This is such an emotional read. It is slow and complex. It focuses on dementia and its impact on caregivers. I was very heavily invested in this book.

I was not able to really get into this story, told as stream of consciousness of a woman with dementia, it also includes excerpts from a memoir she is writing. Alternate chapters are told from the POV of a dog. It just didn't work from me.
This story is based on personal events, and for me it would have been better as a straight memoir, rather than fiction. I understand that the author writes Young Adult novels, and that's what this one reads like.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. This wonderful book portrays the life of Mary who is diagnosed with alzheimer's disease. The book is told the different view points, Mary, her daughter and Mary's dog ( this took a little getting used to).. A brilliant book that highlights all the difficulties dealing with this disease including the emotional stress. A profound read.

EXCERPT: My name is Mary, and I have Alzheimer's disease.

Lurching gut.

It makes me think of AA meetings I've seen in the movies. My name is so-and-so, and I'm an alcoholic. It's an acknowledgement, a way of facing your problem. Writing this is an acknowledgement too. A way of confronting the truth.

I've been telling myself that I've just been having a few memory lapses - part of normal aging. But I'm slipping away. I can feel it.

Getting confused.

Losing logic and understanding.

Having to tell myself that red means stop and green means go.

I've been trying to hide it. Hide from it. Ignore it. Make excuses. But one day I'll be gone, even though I will still be here.

It's hard to accept. Hard to believe. A living death. A dying life.

Will I know what's happening? I hope not.

ABOUT 'GONE BUT STILL HERE': Coming to terms with advancing dementia, Mary has no choice other than to move into her daughter’s home. Her daughter, Kayla, caught between her cognitively impaired mother and her belligerent teenage son, soon finds caregiving is more challenging than she imagined. Sage, the family’s golden retriever, offers comfort and unconditional love, but she has her own problems, especially when it comes to dealing with Mary’s cat.

Throughout it all, Mary struggles to complete her final book — a memoir, the untold story of the love of her life, who died more than forty years earlier. Her confused and tangled tales span Trinidad, England, and Canada, revealing the secrets of a tragic interracial love story in the 1960s and ’70s. But with her writing skills slipping away, it’s a race against time.

MY THOUGHTS: Although Gone But Still Here is a work of fiction, Mary's backstory is the author's own.

This wonderful book can't have been easy to write, but it is written with wisdom and wit. Gone But Still Here is an emotional read. I cringed at the treatment Mary and Keith received from both family and strangers because of their interracial marriage. I cried as Mary struggled to raise three small children alone with little support, but I also applauded her bravery and determination. And Mary's journey into Alzheimer's? That engendered a whole range of emotions.

The story is told from multiple points of view: Mary - we get to live her disease through her eyes; Kayla, Mary's daughter who puts her own life on hold to care for her mother; Jesse, Kayla's teenage son and Mary's grandson whose life is also impacted by the arrival of his 'nutty' grandmother; and Sage, the wonderful family dog who provided a lot of light relief with her dog's view of life.

The author shares the struggles, frustrations, fears, and incredible joys that accompany caring for an Alzheimer's patient as a previously fractured family is drawn closer together by the experience.

While I loved this book and the storytelling, Sage (or Toby as Mary was sure she was called) is the outstanding character and earned this read an extra star.

⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

#GoneButStillHere #NetGalley

I: #jenniferdance @dundurnpress

T: @JenniferDance1 @dundurnpress

#contemporaryfiction #historicalfiction #aging #familydrama #deathanddying #sliceoflife

THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Dance was born in England and holds a B.Sc. in Agriculture and Animal Science from the University of the West Indies. She migrated to Canada in 1979. With family in the Native community, Jennifer has a passion for equality and justice for all people.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Dundurn Press via Netgalley for providing a digital ARC of Gone But Still Here by Jennifer Dance for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This review is also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage

In a Nutshell: A very emotional read focussing on the issues of Alzheimer’s sufferers as well as caregivers. It’s a slow and complicated read but the topic makes it worth the effort.

