the style of Moloka'i by Alan Brennert, "My Government Means to Kill Me" is a fictionalized memoir of a young queer Black man's coming of age in late 1980s Manhattan. As such, he encounters and experiences key historical moments and figures via his adventures in bath houses, art museums, advocacy organizations, and hospices. The story traces his journeys, both personal and political, from his wealthy family home in Indianapolis to his hand to mouth existence in Harlem. We also get to witness his political radicalization in ACT UP and work in the grass roots lesbian run AIDS hospices of New York.

There's no way to do justice to this book in a short review, but it is excellent, and one that everyone should read.

Thanks to NetGalley and FlatIron Books for the free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson
Release Date: 8/23/22

Through the story of Trey as he leaves his affluent Black family in Indianapolis and starts a live on his own in NYC, My Government Means to Kill Me tells about the effects of the AIDS crisis, lingering racism and the aftereffects of the Civil Rights movement, and the movements that fought for better conditions and medications for AIDS victims.

There were a lot of moments in this book where it was difficult to keep reading. Reading about the horror of the AIDS crisis is always difficult, but this book describes it in such an incredible way. I appreciated the historical notes at the end of each chapter and ended up learning quite a bit while I was reading this book through reading the notes and then doing further research on my own. I truly loved this book. It was so well written, the characters were so well done, the plots and storylines were incredible. Even the ending, which normally I would've been like I need a bit more for an ending like that, seemed to fit perfectly.

Thank you to @netgalley and @flatiron_books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

A truly remarkable first hand account of a trifecta of a man finding his was in so many different ways. This novel reads as a coming of age novel in my opinion. It looks at how time for so many gay black men is sped up, especially during the height of the aids crisis. There was this sense of of hurry and live because death was thought to be inevitable. There are many tragedies in the book that are almost like bittersweet stories in their own rights. I love the inclusion of the different aspects of history throught the book. I do feel the ending left a lot to be desired and would be interesting in learning much more about the author!

This book probably isn’t for everyone because of the amount of sexually explicit scenes but everyone should read it. It’s set in one of the most tumultuous times for gay men and steeped in queer history.

A refreshing historical fiction that transported me to the times of those in the queer community living in America at the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

This was a phenomenal read.
The coming of age story of a gay Black man set in 1980s NYC during the rise of the AIDS epidemic. Earl "Trey" Singleton III faces his political awakening while dealing with his own past traumas and navigating his many commitments in the city after leaving home at 18.
He is such a likeable character not without drama and flaws but finding out who he is with the help of many famous civil rights era leaders and 1980s modern activists.
The story blends LGBTQ+, civil rights, multi-generational, health crises so well. I was actually shocked when it ended I thought I had at least one more chapter. Please don't take that to mean that the ending is missing anything - I guess I just wanted more of Trey's story.
Truly great read. Historical fiction fans: read this one.

Reads like a fictionalized memoir and I was completely engaged the entire time. This is a book I'll be thinking about for a long time.

As a queer person who studied queer theory in school, I've read my fair share of novels addressing the AIDs crisis and the challenges and beauty of being gay in the 1980's. This novel, that reads like a memoir, will instantly rise to the top of the genre. It is powerfully and accessibly written and in my opinion an instant classic.

You can tell it's written by a TV writer--in a good way. It's action-packed an un-put-downable.

The author seemed more intent on TELLING A STORY and TEACHING A LESSON than actual storytelling and lost the narrative voice almost immediately (definitely by the second chapter). This ARC was a DNF.