Story:
Mary: a seventy-five year old published writer who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Mary is determined to pen down her love story with her late husband Keith, whom she met in Trinidad in the 1960s. But with her memory degrading more day by day, will she be able to complete her story?
Kayla: Mary’s youngest daughter, single mom of three, singer. Only her youngest teen, Jesse, stays with her. But with Mary’s health worsening, Kayla has no choice but to bring Mary into her own home. Will she be able to handle this additional responsibility?
Sage: Kayla’s dog. Or rather, Jesse’s dog. A Golden Retriever, Sage is just as her name suggests, full of wisdom, understanding and caring. When her “Mom” brings “Gran” home, Sage knows that she also has to step up her responsibility. But her loyalties always lie with her main “upright”, Jesse.
The story comes to us in the first person perspective of these three distinct and enthralling characters.

Where the book worked for me:
😍 The author’s note right at the start sets a clear stage for the rest of the content. She talks about about her partner's Alzheimer's diagnosis and her frustrations being the caregiver. There is another author’s note at the end, which reveals the extent to which this story is based on true events. Keith Bowen, Mary’s late husband in the story, is based on the author’s first husband (also called Keith Bowen) and their inter-racial relationship. Kayla’s experiences are based the author’s caregiving for her second life partner, who is an Alzheimer’s patient. Both the notes made me quite emotional.
😍 I loved how the book highlighted not just the problems faced by the sufferer but also by the caregiver. Caregiving is never an easy job, but to do so for a patient with dementia has to be among the toughest of experiences. My heart went out to Kayla.
😍 The first person voice works brilliantly for the story. Mary’s confusion, Kayla’s frustration, and Sage’s muddled up loyalties, all come out clearly through the writing.
😍 Mary’s pov is the most complicated to read, as it feels like we are looking at a picture through sunshades, with only a few glimpses available at a time. We feel as confused as an Alzheimer's patient would. It is only at the end that we understand what exactly she went through. I was in awe of the author’s writing skills for successfully creating such a complex jigsaw puzzle of Mary’s life.
😍 There is no picture perfect family just to add on to the idea of a family shattered by Alzheimer’s. Kayla’s relationship with one of her siblings is tricky. Her ex-husband isn’t glorified or vilified; he just isn’t there. Jesse’s teenage hormones are highly active. I loved how the author kept the characters real, not too goody-goody.
😍 I didn’t understand why the author chose to have Sage the dog narrating one of the povs, but as the story progressed, I began to see the beauty of that decision. Having another human perspective such as that of Jesse of Kayla’s siblings would have repeated the same feelings as that of Kayla. It is Sage who provides us an outsider’s view of the family’s troubles. Furthermore, she provides the right amount of comic relief as well as emotional support to, thus handling extremely well the tough task of being a narrator. The presence of Regis the cat adds the perfect amount of conflict in Sage’s life.
😍 The book covers quite a lot of heavy themes: racism/white supremacy, healthcare system issues, caregivers’ issues, patients’ issues, interracial relationship problems. All are handled well, not surprising as the author chose to base most of these on her own life.
😍 There is a touch of magic realism to the story, the details of which I won’t reveal here. But this adds a beautiful poignant element to the story.
😍 As Kayla’s story begins in 2019, the author successfully incorporates the effects of the covid-19 pandemic and the lockdown on patients and caregivers.

Where the book could have worked better for me:
☹ It is slow.
☹ It is very heavy on the feelings. I found myself needing a break after a few chapters to get my emotional battery recharged.

Overall, I simply loved the story, the writing, the issues, and Sage. Despite the slow pace, I didn’t lose my interest or my investment in the characters. The author seems to have captured the spirit of a sufferer, a caregiver and a dog aptly. Much recommended.

4.5 stars.

Note: If you are already in a caregiving situation to an Alzheimer’s patient, this book might be either cathartic or too traumatic. Take a call accordingly. Not recommended to readers who are in a depressed mindspace.

My thanks to Dundurn Press and NetGalley for the DRC of “Gone but Still Here”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.

Thank you Netgalley and Dundurn Press for the opportunity to read and review this.

This is a touching story told from the point of view of Mary, her daughter Kayla, and Kayla's dog, Sage, as the family is hit with the news that Mary has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Throughout the story, we see Mary living her life with memories of the past, Kayla (and her son Jesse), as they struggle and adapt to look after Mary as her mind begins to deteriorate, and Sage who watches everything and does her best to comfort her humans.

To be honest, reading from the view of the family dog, Sage, I found a bit strange, but as the story progressed, it grew on me, as we see that pets (for those who have them), are very in tune with our emotions, and does what they can to comfort us their humans in time of emotional need.

This is a definite read, as it gives readers an insight into being a carer for those with Alzheimer’s (and Dementia), and the emotional struggle families go through to help their loved ones. It touches on sacrifice being made, and ultimately potential peace of mind of choices made.

This amazing book combines the story of a family crisis from so many different and interesting perspectives: Mary the matriarch who is losing herself to Alzheimer's, Sage the aging golden retriever whose main "upright" is Mary's grandson Jesse, and Mary's youngest daughter Kayla who becomes primary caregiver. I'm currently studying to become an Elderly Patient Advocate, and a lot of the notes I took on this book will serve as a case study on Alzheimer's so for that I'm grateful, but also I got completely swept up in the way the family's bi-racial, multi-cultural drama gradually came to light, and also the ingenious way heroic Sage the dog's point-of-view was presented.

Mary is trying to tell the story of her life and interracial marriage but she's got Alzheimer's. Her daughter Kayla is struggling with caring for her and for her teenage son. Both of them - and Sage the dog (yep, the dog) - narrate this emotional novel that clearly comes from Dance's life experience and heart. Caregivers will recognize Kayla as she navigates and copes with Mary who is slowly fading. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. A good, if sometimes tough,. read.

I want to say I enjoyed reading this but there were some bits that held me back from enjoying this fully.

The story starts off with Mary being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She shared her fear, despair and helplessness through her writing. Mary decided that she wants to write all details of her life before her memory leaves her. She tried to keep her illness from her children for as long as possible but soon she had no choice but to ask her children for help. Her daughter, Kayla, became her primary carer and she shared her struggles and experience in being a caregiver while dealing with the pain of watching Mary’s condition deteriorate.

This was told in the narrative of Mary, Kayla and Kayla’s dog, Sage. I love all varying emotions portrayed by Mary and Kayla. They are both learning and understanding the circumstances that surround them but most of all, they had to deal with a lot of uncertainties in the perspective of a caregiver and Alzheimer’s patient.
It was very interesting being inside Mary’s thoughts, how she tries hard to hold on to her memories and how scared and lost she felt when she couldn’t remember anything, not even her loved ones. It also broke my heart being inside Kayla’s thoughts. How sad and helpless she felt seeing her own mother go through Alzheimer’s but not able to do anything more to help her.

The main thing that held me back was the perspective of Sage. I understand that dogs are able to read the emotions but I felt that Sage’s perspective was unnecessary. Instead, I would have preferred to read about Kayla’s son perspective, who was still a teen and had to learn to take care of his grandmother when Kayla needs a breather.

Although this is a work of fiction, it is also somewhat Dance’s memoir as she is currently caring for her partner who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She poured her experience and feelings into Mary and Kayla which made the story more relatable and heartbreaking.

Thank you Netgalley and Dundurn Press for the arc.

Mary sets out to write the story she never told her children about their father and what they faced being in an interracial marriage. This is an enormous undertaking as she has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It’s more than just one woman’s experience with Alzheimer’s, though, it’s the story of what it means to be a caregiver. The book is filled with the variety of emotions that I suspect come with learning this is happening to you and for her children, regretting that maybe they missed the signs, fear of leaving her alone, fear of the uncertainties as the disease progresses, deciding what to do about care.

Along with the hard things, there are touching moments. There are funny moments and there are even moments of joy. In alternating chapters, with alternating narrators we get the perspective from Mary herself, her daughter Kayla, and Kayla’s dog, Sage. It took me a while to get used to Sage’s chapters, but in time, I did.

Jennifer Dance says “ Gone but Still Here is a work of fiction, but in many ways, it’s a memoir.” She’s is currently a caregiver for her partner who has Alzheimer’s disease and this feels like such a realistic portrayal of a caregiver’s experience with all of the frustration, difficulty, sadness, love and even humor. She was also in an interracial marriage, experiencing the racism and tragedy of loss as does Mary in this story. Knowing this, made all of the emotions and this story so much more poignant.

I received an advanced copy of this book from Dundurn Press through Edelweiss and NetGalley.

Its a bittersweet story of Mary who is losing her memories, watching them fade away. As she tries to write a book about her interracial lover who died a long time ago, it's a battle for her to come to terms with it and to race against time to hold on to her memories. A beautiful book.

I am making an early call that I have found my best book of 2022 already!

Gone But Still Here by Jennifer Dance is an amazing and unputdownable book.

This is a story that kept me gripped, emotions all over the place, and many many tears. But it is not a depressing read at all. Author Jennifer Dance is writing about what she knows. She was in an interracial marriage until her husband died leaving her a single mother. Her current partner of 30 years has Alzheimers and she has been living with this for the last couple of years. Now he has gone into full time care. All this emotion and experience has been poured into the story.

There are three main narrators, Mary, her daughter Kayla and Kayla’s dog Sage.

As the story progresses, and Mary slips further into the grips of alzheimers, her narrations lessened and the Kayla and Sage pick up the slack. Mary is living more in the past, and her dead husband becomes very real and encourages Mary to write their story while she still can. There is one moving scene where Mary’s daughter films her mother talking to her husband - her head lifted up looking at a man she loved that no one else can see or hear but Mary.

I loved it, I wanted to fly to Canada, find Jennifer and give her a hug. She has poured her soul into this story and you can tell.

I can also recommend two books of hers I’ve read as well - Red Wolf and Paint which look at how the first peoples were treated in Canada - amazing stories. Jennifer is a talented writer and I wish her all the best as her partner finishes his journey.

This is a poignant story about Mary with dementia, told in chapters by Mary, her caretaker daughter and the family dog. Mary is trying to write a book about her interracial marriage in the 60s and tragic loss of her husband, the love of her life.

It was interesting being inside Mary’s head, especially since i am dealing with a family with dementia and have dealt with others in the past and it is heartbreaking and gut wrenching.

It was also amazing to hear the author’s story and how she incorporated those elements into the book.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Dundurn Press for allowing me to read this book.

I have mixed feelings about this book. Although it felt like an accurate description of living with Alzheimer’s, there was something that stopped me from getting emotionally invested in the characters. The book was easy to read but I didn’t find my self feeling eager to see how the story played out for the different characters.

A fantastic beautifully told tale of a family who, in the face of Alzheimer’s disease, renews their passion for life. Recommend this one. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Emotive, well-written, engrossing; Dance's "Gone but Still Here" is absolutely captivating, whilst carrying a poignant message that is both heartwarming and heartbreaking.

This book was compelling, captivating and emotive.. it was so beautifully wirtten and had such a poignant message, I cried loads reading tis and will think about it for a while.

Jennifer Dance's book and writing style evokes strong emotional response from the readers. Reading it will leave you overflowing with emotions that you may not be able to start a new book without feeling a little bit still entranced in the book.

It is a story about the life of a woman who suffers dementia but has the desire to relive and immortalize her journey through writing. This book has a story-within-a-story feels that readers of novels and historical fiction will definitely love upon first reading.